Yeah, I was in trouble. The girl sitting in the passenger seat of my car was proof of that.
Shannon’s phone was blowing up – had been for the past twenty minutes. I knew I was going to get the blame for keeping her out tonight, I knew I was going to get threatened, I knew a million other disastrous things would be waiting for me once I pulled onto her street, but I couldn’t find it in me to worry. Screw worrying, I was fucking delighted with myself.
My uneventful Saturday had somehow morphed into Saturday night with my girlfriend on her back, and my fingers inside her. Jesus Christ, the sounds she made when she came around me would haunt me.
I didn’t want to give her back, but I also didn’t want to make her suffer the third degree from my mother. I went too far tonight. I knew it, but I couldn’t regret it, because she was just…mind-blowing. Honest to god, I was in so far with her that I knew I would drown. They might as well lock me up now, because I was done for.
Shannon’s knees were bopping restlessly as she stared out the windscreen of the car, watching the other cars whizz past us. I wanted to put her at ease, but I had no way of doing that. It wasn’t like I was going to be invited inside for tea and biscuits when I walked her to the door. More like threats and handcuffs.
‘I hope Joey’s home,’ Shannon said, dragging me from my thoughts.
‘Hmm?’
‘Joey,’ she repeated, cracking her knuckles. ‘I really hope he’s at home.’
Reaching over, I took one of her hands in mine and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She was trembling and it was making me feel murderous. ‘He’ll be there,’ I told her, praying like hell that I was right. For reasons I would never fully understand, Shannon was close to Joey. In her mindset, he was as good as a god. I didn’t ask too much about it because I was scared of the answers. Some of the things she had told me about her childhood terrified me. I didn’t want to hear about what they had endured because I didn’t trust my reactions. It was the worst feeling in the world, feeling helpless, and I didn’t cope well with helplessness. Thinking about how that was exactly how Shannon had felt for most of her life made my chest constrict.
The minute I pulled up outside the house of fucking horrors and cut the engine, the sound of screaming filled my ears. Jesus, what was wrong with their neighbors? I could hear the carnage from the garden wall.
‘Uh…’ Swallowing deeply, Shannon tucked her hair behind her ears and moved to unfasten her seatbelt. ‘Thanks for a great evening.’ She gave me a bright smile and reached for the carrier bag she had placed in my car earlier. ‘I had the best time, Johnny.’
‘Whoa, stop – ‘ I reached over and closed the car door she had opened. ‘Don’t do that.’
‘Don’t do what?’
‘Pretend we’re both deaf and can’t hear what’s going on inside that house.’
Shannon sagged in her seat. ‘I don’t know what to say.’ She pressed a hand to her forehead. ‘It’s nothing out of the usual for us.’ Sighing heavily, she added, ‘It’s probably because of me.’ She glanced over at the house and then down at her lap. ‘Because I went out.’
Yeah, fuck that.
Unfastening my seatbelt, I climbed out of the car and walked around to her side. ‘What are you doing?’ Shannon asked, looking all panicked, as she scrambled out of the car with her bag fisted tightly in her small hand. ‘Johnny?’
‘I’m walking you to your door,’ I told her, trying to keep the anger out of my voice. ‘And I’m making sure you’re okay.’
‘I’m okay,’ she hurried to say.
‘And I want to make sure you stay that way,’ I told her as I took her hand in mine. ‘So, let’s go.’
Shannon was a bundle of nerves as we walked to her house. By the time we reached the front door, she was visibly shaking. ‘Thanks for staying,’ she said in a small voice before pushing the door inwards.
‘Anytime,’ I replied gruffly, but my response was swallowed up by the loud shouting that greeted us.
‘Where the hell were you?’ Darren demanded, stalking from the kitchen towards us. His eyes shifted from Shannon to me and his feet faltered.
Leaning against the doorframe, I folded my arms across my chest and stared back at him.
Yeah, I’m here, fucker.
‘I went to Claire’s,’ Shannon explained, stepping inside and dropping her carrier bag on the floor. ‘Why are you all shouting?’
‘Shannon!’ Her mother strangled out, rushing from the kitchen. ‘Why did you do that?’
‘Do what?’ Shannon replied, tone harder than I was used to hearing. ‘I went for a walk to my friend’s house. There’s no law against it, Mam.’
Pride roared to life inside of me.
Go on, baby. Don’t let them push you around.
‘And where does he fit into this walk?’ her mother demanded, slurring her words a little. ‘And those clothes?’
I arched a brow and studied her closer. Bleary eyed, swaying from side to side, and slurring her words. Christ, she was hammered. I squinted my eyes, taking her measure. Or is she high?
‘Are you drunk?’ Shannon asked, voicing my thoughts aloud.
‘No,’ her mother strangled out. ‘I’m after my tablets.’
High, I mentally confirmed. High as a kite on valium or some other sedative by the looks of it.
‘Where are your kids?’ The words were out of my mouth before I had a chance to filter them. Three pairs of eyes landed on my face, and being the absolute glutton for punishment that I was, I decided to go with it. ‘Tadhg, Ollie, and Sean.’
‘My children are in bed,’ Mrs. Lynch hissed, glaring daggers at me. ‘Which is exactly where Shannon should be.’
‘Shannon’s not a child,’ I replied, forcing myself to speak and not roar at this woman like I so badly wanted to. I had a feeling she didn’t work on the same frequency as the rest of us and shouting was the only way to get through to her, but I refrained. ‘She’s going on seventeen. She is her own person, with her own friends, and her own mind, and you need to step back and stop trying to smother her in your fucked-up attempt to make up for not protecting her when she actually needed you to.’
‘Excuse me?’ Mrs. Lynch choked out, clutching her chest.
‘You heard me,’ I told her. ‘You were shouting and roaring so loud, we could hear you from the street. You have the gall to throw shit at her while you’re off your face on tablets with three small children upstairs?’ I shook my head. ‘You’re a disgrace.’
‘Back the fuck off, Johnny!’ Darren snarled. ‘You have no idea what you’re talking about.’
‘I know a lot more than you think,’ I sneered. ‘And you’re all quick to judge me, when not one of you are in the position to throw stones.’
‘Johnny,’ Shannon croaked out, eyes wide. ‘It’s okay.’
‘It’s not okay, Shan,’ I said gruffly. ‘It needed to be said.’
‘Get off my property, or I’ll have you done for trespassing.’ Shannon’s mother warned before bursting into tears and running back into the kitchen. I felt a smidgen of guilt rush through me, but not enough to take back what I had said. The truth had a bitch of a sting to it sometimes.
‘You heard her,’ Darren said coldly, glaring at me. ‘And don’t come back around here, Johnny.’
‘Darren,’ Shannon strangled out. ‘Don’t say that.’
Another Lynch popped up then, but this one came from behind me. ‘Kav,’ Joey acknowledged in a friendly enough tone as he strolled up the overgrown path in a pair of mechanic overalls, face covered in grease, and a plastic lunchbox dangling from his hand. He slapped a hand on my shoulder as he passed by. ‘Causing more shit?’
‘The usual amount,’ I replied evenly.
‘I bet,’ he mused. ‘Alright, Shan.’ Ruffling her ponytail, he roughly shoved Darren out of his way. ‘You coming in or are you just going to stand there leaving the cold out?’
‘It’s the heat out,’ I muttered.
‘Maybe in your house,’ he shot back, not missing a beat, before disappearing into the kitchen.
‘He’s not coming in here,’ I heard his mother scream from the kitchen. ‘Tell him to leave!’
‘Christ, could you give it five minutes before you start the crying.’ A cupboard door slammed and Joey’s voice filled my ears again. ‘I’m tired, I’m hungry, and I just got off work.’
‘Go home,’ Darren said before closing the door in my face.
The door swung back open seconds later and Shannon popped her head out. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she whispered, eyes laced with pain. ‘I love you –’
‘Shannon, get in here!’
‘Bye, Johnny.’
And then the door slammed shut in my face again.
