With Jacks and I living with Warren in the Laguna Beach condo, one might assume that Warren’s and my relationship had been rekindled, but that couldn’t have been farther from the truth.
Warren and I had picked up where we left off, minus the engagement. There was no sex, no romance, no connection…nothing. Vanilla was a spicy way to describe us. But Warren made me feel grounded, secure, and comfortable, whereas Cam made me feel wild, carefree, and, for lack of a better word, careless.
No matter how often I tried to work things out in my head, I always ended up on that fateful day in Mexico, where I was lost in bliss, debating whether to have another drink, when Cameron walked out to me. I was floating on clouds and higher than Snoop Dogg (as that joke goes), believing he was about to propose marriage to me.
Then, reality hit me like a meteor. The downside of living in a fantasy world is that the stresses of everyday life will hunt you down and find you, so you better be ready. Being half-buzzed and deciding whether I’d accept Cam’s marriage proposal was me living in that fantasy. My son falling into a coma was life’s way of telling me to keep my ass planted in reality and pay attention to my responsibilities.
Warren agreed, and the three of us moved into this lovely condo in Laguna Beach. And every morning that Jacks and I got out and walked the beach, I would look up at the incredible beachfront homes, reminded of the house Jake and Ash so generously let us use and of Cameron’s place in Malibu.
“Jessa?” I heard a woman call over the sound of waves crashing onto the shore. I turned and saw Bree Grayson, a lovely woman I’d only met once. Her husband was one of Cam’s close friends, and Bree was introduced to me by Ash, Avery, and Elena when we met for dinner a while ago. Her bright smile popped the cutest dimples on her cheeks, and she half-jogged over to Jacks and me. “You must be Jacks!” she said, noticing the brace on his right leg and arm. “Well, aren’t you adorably handsome? You look great!”
“Jacks,” I said, smiling at his confused expression, “this is Bree Grayson. Her husband is Alex. He’s good friends with Cam and Cam’s friends.”
“I’ve heard them talk about him. It’s nice to meet you, Bree,” Jacks said, reaching out his right hand. His movements were still slow, but he was making good progress. “Sorry, it’s a bit hard to shake with this hand.”
“Don’t you dare apologize,” she said. “I’ve met grown businessmen who have full use of their right hand, and they don’t even have the courtesy to use it to shake my hand.”
“Tell me about it,” another blonde woman said as she approached. She looked like she’d been transported from a Gucci runway to the beach for God knows what. She peered at Bree through her oversized sunglasses. “Those men don’t offer you the courtesy of shaking your hand because they’re full of themselves.” She looked over at Jacks, “So, always make sure you shake a woman’s hand because if you don’t, chances are she will assume it’s because you wore it out the night before giving yourself a little hand if you know what I mean?”
She took a sip of the Cosmopolitan she held unabashedly in her hand, unconcerned that any random police officer could see her and fine her for it, and I couldn’t help but laugh. Who the hell is this woman? I thought in humor. Her large, floppy beach hat and the way she spoke made me feel like I was standing with the real-life version of Samantha from Sex and the City.
“You’ll need to pardon my friend. Everything is sexual with her,” Bree said, staring at her friend in shock as the woman shrugged her shoulders. Bree shot her friend a look as if to censor her, and then she looked at Jacks. “Jacks, this is Natalia; Nat, this is Cam’s—” she paused, and I knew she was searching for words other than Cam’s son, “Cam’s patient. He’s recovering from surgery, and he’s doing remarkably well.”
She pulled off her sunglasses and eyed Jackson. “Dear God, you look just like Dr. Brandt!” she said. She looked at me as I subtly shook my head, pleading with this woman to shut her mouth immediately. I must’ve looked like a deer in headlights because she caught on instantly and corrected herself. “I just mean, you certainly are a gorgeous young man, aren’t you? Cam would love to know he’s been compared to a handsome man like yourself, especially coming from me.”
Jacks smiled but didn’t say much because I knew he was inwardly drooling over this woman. She was one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen, so I could only imagine what a teenage boy thought of her.
“So, you know Cameron?” I asked, wondering if Cam was dating or had dated this woman. I wouldn’t have been surprised.
“Oh,” she smirked at me while Bree chuckled, “that’s a story for a better day when young men who have proper manners aren’t around.”
Now, my interest was piqued. Who was this woman?
“I’m down here checking out some real estate with Breanne,” she said. “Why don’t you join us for lunch later?”
“They’re not in the market, Nat,” Bree said. “But we’re all going to Jim and Avery’s house tonight for Jake’s birthday. We’re lowkey getting everyone together.”
“I’m going to pass,” I said. “Cam was over this morning, working with Jacks a little bit, and he invited as well, but I think it’s best for us to hang back.”
“Best for whom, dear?” Nat said. “These little bashes are where the good stories about all these crazy men are told.”
“Right,” I answered.
“Mom,” Jacks interjected, “you need to stop hiding from everyone.”
My face flushed red, irritated that Jacks would embarrass me in front of Cam’s friends. He’d been a bulldog in recovery and that mentality had him smarting off every chance he got these days. I knew he was angry that we were back to living with Warren again, and that anger was pointed in my direction.
He lit up when Cam was around, but after Cameron left, my son would dismiss himself to do his treadmill, stretches, and computer therapy in his room and away from Warren and me.
I might’ve gained security from Warren in all of this, but I felt like I was losing everything else around me by choosing stability and comfort over being wild and carefree, starting with my son.
“I wish I could say that’s what I was doing, but that’s hardly what is happening.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” he said. “Nice to meet you both, ladies. Have fun tonight, and tell everyone I said hi.”
“I—” I paused, pointing my thumb back toward where Jackson turned and walked away, “I need to get back. Very nice to meet you, Natalia. And it was great to see you again, Bree.”
“Jessa,” Bree said, stopping me, “do come tonight. If for no other reason than to hang out with us girls again. We miss you.”
“Let me see if Warren is okay to stay with Jacks—”
“Hold the fuck up,” Nat interrupted. “Forgive me if I’m being forward here, but is this Warren guy the acting parent for your son?”
“Acting parent?”
“Yes. You’re not with his dad—whom I can easily assume is Cameron since your son looks exactly like that hot snack of a man—so is Warren his father figure?” Nat questioned, and her confident tone made the statement hilarious instead of intrusive.
“Yes, Warren is pretty much his father. He has been for years.”
“For years?” She pulled her oversized glasses down. “Well, honey, then there’s no asking. There’s simply insisting that he stay with your son so you can have a girls’ night.”
“I don’t think he’ll be cool with me hanging out with a bunch of Cam’s friends,” I honestly said.
“So, you got back with the man and then allowed him to put a fucking leash on you? Nah, you need to get out. After that statement, I can tell you’ll never know what life is outside of being a caretaker and a lonely little housewife,” Nat said. “You’re too good for that. Completely unacceptable.”
“Nat, you’re being rude,” Bree said. “Sorry, she lacks the ability to give a shit. Some people love her, and some hate her.”
“At least I’m black and white. There are no gray areas where I’m concerned. There’s too much stress in the world not to have clarity with people. But listen, hun,” she continued, and somehow, I appreciated her directness, “if you’ve put yourself in a position to depend on a man, and he begins to take your freedoms away, your sex drive will die first, and a vibrator won’t even resurrect it. There’s only one way to go from there: antidepressants, wine, and, inevitably, reality shows about housewives and bake-off challenges. Now, I know what you’re thinking, and those things are all great on their own, but none of them should be binged, especially in tandem.”
“Jesus, Nat. You make it sound like she’s a prisoner for checking in with her partner,” Bree said as the wind whipped through Natalia’s pashmina.
“Losing your sex drive and not being able to live your life a little is more like a death sentence, Bree. Please, God, do not tell me that after a year, Alex has stripped you of your rights as well. Does the vibrator I purchased for you no longer enhance the nights when he’s traveling?”
Bree and I both started laughing. “Are you in real estate or porn?” I asked, laughing. I hadn’t felt this light in too long.
“The porn industry could use my help, that’s for goddamn sure, but I don’t dig that now.”
“I swear, you can work yourself up over nothing,” Bree said.
“I’m always running at an even ten out of ten, ready to go when the moment arises,” she answered with a smile.
“I have to know something,” I said, glancing back and seeing Jacks talking to a couple walking their Labrador on the beach. “Did you and Cam hook up?”
She smiled, “You’re adorable, and I see why you and he have created such a beautiful little human in your son.”
“No,” Bree said immediately. “I think Cam is the only man to ever turn down an advance from Nat.”
“Truth,” Nat said. “That guy is one hell of a scoop of caviar on a cracker. I was working every move and angle I knew—and trust me, honey, I could write the books on seduction—anyway, he played along all night, then turned me down.”
I chuckled, “That doesn’t sound like the guy I dated in college.”
“He mentioned something about not being the man he once was when he was younger, but who knows.” She threw her hair over her shoulder, “There’s plenty of other eligible men who aren’t afraid of me, so it took me a good three minutes to get over the rejection, and he and I have been good friends since.”
“You know what? I think I will take you up on your invitation,” I said, feeling in much better spirits.
Strangely enough, I loved this Natalia character. She was a kick in the ass, and her personality had put me in the mood to be with the girls. If I saw Cameron again, who knew, maybe we’d talk.
“It’s the fear of losing that sex drive that will help you make better decisions, this one being the first, of course,” Nat said.
“Or she could want to have a night out with friends?” Bree said.
“Like I said, fear of losing the sex drive. Depression is the beginning, and then the meds bury it. I’m not a doctor, so don’t go quoting me, but in my experience, that’s usually how it goes. A controlling man controls more than he knows.”
“And ruins more than he knows,” I answered with a laugh. “Listen, I’m going back to the house, and I’ll see you both tonight. I turned down Cameron’s offer earlier, so I’m not sure he’ll be—”
“Who cares?” Bree said. “Cameron’s a big boy. He’ll be pleased you showed up whether you came by his invitation or ours.”
I shook my head and laughed. Then I noticed the mysterious smiles the two women offered each other.
“Am I missing something?” I questioned.
“Nope, we’re taking off.” Nat turned and hooked her arm through Bree’s. “We’ll see you tonight, gorgeous,” she said with a laugh and a wave of her hand.
I would’ve loved to brush it off, but I could tell that I didn’t run into these two on the beach by accident, especially in Laguna Beach, this far south from where all of Cam’s billionaire friends lived.
Maybe the girls really were down here walking the beach and just randomly ran into Jacks and me. Shit like that can happen, right? A text buzzed on my phone, stopping me from overthinking.
Jacks: Warren and I are heading out together.
Jessa: Okay. I guess I’ll order in food and enjoy some alone time 😉
Jacks: Go have fun with your friends, Mom. Please.
Something was definitely up. Jacks never wanted to go anywhere with Warren. Warren was dull and dry, and when he tried to fit in and be Jackson’s buddy, the awkwardness of it drove Jacks insane. The divide with Warren had only seemed to grow since Cam and Jacks had become closer, especially since Cam had spent so much time with Jacks lately to help with rehab. We owed Cameron everything. I knew Cam was the reason Jacks had worked so damn hard to get this far. Cam pushed him, and Jacks loved it and thrived.
I didn’t have the mental capacity to dig into any hidden conspiracies about getting me out of the house, but I was grateful for the opportunity. And if all these outside forces were working on getting me to socialize, they’d succeeded.
