Hate Notes: Chapter 37


The overnight train was a mistake. I hadn’t been able to sleep all night. The jerking motion combined with my own busy mind had prevented me from getting any quality shut-eye.

Traveling on a sleeper car through Italy was nothing like I’d imagined. It was a lonely, uncomfortable experience.

I missed home.

I miss Reed.

As sad as that made me, it was the truth.

Deciding to head to the dining area to grab some breakfast, I took a seat by the window and had the entire car to myself. Still on my French-food kick, I ordered a croissant and a coffee.

Looking through the glass, I marveled at the scenic Italian landscape. My eyes stayed transfixed on the agriculture outside until a reflection of a man who looked awfully like Reed appeared in the window.

I was hallucinating.

Can too much dairy make you hallucinate?

I blinked. When he was still there, I turned to my left and placed my hand over my chest at the sight of him.


Oh my God, Reed!

His mouth was trembling as he stood staring at me. “Are you alone?”

Unable to form words, I simply nodded.

His shoulders were rising and falling. He looked rugged, unshaven, like he’d been backpacking through Europe. He was wearing cargo pants and boots.

Is this a dream?

“You look like you’re going to war,” I said.

“I thought I was.” He expelled a long breath. “I thought you were here with a man.”

“You came all this way because you thought I was here with a man?”

“Yes.” He closed his eyes. “I mean, no. I don’t know. I think I would have come either way. I have so much to say, Charlotte.”

“I can’t believe you’re here.”

He finally approached, landing in the seat next to me and into my arms.

Squeezing him tightly, I started to cry. “I missed you so much, Reed.”

He breathed into my neck. “Oh, beautiful. I missed you, too.” Pulling back to look at me, he said, “Bonnie Raitt was right . . .”

“What do you mean?”

He stared into my eyes for several seconds before he said, “You can’t make someone love a person. But the opposite is also true. Nothing can make someone unlove a person, either. I have tried so hard not to love you, Charlotte. But I love you with all of my heart and soul.”

Tears fell harder as I wrapped my arms around his neck. “God, Reed, I love you so much.”

Speaking into my ear, he asked, “Can we go to your sleeper car?”

Excitement filled me. “Yes.”

We both rushed up out of our seats and headed to my cabin. The second that the door closed behind us, his lips were enveloping mine. I couldn’t take it if he told me one more time that we couldn’t be together. I loved this man and didn’t want to live a second without him ever again.

His erection pressed against my abdomen as he pushed me down onto the bed.

“I have so much to say,” he spoke over my lips as he hovered over me. “But I need to be inside of you while I say it. Please.”

Panting, I nodded. “Yes.”

His hands were fumbling to get my jeans off. I helped slide them off my legs without breaking my lips away from his for even a second.

I was already so wet when his thick crown pushed into my entrance. He was fully inside of me in one hard thrust. He was fucking me as if he’d traveled across the world just to do this. I suppose he had.

My hands raked through his already messy hair. His stubble scratched my skin as he devoured my mouth.

He whispered into my ear as he penetrated me, “I love you, Charlotte. I love you so much, and I’m so sorry that I don’t know how to stop. I can’t fucking stop. I’m a selfish bastard. And I need you by my side even if it ends up ruining your life. I need you.”

“You’ve saved my life, and I don’t ever want to live without you.”

“As long as I’m breathing, you won’t have to.”

The talking stopped as he pumped into me harder. The bed beneath us shook. The train was moving, but somehow it still felt like we were rocking it. Our first time in Texas had knocked my socks off, but there were no words for how good it felt this time. My orgasm came without warning. As I screamed out in ecstasy, his body trembled before his hot cum filled me.

Maybe it felt different this time because now I knew for certain that he was mine.

“Is this for real, Reed?”

Still inside of me, he kissed my neck and said, “This is the realest thing I’ve ever experienced. I want it all, Charlotte. I want to marry you, I want you to have my babies if that’s what you want, and I want to give you everything you’ve ever dreamed of.”

His proclamation caused me to really burst into tears.

“Did I say something wrong?” he asked.

“No. I’m so happy, Reed.”

We just looked into each other’s eyes and smiled. The happiness in his expression mirrored my own.

He slowly pulled out of me and cradled me in his arms, speaking against my skin.

“You know, I never really looked at what happened with Allison as a blessing until you. If she had never left me, I would have never met you. My love for you is beyond anything I’ve ever felt for anyone, Charlotte. There’s no comparison.”

“Part of why I was crying was that you mentioned babies. For some reason, I was scared that maybe you would be afraid to have children. Hearing you say you want them with me, it’s like a dream come true.”

“We never really talked about it, but I always suspected you wanted kids,” he said.

“Yes, but not more than I want you.”

“Well, I want to give you both. I’ll have to put a certain amount of faith in God that I’m making the right decision. You know I worry about my ability to take care of you and them. But there’s nothing I want more than to have a little Charlotte.”

Tears were filling my eyes again. “I’m so happy, Reed.”

“Me, too.” He kissed me before saying, “I can’t wait to see Rome with you. How about we fly back to Paris for a few days after, too.”

My eyes widened. “Really?”

“I want to see it with you. I’ve never been.”

“I can show you so much! There are so many cafés I found. So much good bread and cheese!”

“Cheese, huh? Well, now I’m really excited.”

I started to replay the events of the past half hour in my head. “Hey . . . what made you think I was here with a man?”

“Iris. She put the idea in my head that Blake was here with you.”

Closing my eyes, I had to laugh. Iris knew full well that I didn’t go out with Blake. She’d said that to make Reed jealous. She’d totally tricked him.

I’d have to remember to thank her.


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