Bring Me Back: Chapter 21

“I’m so proud of you, Leo.”

He drops his chin and hides his smile. “Thanks.”

“You’re taking this EMT thing seriously and you’re going for it. This is going to be a whole new chapter in your life.”

“I just can’t wait for this to bring in more women. A hot EMT with tattoos? They won’t be able to resist.”

I laugh. “Fine, you can downplay this, but I won’t. I’m really proud, little bro.”

He shields his eyes from the sun, scanning the dog park. “Wilbur’s getting big.”

“He is. I love his little puppy stage, but I’m excited to see how big he’s going to get. The vet thinks he’ll be between eighty to a hundred pounds.”

“Damn. He’ll be the biggest dog in this place.”

I lean my elbows back against the bench. “So, you’re just looking to mess around with random women? You’re not interested in finding someone to be in a relationship with?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know if a relationship is for me.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not relationship material.”

“Says who?”

“I don’t know. I’m not the one who women want to settle down with. I’m the fun one. The one with the tattoos who you don’t bring home to mom.”

“But where are you getting that from? Is that what women have said about you, or is that your own insecurity?”

He rubs the back of his neck. “Come on, Nixie. You don’t look at me the same way you look at James.”

“You’re definitely different, but that doesn’t mean you’re not the same in your heart.” I squeeze his arm. “You have a lot to offer. You’ve been the best friend I’ve ever had. That’s exactly what you need to be a good boyfriend.”

He side-eyes me. “You mean that? The best friend part?”

I nod. “I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”

He glances out across the park. “Hey, where’s Wilbur?”

My back goes ramrod straight. “He was right there, playing with the chocolate lab.”

My eyes dart around as I spring to my feet. “Wilbur! Here, boy.”

Leo gestures to the left. “You go that way, and I’ll look over here. He probably saw a squirrel and ran into the woods.”

“Wilbur!” I call his name over and over again, furious with myself for not watching him more closely. “Come on, boy. Where are you?”

I search the area, and then Leo’s voice calls from the other side of the park. “He’s here! Nixie, I found him.”

My heart drops to my feet as I take off running in their direction. Leo holds Wilbur in his arms as he licks his face like nothing’s wrong.

“Is he okay? Is he hurt?” I scoop him into my arms and check his body. “What the heck happened?”

“I’m telling you, he must’ve seen something and tried chasing it.”

I clip his leash on his collar and put him on the ground. “Okay, that’s enough dog park for one day.”

I can’t let him out of my sight again.

“Let’s go by Miss Mindy’s on the way home.” Leo slings his arm around my shoulder. “I heard they have puppy treats there.”

“You’re gonna spoil your nephew.”

He grins. “We gotta beef him up if he’s going to be your guard dog.”

“I don’t need a guard dog. I live next door to a family of cops.”

But I might’ve spoken too soon, because later in the afternoon, I find another anonymous envelope sitting in my mailbox.

My hands shake as I unfold the paper. I suck in a breath when I see the detailed sketch of Wilbur playing at the dog park. My stomach churns, and I feel sick.

I groan and rub my forehead. Wilbur paws at my leg, looking up at me as if he’s asking what’s wrong.

“Your dad isn’t gonna be happy, Wilbur.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?”

I grimace. “I’m sorry, okay? I thought it was just a fluke. But then I got this one from the dog park today.”

“Someone sketched a picture of you, Phoenix. This isn’t a fluke. This is purposeful and planned.” James jabs the paper with his finger. “This person is stalking you.”

I place my hand over my chest. “A stalker? Are you serious? But it’s just a couple of pictures.”

“That’s how it starts. Whoever it is knows where you live. They followed you to the park today. Think about it, babe. Who knows where you live?”

“I literally have no idea. My mom and my brother.” I shrug. “I haven’t spoken to anyone else since I got out of Clearview.”

“What about your friend? Does Drew have your address?”

“No.” I pause, chewing my bottom lip. “Plus, he’s still in Clearview.”

James’s eyebrows shoot up. “He’s your friend from the mental health facility? What is he in there for?”

I toy with the hem of my shirt. “Schizophrenia.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose and inhales deeply.

“That doesn’t mean he’s behind this, James. I was in there too, you know. Just because he’s schizophrenic doesn’t mean he’s a stalker.” I hold up the blank envelope. “And this isn’t addressed. There’s no stamp on it. Someone had to have put it in my mailbox. So, it can’t be Drew.”

James nods. “You’re right, I’m sorry. This just really worries me. I don’t like this.”

“Can you take this to the station? Maybe get it checked for fingerprints.”

“We’ve both touched it, so the chances of finding a viable fingerprint are slim. I can try though.” He grabs his keys off the counter. “But I’m going to install some Ring cameras around your house.”

I nod. “Cameras are good. Then we’ll be able to catch who it is.”

“You’re coming with me. I’m not letting you out of my sight until we handle this.”

Adrenaline courses through me. “Do you really think I’m in danger?”

“I don’t know. Anything is possible, and I’m not taking any chances.”

I glance up at him as we walk to the front door. “Is it weird that you’re kind of turning me on right now?”

He smirks. “Now is not the time to get turned on.”

I grip his large bicep. “I can’t help it. I like it when you’re in cop mode.”

He stops on the porch and tips my chin. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you, Phoenix. I’m going to protect you.”

Then he lowers his lips to mine, and I feel the verity of his words throughout every cell in my body.

James spends the rest of the afternoon installing my new cameras—and I spend my afternoon watching him.

I stretch out on the couch. “I missed an opportunity. I feel you should’ve been doing this shirtless.”

He glances over his shoulder as he screws the last camera into place in my living room. “You keep looking at me like that, and you’re the one who’s going to be shirtless.”

I grin. “Maybe we can test out these new cameras after you’re done. See how clear the video is.”

He raises his eyebrows. “You’re not kidding, are you?”

I shake my head. “Not one bit. Just call it research for my book.”

“You’re insatiable, and I love it.”

Just as I’m about to peel off my clothes, my phone buzzes on the coffee table.

My mouth opens. “Oh, shit. It’s Tyler.”

James climbs down from the step stool. “He probably got your letter.”

My heart leaps into my throat. “I wonder what he’s going to say.”

“Only one way to find out.”

I grip his wrist. “Stay with me?”

“I’m right here, baby.” James lowers himself onto the couch and holds one of my hands while I answer the call with the other.

“Hey, Tyler.”

“Hey, Nix. How are you?”

“I’m doing well. How are you guys doing over there?”

“We’re good. I, uh, got your letter. Is this a good time to talk?”

I nod as if he can see me. “Sure.”

Tyler lets out a long sigh, and I hold my breath waiting to hear what he has to say. James squeezes my hand, grounding me to the moment.

Whatever Tyler says isn’t a reflection of my worth.

His feelings are his own, and I tried my best.

“You said in your letter that the reason I moved away was because I wanted to get away from you. That’s not true. I moved away because I had to get away from Mom. I know she treated you much worse than me, but she was still hard on me too. I felt like I had to be perfect, like if I did something she didn’t approve of, then she’d look at me differently and never forgive me. She held me to this impossible standard, and it wasn’t healthy. I was anxious and wound too tight. I hated leaving you with her, but I had to get out.”

I let out the breath I was holding. “I didn’t know you felt that way.”

“I regret not sharing that with you. I think I felt like you had so much on your shoulders that I didn’t want you to feel like you had to worry about me. I was supposed to be the big, strong older brother. In hindsight, I realize it could’ve been something that brought us closer together.” He pauses. “After you tried to kill yourself, Gabby insisted I go to therapy. I’d been through my own trauma growing up with Mom, but it was scary almost losing you like that. I couldn’t stop thinking about it—about you. It made me sick to think about you not being here anymore, and I beat myself up for it for a long time. I felt like there was something more I could’ve done to help you. I should’ve been there for you, been a better brother. I shouldn’t have left you with Mom.”

My eyes widen. “Tyler, what I did had nothing to do with you, or Mom for that matter.”

“Then why did you do it?” His voice lowers. “Why did you do that to yourself?”

“I was in a bad place, and my depression was filling my head with hopelessness. I was detached from reality, and I felt like I had nothing to live for. Like you and Mom would be better off without me.”

“That’s not true, Nix.”

“I know that now. Took me a while to figure it out and get my mental health in check. Clearview really helped.” I smile through my blurry vision. “Thank you for convincing me to go there.”

“I couldn’t leave the hospital until I knew you were going to be in good hands.” He sniffles. “I hated the part in your letter where you said I made you feel like I didn’t give a shit about you. When you were in the hospital, Gabby and I were trying to have a baby, and she had a few miscarriages. Things were really stressful, and I didn’t know how to juggle everything. You deserved more of my time and attention. Then when you got out of Clearview, we were getting used to having a newborn in the house, and our lives were turned upside down. But things are more stable now. I’d like to rebuild what we had when we were kids. We used to be best friends.”

A tear rolls down my cheek. “I’d love that, Tyler. And I don’t expect you to drop everything in your life for me. You went through some really important grown-up shit, and you had every right to be happy and enjoy it. I just want to be a part of that life too.”

“So do I. Gabby and I were talking after I received your letter, and she said we should take a trip to the shore house this summer. Jenna will be a little older, and traveling shouldn’t be too bad. If you’re okay with that idea, of course. I know it’s your house.”

I clamp my hand over my mouth to muffle my sob. “This house will always be yours too, Ty. I’d love for you guys to come visit. I’m dying to meet my niece.”

“I’m sorry about the baptism. It didn’t feel right without you. You should’ve been there.”

“How was Mom?”

Tyler chuckles. “Over the top, as usual. She asked about you.”

“Oh?”

“She asked if I invited you, and I told her exactly what I told you. She acted surprised, as if I was crazy for thinking she’d cause a scene. Sometimes, I wonder if she acts the way she does on purpose, or if she truly can’t help being like this because she’s delusional.”

“I’ll never be able to understand the inner workings of that woman’s mind.”

“Have you spoken to her since you got out of Clearview?”

“No, but I sent her a letter like I did you. I don’t expect a response, but it felt good sending it.”

“I’m proud of you, Nix. I don’t know that I would’ve been able to do that after the way she treated you. I give you a lot of credit.”

I glance over at James and smile. “I have someone in my life who helped me to realize that I should live my life doing the things I want to do, and if people don’t react the way I want them to, then that’s on them. At least I tried.”

“Wow. That’s some grown-ass woman shit right there. You’re not a little kid anymore.”

I laugh. “I haven’t been one for a long time.”

“You’ll always be my little sister though.” Sincerity saturates his voice. “I’m really glad you sent me that letter, Nix. I’ve been wanting to talk to you, but I didn’t know what to say, or how to start. You’ve always been better at words and feelings than I have. I’ve always looked up to you.”

I choke in disbelief. “I’m sorry, what? You—the great Tyler Bridges—looked up to me?”

“It’s true. You have always embraced who you are. You didn’t try to be anyone else. You had depression, and you were open about it. You didn’t let Mom or anyone else sway you.”

I slump back against the couch and blink up at the ceiling. “I… I don’t even know what to say to that.”

“I admire you, Nix. Dad did too. Mom only paid attention to me because she knew she could control me. I had to unpack all of that in therapy too.”

“I’m proud of you for going.”

“So.” I hear amusement in his voice. “Who is this person in your life? Does my little sister have a boyfriend?”

My cheeks heat as I rest my head on James’s shoulder. “Yes. His name is James.”

“And he’s treating you well?”

I close my eyes. “So well.”

“Good. You deserve all the happiness. I’m so glad you’re doing better than when I last saw you.”

“Me too.”

After Tyler and I say goodbye, I can’t fight the surge of emotion that overcomes me. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

“This is because of you, you know.” I press a tender kiss to James’s lips.

“No, it’s because of you.”

“You pushed me to do it.”

“Doesn’t mean shit if you didn’t choose to make that step on your own. You did this. You’re rebuilding your life, and you’re taking control.”

“I like taking control.” I push him backward on the couch and straddle his hips. “Now, let’s test out these cameras.”