‘I’m scared, Joe,’ I strangled out, rocking baby Ollie back and forth in my arms to stop him from sobbing. ‘What do we do?’
‘I don’t know, Shan.’ At ten years old, Joey’s voice was still boyish and unbroken. ‘But we have to do something.’
‘You do nothing,’ Darren’s emotionless voice came from the bunkbed below us. He had turned fifteen yesterday and his voice sounded like a real grown up now. ‘You stay in here and keep your mouth shut.’
‘We can’t leave her down there with him,’ Joey hissed. ‘She’s just had the baby. If he hits her, he’ll kill her!’
‘He won’t kill her,’ Darren replied, sounding frustrated. ‘But he will kill you if you go down there, idiot.’
‘Mammy,’ four-year-old Tadhg sobbed, curling into my side. ‘Mammy.’
‘Shh, Tadhg,’ I coaxed. Shifting baby Ollie onto my other thigh, I wrapped my arm around his chubby shoulders. ‘Mammy’s fine.’
‘She’s not fine,’ Joey choked out. ‘And he knows it.’
‘What do you want me to do, Joey?’ Darren demanded. ‘I’m trying to keep you safe!’ Rolling off his bunk, he stood up and glared at the four of us. The streetlight flooding through the window illuminated his bruised and battered face. ‘I tried to stop him and look at me –’ His voice broke and he dragged in several deep breaths. ‘They’re having…he’s trying… listen, you don’t understand what’s going on down there – you’re too small to understand – but I do, and I’m telling you to stay in bed.’
Releasing a furious growl, Joey sprang down from the top bunk and grabbed his hurley from behind the door. ‘She’s our mother,’ he hissed, staring up at Darren with narrowed eyes. ‘And if you won’t help her, I’ll do it myself!’
‘He’ll kill you,’ Darren warned, watching Joey as he unlocked the bedroom door and slung it open. ‘Don’t go down there, Joey. You don’t understand what’s happening–’
‘I don’t care what’s happening,’ Joey spat. ‘I know it’s wrong. And maybe you can listen to her crying, but I can’t!’ With that, he stormed out of the room with his hurley in tow. The sound of his footsteps thundering down the stairs had my heart leaping in my chest.
‘Stop him,’ I begged as the screaming grew louder and Tadhg cried harder. ‘Please, Darren!’
‘I can’t stop the man,’ he strangled out, sinking down on his bunk. ‘I tried…he’s too fucking strong! I can’t –’
‘Here, Tadhg, hold your baby brother.’ Shifting Ollie into Tadhg’s arms, I climbed down the ladder and charged for the staircase with Darren shouting, ‘Shannon, please don’t!’ after me.
I knew I shouldn’t go down there, but I had to. I couldn’t leave Joey on his own. We were the two amigos. We were supposed to stick up for each other.
Stumbling down the staircase, I hurried into the kitchen, only to skid over something wet and land hard on my bottom.
Glancing down at the pool of red I was sitting in, I shuddered in repulsion and quickly clambered to my feet, wiping my hands on my Barbie nightdress. I didn’t like blood. It always made me feel sick.
‘You little bastard,’ Dad roared, dragging my attention away from the blood.
My gaze automatically locked on my father and fear spiraled inside of me so strong, I felt faint. He was standing in the middle of the kitchen and he was bleeding. Thick, oozy blood was dripping down the side of his face and he looked furious. His jeans were hanging open, something I found very strange. What was he doing with his jeans open?
‘Look at ya,’ Dad sneered, glowering at Joey. ‘A little fucking mammy’s boy!’
‘Get the fuck away from my mother,’ Joey hissed as he stood in front of our mother and stared back at Dad. He was gripping his bloodied hurley in both hands, stance protective. ‘Or the next time, I’ll kill ya!’
Dad laughed cruelly. ‘Do you think you’re a big, tough man now, boy?’
‘Do you?’ Joey shot back, not missing a beat. ‘Pushing her around? Making her do that! Does that make you feel like a man?’
‘Joey,’ I strangled out, panicking. ‘Joe –’
‘Go back upstairs, Shan,’ Joey instructed, tightening his grip on his hurley, never once taking his eyes off Dad. ‘I’ve got this.’ His cheek was swollen and red, but his eyes were blazing with fury, not fear.
I didn’t know how he could do this.
How could he be so fearless?
‘Mammy,’ I sobbed when I saw her on her hands and knees behind Joey, clothes torn, face so swollen I could hardly see her eyes. Her jeans were on the floor and her t-shirt was ripped down the front. I could see her private parts. I didn’t understand any of this. Why was she naked? Why was there a bottle of baby milk spilled on the floor beside her? ‘Mammy–’
‘Go back to bed, Shannon,’ Mam sobbed as she scrambled to cover herself up. ‘I’m okay, baby.’
She wasn’t okay.
I was only eight years old, but I knew that none of this was okay.
‘Leave him alone, Teddy,’ Mam choked out, curling a hand around Joey’s ankle. ‘He’s just a boy.’
‘He’s a fucking mistake,’ Dad roared. ‘They’re all mistakes– and you’re the biggest one of the lot, Marie.’
‘Then just go,’ she wept. ‘Leave us be.’
‘What did you say to me?’ Dad asked, voice deathly cold.
‘N-nothing,’ Mam mumbled.
‘Say it again,’ Dad ordered.
‘I didn’t say anything,’ she strangled out. ‘I’m sorry.’ Cowering on the floor, she shook violently. ‘You know I love you.’
‘That’s better,’ he sneered. ‘Remember your fucking place, woman.’
‘You don’t need to say sorry to him, Mam,’ Joey growled, chest heaving from temper. ‘He’s the mistake.’
‘You little shit.’ Wiping the blood from his face, Dad stalked towards Joey. ‘I’m going to put manners on you –’ His words broke off when Joey took another swing at him, slamming the hurley into the other side of his face. ‘Jesus Christ, boy!’ he howled, clutching the other side of his head. ‘You’re a lunatic.’
‘If I’m a lunatic then you’re the fucking devil,’ Joey hissed, tightening his grasp on his hurley once more. ‘Come at me again, old man. I fucking dare ya!’
‘Joey,’ Mam wept. ‘Please just go to bed…’
‘Are you serious?’ Joey strangled out. ‘He was trying to make you –’
‘Just go to bed, baby,’ she sobbed. ‘You’re only making everything worse.’
‘Worse?’ Joey spluttered, looking wounded. ‘I’m trying to protect you!’
‘What the fuck are you looking at?’ Dad demanded, noticing me standing there. ‘Did I say you could come down those stairs, girl?’
Panicked, I shook my head and backed up until my back hit the fridge. ‘N-no, Daddy.’
‘Then what are you doing down here?’ he slurred, taking a menacing stagger towards me. ‘You think you’re a hero like that little cunt?’ His hand shot out, gripping my arm. ‘You want to take a swing at me, too?’ He shook me roughly, causing my head to snap back. ‘Mark my words, Marie, this runt will be as bad as you.’
‘Get your hands off my sister,’ Joey snarled, rushing at Dad.
Unlike before, Dad was ready for him. Keeping one hand wrapped around my arm, he caught Joey by the throat. ‘You’re a fiery little fucker,’ Dad hissed, squeezing Joey’s throat hard enough to make him drop his hurley to pull at Dad’s hand. ‘Yeah, that’s right, boy. You’re not strong enough to take me on yet.’
‘Back off,’ Darren’s voice filled the air, commanding and deep, as he thundered into the kitchen. His eyes went straight to Mam and a shudder rolled through him. ‘You’re a fucking monster,’ he strangled out.
‘Get out of here, Darren,’ Dad barked. ‘You have a match in the morning.’
‘A match?’ Darren shook his head in outrage. ‘Let them go.’ His hands were balled into fists at his sides and he was shaking violently. ‘They’re only children.’
‘Then they should be in bed,’ Dad barked. ‘Not down here, interfering in my business.’
‘Fu..ck y…ou,’ Joey strangled out, kicking and lashing at our father. ‘Ass…hole.’
‘Well shit.’ Dad laughed and shook his head. ‘This one –’ he inclined his head toward the son whose throat he was clutching, ‘Has more balls than brains.’
‘Let them go,’ Darren repeated coldly. ‘If you want me at that match tomorrow, you better take your hands off those kids.’
Dad stared at him for a long moment before releasing Joey and me. ‘It’ll be a good match,’ he said, doing a complete one-eighty. ‘We should win,’ he added. ‘If you’re on form.’
Coughing and spluttering, Joey charged for our father again, but Darren blocked his way. ‘Go to bed.’
Tears filled Joey’s eyes. ‘But he just –’
‘Take Shannon and go to bed,’ Darren repeated, giving Joey a hard look. ‘Now.’
Furious, Joey looked to our mother. ‘Don’t do this, Mam,’ he begged. ‘Don’t brush this under the table.’
‘Do what he said, Joey,’ she sniffled, offering him a small smile. ‘Everything’s going to be okay.’
‘No,’ Joey choked out, ‘It won’t be.’ Reaching for my hand, he dragged me to the door. ‘He’s going to leave us, Shannon,’ he whispered, low enough so that only I could hear him. ‘He’ll be gone soon.’
‘Daddy?’ I asked, hopeful.
‘No.’ Joey shook his head, half-dragging me up the staircase. ‘Darren.’
‘Darren won’t leave us,’ I replied, feeling sick at the thought. ‘He said he’d never leave us.’
‘I saw it,’ Joey hissed. ‘In his eyes. He’s going to leave. He doesn’t care, Shannon. He’s just waiting until he finishes school and then he’ll be gone.’
I shook my head. ‘But he can’t go…’
‘Don’t worry,’ he said, stopping outside his bedroom door. ‘No matter what happens, we’ll stick together.’
‘You promise…’
Jerking awake with a start on Monday morning, I kicked the bed covers off my sweat-soaked body and just laid there, still as a statue, waiting for my pounding heart to return to its normal rhythm. The back of my neck was slick with sweat and I could feel the cold beads trickling down my skin. Shivering, I focused on one singular spot on my bedroom ceiling and breathed in and out, deep and slow, until my heart stopped trying to thrash its way out of my ribcage.
Every night since coming home from the hospital, I’d woken up to the exact same nightmare. Memory, my brain reminded me. They’re only nightmares if they’re not real.
Why my brain seemed to be stuck on one specific night eight years ago was obvious, and the fear of the unknown had me paralyzed to my mattress most mornings, drenched in a cold sheen of sweat, and burning in my own personal hell.
In the throes of my panic, I came to the conclusion that my brother was psychic. It was either that, or he was a living, breathing lie detector, because everything Joey had ever predicted, good, bad, or indifferent, down through the years had come to pass. He had this spooky ability to look at a situation, feel out the lies, taste the danger, and then submit his prediction with crushing words and eerie accuracy.
Like Joey predicted, Darren was beginning to crack under the pressure of living under this roof. He was withdrawing from the family life, and was taking more and more extended work trips to Belfast. We hadn’t even met his boyfriend, Alex, which only proved to me that he had no intention of blending his real life in Belfast with his temporary one in Cork.
Patricia and her team of social workers had scaled back on their visits. Content with our progress, they popped in once every couple of weeks rather than every other day – like Joey predicted.
And just like Joey predicted, our father was currently walking around Ballylaggin a free man. It had been a couple of weeks since Dad and Johnny’s confrontation outside the cinema, and while the piece of paper downstairs in the kitchen assured us that he couldn’t come back here, the woman who birthed me gave me room for pause.
Everything was changing, my life was in a spin, and the only thing that seemed to be still and calming in the middle of the carnage was the boy whose t-shirt I was wearing. My phone pinged then, right on time, and I practically fell out of bed in my rush to swipe it off the charger. Every time I heard my phone vibrate or saw the screen light up, I was immediately attacked by an onslaught of butterflies in my stomach. My heart fluttered. My palms turned slick from sweat. I was completely enraptured with him. It wasn’t good or safe or sensible, but it was exactly how I felt – and I craved the danger. I longed for the text messages and secret meetings. I longed for him.
J: Leaving the gym now, baby. Be with you in 30. x
Excitement thrummed in my veins, making it hard to keep my hands steady enough to tap out a text.
S: How did it go? Are you sore? Were you careful? x
I clutched my phone to my chest and waited impatiently. Less than a minute later, my phone sounded.
J: All good. Stop worrying. x
I couldn’t help it. I was worried. I was always worried about him. My phone sounded again.
J: Stop… x
Smiling like a dope, I tapped out another text.
S: I can’t help it. x
J: You can give me a thorough examination when I get there. Just to put your mind at ease. 😉
S: Wow, you’re so thoughtful. 😛
J: Driving now. See you soon. x
S: Okay. x
J: Show me your tits.
I laughed loudly at the message on the screen.
S: Nice try, Gibsie.
J: Fuck! Hey Little Shannon.
Setting my phone down, I hurried out of my room and dove into the shower before any of my brothers could get in there. Pulling my hair up in a messy bun to keep it dry, I lathered myself up with body wash, and let my mind wander. Like usual, my thoughts automatically drifted to Johnny.
Always Johnny…
Today was May 9th, the second week of summer, and as the days were growing longer, my feelings were growing predominantly stronger for him. Saturday night changed everything for me. Being with him in that way made it all feel so much deeper now. My feelings for him threatened to overthrow all common sense…
‘Shannon!’ Mam’s voice filled my ears as she rapped against the bathroom door. ‘I thought we made it clear that you were to travel with Darren to and from school.’
Excitement bubbled up inside of me.
He’s here.
Switching off the shower, I wrapped a towel around my body and hurried back to my bedroom to get dressed, dutifully ignoring my mother as I went. Slamming my bedroom door shut in her face, I dressed in record time, pulling my hair out of its bun and dragging a hairbrush through it. Sliding my phone into my shirt pocket, I slipped on my shoes, grabbed my schoolbag, and swung my door open once more.
‘When I ask you a question, I expect an answer,’ Mam said, standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips. ‘What is he doing here?’
‘He picks me up for school every morning,’ I reminded her. ‘You already know this.’ Or at least you would know if you weren’t at work or in bed all the time.
‘And you already know that you’re supposed to go with Darren,’ Mam shot back, brows furrowed.
Resisting the urge to roll my eyes at her, I stepped around her and moved for the bannister. While Mam had given up on the Garda threats, Johnny was in no way tolerated or welcome in our home. She didn’t acknowledge him or our relationship. She pretended he didn’t exist at all, which was fine by me because I was doing the same thing with her.
‘Shannon Lynch!’
‘Bye,’ I called back, thundering down the staircase, my smile widening with every step I took that moved me closer to the front door. To him.
‘You know you’re supposed to come with me,’ Darren began to say as he emerged from the kitchen with a bowl of cereal in his hands. It was a half-hearted effort from him, though. He didn’t really care whether I drove with Johnny or not. He was just reciting the usual blah-blah-blah. ‘It makes no sense for him to drive half an hour out of his way –’
‘See ya,’ I called out, yanking the front door open and rushing outside into the early morning sunshine.
My step faltered when my eyes landed on Johnny sitting on my garden wall, his car keys dangling between his fingers. He wasn’t wearing his school jumper – nothing new there – and his shirt was untucked, his tie loose, making him look deliciously disheveled. He was scowling at the front of my house, but the moment he noticed me, a lazy smile crept across his face.
‘Shannon like the river,’ he purred, hopping down to his feet. Gesturing to his body, he winked. ‘I’m here for your inspection.’
Grinning, I closed the space between us, forcing myself to walk to him and not run like I so badly wanted to. ‘Hi, Johnny.’
‘Hi, Shan,’ he replied, pressing a kiss to my lips before slinging an arm over my shoulder. ‘All set?’
Nodding, I slipped my arm around his waist and sighed in contentment as we walked to his car, feeling right for the first time since last night. ‘Good to go.’
‘Shannon!’ Mam stepped outside, wrapping her dressing gown around her. ‘Can I have a word?’
Tensing up, I spun around and begged her with my eyes not to say anything. ‘About what?’
Mam cast a scathing look to Johnny before focusing on me. ‘In private.’ She inclined her head towards the front door. ‘Now.’
‘I need to go,’ I replied shakily, knowing full well that if I went back inside, I wouldn’t be going to school today. ‘We can talk later.’ Except we wouldn’t because I had no intention of having this conversation with her. ‘Bye.’
‘Shannon,’ she repeated, this time in a warning tone. ‘Come inside now.’
I stiffened. ‘I am going to school. I have three weeks left before the summer holidays and I’m not missing any days, Mam. I have my junior cert coming up.’
‘Not with him,’ Mam bit out. ‘You’re not going anywhere with him.’
‘He has a name,’ I shot back, mortified that Johnny was seeing and hearing this. Steeling my spine, I narrowed my eyes at her. ‘It’s Johnny, and he’s my boyfriend.’
‘You have no respect,’ Mam hissed, turning her anger on Johnny. ‘You’re a horrible boy.’
Johnny sighed wearily. ‘I’m not on your property, Mrs. Lynch.’ Keeping his tone politer than she deserved, he added, ‘I know you don’t like me, but I’m not breaking any law here.’
‘I told you to stay away from my daughter,’ Mam strangled out, shaking now. ‘And you won’t listen.’
‘Mam –’
‘With all due respect, I have my own Ma to tell me what to do,’ he replied evenly. ‘I’m here for Shannon, not you, so you can like me or not, but either way, you might as well get used to seeing me, because I’m not going anywhere.’
Mam’s face reddened. ‘If you so much as think about putting –’
‘Don’t worry, Shannon’s Mammy.’ A blond head popped through the sun roof of the Audi, with a shit eating grin attached to it. Grinning widely, Gibsie waggled his brows and said, ‘He’ll take good care of your little girl,’ before disappearing back into the car and cranking the stereo to the max. Popping back up once more, he threw himself into the chorus of Madonna’s Like A Virgin, as he sang at the top of his lungs and made suggestive hand movements, all directed at my mother.
‘Jesus Christ,’ Johnny groaned, shaking his head. ‘I’m going to kill him.’
Mam’s mouth fell open as she gaped in horror at Gibsie.
‘Gerard!’ Claire’s blonde head popped up through the sunroof. ‘You’re so tacky.’
‘You know you’re the only virgin I want to touch,’ he told her with a suggestive waggle of his brows.
‘Gerard!’
‘Just let me know when you want me to do that – for the very first time,’ he added.
‘That would be never,’ she shot back, blushing. ‘You big mope!’
He arched a brow, giving her a look that screamed bullshit.
I took my mother’s momentary distraction by Gibsie as mine and Johnny’s opportunity to get away before another blazing row erupted. ‘Let’s go.’ Grabbing Johnny’s hand, I half-dragged him to his car. Yanking the passenger door open, I practically dove inside, slamming the door behind me.
‘Hey girl!’ Claire chirped from the backseat. ‘Sorry about him,’ she added, pointing to the lower half of Gibsie that wasn’t wedged in the sunroof. ‘I don’t know what to say.’
‘Yeah,’ Feely, who was sitting in the back, nodded solemnly. ‘We’d like to give you an explanation for his behavior, but honestly, I don’t think there is one.’
‘The fuck do you think you’re playing at, Gibs?’ Johnny demanded then. Diving into the driver’s seat, he slammed his door shut and revved the engine. ‘As if the woman doesn’t hate me enough –’ Tearing away from the house, he reached over and switched off the stereo. ‘You had to go and push it, and put more bleeding notions in her head!’
I wish he would put more notions in your head, Johnny Kavanagh!
‘I was using my charm,’ Gibsie laughed, lowering himself back through the sunroof. ‘Worked, too,’ he added, sinking down on the backseat between Claire and Feely. ‘Got her out, didn’t it?’
‘Oh my god,’ I choked out through fits of laughter as I fastened my seatbelt. ‘I can’t believe you just did that.’
‘I know, right?’ Gibsie shot back, grinning. ‘It was getting a little heavy for a Monday morning, and it just felt right. Like an urge or something.’
‘When things feel right in your head, they’re usually very fucking wrong,’ Johnny grumbled, looking pained. ‘Next time, repress the urge, Gibs.’
‘Whatever, lad,’ Gibsie snickered. ‘I saved you from another mother-in-law tongue lashing and you know it,’ he added, before falling into a heated debate with Claire about the appropriateness of serenading virgins.
Reaching for my hand, Johnny lifted it to his mouth and dropped a kiss to my knuckles. ‘So, listen,’ he said in a low tone, ignoring the noise coming from the backseat. ‘I wanted to ask you about something.’
‘Oh?’ Excitement thrummed in my veins and I turned in my seat to give him my full attention. ‘What?’
‘Dinner tonight.’ He cast a quick sideways glance at me before refocusing on the road. ‘At my place.’
Instantly, my anxiety piqued. ‘I don’t know, Johnny,’ I mumbled, feeling my face grow hot. ‘I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.’ It was a terrible idea. His mother was kind and warm and loving, but I doubted she wanted me back there after Saturday night. I’d seen the way she looked at me when she dropped me home; all suspicious and worried. Johnny’s words from months back were still floating around in my head.
‘My parents don’t want me going over to your place. They think it’s a bad idea…’
It didn’t take a genius to read between the lines of that statement and know that I was the bad idea.
‘It was her idea,’ Johnny said, knowing where my thoughts had gone.
My brows shot up in surprise. ‘It was?’
‘It’s true,’ Gibsie offered from the back seat. ‘Mammy K has been tormenting him to bring you home again. I heard them talking on the phone this morning. She has some big news for the two of you.’
My eyes widened. ‘Big news?’
‘Gibs!’ Johnny barked. ‘Stop fucking earwigging.’
I frowned. ‘What news?’
‘No clue,’ Johnny muttered, rubbing his jaw.
‘I’m in the same car as you, asshole,’ Gibsie growled. ‘I can clearly hear your conversation. What do want me to do? Stick my head out the window and bark at the traffic like a dog?’
‘I want you to stop listening in on my conversations,’ Johnny shot back, vein ticking in his neck. ‘Jesus!’
‘Fine.’ Holding up his hands, he leaned back in his seat. ‘I’ll say no more on the matter.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Wait – I’m invited for dinner tonight, too, right?’
‘Gibs!’
‘Am I?’
‘No.’
‘Why not?’
‘Jesus Christ, Gibs. I swear to god, I will pull this car over and you –’
‘Fine!’ Gibsie huffed. ‘I didn’t want the roast spuds anyway. My Mam’s are better.’
‘Gerard,’ Claire coaxed. ‘It’s okay. You can have dinner with me.’
‘Can I eat you?’ he asked, sounding playful once more.
‘If you’re good,’ she replied, patting his shoulder.
‘What?’ Gibsie’s voice rose so high, it was almost girlish. ‘I mean –’ he roughly cleared his throat several times before adding, ‘What?’
Feely chuckled quietly. ‘Lost for words, Gibs? That’s a first.’
‘I know, right?’ Claire giggled, using her finger to close Gibsie’s mouth. ‘I think I broke him.’
‘So, will you come tonight?’ Johnny asked, drawing my attention back to him. ‘Please? It would mean a lot to me.’
‘Okay,’ I whispered, forcing out the word when all I wanted was to say no and hide. ‘I’ll come.’
He turned to look at me and beamed. ‘Really?’
Oh god, that smile. ‘Really,’ I confirmed, heart racing. ‘If you’re sure?’
‘I’m sure,’ he replied, eyes blazing with heat.
‘I know I’m not supposed to talk to you,’ Gibsie interjected. ‘But eyes on the road, Cap. I have a very pressing dinner arrangement to get to this evening, with a tantalizing main course up for grabs, and I don’t want to be showing up dead to it.’
‘What – oh, Jesus!’ Johnny barked, swerving the wheel and narrowly avoiding the traffic coming in the opposite direction. ‘I think I ran a red light,’ he added, cheeks reddening.
‘You sure did, bulldozer,’ Gibsie mused, patting his shoulder.
‘What’s that thing he’s always saying to the lads, Gibs?’ Feely added, ‘Oh yeah; get your head out of the girl and onto the road.’
‘Funny,’ Johnny deadpanned. ‘Very funny.’
‘What are we doing for your birthday, Johnny?’ Claire asked then. ‘It’s only what – three weeks away?’
‘We?’ Johnny arched a brow. ‘I didn’t know we were ‘we’ kind of friends, Claire.’
Claire made a pssh noise. ‘Your girlfriend is my best friend, Johnny Kavanagh, which means I’m going to be at your party. I’m going to be a lot of places you are. Like your car right now. So get on board with it and tell me what you want for your present.’
‘I’m turning eighteen, not eight.’ Johnny laughed. ‘And I’m not having a party, so don’t buy me any bleeding presents.’
‘Oh yes you fucking are having a party,’ Gibsie countered. ‘A big one. With cake, cocktail sausages, and a shit ton of tequila.’
‘Tequila again?’ Feely glared at Gibsie. ‘Really?’
‘Listen, I’m not going to sit here and apologize for something that happened a million years ago,’ Gibsie huffed. ‘I puked on your dog, Feely. It was a genuine mistake. I’ve done it to Sookie a million times and you don’t see her giving me the cold shoulder. And I haven’t done it since, so can we please move past it?’
‘I don’t have a dog – that was my mother you puked on!’ Feely snapped, sounding outraged. ‘And it was last Christmas, not a million years ago, asshole.’
‘What?’ Gibsie frowned. ‘That’s was your Mam?’
‘Yes, asshole!’
‘Ah, lad, I’m so fucking sorry,’ Gibsie strangled out, slapping a hand across his mouth. ‘I thought she was a dog.’
‘Not making it any better, Gibs,’ Johnny mused, lips twitching.
‘I didn’t mean that she looks like a dog,’ Gibsie quickly corrected. ‘But she was so soft and furry –’
‘Repress it,’ Johnny ordered.
Gibsie frowned. ‘Hey, is that why your parents won’t –’
‘Won’t let you step foot inside the house anymore?’ Feely filled in, giving him a dirty look. ‘Yes, Gibs. That’s exactly why.’
An uncomfortable silence enveloped us then, one Claire thankfully broke by clearing her throat and saying, ‘Anyway, moving on from Gerard’s less than stellar regurgitation antics, I think we should do something for your eighteenth, Johnny, and if you don’t want to have a party, we could go camping.’
Johnny’s brows furrowed. ‘Camping?’
‘Camping,’ Claire confirmed, tone laced with excitement. ‘School will be over by then, the weather should be good, you all have cars, so we could go anywhere we wanted. And best of all, Shan, Lizzie and I don’t start our Junior Cert until the week after your birthday.’ Grinning, she added, ‘It’s a win-win.’
‘Babe, you’re a genius,’ Gibsie declared. ‘I fucking love camping.’
‘What do you think, Shan?’ Johnny asked, casting a sideways glance at me. ‘Would you go?’
‘Does a bear shit in the woods? Of course she’ll go!’ Gibsie answered for me. ‘Right, Little Shannon?’
‘Don’t put words in her mouth,’ Johnny growled. ‘She doesn’t have to –’
‘I’ll go,’ I blurted out, excited.
Johnny’s brows shot up. ‘You will?’
I nodded. ‘Absolutely.’
‘But your Mam…’
‘Will say no,’ I agreed, squeezing his hand. ‘But it’s your eighteenth, and I’m still going.’
‘Then it’s settled,’ Claire chimed in, clapping her hands together. ‘We’re going camping!’
