My body was covered in chills as I felt the last of the most powerful orgasm yet rip through me. Everything was throbbing, awake, and alive.
It seemed apparent that I hadn’t lost my drive; I’d just been with the wrong man. Women were emotional creatures, and the emotional connection that Warren and I once had was long gone, so all the hormone supplements I’d been taking to regain my libido were a waste of time.
I felt now, more than ever, that my love for Cameron had never subsided. It just faded into a black abyss, where all my hope for ever having a future with the man had gone after he left me. But our souls apparently saw it differently. After having this man inside me, seeing his transfixed eyes as he went over the edge in absolute ecstasy, it told me that this was right, we were right. And as Cam’s lips kissed tenderly along my neck and over the base of my throat, I felt complete.
“I love you,” Cam whispered, his lips on my chin as he continued to move his softening dick slowly inside of me. “You feel amazing.”
I ran my fingertips over his shoulders and the lines of his muscular arms. “You don’t feel too bad yourself,” I teased with a lazy laugh.
His body shuddered when my fingernails ran down his sides, exploring the man’s perfect body.
The rain was pounding outside, and everything felt so cozy and right. There were no regrets, no worries, and no concerns. It was just Cam and me, renewing a love that was once dead and gone.
“Fuck!” Cam moved away as if my body had electrocuted him. “God, I am so sorry,” he said, rolling onto his back and covering his eyes with his hand.
“Did I miss something?” I questioned, perplexed.
“No condom,” he said as he held both hands over his face.
“Well, you promised to love me, and I think you might have even proposed marriage at one point while you reached the second orgasm.” I frowned in concentration as his shocked eyes met mine, “Yeah, that was it. It was the second time you came. That’s when the proposal happened.”
“Jessa,” he said, exhaling, “you’re not freaked out by that?”
“I should be,” I shrugged. Maybe I was high from having so many orgasms in a row. I didn’t know, but I was giddy as fuck. “I think you’re freaking out enough for the both of us, though.”
He rubbed his forehead, staring up at the ceiling. “If you get pregnant again…” He closed his eyes and pinched his lips.
“What’s the matter, Dr. Brandt? Are you scared?” I teased.
I’d taken birth control pills religiously since Jackson was born, and I had no reason to believe they’d fail me now. Besides, I didn’t have the emotional capacity to worry about something that wasn’t a guaranteed issue. I had enough real problems without inventing problematic scenarios and worrying about them.
I felt happy for the first time in a long time, and I loved this feeling. I loved feeling unafraid and just fucking delighted. I had to hang onto this for as long as the feeling stayed with me.
He looked at me, and a smile turned on one corner of his mouth. “Far from scared, beautiful,” he said as he turned on his side to face me, his cock becoming firm with the movement alone.
I bit down on my bottom lip, seeing the length of his beautiful dick, the one thing that rocked me right over the edge without help from anything else. Yes, I’d been with a few men before and after Cameron, and no, they couldn’t bring me to orgasm like he could.
His fingers ran over my hips as I lay there, facing him. My sex spasmed, and I smiled, watching his cock return to attention.
“Miss him?” Cam said, having always referred to his dick as another person.
I nodded, and my eyes met his. “More than I knew,” I said, arching an eyebrow at him, feeling his hand move over my ass and pulling me closer to him.
“That’s not surprising. I’m fairly confident nothing has been able to take his place,” he said with a laugh and a lingering kiss on my nose.
“Well, I wouldn’t say that.” Hell no. I wasn’t giving him this much this fast.
“Oh?”
“Oh, is right. Mr. Lucky-Dick has had some stiff competition,” I said, widening my eyes in humor.
Cameron’s eyes narrowed. “Then I suppose you and I will be on this yacht an entire week, not leaving this room until I’m assured all this competition, which I was foolish enough to allow, has been erased from your memory, and you become obsessed with me again.”
Cam and I always had fun together, doing the stupidest shit, laughing, and not taking everything seriously. I always felt young and fearless with him, and I loved having these feelings returning to me again.
Most couples’ post-coital pillow talk wouldn’t consist of their previous sexual dalliances, but this was Cam and me. The best part was wondering if the other was being serious or just fucking around, and with Cam, he was always fucking around.
I laughed at his eyes as they studied mine. “I don’t know,” I said, my eyes wandering to the corner of the room, “I got pretty creative after you left for that other college.”
He propped his hand up and rested his head against his palm. “Pretty creative, eh?”
“Yup,” I said with a smack of my lips, “I had an orgasm so wild, I was seeing stars.” I laughed at how stupid that sounded.
Cameron licked his lips. “Really?” His eyes grew hungry. His dick was at full attention as he settled himself between my legs again. “Time to up that game, baby,” he said, his eyes fixed with purpose.
At some point, we were going to have to discuss where the fuck we were going to take everything from here, but right now, I just wanted to feel these feelings with my Cam again. And with Cam, more rounds always equaled better sex.
The sound of a phone buzzing in the room made my body jerk awake.
“Oh shit!” I said, my heart pounding, having absolutely no sense of time. “No, no, no,” I chanted as I shot out of bed, nearly running into the sliding glass doors to my right.
“Jessa,” Cam said, coming out from nowhere. I covered my heart and jumped back in my panicked state.
“Jesus! Say something before you just manifest from thin air.” I ran a clammy palm over my forehead. “How long have we been here?”
He’d just taken a shower. His hair was wet, and a white towel was wrapped perfectly around his waist.
Damn, you’re so fucking hot! I thought.
“Nope, not going there.” I held my finger up. “We’re not having another round. I have to find Jacks, and I need to find my goddamn phone,” I said in frustration, totally fucking out of it.
Cameron pinched his lips, then licked them in the Cameron-style of maintaining his composure while I was losing my shit. Jacks was most likely looking for me, and, of course, he would find me with his doctor.
Shit, this is not good.
Cam walked over to show me it was his phone that was blowing up. He waved the phone at me. “I’m on a group chat with the dipshits on this yacht,” he said, looking at his phone. “They’re blowing it up because you and I went missing about two hours ago.” Then, he laughed, “Collin and Jake have bets going like the dumbasses they are.”
I knew my eyes were bulging out of my head. “Well, isn’t this just super?” I said, finding my shirt had fallen to the floor. I picked it up and pulled it back on, “Where are the rest of my damn clothes?”
Cameron let out another laugh.
“You think this is funny?” I questioned, angrier than a wet hornet.
“I think you’re the most adorable, sexy woman I have ever known.” He leaned against the desk that was situated across the room. His arms were crossed as he watched me fidget with my jeans, struggling to think. “Jacks texted,” he said casually, and I froze. “It’s what woke me up after I dozed off, holding you in my arms.”
“What did he say? He’s probably blowing my phone up.”
“He mentioned he wanted flying lessons or something like that.” Cameron shrugged, “I texted him back and said it was up to you. Then we went back and forth.” He tilted his head to the side while all my panicked movements stopped, and I suddenly felt like I could dress without hurting myself.
“You went back and forth?” I said with a half-smile.
I loved to see this look on his face. He looked so youthful—happy—like everything was right in his world.
He nodded. “Uh, huh,” he said, putting his phone on the desk and crossing his arms. “We got to texting about some plays that badass quarterbacks such as ourselves, make in the game.”
I smiled, “I find it lovely that the two of you hit it off like you did, you know?”
He rose from where he leaned against the desk. He crossed the room, and then I was in his arms, and he kissed my forehead. Then, he pulled back to where his eyes could meet mine, “I find it astounding that he pulled off a quarterback sneak play that I thought only I knew.”
“Which is?” I asked. Cameron’s eyes were focused on me, but I could tell his mind and heart were with the conversation he and Jacks had on text.
“It’s the one where the defense is ready to blitz after the snap, and instead of me trying to jump on the line and get the extra yard for the touchdown, I took the snap, flipped it to the running back, and he ran it in for the first down or touchdown.”
I laughed. “I know which one you’re talking about. He ran that in double overtime last season. They scored and won the game.”
“Absolutely inspiring,” he said with a laugh. “Unfortunately, I had to crush the kid’s ego by mentioning I’d run the same damn play.”
I chuckled, “Yeah, I think Jacks figured he made that play up.”
He looked at me, his striking blue eyes glittering with excitement. “So strange how genetics work. You know?”
“I agree,” I said. “There have been many times where I’ve seen you in him out on that field.”
His face grew sad. “I hate that I’ve missed so much.” He shook his head as soon as my mouth dropped open to protest, “No, I understand why, but I still hate it. And I hate that I walked away from you.” His hand tenderly ran along my jawline, “I fucking walked away, allowing who knows how many men to come into your life and pretend that they could love you as much as I did and will.”
“I think we can make up for that,” I smiled at him. “We will.”
He grinned. “You bet your sexy little ass we will.” He kissed my nose, “As much as I want you and Jacks to enjoy the rest of your time on this yacht over the next week, I’d think it would be nice if you both came back with me tomorrow. No pressure, but I wanted you to know how I feel.”
“Well, I hadn’t decided what we would do yet.” I covered my eyes, “Shit! How are we supposed to tell Jacks any of this?”
“What, that I’m his father, and I’m the reason he’s a little badass?” He ran his hands up my back reassuringly, “Or that his mother is fucking his brain surgeon?”
I rolled my eyes, “Turns out, both things may need to be discussed since they equally relate and hold significant value in his life.”
“Why don’t we go with the flow?” he suggested. “There’s a lot to consider with the surgery. His rehab will be a process as it is, and we need him in high spirits, with no distractions. I would suggest not giving him any added concerns regarding his doctor being his biological father and his mother giving his dad second chances after he fucked it up the first time.”
“You don’t know Jacks, though, Cam,” I argued. “This kid has a hopeful heart of gold. He’s the most selfless kid I know. He’s so positive about everything.”
I brushed his finger over the top of my nose and smiled. “Like his mother,” he bent and kissed my forehead, “however, I see a lot of myself in that boy, and when it came to my mother, I was extremely protective.”
“Yeah, well, as you just said, Jacks has my blood running through his veins, too,” I said with a smile.
He shook his head. “I see how he is with you,” he smiled. “He loves his mother very much, and if he learns I hurt you, he may not trust me with the surgery, Jessa. I’m not sure I want to take that chance.”
I stepped back away from Cameron, suddenly stressed about this predicament.
“Why can’t things just be normal? For Jacks? For me?” I said mainly to myself, walking towards the sliding glass windows.
I folded my arms and leaned my forehead against the window, staring out at the vast ocean. Why couldn’t anything in my life be fucking easy? I got a taste of living carefree and happy for a couple of hours with Cameron. It was heavenly and blissful, probably the only reason I dozed off and woke up, forgetting where I was.
I needed that. I needed to let go and live dangerously, and for the first time in sixteen years, I needed to feel this man’s loving attention.
And now, there was another fucking mountain I did not want to climb.
Cam’s arms went around my waist, and I felt the warmth of his bare chest against my back as he leaned over me, his lips pressed onto the top of my head. “We’ll manage this together, Jessa, but I don’t want to stress out Jacks about anything. I may be wrong in my assumption of his reactions to our history and present situation, but if I’m not—I don’t want to find out what happens if I’m right.”
“I understand,” I answered, letting my head fall back against his chest. “One thing at a time.” I let out a breath, thankful I was in his strong arms and feeling the love he kept professing to me. “I’m glad I have you back. I’ve missed you more than I knew.”
His embrace was tighter around me. “I will never hurt you again. Let’s work together to get our son healthy, and we’ll worry about making announcements later.”
I inhaled deeply. “I love hearing you say our son,” I said, rubbing my hands over his forearms.
“I love saying it,” he said. “I know this will sound cheesy as fuck, but the truth is that I feel like I’m whole now. I have my family. This is the most unexplainable feeling in the entire world.”
I wanted to add to what Cam said but staying silent felt right. I knew exactly what he was saying. I probably felt it more than he did. Many nights I’d cried myself to sleep, wishing I’d had him in my and Jackson’s life. One of them being the night Jacks was born. I would’ve given anything to see the look on Cam’s face when his newborn son was placed in his arms.
There were many things I’d found myself wanting Cam to be there for, but I permanently moved away from those thoughts because they were too painful. I’d moved forward, and when those thoughts hit me, it was like taking ten steps back.
I wanted to tell Jacks everything, but I was all for following Cam’s advice and keeping away from all stressful situations. Learning his doctor was his bio father would certainly trip him out, and of course, Cam was right. Jacks was very protective of me, but I knew in my heart that my boy wanted his mom to be happy.
