Ashley is passed out on the couch, remote still in her hand. The girls left about fifteen minutes ago, and I doubt they stirred to wake her.
I’m about to turn the television off when I see what’s playing, Kill for Me.
I chuckle, wondering if these ladies know that this movie is based on the real life Renzetti brothers, the notorious Famiglia based out of New York.
Ashley stirs as I lift her, mumbling something that has my blood thumping in my ears, “Nico is mine, bitches. I called dibs.”
She did not just say that.
My knees hit the foot of the bed as I lower her onto the mattress, my hand twitching and ready for a spanking.
“Titus? When did you get home?” Her eyes are squinting, trying to adjust to the dim light of the room. “Are the girls still here?”
“I got in a couple of minutes ago. No, the girls are gone. And no, you cannot and will not have Nico.”
Ashley’s eyes shoot wide open, her brows reaching toward her hairline. “What? What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about you calling dibs on Nico. You do know he’s an actual person, right? An actual person with a murderous wife who will no doubt slice your tongue out for saying her man is yours.”
Her face puckers, eyes narrowing with rage. “Were you spying on our girls’ night!?”
“No. You mumbled it in your sleep, and nice to know you’re talking about your fantasies with another man while I’m away from home.”
“I didn’t know he was real. But could you really blame me for fantasizing about having a relationship with a man who loves his woman so much he’s willing to kill for her, let alone be with her publicly as his partner.”
I take a step back, feeling as if I’ve been stabbed in the heart. How the fuck could she think I don’t love her like that? Is that how little she thinks of me?
My jaw ticks and my breathing deepens.
“If my actions haven’t proven to you that my love for you is true, that I would kill for you, that you are my fucking world––then I’ve been wasting my time.”
With a shake of my head, I turn to walk out of the room I’ve been sharing with my beautifully stubborn woman. Not one night has gone by where I’ve left her side. Sure, I could’ve brought her to my home—a home I’ve shared with others—but it never felt right. This tiny one-bedroom apartment felt more like home than my massive estate ever did.
Well, it did up until today.
“Titus!” Ashley shouts, stopping me from reaching for the door. “Where are you going?”
“Home, because this isn’t it.” My heart cracks open, watching the pain etch on Ashley’s face. Did I put it there? I think we both did. “My woman would never question my love, my loyalty. Over what? A fucking title?”
Her mouth hangs open, her beautiful lips begging me to come kiss the pain away, but I can’t.
Not now that I know how she truly feels.
“Titus.” My name is but a whisper on her lips while her eyes plead for me to stay. “It’s not just a title. It’s what it means. The safety and security, the permanence it brings.”
“Permanence? What does that even mean? Please enlighten me, because in my opinion, a title doesn’t mean shit. People get married and divorced all the fucking time. What did that title do for them? Jack shit.”
Ashley blinks repeatedly, silent tears falling down her face, shattering what little was left of my heart and decimating it into oblivion.
“I guess it doesn’t. Not if the people who give it don’t mean what the title implies.” She kneels on the bed, a hand wiping away her tears. “But that’s never what I asked for, that’s not something I’d ever want.”
Frustrated at her words, I stalk toward her, grabbing her shoulders before dropping my hands from her sides. “Then what do you want, min skatt? I’m not psychic.”
Her brows push together, eyes narrowing into thin slits. “I’m not asking you to be psychic, Titus. All I ever wanted was to be public about what we share. Not have to deny shit to my friends and family. I want you to be proud of having me by your side. Instead, you choose to wait around until the girls have left the apartment in order to come up and slip into my bed.”
I scoff, irritated at the fact that she can’t see this is all for her. “I do this to keep you safe, so that your relationship with your brother isn’t strained. You think I enjoy having to watch what I say around him? I’m constantly having to keep Hudson in check who’s already slipped up more than once.” My hand runs through my hair, tugging at it, about to pull it out in frustration. “He’d never be okay with you and me, Ashley. I know the moment I come clean, all hell will break loose.”
“But why? He, of all people, has no leg to stand on. He’s with his best friend’s niece and his friend’s daughter. It doesn’t get more off-limits than that.”
I huff, “It’s not about what I am to him, but what I am as a person.”
“What?” Ashley’s face scrunches up in confusion as her arms reach toward me, her delicate hands intertwining behind my neck and pulling me to her. “What are you talking about?”
Without hesitation, I follow, lowering her onto the bed as my body crawls over hers. “I’m a monster. The creature that goes bump in the night. No respectable brother would ever let his sister near me, let alone in my bed.”
Ashley licks her lips as her legs wrap around my waist. “You, Titus Bonde, are no monster. You are my knight––the rock I lean upon when the world is too much.”
I smile, letting the warmth that her words bring soothe my broken heart. “You have to remember, min skatt, your brother has seen me at my worst. He and the other men of WRATH were the ones to save me from myself.” Rocking myself against her, I trail my nose along the length of her jaw before placing a kiss on her chin. “Were it not for them, I would’ve continued on the path of self-destruction. I still have my darkness, but now, I use it for good instead of evil.”
Ashley nips at my jaw, her fingers scraping the scruff along my face. “Seems to me like this monster is more of an angel.”
I chuckle, unable to hold back the laughter. “Oh, little treasure, I’m definitely no angel.” My fingers slide her dress up before dipping under the hem of her panties and finding that sweet heaven I love so much. “Only a sinner would revel in lighting up your body like this.” Stroking between her folds, I let my fingers play in her juices, enjoying the delicious sounds she makes.
Yes. I’m definitely a sinner.
