Maya and I keep up our tradition of Wine Wednesdays. We sip from white wine a la box, which is a classy affair when paired with our plastic wine glasses, two pounds of fried chicken, and French fries. The whole girls’ night wouldn’t be complete without a grand finale of Hershey’s chocolate.
“This is American dining at its finest.” I groan at the best chicken I’ve had on this side of Europe.
Maya nods along with me. “I only get the best for us.”
“What do you think of the wine? I’m getting a good one-year-old vibe here.” I swish around the contents in my glass and sniff like I know what to smell for.
She picks up the box and analyzes the contents. “It tastes like a bad hangover in the making. Why did you suggest this anyway? There are way better options.”
“I felt like it symbolized being young, dumb, and broke. But now I’m not so sure.”
“Except you’re not dumb, or even broke for that matter.”
I roll my eyes. “Because 8,000 euros will get me really far in life.”
She taps her glass to mine. “So, catch me up on everything between you and Liam.”
“Besides the fact that we did the dirty?”
Maya faces me. “You’ve been holding out on me again!”
“You’ve been busy with your vlog and avoiding Noah, so I didn’t want to make it worse for you. But we had sex and I orgasmed multiple times. The whole thing was amazing so I hope my heart doesn’t get hurt in the process because that would suck.” I tend to suffer from word vomit around Maya.
I take a few sips from my glass of wine while she processes everything. Some people need liquid courage, but I need liquid wisdom because I suck at making decisions lately.
She tilts her head at me. “Why do you think you’ll get hurt?”
“Because I did exactly what you warned me about and started liking him for real?”
Maya shakes her head. Her look of pity reminds me how deep I’m falling, proving how I’m no better than any of the other girls Liam’s been with. I sympathize with them. Okay, more like everyone except Claudia.
“When did you figure this out?”
I think back to last week after he won the Hungarian Prix. “Probably around the fifth time we had sex. It took everything in me to leave his bed and go back to my hotel room. My heart hurt at the idea of him not caring if I left.”
“Oh, no. And did he let you go?”
“No, he cuddles better than a weighted blanket. Snug, warm, and secure.” I hug my glass of wine to demonstrate.
“Have you tried to tell him how you feel?”
My eyes narrow at her. “No way in hell because I’ve learned from Liam’s exes of past and present. Claudia was the biggest exposure therapy, showing me exactly what happens to women who fall into Liam’s love-nest trap. They become bitter and sad while begging for scraps.”
“Well, I know what you need to do.” She puts down her wine glass and clasps her hands together.
“Free therapy and wine, what more can I ask for?”
She offers me a small smile. “You need to be yourself and enjoy the time you have together.”
“How can you count that as advice? That doesn’t exactly help me once it’s over.”
“You’re assuming it may end between you two. What if he feels the same?” Maya looks at me with hopeful brown eyes.
“He doesn’t. Liam never fails to voice his love for his career and how busy he gets. There’s not a week that goes by when he doesn’t mention how little time he has to commit to anything more than a basic intimate relationship. So, all naughty things must come to an end.”
Maya laughs into her wine glass. I don’t want to ruin our girls’ night, so I swallow my feelings and chase them down with wine and chicken tenders.
“Do you understand how disappointed I feel not attending Oktoberfest this year? I’m only young once,” I whine.
The German Grand Prix occurs in July, which means my dreams of beers and Liam in a lederhosen outfit are squashed. Liam and Jax chuckle like I’m cheeky and adorable. Maya bounces around the McCoy garage as she prepares to film another vlog interview with Jax. Liam and I stand off to the side so they have space to work, not bothering them with our usual shenanigans.
“You act like I’m not from here. We could go to Oktoberfest whenever.” Liam mentions the future casually like we will still be friends. Why does the thought make my heart beat against my chest like a speaker at a techno club?
“But I wanted to go this year. I want to buy an outfit, chug a beer, and drunkenly sing German songs I don’t understand.”
Liam roars with laughter, causing Maya and Jax’s heads to snap in our direction.
His eyes sparkle. “You can always save the outfit for me. Let’s buy one today and do a little role play.”
I let out a soft laugh. “Cut it out. You’re distracting the talent.”
“Hey, I’m half the talent around here.” His waggled brows and boyish grin add to his allure, hitting me with a sense of dizziness.
“Do you typically lay the charm on this thick? I’m wondering if I’m becoming immune to your advances.”
“I don’t know, want to test it out?” He brushes his knuckles across my cheeks. “My room tonight. I have another item for us to complete.”
Blush moves from my chest to my cheeks, my body blending into my Bandini T-shirt.
“All right, you two. Quiet on the set.” Maya’s words kill our conversation.
Maya and Jax film the interview. Jax gives an exclusive peek at his McCoy car, minus the secretive steering wheel. Maya asks lots of professional questions while Liam and I watch from the sidelines. Liam tries to distract me multiple times with a few soft kisses, but I push him away once Jax laughs at us. After twenty minutes, Maya wraps up.
“Don’t forget about my party tomorrow. Be at my parents’ house around 7 p.m.” Liam rubs the back of his neck.
“How can we forget. It’s the big boy’s twenty-ninth birthday celebration.” Maya claps her hands together.
Liam tilts his head at Maya. “Yeah. Noah and Santi told me they can’t make it because of some exclusive Bandini boy’s social event. So, no excuse for you.”
“How come I don’t get threatened?” I look straight into Liam’s eyes.
“It’s already a given that you’re going. My family won’t stop talking about meeting my new friend.”
That F word is becoming my least favorite. The way my chest pinches at the sound of it reminds me how I really need to get myself in check.
Maya drags me to the pre-race press conference since Santi is on the panel. Liam sits straighter now that I stand in a corner, prompting me to send him a GIF of Leslie Knope fake laughing during a press meeting. I dangle my phone in front and tap the screen to get his attention.
He peeks at his phone while a reporter asks a question to Santi, hiding his laugh behind a cough. I don’t know how they spend an hour up there, having question after question hammered at them.
“Noah, you’ve been fighting to remain at the top of the Championship ranking. Any reason behind some of the slipups? It looks like Liam is catching up to your points.”
Maya gives me a heavy dose of side-eye.
Noah rolls his eyes. “Liam’s been my competition since we drank juice boxes instead of champagne bottles. So, I’m not surprised he’s been closing in on me.”
Another reporter jumps in. “Liam, any concerns with this Grand Prix being your home race?”
“Concerns? Not really, no. At least nothing more than the usual pre-race nerves, but I’m confident I can win. I have to watch out for these two, though.” He makes a fist before spreading out his fingers and making a soft explosion sound.
I cover my mouth with my hand to muffle my laugh.
“Liam, another one for you. It’s been brought to the public’s attention that you’re dating a woman inside of the F1 organization. How does McCoy feel about you dating someone in the industry after everything that happened with Claudia?”
With everything in me, I resist escaping the room. At least they keep my name out of the question because my dad would murder me before sending my body bag on a flight back to Milan.
“It’s not polite to bring up people’s exes, so no comment. I would’ve hoped your mom had taught you better than that.”
“How do reporters get these inside stories?” I whisper to Maya.
She lifts her shoulders. “No idea. I mean there’s nothing wrong with dating someone here, but I’m guessing for him it’s not a good look.”
I swallow back my nerves. The reporter smooths over his comb-over before fidgeting with his mic. A few reporters around him shake their heads, trying to discourage him.
“I’m wondering if McCoy’s worried you have an opposing team insider warming your bed.”
Earth, I wouldn’t mind falling into a sinkhole. I fidget with a loose thread on my shorts, tugging on the strings to hide my shaking fingers.
“I don’t need to sleep with someone to do my job well or negotiate a contract. I’m done commenting on these types of questions so leave my personal life out of this.” Liam’s eyes find mine once I glance up. I don’t think he likes what he sees based on how his frown deepens.
I stick it out for the rest of the conference because I don’t need to show my embarrassment or guilt. Liam and I aren’t serious, so it’ll all disappear after the season’s over and he finds someone else.
The idea eats away at me as I head to my favorite spot. Liam finds me soon after the conference, knowing my preference for the F1 Corp’s deck spot.
“I’m sorry. Thank fuck they didn’t say your name.” He tucks a stray curl of my hair behind my ear, a sweet gesture I’ve come to love.
Like. Come to like.
“It’s okay. That’s probably the most action that reporter’s gotten all year.” I scrunch my nose.
Liam lets out a rare nervous laugh. “Right. But seriously, you’re okay with this?”
“Sure. But we need to be more careful because my dad is already annoyed with me. Eventually you’ll get a new contract and I’ll go home, and everyone will move on to other stories once the season ends. There’ll be no more warming beds for this insider.”
He fails to grin, lacking any humor in his eyes, giving me absolutely nothing to go on. I don’t want to overthink anything about us because it usually gets me into some sort of trouble. But could Liam want more too? I can’t decide between optimism and skepticism.
Hopefulness is like smoke, dissipating at a moment’s notice. No matter how hard I clutch onto the idea of Liam and me, there’ll always be someone waiting in the shadows, biding their time before ripping away my faith.
I accepted heartbreak the moment Liam threw me on his bed, grinning at me like I was part of his world. Stupid me for adding an invisible item when I handed over my list to Liam.
Get my heart broken.
My heart thumps along with my knuckles as I knock on Liam’s hotel room door. He opens up in nothing more than a white towel around his waist with water dripping down the ridges of his abs, tempting my tongue to lick the droplets.
Liam smirks at me as he opens the door wider, giving me room to enter. He grabs the list from a nearby table before I have a chance to make myself at home.
“I’ve been thinking about this all day.” He drags me toward the bedroom, anticipation eating away my nervousness.
My chest feels tight and hot. “I wonder if you’re worth the millions they pay you. If only fans knew how much you daydream.”
“At least I get to turn my dreams into a reality.” He shoots me a dazzling smile before he disappears into his walk-in closet.
“Well. Shit.” Yup. At least I got two words out.
Liam comes out of the closet carrying a tie. I walk up to him. He starts to protest, but I brush my index fingers against his mouth.
“Nope. I get to call the shots now.” I take my confidence and run with it.
His eyes expand a fraction before his lips tug into a smile and he throws the tie onto the bed. My hands explore the stiff muscles on his stomach, his skin feeling smooth and warm beneath my palms. Liam’s chest tremors at my touch. I smile, enjoying the reactions I pull from him.
My hands work to undo his towel, the damp material falling to the carpet with a thud. Liam’s dick springs free, tempting me as I run my hand across the smooth flesh. I lick my lips as I lower myself to the ground. The sound of Liam’s ragged breathing sends a rush of excitement through me, feeding my courage. He brings out a seductress in me I fail to recognize.
A bead of pre-cum escapes his tip. Liam groans as I lick him, with power coursing through me from making him weak. Men like him don’t bend often, but when they do, it’s glorious and thrilling.
“Are you going to stare at my dick or suck it?”
I look up at him, finding humor in his eyes as he winks at me. Our eyes stay connected as I pull him into my mouth. His lips form an O, which is all the reinforcement I need to get going. I lick him from base to tip in a zigzag pattern, his salty taste coating my tongue as I switch between sucking and licking.
“Fuck. You have a wicked mouth.”
I smile around his dick. He’s a man of few yet meaningful words.
One of my hands massages his balls while I suck his cock. I’m addicted to the taste of him and the sounds coming from his mouth, of the labored breaths he lets out when I softly graze my teeth against his shaft. It invigorates me to make someone like Liam helpless to lust.
“Fuck. Do that again.”
I tease him with my tongue, keeping to a lazy pace, in no rush to have him come because I enjoy hearing his occasional groans all too much.
Liam is practically panting minutes later. “Sophie, if you don’t want me to come in your mouth, stop now. But really, I don’t want you to. Just so you know.”
I laugh at his warning, my throat vibrating around his dick. Despite never swallowing before, I have no interest in stopping, instead choosing to lock eyes with the man who makes me feel all sorts of emotions.
Liam’s last resolve snaps as he takes control. His hand finds my hair and he tugs my head up and down his dick, fucking my mouth with reckless abandon. My eyes prick with tears and I love every second, his desperation for release fueling my willingness to comply. A groan of pleasure escapes his mouth as his head falls back.
His dick twitches as I suck down his release. I welcome it, craving more, high on lust and happiness because I want anything and everything Liam gives me. His fingers let go of my head once he finishes pumping into me.
He pulls me up and kisses me relentlessly, branding me from the inside out, stamping a hot iron to my heart with his initials. And like hot metal, it hurts like a bitch to know I want what I can’t have.
Liam gives me no time to collect myself as he pushes me toward the bed. I collapse onto it, enthusiastic and ready for anything. A smug smile crosses his lips as he stares down at me.
I tap my lips with my index finger. “Are you just going to stare at me all night or…?”
His nostrils flare at my taunt. “I’m deciding what item I’m going to knock off first.”
“This evening got a whole lot more interesting.”
“I know you’re an eager woman who wants to mark off many items in a short amount of time. So, I have some plans.”
Blood rushes to my ears, my heartbeat posing as a temporary hearing problem. “Should I be embarrassed that it turns me on to hear you talking about plans?”
He lets out the softest laugh. “First, let’s get rid of your clothes.”
Liam doesn’t need to ask me twice. One sandal flies toward a corner of the room while the other lands on the dresser. He chuckles at my enthusiasm but doesn’t lift a finger, watching me with crossed arms. My dress goes flying somewhere while my bra and panties find the same fate, lost somewhere in the dark. I lie against the pillows and wait. I’m not exactly sure where I found my confidence, but I’m not opposed to it.
He smiles while shaking his head. “Is someone excited?”
I bob my head up and down. He turns his back toward me as he pulls out something silky from the nightstand.
“Ah, be blindfolded. This is exciting,” my voice rasps.
“We both know you get just as excited about crossing off items on your list as you do about completing them.”
No use disagreeing because I love the idea of knocking off items with Liam. It’s our type of foreplay. “I’d like to thank my horny, lonely self for getting drunk and exploring sexy bucket lists at 2 a.m. on a Saturday. My pending orgasms are forever grateful.”
“I’m seriously wondering why I didn’t buy a gag too.”
“Shut up. You love my ramblings.”
Ugh, Sophie. Not the L-word again.
Liam’s penetrating gaze is the last thing I see before he covers my eyes with the blindfold. If I die today, what a final sight to remember. I’m willing to sacrifice myself for the cause. The search for the best orgasm sounds like an epic way to go, possibly becoming my tombstone statement.
Liam pushes my head back on the pillows. “Senses are a funny thing. You take out two, it heightens the rest.” He grabs my wrists and wraps them up with what I assume is the tie he threw on the bed earlier. The knot is tight enough for my hands to not get loose, but not enough to hurt me. Looks like Liam wants to knock out get tied up, as well.
I test it once and am met with resistance. “Were you a Boy Scout before? That’s one good knot.”
“Nope. I preferred the kids’ book club.”
I sigh. “Only you could make being a member of a book club sound sexy.”
He closes the gap, his familiar scent enveloping me. Something makes a metallic clanking noise off to the side before Liam’s body slides down mine, tracing the contours of my body with warm kisses. When he reaches the area begging for his attention, I get hit with an ice-cold kiss.
Literally, ice cold.
Damn, I nearly forgot about Try foreplay with ice. With any other man, I wouldn’t find this sexy, the chilly feeling prompting my ass to lift off the bed. But somehow everything with Liam feels good. Warm fingers reach my aching places, giving way to some relief before his cold tongue finds my clit. It pulses with want as he sucks. His tongue brushes against me, lazily tracing circles.
“Holy shit. Are you for real right now?” My words morph into a moan.
The heat from my body melts the ice cube as Liam licks me with ruthlessness. His tongue is built for sin, running over my entrance before plunging inside of me. Pressure builds within me like a ticking bomb to the beat of my heart. Not being able to see or touch anything makes me attuned to everything else: my breathing, his touch, the coolness where his tongue lingers.
“I’ll take that as a good thing.” His rumble of a laugh vibrates against my clit, my spine prickling at the pressure swirling inside of me.
“I’m not even jealous of the girls you’ve been with before. I should send them thank-you cards.”
He slaps my core with the palm of his hand. My clit throbs, leaving me a needy mess at the sensation.
“Don’t bring anyone up. While you’re traveling with us, you’re mine. The fucking end. Do you have a problem with that?”
The blindfold blocks me from seeing his face, but the edginess in his voice tells me enough. I struggle to come to terms with his words. They remind me of our expiration date, of him slowly becoming my everything while I’m his temporary distraction. But like with everything, Liam doesn’t let me off easy, running the pad of his thumb against my clit, applying the slightest pressure. And like that, he banishes the negative thoughts as he pulls me back into the moment.
“Last time I checked, I blindfolded you, not gagged you. What do you have to say?”
Another brush of his icy tongue has me rising off the bed, leaving me panting for more. His hand holds me down while he waits for an answer.
“Whatever you want. Anything, everything. Past, present, future. Please.” I can’t think, let alone form the coherent sentences he wants. My hips shimmy and beg for his touch again.
Liam laughs, dismissing his agitation as his tongue plunges inside of me. Calloused hands part my legs more, opening me up to him. The sensations overwhelm me. His hands brush against my thighs, making my skin flush. The blindfold blocks me from seeing him touch me, lick me, fucking own me. He teases me like I’m the best fucking thing, and damn if I don’t feel that way around him.
“If these are the benefits friends have, I wish I had signed up months ago.”
“I told you, but you’re too stubborn.” He returns back to his task.
I wouldn’t change what we did for the world—our closeness, the way he makes my heart clench and race all at once, the foundation we’ve built over time. My orgasm rips through me. Shudders course through my body at his caring touch.
My body crashes and burns, simmering down once my high disappears. An ice cube makes a return appearance. Liam trails wet kisses up my stomach, goosebumps breaking out. His tongue traces meaningless lines around my breast before his cold tongue flicks across one of my nipples. My back arches at the touch.
“It’s too much.” Three breathy words leave my lips in a hoarse whisper.
His mouth pulls away from my nipple. “Want me to stop?” He traces his fingers down my body.
“No! Finish what you started. I didn’t peg you for a quitter.”
Liam chuckles as he continues his torment on my body. He fails to leave an area untouched, unkissed, or unlicked as he maps out my body like he promised all those months ago. His lips return to mine as he rocks his hard length into me. The smoothness of his dick brushing against my naked center pulls another moan from me, prompting my hips to grind into him.
“Fuck, Sophie. No one knows how naughty you really are behind those braids and dimples. I love the sounds you make. But I especially love knowing they’re just for me.”
My heart throbs at his use of the L-word. I ignore it, afraid to inquire more about his feelings. “Are you a possessive type?” My voice croaks as his fingers grip my waist tightly.
“With you? Yes.”
I moan as he rolls his hips into me again. His lips find my neck and he sucks and nibbles on the sensitive area.
I laugh as I shake my head side to side. “Stop. You’re going to give me a hickey. I don’t want to meet your parents like that.”
“Doubt they’d mind.” He grazes his teeth against the hollow part and my body shakes at the sensation. I push at him with my body since my hands still remain attached to the headboard, useless when all I want to do is touch him back. His lips pull away from my neck.
His hand cup my cheeks and I smile in the general direction of him.
“You’re so beautiful.” His simple sentence means the world to me. And it scares me to death, the way his words wrap around my heart and grip onto me.
Liam tugs the blindfold off, revealing his wicked grin. I smile and wiggle my tied-up fingers at him.
He shakes his head side to side. “As much as I’d love your hands all over me, I think tonight will play out differently.”
I nod along. With expert agility, Liam flips me over. My head sinks into a pillow before I turn my face and watch him sheath himself with a condom. He settles behind my spread legs. Blood rushes through my body, courtesy of my racing heart. His fingers grip my stomach and lift me onto my knees. My elbows support some of my weight while Liam carries most of it, his hands pressing into my skin.
“Are you ready to fall?”
I freeze, not sure if he means the same thing.
He brushes my hair to the side, hitting me with a stunning smile. “I’m ready to drag you to hell before returning you back to heaven where you belong.”
Right. Not the same falling. He kisses the base of my spine, tracing some of the bones with his tongue.
Liam runs the tip of his dick across the seam of my center. “God. Look how sexy you are, waiting for me. Tied up like a present for me to unwrap.” He pulls me closer to him, causing the tie to tug against the headboard. My neck turns, giving me a better look at him, his blue eyes finding mine. We remain entranced as he sinks into me. My teeth bite down on my bottom lip to suppress a moan, the feel of him one I have yet to get used to.
Liam groans once he completely sits inside of me, his hands gripping my hips in a stronghold. My heart melts when he leans over and places a kiss on my shoulder. I want to relive this moment on repeat, the look of him tipping his head back as he thrusts in and out of me. His groans mix with my moans of pleasure.
This thing between us isn’t only a benefit. It’s not some cheap label placed on a growing relationship out of fear of the consequences. Not for me, at least. So, I show him with my body instead of words, giving him every part of me.
One of Liam’s hands leaves my hip to wrap around my hair, the blonde strands running through his tight grip. I keep my eyes on him.
“Fuck. You feel so good, Sophie.”
Why do things that feel amazing hurt us the most? I don’t have time to answer my own question. Liam increases his pace, bringing him and me to the brink of pleasure, my climax exploding along with any last defense I have against him.
