THOUGHTS OF MY PSEUDO date with William have been all-consuming for the past forty-eight hours. So much so that it’s been difficult to get the simplest of tasks done—even the twins have caught on to the fact that something isn’t normal.
“Bella Bo Bella, the doorbell is ringing. Aren’t you going to go get it?” one of the twins asks as he pulls on the hem of my dress. It’s a gray sleeveless Victoria Beckham midi dress—made out of stretch knit material so it’s casual enough to pair with flats but easily dressed up with a pair of killer heels for tonight.
“Bow-chicka-wow-wow,” Cassie sings as I pull the door open. “That dress hugs you in all the right places, sister. Please tell me that’s what you’re wearing tonight.”
I walk Cassie back to the playroom where the twins are playing with Harper. “I sure am. I’m switching up the flats for a pair of my black suede Manolo Blahnik BB pumps. I was hoping you could watch the kids a little earlier than expected so I can do my makeup.”
“Of course chica. You know I’ve got your back. But to be honest, all you really need is a little smoky eye and some nude gloss. Just bring your makeup bag to the playroom and you can do it while we chat.”
I do as she says, dropping her off in the playroom and running into the mudroom for my makeup bag. Before I step back into the hall, I notice a small earring—It’s a gold leaf with a black pearl in front of the stud backing. Hmmm. Must be Ashley’s. I place it on the counter and mentally remind myself to shoot Ashley a text. I would hate for her to throw out a perfectly good earring just because she thought she was missing the matching pair.
I walk to the playroom, and straight into a scene out of a modern day Mary Poppins. Cassie has the boys playing the ‘clean up’ game while rocking Harper back and forth.
“You’re a natural.” I clap my hands and grin. “It never gets old watching you in action.”
“I have so many nieces and nephews. They’ve been my trial by fire for as long as I can remember.” Cassie rolls her eyes as she keeps the twins’ pace by tapping her foot on the hardwood floor. “Come on boys! Let’s see who’s going to win the clean up game. First one to finish gets dibs on the coloring books.”
Cassie places Harper down in her enclosed play area while I take out my eyeshadow and brushes. “You know, one day it’s going to be you with a ton of kids. I see how you look at babies.”
“Hush your mouth, Bella. I’m the youngest of five siblings and I’m in no hurry to further populate the Martinez family.” Cassie makes a sign of the cross with her thumb and forefinger, kissing her thumb at the end.
Laughing, I pull out my compact and start on my eyes. “Whatever you say, Cass.”
“So where is Mr. Hot Stuff taking you tonight?” she asks while laying out the coloring books and crayons.
“Tao for sushi. I wonder if he’s planning on taking Mariana there too.” Blowing a raspberry, I continue. “Ugh, this isn’t a date, so I shouldn’t even be placing myself in the same category as my aunt.”
“Hey, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…”
“It’s probably something relating to Harper. Nothing more. I definitely don’t want to build this up to be something it isn’t and then be totally crushed when the reality of it all hits.” I apply two generous coats of my favorite mascara, placing the tube back in my makeup bag.
Just as I’m about to pull out the gloss, my phone chimes. “It’s a text from William.” I unlock my phone and read the message, summarizing it for Cassie. “He’s running late. Said I should drop off the boys with Dad and meet him at the restaurant for dinner.”
“Speaking of your father, are you going to tell him who you’re meeting for dinner?” Cassie’s hazel eyes widen to epic proportions.
“Um, no. What kind of question is that? It would be all kinds of awkward if he found out I was meeting up with William after hours.”
“So what are you going to tell your dad?”
“Nothing. He doesn’t really ask me anything. Ever. Since the accident with Mom, he never talks about anything personal, and that includes my social life. I don’t know if it’s the guilt from laying so much responsibility on me or if it’s just too much for him to handle—imagining what a teenage girl is up to in the middle of the night.” I sigh deeply. “I couldn’t tell you. All I know is that he treats me differently since Mom’s death. It’s as if I stopped being his little girl and somehow became his employee.”
“Shit, Bella,” Cassie whispers low enough for it to elude little ears. “I’m so sorry.”
“It is what it is. I lost both of my parents the day my mother died… and the worst part of it is, it’s all my fault.” I blot my eyes with a tissue, not wanting to smear the work I’d just done. “I really can’t blame my father for disappearing on me when I was the one who took his wife away.”
“Isabella Moretti, don’t you dare say that. It was a car accident. Keyword being accident. You cannot blame yourself for such a loss and you most certainly cannot make excuses for your father because of it.” Cassie’s eyebrows knit together as her gaze pierces through me, seeing into the depths of my self-inflicted torment. “He is your father, you are his child. That means you’re supposed to come first—always. That’s what parents do. They are the ones who teach you the meaning of unconditional love.”
“Unconditional love. Is that even real?” I chortle, the sound tainted with bitterness. “If it is, I can tell you right now that I’ve never experienced it.”
“Only because you’ve never allowed yourself to. You know I love you, but you need some truth shoved in your face. You’ve built these walls around yourself. Only hooking up with one-night stands, nothing more; and now I find out about this whole thing with your father? It’s no wonder you’re so jaded when it comes to love.”
“Okay, I get it. I promise to make more of an effort in that department. Now can we get off the topic?” Sniffling, I pick up my bag and kiss Harper on the cheek. “I don’t want to be all blotchy and red-faced when I see William later.”
“See, that’s where you should start. William would make perfect practice.” Cassie claps her hands together excitedly.
“For the last time, this is not a date.” I roll my eyes and let out a slow breath before turning to look at the twins. “Speaking of my non-date, I’m going to be late for dinner if we don’t get going. Boys, finish coloring your pictures. We’re picking up fried chicken on the way home.”
The boys cheer and quickly start stowing away their crayons. I shake my head and laugh. “They love fried chicken. If you ever need to bribe them, just offer them food.”
