City of Boneheads: Epilogue

Bills, bills, bills.

Clary sat in her mom’s apartment, going through a stack of unopened mail addressed to her mom. Even though Mom was now recovering at Luke’s place, she’d continued to receive bills from Valentine’s hospital for all sorts of weird charges. Whenever Clary tried to call the hospital’s customer service number, she got a recording from Valentine saying that due to high call volume they were unable to take her call, and she should try back at a later time.

A horn honked outside the window, and Clary looked out and saw Simon in his car. Clary had felt a little bad calling Simon just to ask for a ride to the Institute, but then she thought about the eight dollars she’d save by not taking an Uber and felt great about it.

Clary hadn’t been to the Institute since the visit to Valentine’s hospital. She’d spent the week since then getting her mom’s apartment ready so they could start raking in the cash on Airbnb. Now, finally, the place had been cleaned and furnished, and a bunch of fake reviews had been posted. Clary grabbed her suitcase and headed out to Simon’s car.

When they arrived at the Institute, Simon turned to Clary.

“So I was thinking,” said Simon, “since Jace turned out to be your brother, maybe you and I could, you know…um…”

“…go get sushi at Nazakawa?” Sushi Nazakawa was one of NY’s best sushi places, but it cost like $250 to eat there.

“Yeah, sounds fun!” said Simon. “Pick you up at 8.”

God I’m good, thought Clary, as she got out of the car and headed up the front walk toward the Institute.

Clary was wheeling her suitcase down the hall when Isabelle emerged from the kitchen. She spotted Clary and her face filled with joy.

“Clary!” she shouted, and she gave Clary a giant bear hug.

“Hey, Izzy!” said Clary.

“Omigod, I heard about everything that happened at the hospital,” said Isabelle. “Crazy! Why didn’t you guys tell me you were going? I would’ve totally come with you!”

“We couldn’t tell you because there can only be one strong female character in the climactic scene of the book,” said Clary. “If you had been there, female readers would’ve been confused whom to identify with.”

“Totally understandable,” said Isabelle. She knew she’d get a chance to do more in the crappy Isabelle Stories minibook that’d be released to cash in when this book got popular.

“So where’s Alec?” said Clary. “I heard he’s almost totally recovered!”

“In his room,” said Isabelle.

Clary ran across the hall to Alec’s room and opened the door.

“Wait!” said Isabelle. But it was too late, and Clary walked in on Alec in bed with Luke.

“My bad,” said Clary, covering her eyes and backing out of the room. “Ew!” she whispered to Isabelle, trying to get the visual of a naked werewolf out of her head. “Can’t they get a hotel room or something?”

“Actually, they can’t. The only state where hotels allow werewolves is North Dakota.”

At the end of the hall Jace appeared, carrying a large box. When he saw Clary he dropped the box and ran toward her, and she leapt into his arms. Everything else melted away for Clary as she felt Jace’s lips move toward hers…

Whoa, what are we doing?” said Clary, snapping out of it.

“Yikes,” said Jace, dropping her and moving several feet away.

“It’s good to see you, though,” said Clary. She noticed the box was full of clothes. “Are you moving?”

“Yep, but not far,” said Jace. “I’m taking over Hodge’s room since he’s no longer here.”

What?” said Isabelle. “No fair! His room is twice as big as any of ours!”

Jace shrugged. “I called it first.”

“Then you’re paying a double share of the rent!” shouted Alec from his bedroom.

And I get to use one of your closets,” said Isabelle.

“Fine, but not the walk-in,” said Jace.

“Which walk-in? There are two.”

“You know, the one with the double doors—”

“Can you guys maybe figure this out later?” said Clary.

“Good idea,” said Jace. “Because right now, I have a surprise to show you.”

He grabbed Clary’s hand and took her upstairs. She thought they might be going to the greenhouse, but when they reached the top of the stairs they went out a side door and emerged on the uncovered part of the roof.

“Whoa,” said Clary.

Sitting in the middle of the roof was the vampire motorcycle they’d crashed, but now it was completely repaired and gleamed gorgeously in the sunlight.

“How’d it get fixed so fast?” said Clary.

“Turns out there are tramp stamps for motorcycle repairs,” said Jace. “Wanna take a ride?”

“No thanks, I’d rather not risk my life again.”

“Oh, I almost forgot the second part of the surprise,” said Jace. He took out his wallet and showed Clary a vampire cycle driver’s license.

“Ever since the accident, I’ve been secretly taking driver’s ed,” he said.

“Congrats!” said Clary. “So where should we go?”

“That, sis, is the third and final part of the surprise.”

He handed her an envelope, and she opened it to reveal two tickets to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

“But we can’t go here,” said Clary. “We might run into Dad!”

“Look at the tickets again,” said Jace.

She did, and saw they said “The Wizarding World – Idris.”

“There’s a Harry Potter World in Idris?” said Clary.

“It just opened,” said Jace. “I booked us two nights at the Hogwarts Hotel!”

“Geez, all this must be expensive.”

“Doesn’t matter to me,” said Jace. “Simon paid for it.”


“I told him that if he paid for our sibling vacation to Idris, that just might be the thing that gets you to hook up with him.”

Clary smiled. “I guess knowing how to manipulate losers runs in the family.”

Jace laughed, got onto the bike, and started the engine. Clary climbed on behind him, and they flew off toward the setting sun and an inevitable sequel.


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