The moment Johnny drove through the opened gates of his property, he killed the lights of the car, leaving us completely in the dark. Excited and nervous, I kept my eyes trained on his face, and my hand on top of his as he changed gears, slowing to a complete halt halfway up the long, narrow laneway.
Cutting the engine, he turned to look at me. ‘I’m going to take you up to my room, but we’re going to have to sneak in through the front, okay?’
Nodding eagerly, I whispered, ‘Okay.’
‘That’s not because you’re not welcome,’ he hurried to add. ‘It’s because my Ma won’t let us have a minute’s peace otherwise.’ Unbuckling his belt, he pushed the car door open and climbed out, gently closing his door before rounding the car. ‘You ready?’ he asked, reaching for my hand when I stepped out and closing the car door behind me.
‘Yeah,’ I replied, keeping my voice low. It was raining hard again and the cold droplets were pelting against my bare skin, causing a shiver to roll through me.
‘Bonnie and Cupcake should be in their run for the night,’ he explained as we crept up the pitch-dark laneway. ‘It’s around the back of the house, so we should be good.’
‘What about Sookie?’
‘Sookie won’t bark at me,’ he replied confidently.
‘How will she know it’s you?’
‘She’ll just know.’ Sliding his keys into his hand when we reached the driveway, Johnny literally dragged me across the gravel to lean against the house. ‘You okay?’
‘Should we be doing this?’ I asked, breathing hard.
‘Honestly? Probably not, but we’re going to do it anyway.’
‘Okay.’ I nodded. ‘We are?’
‘I don’t know.’ Johnny hesitated. ‘Are we?’
‘Uh, I think so?’
‘Fuck it –’ Shaking his head, he kissed me hard and then dragged me towards the front door. Releasing my hand, he held a finger to his lips, and then turned the key in the door, cringing when the door creaked open. ‘Go on,’ he mouthed, inclining his head towards the hallway.
Kicking off my high-heels, I bent down and snatched them up before hurrying inside. Johnny quietly closed the door after us and for a few moments we both stood in the entry hall, with our eyes locked on each other.
After a minute or so of complete silence, a slow smile crept across his face and I grinned back at him.
‘Bingo,’ he purred, before hooking an arm around my waist and pulling me flush against him.
Feeling heady with lust and adrenalin, and smothering a squeal, I wrapped my arms around his neck, shoes and all, and pulled his face down to mine.
Our kiss was warm, clumsy, and overloaded with an overwhelming need for more. Johnny made this deep, gravelly sound in his throat, and then we were moving, stumbling blindly down the hallway.
‘You’re back early, love. Did your car break down?’ Mrs. Kavanagh’s voice cut through my lust-filled thoughts and I jerked away from Johnny like I had been scalded.
Mortified, I turned to stare at his mother who was sitting on the bottom step of their impressive staircase. She had a washing basket set on the floor at her feet as she paired socks. Sprawled out beside the basket was Johnny’s old, black Labrador. The moment Sookie spotted Johnny, she clambered unsteadily to her feet and bounded towards him.
‘Jesus,’ Johnny muttered under his breath as he pushed both hands through his hair before dropping a hand to pet his dog. ‘I didn’t see you there, Ma.’
‘That’s alright, Johnny, I saw you,’ Mrs. Kavanagh replied with a smirk. ‘Great effort, though.’ Turning her attention to me, she smiled warmly. ‘Hello, Shannon. It’s lovely to see you again.’
‘Hi, Mrs. Kavanagh,’ I strangled out, mortified beyond belief. ‘H-how are you?’
‘I’m grand, love.’ Setting a pair of socks she had paired into the basket, she stood up and dusted down the back of her jeans, smile still firmly in place. ‘You look stunning tonight.’
‘Uh, thanks?’ Heat crept across my skin. Should I apologize for being here? Was she mad? Should I apologize again for my mother’s behavior? Should I just go? ‘So do you,’ I wheezed out, feeling slightly sick now. What the hell should I do?
Making the decision for us, Johnny reclaimed my hand and pulled me towards the staircase. ‘We’re going to go watch a film,’ he announced, watching his mother with what looked like great caution, as we passed her.
‘Oh?’ his mother replied, arching a brow. ‘Nothing good playing at the pictures?’
‘I have one in my room that we wanted to watch,’ Johnny shot back, half-dragging me up the staircase after him. ‘So, yeah. That’s what we’re going to do.’
‘What film?’
‘Jesus Christ, Ma, a film!’ Johnny groaned, halting at the top of the staircase to look down at his mother. ‘What does it matter?’
‘Love Actually,’ I blurted out the first title that popped into my head.
Johnny nodded eagerly. ‘That’s right.’
‘Gibsie lent it to us,’ I added to my lies, realizing that I was a far better liar when put under pressure from an authoritative figure than he was. Years of practice. ‘He said it’s his favorite, and he was going on all week at school that we needed to see it.’
‘Exactly.’ Giving my hand a small squeeze, he pulled me up the last two steps to join him. ‘And Shannon’s never watched it.’
‘Why don’t you bring the DVD down and we can all watch it in the living room together?’ his mother called after us.
‘What?‘ Johnny gaped. ‘Ma, no!’
They stared hard at each other for a long beat before Mrs. Kavanagh released a heavy sigh and nodded. ‘Fine, go ahead and watch your film, but keep your door open,’ she said in a low, warning tone of voice. ‘Wide open, Jonathon.’
Without another word, we strode off down the hallway towards his room. Slipping inside, Johnny closed the door behind us and deftly turned the lock before leaning against it. ‘I am so sorry about her,’ he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. ‘She’s…’
‘Only looking out for you,’ I whispered. ‘It’s okay.’
‘She’s smothering me,’ he corrected, shoulders sagging in defeat. ‘I can’t move anymore and she’s watching me like a hawk.’
‘I don’t think she wants me here, Johnny,’ I confessed, chewing on my lip nervously. ‘Maybe I should go?’
‘What?’ He shook his head and stifled a groan. ‘No, Shan, that’s not it.’ Striding towards me, he captured my hand and walked us over to his bed. ‘My mother really likes you. I promise. She’s just…’ Sinking down on his bed, Johnny released a heavy sigh. ‘It has nothing to do with you being here and everything to do with you being up here alone with me.’ Shrugging, he looked up at me and said, ‘She’s just afraid of something happening between us.’
I sat down beside him. ‘Happening?’
‘Sex,’ he replied gruffly, shifting his body to face me.
My breath hitched. ‘Oh.’ Swallowing deeply, I nodded. ‘Okay.’
‘But that’s not what’s happening here,’ he hurried to say, even though he leaned closer.
‘Okay,’ I breathed, heart hammering in my chest.
‘We don’t have to do anything,’ he added, voice thick and gruff, eyes locked on mine. ‘We can watch a film, if you want?’
‘No.’ I shuffled closer. ‘I don’t want to do that.’
‘Are you sure?’ His eyes darkened. ‘We could play PlayStation?’
‘Johnny?’
‘Yeah, Shan?’
I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, pulling back slowly to gauge his reaction.
‘Shan.’ He was watching me with a dark expression. ‘Shan…’
Feeling brave, I did it again.
A beat passed.
His pupils grew darker.
My heart hammered harder.
‘Ah, fuck it,’ he growled and smashed his lips to mine.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I scrambled up the bed, taking him with me. Falling onto my back, Johnny’s lips never left mine as his weight came down hard on me, pressing my body deep into his luxurious mattress. Unwilling to detach my body from his, I wrapped my legs around his waist.
‘We shouldn’t do this,’ he whispered over and over against my lips, but he wasn’t stopping and I knew I never would, as I attacked his lips with a desperate hunger of my own. The way he kissed me, like my lips and mouth were the only thing that mattered to him in that moment… It was addictive and intoxicating.
Sliding my hands from his neck to his chest, I ripped at the buttons of his black shirt, desperate to feel the heat of his bare skin pressed against me.
‘Shan,’ he groaned into my mouth, hips thrusting against me. ‘What are you doing, baby?’
‘Please,’ I begged, clumsily snapping the buttons open until the fabric parted like the Red Sea. ‘Just…take it off.’
‘Fuck…’ Breaking our kiss, Johnny sank back on his knees and made short work of his shirt, dragging it off his body. I took that as my opportunity to remove my jacket. Tossing it aside to join his shirt on his bedroom floor, I flopped back down, with my dress pooled at my waist, begging him with my eyes to just keep going. Hormones invaded my mind, kicking my common sense out the window and taking hold of the steering wheel of my brain, letting me know that my virginity was in serious danger of evaporating tonight.
Kneeling between my legs, wearing only his jeans and with his hair sticking up in forty different directions from our antics, Johnny looked down at me all fluffed out on his pillows and exhaled a sharp breath. ‘I’m keeping you, Shannon Lynch.’
‘Really?’ I breathed, staring up at his swollen lips and wanting just one more taste.
‘Really,’ he confirmed, eyes locked on mine. Shrugging almost helplessly, he offered me a crooked grin, giving me a tiny glimpse of vulnerability and making me fall deeper for him. I was stumbling further into the black abyss of the unknown with this boy, with no safety net to break my fall. Pressing the brakes wouldn’t make a blind bit of difference because my heart was in the driver’s seat and powering ahead without thought for consequences.
‘Are you sure you don’t want to play GTA?’ Johnny offered then, tone thick and gruff. He playfully walked his fingers up my bare thigh, skimming the edge of my knickers. ‘I might beat you this time.’ Just when I thought he was going to move his fingers higher, when everything inside of me was screaming at him to move his fingers higher, he pulled his hand back to rest on my thigh again. ‘What do you say? Hmm? Do you want a rematch, Shannon like the river?’
I shook my head, my breathing hard and uneven. ‘No.’
‘No?’ He arched a brow, smirk still firmly in place. ‘Then what do you want from me?’
Finding a bravery I only seemed to have when he was with me, I pulled myself up on my elbows and whispered, ‘I want you to finish what you started.’
The blue in his eyes darkened, and the smile he was wearing turned almost feral, as he grabbed my thighs and dragged my body closer to his. ‘I always finish what I start.’ Resting his weight on one elbow, he hovered above my body, with his lips so close to mine that I could feel his breath. ‘But we’re not going there.’ He pressed a drugging kiss to my lips before burying his face in my neck. ‘Not yet.’ Nuzzling my neck, he pressed a trail of hot, wet kisses up my neck, his tongue sweeping out to taste me, to claim me with leisurely swipes that I felt in every nerve ending in my body. Nestling between my legs, he didn’t make any further move, he just continued to kiss me with hot swiping flicks of his tongue, destroying me with his weight alone.
‘Really?’ I practically cried as my fingers dug into the hard ridges of his waist. ‘You’re sure?’
Groaning, Johnny nodded. ‘I’m sure.’ His hand moved from my hair to my hip, shifting our bodies into the perfect alignment, and the move caused a moan to tear from my throat. He responded to my small gasp of surprised pleasure with a low growl of approval of his own. ‘But I can do other things for you.’ He brushed his lips against mine almost lovingly before pulling back to gauge my reaction. ‘If you want me to?’
My pulse skyrocketed and I blew out a ragged breath, nodding up at him.
His eyes blazed with heat as he lowered his lips to mine. ‘I promise I’ll make you feel good,’ he whispered between kisses. ‘Just tell me if you don’t want it, or if I’m moving too fast and I’ll stop, okay?’
‘Don’t stop,’ I strangled out, hands shooting out to clutch his shoulders. ‘Please.’
Johnny chuckled softly. ‘I haven’t started yet.’
‘I don’t care,’ I breathed. ‘Don’t ever stop.’
Rearing back on his knees once more, Johnny stared down at me. Breathing hard and fast, I remained on my back, overloaded with adrenalin and lust, as I watched him watch me for the longest time. The anticipation of the unknown was making me feel faint and all I wanted to do was drag him back down on top of me, but I stopped myself, knowing that I had no clue of how to progress from here, just that I desperately wanted to.
‘You’re so fucking beautiful,’ he whispered, with a small shake of his head. ‘Jesus.’ Trailing a finger over my cheek, he leaned down and kissed me. His hand trailed down my neck, moving lower and lower until his thumb brushed over my nipple. ‘I love you,’ he whispered, and then he was cupping my breast in his hand, gently stroking his thumb over the fabric of my dress as my nipple hardened to the point of being painful. ‘Is this okay?’ he asked against my lips as he continued to touch me.
‘Johnny – ‘ Shivering violently, I arched into his touch, kissing him almost frantically. ‘So much okay.’
His hand moved lower, fingers grazing over my hipbone, before his hand settled on the front of my knickers. ‘What about this?’ Stroking his nose against mine, he slipped his hand inside my underwear and cupped me there. ‘Is this okay?’
My body jerked beneath him, hips bucking, and I nodded like a mad person. ‘Don’t stop.’
Exhaling a ragged breath, he slipped his tongue into my mouth at the same time he slid one finger inside me.
Careful not to moan too loudly and alert his Mam as to what we were getting up to in his bedroom, I let my legs fall open, welcoming his touch, as I plastered my lips to his, clinging to his broad shoulders for all I was worth as I shuddered beneath him.
‘I want you,’ he growled into my mouth, as he worked his finger inside me, moving slowly, in and out, deep and drugging. ‘More than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my entire life.’ Kissing me hard, he pulled out only to push a second finger inside me. ‘Fuck, you’re so wet, baby.’ Trembling, I clung to him, bucking my hips excitedly. ‘So fucking tight… shite, is this okay?’
‘It’s okay, Johnny, it’s okay,’ I practically screamed as I dragged his lips back to mine, bucking my body in encouragement. ‘Just stop asking stupid questions and keep going!’
Chuckling against my lips, Johnny crooked his fingers, doing something inside of my body that was entirely unfamiliar but oh so welcome. I felt a tightening sensation in my core as a blast of white-hot heat crept up my body. It was a feeling that I wanted to chase down, some basic, primal instinct inside of me demanding I do so.
Bucking my hips, I moved against his hand, hunting down that feeling. His lips came down on mine, muffling my cries, as he moved his fingers faster inside of me, taking me further, pushing my body to the point of no return.
Helpless to sensation, I clutched his broad shoulders and clung to him, trusting him with everything I had inside of me. When his tongue entered my mouth, sweeping over mine with the same rhythm as his fingers, I couldn’t hold on, or else, I just couldn’t hold back. Whatever it was, it felt like I was crashing over a cliff. I couldn’t explain it but my body went lax and I jolted violently beneath him as what I could only describe as ripples of ecstasy shot through my body.
‘Jesus,’ I cried out, tearing my lips from his as my entire body jerked violently. ‘What’s happening – oh my god!’
‘Shh,’ he coaxed, kissing my neck. ‘Just ride it out.’ He suckled on my neck. ‘Enjoy it.’
‘Uh.’ Clenching my eyes shut, I allowed myself to absorb what I was feeling. ‘Okay…’
‘You like that, Shan?’ he whispered in my ear, pumping his fingers in and out, prolonging the seizure induced pleasure wrecking me. ‘Coming on my fingers?’ He kissed me again, harder this time. ‘Because I fucking love it.’
Oh my god…
When I finally stopped shaking, Johnny slid his fingers out of me, and I thought he was going to roll off me, but he didn’t. Instead, he grabbed my hips and settled between my legs once again, rocking his hips against me, causing another blast of tingling shockwaves to erupt inside of me. I could feel his erection pressing against me; so hard it was terrifying. The friction from his jeans as he ground his body against mine was too much. Crying out, I slipped my hands into the waistband of his jeans and pulled him closer, wanting with everything I had to just fall into this boy and never come back out again.
Johnny grabbed my hands and dragged them above my head, holding both of my hands down on the pillow above my head with one of his. His free hand moved to my hip as he continued to grind against me, lips fused together, his tongue massaging mine with almost wild, uncontrolled, lust-filled thrusts. Gasping against his lips, I hooked my legs around his waist, moving with him instinctively with every thrust of his hips.
Bang, bang, bang…
‘Johnny!’ Mrs. Kavanagh’s voice came from the other side of the door as another loud knock sounded. ‘I thought I told you to keep this door open.’
My eyes sprang open in horror and I froze. ‘Oh my god.’
‘Jesus Christ,’ Johnny groaned, breaking the kiss with a panting breath. Roughly clearing his throat, he called out, ‘We’re watching the bleeding film, Ma!’
‘Well, now I’m up here, you can open the door and let me see you,’ his mother called back.
‘Give me a minute!’ Rolling off me, Johnny flopped onto his stomach and muttered a string of curses into the duvet before climbing off the bed. ‘I’m sorry about her,’ he grumbled as he watched me scramble off the bed and readjust my clothes.
‘It’s fine,’ I choked out, feeling mortified as I pushed down my dress and straightened my ponytail. ‘Don’t worry about it.’
‘Hey – you okay?’ he asked, watching me with concern. ‘Shan?’
‘I’m just…’ I looked around his room and shrugged helplessly. ‘I don’t know how to act now.’ Clasping my hands together, I gestured to his bed and sighed. ‘I’m…embarrassed.’
Johnny smirked and closed the space between us. ‘Was it okay?’ he asked, voice low and husky, as he smoothed a hand over my hair and tipped my chin up. ‘What I did…did you like it?’
I nodded, cheeks reddening. ‘Yeah.’
‘Then don’t be shy with me,’ he whispered, stroking my chin with his thumb. ‘And don’t be embarrassed, either. I love you, okay?’
‘I love you, too,’ I whispered, burying my face in his chest.
‘The door, Jonathon!’ Mrs. Kavanagh barked, knocking repeatedly on the other side of the door. ‘Now!’
‘All right,’ Johnny roared back. ‘Jesus Christ, I’m coming, Ma!’
‘That’s what I’m afraid of,’ his mother shot back. ‘Now open up.’
