Alejandro had hardly said two words to me since we’d left the hospital. The doctors had told us all to go home and get some rest and go back the following morning to see Mateo. Despite Alejandro’s insistence that she stay with us, his mom had gone back to his Uncle Phillipe’s house. She and Phillipe’s wife, Rachel were as close as sisters, and it was where Maria wanted to be. I got the sense she didn’t want to worry Alejandro any further, or have him feel like he needed to look after her too.
The tension between us was palpable. His uncle Carlos had barely been able to hide his disdain every time he looked at me and I wondered if they knew that Alejandro and his father had fought about me. Or if they knew I had run away to New York. Worst of all, I worried that they blamed me somehow for Mateo being shot. Maybe they thought it wouldn’t have happened if Alejandro hadn’t been chasing me across the country?
Was Alejandro was regretting his last contact with his father too? The things he’d told me he had said can’t have been easy for him, and until Mateo was awake and Alejandro could speak to him, was he worried that the last words they had ever spoken had been in anger?
I looked at my husband, his face full of turmoil, and my heart almost broke for him. I wanted to make it better for him, but I didn’t know how. I felt so guilty for running away to New York like a child. I hadn’t considered the possible consequences at all, and now our whole world felt like it was tumbling in on us.
By the time we reached the house, I could feel Alejandro’s rage radiating from him like the heat from a furnace. Jacob opened the car door for me and I stepped out. Lucia, Kelsey and Hugo were waiting on the doorstep for us. I’d almost forgotten about Kelsey. My poor best friend had come for a break and she was now stuck right in the middle of all this.
Lucia wrapped her arms around Alejandro’s waist as he reached the doorway. ‘I’m glad Mateo is okay,’ she said.
‘Thanks, kid,’ he replied as he gave her a soft kiss on the top of her head.
Then she stepped back from him and looked up at me, and the anger in her face almost took my breath away. The next thing I knew, she had turned on her heel and was storming back into the house.
I looked between Kelsey and Hugo. ‘What the hell?’
It was Alejandro who answered me though. ‘What the fuck did you expect, Alana?’ he snapped. ‘She’s pissed at you, and she has every right to be. You are the closest thing to family that kid has. Every single person she has ever known has either let her down, used her or abandoned her, and the minute things got a bit tough for you, you fucked off out of here without a thought for anyone but yourself.’
Then he turned and walked into the house towards his office, leaving me standing there, blinking like an idiot as I realized he was right. Poor Lucia.
I felt the tears running down my cheeks and the next thing I knew, Kelsey had her arm around my shoulders. ‘Come on, honey. Let’s get you inside,’ she said softly. ‘Leave that asshole to calm down.’
I smiled at her as I wiped the tears away. There was no point in crying, I had to fix this mess with Lucia and try and get through to Alejandro somehow. ‘Thanks, Kels. But I need to go and talk to Lucia.’
‘Okay. I’ll be in the garden with Hugo then,’ she said as she linked her arm through his. He coughed awkwardly and I couldn’t help but smile as he looked at me like a deer trapped in the headlights. Kelsey would eat him alive if he wasn’t careful.
‘Actually, I’m sure the boss will need to speak with me,’ he said. ‘Sorry, Kelsey.’
She sighed dramatically. ‘Fine. I’ll be in the garden on my own then,’ she smiled and then walked off to the direction of the French doors.
‘Are you okay?’ Hugo asked as we walked down the hallway together.
‘Yes. Thanks. I’m worried about Alejandro though.’
Hugo nodded. ‘He’s had a rough couple of days. But then so have you. And Lucia has been desperate to have you home, you know. She’s been pacing the halls.’
‘I know. But, Alejandro was right. I shouldn’t have left her like that.’
‘Hey, we do what we need to do. Don’t be so hard on yourself,’ he said with a smile.
‘Thanks, Hugo.’
‘Any time. Now, I’d better go and find the boss.’
I nodded. ‘Sure. And I’ll go find Lucia.’
After checking her two favorite places, the den and the kitchen, I eventually found Lucia in her bedroom. Her door was open but I knocked lightly before popping my head inside. She was sitting up on her bed flicking through a magazine.
‘Hey, sweetheart. Can we talk?’
‘Whatever,’ she said with a roll of her eyes.
I waked into the room and sat on the bed beside her. ‘I’m really sorry I took off like that. It was wrong of me.’
‘Nothing to apologize to me for. Like I care, anyway. You don’t owe me anything,’ she snorted.
I swallowed. She wasn’t going to make this easy on me, was she? ‘Well, I think I owe you an apology, even if you don’t, and an explanation if you’ll hear me out?’
She looked up from her magazine and shrugged her shoulders. ‘Whatever?’ she said but she kept her eyes fixed on me.
‘You know I was having those tests at the doctors?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Well, yesterday, Dr. Kelly told me that I’ll find it very difficult to have children naturally.’
‘Oh,’ she said, her face softening slightly.
I took a deep breath. ‘So, I kind of got a bit upset, and then I started overthinking things and questioning what kind of woman I was if I couldn’t have a baby –’
‘A woman is not defined by her ability to have a baby, Alana!’ Lucia snapped.
‘I know that,’ I smiled at her. ‘And I’m glad that you do too. But, like I said, I kind of got lost in my own head. Sometimes, I don’t think straight when I’m upset,’ I said with a shrug. ‘I also overheard part of a private conversation that I shouldn’t have. What I heard was out of context, but I didn’t know that at the time, and so that suddenly compounded all of those thoughts I’ve ever had about not being good enough. About not being worthy.’
‘I get that,’ Lucia said sadly.
‘It’s crap, isn’t it? Us women are more powerful and stronger than half the world gives us credit for, and the sad thing is we struggle to remember it ourselves sometimes.’
Lucia nodded as she stared at me.
‘Don’t you ever forget that, my little warrior!’ I said to her as I reached out and touched her hand. ‘You are one of the strongest and bravest people I have ever met.’
She squeezed back. ‘So are you.’
I smiled at her. ‘You really think so?’
‘You’ve got the King of L.A whipped, haven’t you?’ she giggled.
I laughed too. ‘Don’t let him hear you say that. He’d probably toss you out on the street.’
She nodded as she started laughing harder. ‘Can you imagine his face if I told him he was whipped?’
‘Yes, I can,’ I nodded, imagining that very thing.
When she had stopped laughing, I spoke again. ‘I really am sorry, Lucia. I shouldn’t have left without talking to you first and telling you what was going on. And, I know it might take time to win back your trust, but I promise you I will never do it again. You can count on me every single second of every single day. You got that?’
‘Yeah,’ she smiled.
‘Good,’ I let out a long breath, thankful that we were on good terms again. If only Alejandro would be so easy to win over. Then without warning, she launched herself forward and wrapped me in a massive hug. ‘You’re going to be a great mom one day,’ she said softly.
I hugged her back. ‘Thank you, sweetheart,’ I said as I choked back a sob.
