“Don’t ask,” I warned when I found Claire standing outside the girls’ bathrooms on Wednesday morning, with a horrified expression on her face.
Snaki
“Shannon, I…I…” Claire shook her head and stared at me. “Shan –”
“Please,” I snapped, dropping my bag on the bathroom floor and catching her hands. “Help me.”
Tears filled her eyes.
“Don’t do that,” I begged, squeezing her hands. “Just help.”
She continued to stare at me for the longest moment with an almost trance-like expression before finally snapping out of it.
“Okay,” she sniffled and then offered me a bright smile. “I have just the trick.”
I exhaled a huge sigh of relief. “Thank you.”
Twenty minutes later, I stared at my reflection in the mirror and hardly recognized myself.
“I had to go full smoky-eyed, glamor-puss on your face to match the shade of foundation I used to cover your…” Her voice cracked and she cleared her throat several times before adding, “Well, what do you think?”
“Whoa,” I breathed, touching my red painted lips. “My lips are huge.”
“Yes, they are,” Claire agreed. “Women pay thousands of euros for lips like yours and you don’t even appreciate them.”
“And my eyes.” I shook my head and gaped at myself, fluttering my eyelashes admiringly. “Whoa, those are –”
“Gorgeous?” Claire offered, coming to stand beside me. “Because you are sickeningly gorgeous.”
“It’s the makeup,” I assured her, embarrassed.
“It’s the girl,” Claire corrected as she slung an arm around my shoulder.
I flinched from the contact, still tender from my father’s outburst, and Claire’s face fell.
“Shannon, I can’t keep –”
The bathroom door creaked open and Lizzie stepped into the bathroom, causing Claire to snap her mouth closed and me to sag in relief.
“Come on, girls,” she said, waving a hand at us. “We’re late for class.”
Never in my life had I been more grateful to see her as I was in this moment.
“I’m going to kill that bitch,” Lizzie hissed later that day during lunch.
Word had spread around school about the incident with Bella yesterday and my friend was peppering with anger.
“Seriously,” Lizzie added, glaring at the table at the opposite side of the lunch hall that seated at least fifty students – one of whom being Bella Wilkinson.
“If she looks over here one more time, I am going to go over there and rip those shiny new extensions out of her hair.”
“They’re pretty bad,” Claire agreed with a grimace.
“Bad?” Lizzie snapped. “It looks like she attached black seaweed to her hair.” Muttering something else under her breath, she added, “She’s a troll.”
“Just ignore her,” I pleaded, choosing to keep my eyes trained on my sandwich and not the table I was receiving death glares from.
It was safer to keep my head down.
All day, everywhere I went, curious eyes followed me.
I didn’t know how to handle this sort of attention.
I needed to not rock the boat.
And spending time with Johnny was as good as capsizing the ship.
I had bumped into him no less than three times between classes today, and each time he’d given me that beautiful, double dimpled smile, asked me how my day was going, and then told me he’d catch me later.
I could feel his eyes on me right now from across the room.
And it terrified me.
For the first time in my academic life, I had been given a beautiful cloak of invisibility at Tommen.
Johnny Kavanagh threatened to take that from me and I wasn’t nearly brave enough to let him.
All the goodness of last night had been sucked away by the threats of my father and the fear of Bella’s wrath.
Now, I was afraid again.
Of Bella.
Of my father.
Of the other girls at this school.
Of my feelings.
Of Johnny.
Of my own damn shadow.
“And she had the nerve to call you a slut,” Lizzie continued to rant, with me and Claire looking on helplessly. “She’s the one straddling Cormac Ryan over there.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I quickly told her, praying for her to just let it go.
“It does matter, Shannon,” Lizzie snapped. “No one gets to do this to you. Not here. Not again!”
“Liz,” Claire said in a low warning tone. “Leave it alone, okay?”
“We’re getting our holidays Friday,” I whispered, more to myself than the girls, as I desperately tried to calm myself down. “Two weeks of no Bella.”
“Exactly,” Claire offered gently. “Everyone will have forgotten about it by the time we come back.”
“I can’t believe you,” Lizzie snapped, glaring at Claire. “How are you okay with that bitch talking crap about our best friend?”
“I’m not okay with it,” Claire replied evenly. “I just know that making a scene is the last thing anyone needs.”
“Do you know what everyone is saying?” Lizzie demanded, and then continued before either of us had a chance to respond. “They are all saying Shannon is having sex with Johnny Kavanagh.”
“Great,” I groaned and dropped my head in my hands.
Claire placed a soothing hand on my shoulder. “Well, it’s not true.”
“I know that,” Lizzie huffed. “But Bella’s been going around saying that Shannon’s the reason her and Johnny are finished,” Lizzie hissed. “Because of that bitch and her lies, everyone in school is talking about our friend and saying that she must have a golden vagina to turn that big eejit’s head –”
“Don’t!” Claire hissed. “Don’t repeat it.”
“I’m going home,” I blurted, pushing back my chair, ready to bolt.
“No,” Claire replied calmly, pushing me back down in my seat. “You’re not.”
“Like hell you’re going home,” Lizzie growled. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”
Wrong or not, I wasn’t staying here.
Shaking off Claire’s hand, I shoved my chair back and stood up.
“I’m sorry,” I choked out, glancing at my friends. “But I can’t do this again.”
“We’ll come with you,” Claire called after me. “Shan, just don’t run –”
“No, it’s okay,” I mumbled. “You guys stay. I’m just…I’m going to go now.” Swinging around, I pushed past the tables and chairs blocking my way and bolted for the exit.
However, I did not anticipate the hand that snaked out from the rugby table at the doorway and grabbed my wrist, pulling me to an abrupt stop.
“What’s wrong?” Johnny was sitting on his chair, with his hand wrapped around my wrist, looking up at me with a concerned expression. “Shannon?”
Shaking my head, I pulled on my hand but Johnny didn’t let go.
Instead he pulled me closer to him, making this so much worse.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“I, uh, need to go home,” I squeezed out, glancing around nervously and finding several pairs of eyes trained on my face. Turning back to Johnny, I whispered, “I need to go now.”
“Home?” Johnny frowned. “Why?”
“Take a look around, Mister Fucking Hotshot,” Lizzie hissed, coming to stand beside me. “Or better still, open your ears.”
“My eyes are open,” Johnny replied as he released my hand and turned his attention to Lizzie. “And my ears are right here.”
“Lizzie,” I croaked out, shaking my head. “Just drop it.”
“No, if she has something to say to me, then she can say it,” Johnny drawled. “Go right ahead.”
“Fine,” Lizzie growled, taking ahold of my hand Johnny had released. “Your evil whore of a girlfriend is spreading lies about my friend, and I’m holding you entirely responsible for neither straightening the facts or putting her in her place.”
“What’s she talking about?” Gibsie, who was sitting across the table from Johnny, asked.
“No idea,” Johnny bit out.
“I’m talking about my friend’s reputation being tarnished because you were stupid enough to stick your dick inside that girl,” Lizzie snarled.
“What girl?” Hughie Biggs turned his head from where he was nuzzling his girlfriend’s neck to ask. “Who’d you stick your dick in, Cap?”
“Fuck off, Hughie,” Johnny snapped, eyes flicking to me.
I blushed scarlet and dropped my gaze from his.
“Oh, Jesus,” another boy who hung around with them asked. Patrick Feely, I think I remembered Claire calling him once. “What did you do now, Gibs?”
“It wasn’t me, Feely,” Gibsie snickered.
“Yeah,” Patrick muttered. “For once.”
“Can you all stop distracting me?” Lizzie barked. “I’m trying to sort something out here.”
“Baby,” a shaved-headed boy called from a few seats up the huge table. “What are you doing?”
“Mind your own damn business,” Lizzie shot back.
“Baby –”
“We’re in a fight right now, Pierce Ó Neill, so don’t even look at me.”
Releasing what sounded like a pained groan, Pierce shoved his chair back and rounded the table towards us.
“Saint,” Gibsie fake-coughed, clapping his arm as he passed by.
“I’m sorry,” Pierce announced, hands up in the air as he approached his girlfriend with caution. “It’s all my fault.”
“What are you sorry for?” she asked him.
“Everything?” Pierce replied, though it sounded more like a question. “Whatever you want me to be sorry for?”
“Was there a point to your big talk just there?” Johnny asked, drawing everyone’s attention back to him.
“Yes,” Lizzie bit out, glaring daggers at him.
“Then get to it,” he countered coolly.
“Fine,” Lizzie hissed. “I was talking about Bella telling everyone that the reason you ended things is because you’re riding Shannon. I was talking about everyone saying my friend must be a fantastic fuck to turn your stupid, rugby-ball head.”
“His head’s not shaped like a rugby ball,” Gibsie scoffed. “You said that about my head, too.”
“Not now, Gerard,” Claire admonished as she slumped onto the chair beside him.
“She’s lying,” Johnny snapped, bristling with tension.
“Obviously,” Lizzie sneered, shaking off Pierce’s hand as he tried to place it on her shoulder. “So now I want to know what you are you going to do about it?”
“Nothing,” I croaked out. “He’s going to do nothing about this because there’s nothing to do!”
“It’s your fault, Johnny,” Lizzie continued to talk over me. “This i
Johnny remained completely motionless for about fifteen seconds, eyes locked on Lizzie, not saying a single word, before bursting into action.
He shoved his chair back and stood up, eyes locked on me. “Come on.”
“W-what?” I choked out, gaping up at him.
“Come with me,” he ordered, holding out his hand for me. “We’re sorting this, now.”
I looked from Lizzie, who had her hands folded across her chest and a satisfied expression on her face, to Gibsie who looked ecstatic, to Claire who was cringing, to the other boys who just looked plain confused, before finally settling on Johnny.
He looked furious.
And expectant.
“No,” I strangled out, shaking my head. “No way. I’m not going over there.”
“She’s going to apologize to you publicly,” he told me. “She’s going to set everyone straight, publicly!” He glanced around the room before adding, “And I’m going to straighten out every other piece of shit that went along with her lies, publicly!”
“No.” My eyes widened in horror. “It’s okay. I don’t want an apology.”
He exhaled a frustrated breath. “It’s not okay, Shannon –”
“I am not going over there,” I repeated, trembling at the thought. “I don’t want to.”
“Fine,” Johnny growled, stepping around me. He kicked a chair out of his way, causing Pierce and Lizzie to part out of his way like the Red Sea before rounding the table. “I’ll sort it myself.”
“No –” Hurrying after him, I caught the sleeve of his jumper and dug my heels in. “Please don’t.”
Johnny dragged me along for about five feet before finally halting. “Then what do you want me to do?” he demanded, swinging around to face me.
“Nothing!” I spluttered, still clutching his sleeve. “Absolutely nothing.”
“I can’t do nothing.” He ran his free hand through his hair, clearly agitated. “They’re talking about you.”
“It doesn’t matter.” I shook my head, ignoring the stares I knew I was receiving, and tugged on his sleeve. “I don’t care.”
Johnny stared hard at me for a long moment before shaking his head. “Yeah, well I do,” he finally said. “I fucking care!”
“Why don’t we all fuck off out of here for the rest of the day?” Gibsie interjected, as he practically fell out of his chair in his attempt to intercept Johnny. “Take a breather from the drama,” he added as he clamped his hands down on Johnny’s shoulders. “And have a little craic.”
Johnny glared at him. “What are you talking about?”
“Good plan, lad,” Hughie offered as he slid over the table and moved to stand next to Gibsie.
“I’m up for that,” Claire piped up.
Gibsie flashed her a grateful look. “Your Mam’s gone back to London, isn’t she?” he asked, tearing his gaze off Claire to look at his friend, hands still clamped on his shoulders. “You’ve an empty house?”
Johnny nodded slowly, gaze flickering between Gibsie, Hughie, and the table behind them. “She left yesterday morning.”
“Then we’ll head over to yours and hang out for an hour.” Gibsie stated calmly before turning his grey eyes on me. “What do you think, little Shannon?” He gave me a meaningful look. “Fancy getting out of here before Kav turns the lunch hall into a scene from The Game of Thrones?”
I shuddered at the thought, having read all of those books.
“Actually, Thor’s making sense for once,” Lizzie said, putting in her two cents. She turned to me and said, “Go with it.”
Go with it?
Go with what?
“Uh…okay?”
“Perfect!” Gibsie performed a little drumroll on Johnny’s chest before slinging an arm over his shoulder and steering him towards the exit. “Let’s go,” he called over his shoulder before disappearing through the archway. “Now.”
I had no idea what was happening, but I fell into step with the others as we trailed after Johnny and Gibsie.
“They’re probably going somewhere so she can suck his cock,” a horribly familiar voice called out loudly enough to once again garner everyone’s attention. “You know about those ones from Elk Terrace. They’re up for anything.”
“Oh, hell fucking no,” Johnny snarled as he broke free of Gibsie and stormed past all of us. “This is getting sorted now,” he roared as he rounded the table and stalked towards Bella.
“For fuck’s sake,” Hughie groaned.
“You just can’t fucking help yourself, can you?” Johnny roared, pointing a finger in Bella’s face.
“I didn’t do anything,” Bella laughed. “Except state the truth.”
“The truth?” Johnny hissed, clearly livid. “You wouldn’t know the truth if it smacked you across the face.”
I had no idea what part of my body my sudden bravery erupted from, but it came hard and fast, and propelled my legs towards him.
“Johnny, don’t,” I strangled out as I chased after him.
For once in my life, I was glad to be tiny.
It allowed me to slide into the tiny space between Johnny and the table he was leaning over.
“Johnny,” I breathed, pressing hard on his chest. “Walk away.”
He didn’t look at me.
“Johnny,” I repeated, reaching up and touching his face.
He snapped his furious gaze on me.
“Walk away,” I commanded, staring up at him with my heart in my mouth. “Please.”
A vein ticked in Johnny’s temple as he stared down at me, looking more enraged than I’d ever seen him.
I didn’t dare breathe while I watched him make his choice.
Finally, he released a furious growl and nodded stiffly.
I exhaled a ragged breath.
Thank god…
“Keep her name out of your fucking mouth,” he snarled, chest heaving, as he allowed me to push him backwards away from the table.
“She’s a dirty, council-house slut,” Bella chimed evilly. “There’s no lie in that.”
“You better watch your fucking mouth,” Johnny snarled, slipping past me.
My heart sank.
I tried and I failed.
“Why? What are you going to do if I don’t, Johnny?” Bella hissed, jumping out of her chair and slapping his chest. “Hit me?”
“No–” Johnny paused to drag who Lizzie had called Cormac Ryan out of his chair, “I’m going to hit him.”
And then he smashed his fist into Cormac Ryan’s face.
Unlike yesterday, I did not wait to see the outcome.
Instead, I turned on my heels and bolted out of the lunch hall.
Because I knew this could go one of two ways.
Either way it went, I would lose.
I’d witnessed incidents just like this one, where Joey would jump in to defend my honor.
It made no difference to girls like that one.
I always lost.
