I knew I was in trouble before I even opened an eyelid.
The tone of my mother’s voice as she screamed my name from the rooftops was proof of that. ‘Jonathon Kavanagh!’ Her voice cut through the silence, followed by high heels clicking on tiles. ‘You better come out from wherever you’re hiding and explain what the hell is going on!’
Startled, I sprung up, still half-asleep, and blinked rapidly as I tried to process what the fuck was happening.
‘There you are!’ Mam barked. ‘What are you doing sleeping in the sitting room?’
I was in the sitting room?
Resting an arm on the back of the couch, I looked over at her, feeling at a loss. ‘I, ah…’ I yawned loudly and rolled the kinks from my shoulders. ‘Huh?’
‘Do you have any idea why Marie Lynch left a message on your father’s phone first thing this morning looking for her daughter?’ Mam demanded, standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips.
‘What?’ Scratching my chest, I asked, ‘Marie who?’
‘Marie Lynch!’ Mam snapped. ‘Shannon’s mother.’
Oh shite.
‘Well? I’m waiting for an explanation here, Johnny!’
The small ball of heat pressed to my side began to stir and a pair of midnight blue eyes peeked out from under the blanket.
Double shite.
Last night’s events came flooding back in a rush, bringing with it a flush of heat straight to my dick.
‘Hi,’ Shannon mouthed, looking wide-eyed and terrified, as she clasped the blanket between her fingers and stared up at me. ‘Help.’
From my mother’s standing point, she could only see the back of the couch. I could have wept from the momentary relief that flooded me.
‘What do I do?’ she mouthed, breathing hard. ‘Should I get up?‘
Fuck no!
‘Would you believe me if I said I didn’t know?’ I called out to my mother as I pulled the blanket back over Shannon’s head and awkwardly clambered over her, biting back the urge to scream when pain shot through me like a bullet to the cock.
Stay down, I mentally begged Shannon as I got to my feet, please stay the fuck down.
‘Not in the slightest,’ Mam shot back, watching me like a hawk. ‘Why are you naked?’
I glanced down at my jocks and shrugged, feigning nonchalance. ‘I’m not naked.’
Her eyes narrowed. ‘Then why are you lounging on my good leather in your underpants?’
‘Underpants?’ I gave her an indignant look. ‘Am I ten?’
‘No, you’re nearly eighteen and partially naked,’ Mam shot back angrily. ‘And there’s a girl I can’t account for – one who you’re particularly fond of, and one whose mother has been hopping off my phone.’
I scratched my head, knowing that I was completely fucked, but wrestling for a way out all the same. ‘I thought you said she called Da’s phone.’
‘And your father gave her my number,’ Mam bit out, turning purple now.
Jesus, I was so fucking dead.
‘I’ve been on the phone, listening to that bleeding woman drone on the entire drive down from Dublin, demanding I return her sixteen-year-old daughter before she calls the Gardaí on you.’
‘You shouldn’t answer your phone when you’re driving, Ma,’ I poked the bear by saying. ‘It’s bad form.’
‘Bluetooth headsets, Jonathon,’ Mam growled. ‘Now, do you know where she is or not?’
‘No idea,’ I lied through my teeth. ‘Sorry.’
‘If you know where she is, you need to tell me now,’ Mam countered, giving me one of those ‘don’t bullshit me’ looks.
‘No clue,’ I shot back. ‘Sorry.’
‘Do you know what statutory rape is, Johnny?’ she growled, sounding furious. ‘Because Marie Lynch threw that word around an awful lot on the phone to me! And if you’ve been with Shannon – if she’s here now and you’re lying to me, then you’re going to be in some serious trouble, laddie.’
‘What the actual fuck?’ I barked, horrified. ‘She said that? Are you being serious?’
‘Yes, she said that, and it’s not the first time,’ Mam said, voice shaking. ‘Do you have any idea how damaging an accusation like that could be to a boy’s future – and especially one in your position?’ She threw her hands up for emphasis. ‘You could kiss goodbye to a career in rugby, that’s for sure!’
‘I didn’t do anything,’ I choked out.
‘She’s underage, Johnny,’ Mam snarled right back. ‘Her brother swore down that she left her house with you yesterday and she conveniently didn’t go back home last night.’ Glaring, she added, ‘You’re the mathematician in the family, so do the bleeding maths!’
I glared right back at her, furious. ‘So, because her brother thinks she’s with me, that makes me a fucking rapist?’
‘It means that if she doesn’t show up at home, her mother will have the Gardaí up to this house and you’ll be the first one –’
‘Don’t let her call the Gards on him, Mrs. Kavanagh.’
I dropped my head.
Fuck. My. Life.
Springing out from under the blanket, Shannon jumped to her feet. ‘I’m here.’ Breathing a little harder than normal, Shannon grimaced and clutched her side. ‘And I’m so sorry. I know I’m not supposed to be, but I just… I didn’t mean to…we didn’t…’
Mam’s mouth fell open in horror. ‘Shannon?’
‘It’s not how it looks,’ I hurried to defuse the situation, if that was even possible. ‘We fell asleep watching a film. We didn’t do anything, Ma–’
‘Shannon,’ Mam strangled out, moving towards us.
‘We were sleeping,’ I repeated, stepping in front of Shannon. ‘Just sleeping. I didn’t touch her. I swear, I didn’t lay a finger –’
‘Shut up, Johnny!’ Mam choked out.
I swiftly snapped my mouth shut and eyed my mother warily as she approached us.
On shaky legs, Mam walked over to the mantel piece and leaned a hand against it. She still had her other hand pressed to her mouth and tears were filling her eyes.
‘We didn’t do anything,’ I offered once more, brows furrowed. ‘And look –’ I pointed to the blue jeans and slightly askew, white vest top Shannon was sporting. ‘She’s fully clothed, so just relax, okay?’ And don’t kill me too much.
Shaking her head, Mam moved to the coffee table and lowered herself down. ‘Oh god,’ she strangled, dropping her head in her hands, voice strained. ‘Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.’
It took me a few moments to figure out what the fuck was happening, and why my mother wasn’t dragging me away by the ear, when it dawned on me that this was her first time seeing Shannon since the attack. Yeah, I was calling it an attack because that’s exactly what the fuck it was. An attack.
Shannon’s whole face was a map of bruises and discoloration, and it was hitting my mother hard.
Good, I thought to myself, put yourself in my shoes and tell me what you’d do. Tell me how you’d take her back to that house?
‘I’m so sorry, Mrs. Kavanagh,’ Shannon choked out, flailing anxiously beside me.
‘Hey –’ I captured one of her hands in mine and smoothed a thumb over her knuckles, desperate to soothe her. ‘Shh, it’s okay.’
Shannon glanced down at our joined hands and then looked up at me. ‘I’m so sorry, Johnny.’
‘You didn’t do anything wrong,’ I told her, tone gruff.
‘I just…I didn’t want to go home last night,’ she continued, breathing hard, as she looked to my mother. ‘I’m so sorry for causing trouble, Mrs. Kavanagh. I didn’t mean to upset you –’
‘I’m not upset with you, love,’ Mam interrupted, sounding slightly more composed, as she stood up. ‘Don’t be worrying.’
‘I’ll go,’ Shannon hurried to say. ‘Right now, I promise.’
Mam sighed heavily. ‘You don’t have to do that, Shannon, love.’
‘She doesn’t?’
‘I don’t?’
‘Let’s all just have a cup of tea first.’ Wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand, Mam smiled warmly at Shannon. ‘And then we’ll figure this all out, okay, love?’
‘Yeah.’ Shannon blew out a shaky breath and nodded. ‘Okay.’
‘Now –’ Turning to face me, Mam said, ‘Do you have any more surprises for me?’ There was a teasing lilt to her voice. ‘You don’t have any more of her children hiding in my house, do you?’
I shifted around awkwardly. ‘Ah, maybe one or two.’
Mam laughed.
I didn’t.
‘Thanks for the bed, Kavanagh,’ a familiar voice called out from down the hallway, choosing the worst possible time to wake from his stoned slumber. ‘Can I borrow a hoodie?’
For fuck’s sake.
Mam’s eyes bugged in her head. ‘And who is that?’
‘Ah, that would be Joey,’ I muttered, rubbing my jaw.
‘And who is Joey?’
‘My brother,’ Shannon offered weakly.
‘Are there any more Lynch children in my house, Jonathon?’
‘No,’ I muttered, not meeting her eye. ‘I only took two.’
‘Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the donkey,’ Mam wailed as she bounded for the hallway. ‘What am I going to do with you?’
‘Is she mad?’ Shannon asked, drawing my attention back to her. Her eyes were wide and laced with panic. Her entire frame had stiffened to stone. ‘Are you going to be in trouble over me?’
Probably.
‘No,’ I replied, keeping my tone gentle. ‘She’s just worried.’
‘Are you?’ She swallowed deeply. ‘Mad?’
My brows furrowed. ‘With you?’
Shannon nodded, looking sick now.
‘No, Shan,’ I said slowly. ‘I’m not mad at you.’
‘I won’t let my mam do anything to you,’ she blurted then, clutching my hand tightly in both of hers. Her chest was rising and falling quickly as she spoke and I had a feeling she was either going to puke or have a panic attack. ‘Whatever she says…I swear, Johnny, I won’t let her get you into trouble…I promise, I’ll fix this… Just please don’t hate me –’
I leaned down and kissed her, knowing no other way to ease her panic.
Shannon went lax in my arms, I could feel the tension leaving her body as her limbs loosened out and her hands rested on my waist.
‘I’m not scared of your mother,’ I told her, resting my forehead against hers. ‘And I could never hate you.’ I brushed my lips against hers again. ‘Not in a million years.’
‘But she’s –’
I kissed her again, harder this time, making my point with my tongue.
‘Your Ma can say whatever she wants.’ Straightening to my full height, I tucked a rogue strand of hair behind her ear and rested my hands on her bone thin shoulders. ‘She can make all the threats she wants. It doesn’t change anything for me.’ Sighing at her forlorn expression, I cupped her face in my hands and leaned close. ‘Because I’m not going anywhere.’
‘Really?’ Shannon whispered, staring up at me with those lonesome eyes. Her fingers were digging into my sides so hard I had a feeling she was going to leave a mark on me. ‘You promise?’
There she went asking for promises I wasn’t sure I could keep, and there I went making them anyway.
‘Yeah, Shan,’ I croaked out. ‘I promise.’
Our lips touched again, brushing gently, and I knew right there and then that I was done for. It was a soft, gentle, innocent kiss that packed the punch of a lifetime because with that minimal contact, she freewheeled my hormones out of control and KO’d my heart.
Knowing that I needed to stop while I still could, I broke the kiss, breathing hard, and reached for my clothes, deciding it would be safer facing her brother with my pants on.
‘Come on,’ I said, reaching for Shannon’s hand when I was dressed. Tugging gently, I led her out of my sitting room and straight to my slaughter – which just so happened to be my kitchen. Where my mother had a wide range of knives and other sharp appliances…
Fuck.
Reaching the kitchen door, I stalled when the sound of voices echoed from behind the partially closed door.
‘Oh my god, is he talking to her?’ Shannon whispered, wide-eyed, when she heard Joey’s voice.
Well, he wasn’t shouting, which was a good thing because as sorry as I felt for Shannon’s brother, if he planned on speaking to my mother the way he spoke to me and Gibsie yesterday, I was going to lose my shit. There was a line in a man’s life that no one crossed. That line for me was my Ma. No one fucked with her.
Pushing the kitchen door inwards, I stepped inside with Shannon clutching my hand like a lifeline.
My eyes immediately sought out and landed on Joey, who was leaning against the utility room door, looking cornered and feral, and yet, he was watching my mother with an almost reluctant curiosity.
He was clearly all fucked up, coming down from whatever he’d taken, and there my mother was, heating up bleeding scones and talking to him about god knows what.
The most shocking thing of it all was that I got the distinct impression that Joey was actually listening to her.
Frowning, I studied him closer. Jesus, he was absolutely listening to her.
Mam had her back to the door, not noticing mine and Shannon’s presence, and was droning on about something or other. Joey, on the other hand, was concentrating so hard on whatever my mother was saying that he seemed oblivious to everything around him.
‘You know, love, I’m sure I’ve heard of that garage,’ Mam said as she slid a plate of scones into the microwave and switched it on. ‘I’ll definitely bring the car down the next time it needs a service.’
‘Really?’ he asked her, voice low and uncertain. He pulled at his sleeves, twitching nervously. ‘You don’t have to.’
‘I’d like to,’ Mam responded as she pulled various pots of jam out of the overhead cupboard. ‘How long have you worked there?’
‘Since I was twelve or thirteen,’ he mumbled, shifting around uncomfortably, wary eyes still trained on my mother. ‘Been on the books since third year.’
Mam froze for a moment before quickly recovering. ‘That young?’
He shrugged unapologetically. ‘Needed the money.’
‘And you like it?’ she asked, reaching for the kettle. ‘Mechanics? That’s something you might be interested in pursuing after you’re done with school?’
He shrugged stiffly. ‘Money’s decent.’
‘Well, I think you are a credit to yourself, Joey Lynch,’ Mam coaxed, dropping a few teabags into the pot. ‘Working all those hours after school.’ She filled the teapot with boiling water. ‘And in your leaving cert year.’ She set the kettle down and beamed at him. ‘You should be so proud of yourself.’
Joey’s brows furrowed so deeply, he looked like he was in the throes of a migraine. ‘Why?’
‘Why what, love?’ Mam asked kindly.
‘Nothing.’ He shifted around again, pulling his sleeves down over his knuckles only to roll them back up a few moments later. ‘Doesn’t even matter.’
‘I think it does,’ Mam replied softly. ‘Say what you were going to say, love. I’m listening.’
‘I, uh…I –’ Joey’s wild green eyes flicked to me then, before swiftly shifting to Shannon. Instant relief engulfed his features. ‘Alright, Shan?’ he croaked out, showing the first sign of genuine affection I’d seen since yesterday. ‘How’s it going?’ I watched him watch her, his eyes roaming over her face and a mixture of guilt and pain flickered in his eyes. ‘You okay?’
‘Hey, Joe,’ Shannon replied in a tone thick with emotion. She nodded before adding, ‘Are you?’
‘All good,’ was his response – his full of shite response because the lad was about as far from good as anyone could get. ‘Kavanagh,’ he said then, offering me a stiff nod. ‘Thanks again.’
‘Joey,’ I responded. ‘Anytime.’
Feeling the need to do something, I released Shannon’s hand and strolled towards my mother, grabbing the plate of scones from the microwave as I went. ‘These smell savage, Ma.’
Scooping one off the plate, I stuffed it into my mouth, ignoring the burn as it scalded my tongue, as I moved for the island. The scones did smell great, but that’s not why I was choking myself trying to stuff one down. It was because I wanted these two to fucking eat something.
‘Manners, Johnny,’ Mam scolded, and then, in a much softer tone, said, ‘Joey, Shannon, why don’t you both sit down and have some breakfast.’
Neither one moved.
I glanced back at Shannon’s wary face and then to her brother, and my blood heated to the point of turning to lava in my veins.
Jesus Christ, what the fuck did those people do to these kids?
Dropping the plate down on the marble island top, I pulled out a stool, carefully sat down, patted the stool beside me, and then mentally counted down from five.
Four, three, two, one…
Like a skittish baby foal, Shannon moved her legs towards me, like I had hoped she would, and took the stool beside me. It took her three tries to hoist herself onto the stool, but unlike last time when we were alone, I didn’t move to lift her for two very obvious reasons.
First, my mother was taking this incredibly well, given the circumstances, and I didn’t want to push my luck.
Second, her brother was watching me like he didn’t know if he wanted to trust me or throttle me.
When Shannon finally managed to get herself seated, I smirked down at her. She flushed bright pink and dropped her gaze to the counter, shoulders bunched together tightly.
Christ, she was back to being jittery.
It was like last night hadn’t happened, and if she wasn’t sitting right here beside me, I would have thought I conjured the whole thing up in my head.
Joey waited a solid minute longer before blowing out a breath and walking over to the island. Pulling out a stool beside his sister, he sank down and rested his elbows on the counter, shaking his head to himself and drumming his fingers restlessly.
‘Now.’ Setting a pot of tea down in front of us, Mam went back and forth to the cupboards, laying out cups and side plates in front of us until the kitchen island resembled a high tea at a bleeding hotel. ‘Eat up,’ she encouraged, sinking down on the stool across from us.
Not needing any encouragement, I happily stuffed my face, drowning myself in food I would never touch during training, but they didn’t make a move.
‘Come on.’ Nudging the plate towards Shannon and Joey, Mam smiled encouragingly. ‘I’ll be insulted if you don’t try one.’
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as they silently communicated with one another. Not one word was spoken, but I knew something was passing between them.
And then they both moved in synchrony for the scones.
Thank Christ for that.
Relief flickered in my mother’s eyes as she observed the Lynchs devouring the scones from behind the rim of her coffee mug. Her tear-filled eyes shifted to me and I gave her a ‘I know’ look.
With a small shake of her head, Mam slapped on a bright smile and began to do what she did best: talk and meddle. The woman was gifted with her mouth, and could make conversation out of anything. I had no fucking clue where I went wrong or why that particular gene skipped over me, but as I watched my mother make small talk with the both of them, I was grateful.
Grateful that she was here.
Grateful she wasn’t losing her shit with me for a having a girl sleep over.
Grateful that she was my Ma.
‘Johnny,’ Mam said after what had to be an hour of idle chit-chat. ‘We’ll have to get going soon. You have physio in an hour, love.’
My heart plummeted into my ass.
‘I…’ Pausing, I glanced at Shannon and then my mother. ‘I don’t have to go.’
Mam’s brows shot up in surprise. ‘You don’t?’
I hesitated for a split second and that was all it took for Shannon to spring off her stool and announce, ‘We should get going, Joe.’
‘Yeah.’ With a shake of his head, Joey stood up. ‘We should.’
‘You don’t have to,’ I hurried to say, feeling panicked at the prospect of letting her go. ‘I don’t have to go to physio. It’s not that important. I can miss one day. It won’t kill me.’
‘No, you need to go,’ Shannon replied. ‘And we need to go home.’ She glanced up at her brother. ‘Right?’
Now Joey was the one to hesitate as he stood in the middle of my kitchen, looking like he was fighting an internal battle of his own. ‘Right,’ he finally replied, tone tight. ‘Home.’
‘I’ll drive you both,’ Mam interjected, shaking her head at me when I opened my mouth to protest.
I ran a hand through my hair in agitation. ‘But I just –’
‘It’s grand, Kavanagh,’ Joey said, giving me a meaningful look. ‘You’ve done enough, lad.’
No, I hadn’t.
I hadn’t done enough by half.
