I planned on dying a slow death.
The cause of my untimely demise: mortification.
Never in my life had I been so embarrassed as I was when I stepped through that kitchen doorway and came face to face with both of Johnny’s parents just minutes after losing my virginity in what had been the best and then worst moment of my life.
‘I need to talk to you about something.’
‘About what?’
‘About sex, Shannon, love.’
‘Don’t do this to her,’ Johnny begged from the stool next to mine. ‘Please, Ma, I’m begging you.’ He turned to look at me. ‘Cover your ears, baby…’
Groaning loudly at the memory of Mrs. Kavanagh’s voice when she sat me down at the island for the talk, I pulled my purple duvet over my head and mentally prepared to spend the rest of my life clung to this bed because I could never leave my house again.
Worse, Johnny’s mother had insisted on driving me home alone, which meant even more one-on-one time to discuss the birds and the bees and how I was not to let her son corrupt me in any shape or form. According to Mrs. Kavanagh, all teenage boys were hormone driven dogs – her son included – and I was not to let Jonathon lead me astray.
Too late for that, I thought to myself as I curled into the smallest ball I could and sighed. I felt really bad, because even though it had been my idea, Johnny was the one who had taken the brunt of his mother’s wrath, all while his father smirked into his newspaper, nodding and agreeing whenever prompted by his wife. In Mrs. Kavanagh’s eyes, he was older and possessed the penis, therefore, he was the one who should have known better. I had no clue what to say or do when she started lecturing us both about how private-parts were private and not for sharing with each other. It was so humiliating, and hours later, my face was still on fire.
Unlocking my limbs enough to stretch my arm out and grab my phone off the nightstand, I pulled it back under the sanctuary of my duvet and checked the time, only to groan when I saw that it was gone two o’ clock in the morning.
Go to sleep, Shannon, I mentally coaxed. Just turn off your brain and stop overthinking.
Tap, tap, tap…
Stiffening, I held perfectly still and listened carefully.
Tap, tap, tap.
Springing up in my bed, I looked around my dark bedroom, illuminated by the street lamp outside, and tried to source the root of the noise.
Tap, tap, tap.
My gaze locked on the window.
Tap, tap, tap.
Throwing off my covers, I scrambled out of bed and inhaled a steadying breath before pulling back the curtains.
My mouth fell open and my heart kickstarted in my chest when my eyes landed on the huge boy balancing on the veranda outside my window.
‘Johnny!’ I gasped, as I pushed my window open and stared at him in pure shock. ‘How did you get up here?’
‘I climbed up on your wheelie bin,’ he strangled out as he lunged for the window sill. ‘Let me in before I die.’
Hurrying to step aside for him, I watched as he climbed through the window, landing on my bedroom floor with a loud thud. ‘What about your dick?’ I croaked out, eyes glued to him.
‘Fuck my dick,’ Johnny grumbled, standing up. ‘I couldn’t leave things like that after my Ma – which, by the way, I am so fucking sorry about. I don’t even know where to start on fixing that mess.’ Shaking his head, he closed the space between us and pressed a kiss to my cheek. ‘Hi, Shannon. You smell fucking great,’ he said in a hushed tone before quickly delving back into his rant. ‘I don’t know what the hell happened to me back in my room, Shan. I always lock my door –’ he paused and quickly tested my door before nodding in approval. ‘I don’t even know how I went from helping you with shaving burn to taking your virginity, but I’m so fucking sorry.’ He moved to pace my floor but quickly stilled when he realized there was barely enough room to swing a cat. ‘I wanted it to be good for you and then I – and she – and I just – fucking chicken balls!’ Exhaling a huge sigh, he added, ‘I know I’m not supposed to be here, but I had to keep my promise.’
I stared at him in confusion. ‘What promise?’
‘I told you when we slept together, we would sleep together,’ he said gruffly. ‘And I know I made a balls of the first part.’ With a vulnerable look in his eyes, Johnny shrugged and gestured to my tiny bed. ‘But do you think you can fit me in for the second part?’
Oh God.
This boy.
My heart.
Stepping around him, I climbed onto my bed and pulled back the covers. ‘Yeah.’ Nodding, I exhaled a shaky breath and whispered, ‘Come here.’
Stripping down to his boxers in record time, Johnny climbed into bed alongside me, wrapping his big body around mine so that we were chest to back. ‘I swear, I’m not looking for anything,’ he whispered, pressing a kiss to my shoulder as he spooned me. ‘I just need to hold you.’
‘You didn’t make a balls of anything, Johnny,’ I whispered, nestling my back to his warm chest. ‘It was great.’
He was quiet for a long moment before asking, ‘Are you sore, Shan?’ Tightening his arm around me, he nestled his face in the crook of my neck and sighed. ‘Did I hurt you?’
‘No, you didn’t hurt me, and I’m not sore.’ Shivering, I clutched his forearm, wanting more than anything to just keep him with me for the rest of my life. ‘I just feel…’
‘What?’ he urged, nuzzling my ear. ‘What are you feeling?’
‘Stretched?’ I offered, biting down on my lip. ‘And a little achy, but not sore.’
‘We don’t have to do it again,’ he hurried to say. ‘Not until you’re ready.’
‘I was ready then, Johnny,’ I told him, unable to stop myself from yawning. ‘I’m still ready now.’
‘I’ve never done that before,’ he admitted quietly.
‘Done what?’
‘Taken anyone’s virginity.’ He exhaled a heavy sigh and the vibration from his chest rippled through me. ‘I was so scared of hurting you, Shan.’
‘So, I’m your first first?’ I asked sleepily.
‘You’re my everything.’
Whoa.
‘Night, Shan,’ he whispered.
I closed my eyes and grinned. ‘Night, Johnny.’
