Bring Me Back: Chapter 11

With the adoption event only a couple of weeks away, I have to finalize all the little details.

“How many tables do you think we’ll need?” I tap on my notepad. “I found a couple in my garage, and James said he has two.”

Sadie waves a hand. “That should be plenty.”

“Okay, and you’re handling the pet supplies. Do you need extra?”

“Oh, no. Your boyfriend really hooked us up the last time he came by.”

My pen freezes on the paper. “My boyfriend?”

“He didn’t tell you?” She gestures to the pile of boxes stacked behind her desk. “He and his cop friends donated all of this. He’s such a sweetheart. You really lucked out with that one.”

My lips part in surprise. “Wait, I’m sorry. He told you he was my boyfriend?”

Her eyes widen. “Oh, well, no. I just assumed. Are you two not dating?”

“No. He lives next door to me. We’re friends.”

She presses her hand against her cheek. “Oh, I feel so foolish.”

“It’s no big deal. It was an honest mistake.”

She leans in and lowers her voice, even though no one else is around. “Although I must tell you, he didn’t correct me when I called you his girlfriend.”

Heat creeps into my cheeks. “Really?”

She gives me an emphatic nod. “Really. And he spends time with that runt pup you love so much.”

“He goes in the back with the dogs?”

She nods again.

I’m about to press her for more information about what James said, but my phone dances across the countertop and the name on the screen stops me dead in my tracks.

“Excuse me, Sadie. I have to take this.”

I swipe my thumb across the screen and scurry outside into the parking lot. “Tyler, hi.”

My brother’s voice warms my heart. “Hey, Nix. How’s it going?”

I let out a long breath. “It’s going well. How are you?”

“Ah, you know how it is with a baby and all. Have you seen the pictures on Facebook? Jenna’s getting so big already. It’s crazy how fast they grow.”

“No, I actually deleted my social media accounts. But I’d love it if you’d send me some photos of her.”

“Absolutely.”

I roll a rock under my sneaker. “It’s good to hear your voice.”

“Yeah, same. I would’ve called you sooner, but it’s been crazy here.” He laughs. “Jenna does this new thing where she kicks her feet when she’s hungry. It looks like she’s auditioning for Riverdance.”

I smile. “I can’t wait to see her. When are you thinking you’ll have her baptism?”

There’s a pause of silence. “Uh, we’re going to have the baptism down here. It’s just easier than traveling with a baby.”

“Oh, of course. Well, just let me know when it is so I can put it in my calendar.”

“Uh, well… about that.” He clears his throat. “Gabby and I were talking, and we don’t want any drama at the baptism. We’re going to fly Mom out, and we feel like it’d be best if you didn’t come.”

My throat swells, and my heart wrenches. “You know I wouldn’t cause any drama. I… I just want to celebrate Jenna and see you.”

“Look, you know how Mom is. She’s incapable of being the bigger person, and Gabby and I just don’t need that kind of stress on Jenna’s big day.”

I blink back tears. “So, does that mean I’m not going to be Jenna’s godmother?”

Tyler lowers his voice. “I’m sorry, Nix. I wish things could be different. But I’m so happy to hear you’re doing well right now.”

I choke back a sob. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but I have to go. Thanks for calling.”

I end the call before Tyler can say anything else, and head back inside the shelter.

“Everything okay?” Sadie asks, eyeing me from over the top of her glasses.

“Yeah. Do you mind if I go back to see the puppies?”

“Of course not, but are you all right?”

I nod, the tears about to brim over. “Everything’s great.”

She gives me a dubious look and gestures to the door. “You know where they are.”

I fling open the door and make my way to the back of the room until I get to the tiny puppy with the heart-shaped nose.

“Hey, bud.” The tip of his tiny white tail wags furiously as I step into his cage and scoop him up. “How are you doing today? Are your brothers and sisters treating you well?”

I lower myself into the corner of the small space, and he snuggles against my chest. I close my eyes and count my breaths as I will myself to calm down.

He licks a tear as it rolls down my cheek.

“Yeah, siblings are overrated.”

“Come on, you piece of shit.”

I grunt, struggling to get my new toilet over the pipe sticking out of the floor. Now I know why the guy who delivered it looked at me funny when I said I didn’t need help installing it.

The doorbell rings, and I call out to James. “Come in.”

His boots clunk along the floor in the hall until he stops in the doorway. “What are you doing?”

I blow a strand of hair out of my face. “I’m trying to get this toilet on but it doesn’t want to go, and it’s heavy.”

“Let me do it. Your ribs are still healing.” He kneels down and nudges me out of the way. “Why didn’t you tell me you needed help?”

I stand up and brush off my palms on my thighs. “I didn’t know I needed help until I needed it.”

“If you don’t do this right, it can cause a leak.” James bends over, and all my attention is drawn to his plump, round ass. He’s wearing sweatpants again—tight gray joggers this time—and I can’t convince myself to look away.

I slip my phone out of my pocket and snap a quick picture. Then I send it to Drew.

Me: He’s quite handy.

It’s not my proudest moment, but I’m not above shameless ogling. I’ve had a tough day, and if this man’s rear end makes it better, then so be it.

James sets the toilet into place and finishes the rest of the job, flushing several times until he’s satisfied.

“I’m going to let you start billing me for all of your services.” I lead him into the kitchen after he washes his hands. “Is there anything you can’t do?”

He chuckles. “Golf. Never been good at it.”

“Eh, that’s a boring sport anyway.” I rub my palms together. “Okay, what are we cooking tonight?”

“Chicken teriyaki with vegetables and rice noodles.” He hoists a large bag onto the counter. “And then we’re making dessert.”

I peer into the bag. “Please tell me it’s something made of chocolate.”

“It is.”

“Chocolate makes everything better.”

He side-eyes me as he lines up the ingredients on the counter. “Bad day?”

I wave him off. “No, I was just saying that I love chocolate.”

“What did you do today?”

I push away the reminder of the conversation I had with Tyler. “I went to visit the dogs, and I picked up a few things for the adoption event.”

“I’ve been passing out flyers on my shift. There should be a decent amount of people at the event.”

“That’s great. Thank you.”

He hands me a green pepper. “Start chopping.”

“You got it, Mr. Bossy Pants.”

He removes the chicken from the package and starts snipping away at the fatty parts. “While we’re on the subject of the shelter, Sadie mentioned to me that you were upset today.”

My knife slices into the pepper and smacks the cutting board with a little too much force. “That Sadie likes to talk, huh?”

“Who’s Tyler?”

Smack. “My brother.”

“And your brother made you cry?”

Smack. “I wasn’t crying.”

“That’s not what Sadie said.”

Smack, smack. “Well, Sadie is mistaken. I had something in my eye.”

“So, you had a nice chat with your brother?”

Smack, smack, smack. “As a matter of fact, I did.”

“Then why are you murdering that pepper right now?”

Smack. Smack. Smack. Smack.

“Hey.” James steps behind me and covers my hands with his. “Stop.”

Anger and sadness bubble beneath the surface of my skin, coursing through me like hot poison, and my lips tremble as I try to get out the words.

“He said I’m not invited to the baby’s baptism.”

“Your brother’s baby?”

I nod. “He said he doesn’t want my mother to make a scene if I’m there, so he’s choosing to invite her over me. And I won’t be the godmother either. I won’t be anything. The baby won’t even know me. I’m his only sister, and he doesn’t even care that I’m not in his life. It took him weeks to call me since… since I moved out here. It’s like I don’t matter to him, and I don’t know why.” I drop my chin to my chest. “I guess this is what I deserve.” Punishment for trying to take my own life. Tyler doesn’t want his unstable sister around the baby.

James blows out a stream of air through his nostrils and spins me around to face him. “Come here.” He pulls me against his chest and wraps his arms around me. His palm presses against the back of my head, cradling me there. His deep voice is at the cusp of my ear. “You don’t deserve this. This isn’t about you. This is about him, and your mother, and their issues. You didn’t make him treat you this way.” I grip onto him as I listen to his soothing voice. “You don’t deserve to hurt or cry. You deserve to smile, laugh, and be loved. You have a big heart, and you’re a good person, Phoenix.”

I release everything I’ve been holding in all day, the building resentment toward my brother, and the irreversible hurt my mother has caused me. I let go of it all, because I don’t have any strength left to hold on to it anymore.

And James takes it.

He lets me unload it, and he bears the weight.

I cry, and he holds me until I finish.

I step back and wipe my nose with the sleeve of my shirt. “I’m sorry about that. I don’t know where that came from.”

James grips my shoulders so I can’t get too far away. “You don’t have to apologize. You needed to let it out.”

I shake my head and glance up at the ceiling. “I know I shouldn’t care so much about someone who doesn’t care about me, but I can’t help it.”

“He’s your brother. Of course you care.” James lifts his hands to my face and swipes away the tears. “And it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about you. Most people don’t mean to hurt us when they do.”

My voice lowers to a whisper. “Sometimes it feels like all they do is hurt us. Everyone. Everything always hurts.”

His gentle touch lingers on my skin, trailing along my cheek, and down to my jawline. “Not everyone.”

I gaze up at him, this beautiful man staring back at me with warm intensity, and my heart flutters. “Sadie said you donated a bunch of supplies to the shelter.”

His thumb sweeps over my bottom lip. “That Sadie does like to talk.”

My heart rate speeds up as he traces my mouth. “She also mentioned you’ve been stopping by to see the puppies.”

“I wanted to check on them.”

“Why?”

His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat as he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “Because they matter to you.”

My eyes bounce between his, searching for the truth. “Why do you care what matters to me?”

His hand slips into my hair and settles at the base of my head, drawing me closer to him. “Because you matter to me.”

I slide my hands up his strong arms, over his wide shoulders, and press my palms against his chest. His heart beats a furious rhythm, matching my own. Underneath the hard, muscular exterior is a gentle, compassionate man. One who fights for the people he loves. One who stands by the people he cares about.

Me.

I’m someone he cares about.

I just can’t figure out why.

But maybe I don’t have to. Maybe right now, I can just enjoy it.

God, do I want to enjoy it.

A loud ring pierces the air, and we both jump.

“Sorry.” James clenches his jaw as he slips his phone out of his pocket and holds it up to his ear. “Yeah?”

I turn around to give him privacy, and finish chopping the pepper I half killed before. The person on the other end of the phone is muffled, but I can make out a man’s voice.

“Sure, no problem. See you then. Bye.” James sighs and sets his phone down on the counter. “I have to cover a shift tonight. One of the guys called out sick. We have time for dinner, but I can’t do dessert.”

I mask my disappointment. “That’s okay. We can save it for another night.”

The corners of his mouth pull downward, and I nudge him with my shoulder. “Finish up with that chicken, will you? I’m starving.”

James arches a brow. “Now look who’s being bossy.”

I grin. “Don’t get between me and my food.”

We cut up the chicken and the rest of the vegetables, and then he shows me how to sauté them in the pan. We work side by side, our arms brushing on occasion. I steal a peek at him any chance I get, loving the way he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth when he’s concentrating, the pinch between his dark brows, and how he devotes all of his attention to each little detail, as if it’s the most important thing on earth.

“So, have you been enjoying the books I got you last week?” James pulls out a chair for me at the table.

“Already been through two of them.”

His eyebrows jump as he takes the seat across from me. “Are they any good?”

“So good. I loved them both.” I fill his glass with water. “Do you read?”

“I do when I have the time. Usually at night when I can’t sleep.”

“What do you like to read?”

“Mystery and suspense. John Grisham’s my favorite author.”

“Never heard of him.” I close my eyes as I chew my first bite of chicken and noodles. “Oh my god. This is delicious.”

He offers me a satisfied smile. “Maybe next time we can do Italian. I’m trying to give you a variety of meals to make so you don’t get bored eating the same thing.”

“I will eat whatever you make. You’re the master chef.” I dab my mouth with my napkin. “Why is John Grisham your favorite author?”

He shrugs. “I just find his writing interesting.”

I set down my fork and square my shoulders. “I have an idea.”

He leans his elbows on the table and folds his hands. “I’m listening.”

“Why don’t you give me your favorite John Grisham book to read, and I’ll give you my favorite romance book. Then when we finish, we can discuss them. Kind of like a book club for two.”

“You want me to read a romance novel?”

“Are you secure in your manhood?”

He barks out a laugh. “Yes, I’d like to think I am.”

“Then it’s settled.”

“Deal.” He holds out his hand, and we shake on it.

After dinner, I try to shoo James out of the kitchen and tell him to go relax before he has to head out to work. Of course, he refuses.

“I don’t need you to help me with the dishes. I have this nifty new invention called a dishwasher. Watch this.” I wave a dramatic arm and place two dishes on the rack. “All I have to do is press a button, and then voilà! It cleans them for me.”

He rolls his eyes. “Smart-ass.”

I bend over to place the pan in next, and when I turn back around, James’s eyes are zeroed in on my ass.

I plant my hand on my hip. “Can I help you, sir?”

He hikes a nonchalant shoulder. “Figured it’s only fair since you have a picture of my ass in your phone.”

My throat goes dry, and all the bravado I just had left my body. “W-what?”

“I’m a cop. I see everything.”

Busted.

My cheeks burn, and I try to come up with any plausible excuse but my mouth just flaps open and closed.

He steps closer to me. “Tell me, Phoenix, who did you send that picture to? Or is it for your own personal use?”

I scoff. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

He lowers his voice and dips his head as he whispers in my ear. “Only if it’s the latter.”

My eyes widen, and goose bumps fly across my skin.

A smirk twists his luscious lips before James walks out and leaves me dumbfounded in the kitchen.