Jerking awake, I remained perfectly still and listened for the noise I was certain had woken me. A few seconds later and the familiar vibrating sound filled my ears. Shifting around, I felt for my phone, grabbing it out from under my pillow. Bleary eyed and half asleep, I clicked the accept button and put it to my ear. ‘Gibs, if this isn’t an emergency, I’m going to wring your bleeding neck.’
‘H-hi, Johnny.’
At the sound of Shannon’s voice, I was instantly alert. ‘Shannon?’ Pulling myself up on my elbows, I ran a hand through my hair and tried to blink awake. Twisting sideways, I glanced at the alarm clock on my nightstand. 01:23 it read. ‘Are you okay?’
‘No,’ her voice was so hushed it was barely audible.
‘What’s wrong?’ I demanded. ‘What’s happening?’ The sound of sniffling coming from the other end of the line had me throwing off my covers. ‘Talk to me, Shan,’ I coaxed, voice still thick from sleep, as I rummaged around in the darkness for my clothes. ‘Hmm?’
‘He’s here,’ she choked out, voice laced with fear. ‘He’s downstairs and I’m scared.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘My dad,’ she strangled out. ‘He’s in the house, Johnny.’
Fuck. ‘Can you get out?’
‘No. He’s in the kitchen. I can’t go back down there.’
Shite. ‘I’m on my way,’ I replied, snatching my keys off my desk and moving for the door. ‘I’m leaving right now.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t say sorry.’ Thundering down the staircase, I darted through the hallway. ‘Are you safe?’ Skidding across the kitchen, I bolted through the utility room and out the back door. ‘Are you in your room?’ Please tell me you’re in your room…
‘Yeah, my door’s locked.’
Thank Jesus. ‘I’m in my car now, Shan,’ I said as I unlocked my car and climbed inside. Balancing my phone between my ear and my shoulder, I turned the key in the ignition and tore off, sending gravel spraying everywhere. ‘I’ll be as fast as I can.’
‘They’re not shouting,’ she told me and the terror I could hear in her voice was crippling. ‘Why aren’t they shouting?’
‘I don’t know, baby,’ I choked out. ‘But I’m coming.’
‘Something’s wrong,’ she said in a small voice. ‘He’s different tonight. I don’t know what’s happening, Johnny, but something’s very wrong. I can feel it in my bones.’
‘I’m going to get you out of there,’ I hissed, struggling to rein in my fury. ‘I promise. I’m going to take you out of that fucking hole and you’re never going back.’
‘Johnny, I’m really scared,’ she sobbed.
‘I know.’ Using one hand to steer, I dragged my seatbelt across my chest with the other and snapped it into place. ‘I know, baby, but I’m coming.’ Gripping the wheel, I had the biggest urge to tell her that I loved her. A voice inside of my head was screaming do it now because you might not get another chance. ‘Shannon, I love you.’
‘I love you, too, Johnny,’ she whispered and then the line went dead.
‘Fuck!’ Slamming my hand down on the steering wheel, I drove like a deranged lunatic all the way to her house.
When I pulled up outside Shannon’s house half an hour later and climbed out of my car, I couldn’t stop my hands from shaking. Wholly enraged, I stalked up the overgrown garden path with every intention of kicking the fucking door down to get my girlfriend out of that house.
‘Johnny?’ Shannon’s voice filled my ears and I backtracked, gaze landing on her bedroom window on the second level of the house.
Jesus Christ.
‘Whoa, whoa, whoa –’ I held my hands up, pulse racing. ‘Don’t come out there, baby,’ I warned her, watching with my heart in my mouth as she climbed onto the windowsill and lowered herself onto the shitty veranda. I knew it was shitty because I’d almost cracked my neck climbing up there. Shannon was dressed in a pair of navy pajama shorts and vest and had a worn pair of runners on her tiny feet. No hoodie. No jacket. Nothing. ‘Just climb back in,’ I coaxed, panicking at the sight of her up there. ‘And I’ll come inside and get you.’
‘I can’t.’ She shook her head and continued to shimmy on her ass to the edge of the veranda. ‘He locked the door.’
‘Throw me down your keys,’ I called back. ‘Don’t climb down here –’
‘No, no, no, you don’t understand,’ she whispered. ‘He’s acting really strange, Johnny, and I don’t want him to know I’m leaving. Just catch me, okay?’
Ah fuck.
‘Shannon, you’re going to hurt yourself,’ I strangled out, in full-blown panic mode now. ‘You can’t climb down from there, baby. You’re too small.’
‘Don’t go near the door, Johnny,’ she begged when I moved to do just that. ‘Please! Just…just break my fall, okay?’
Furious, I bit down a snarl and walked to the edge of the path, feeling thankful as hell that I was almost 6’4. ‘Okay.’ Reaching up, I held my hands out to her, praying she had the dexterity to not trip up and break her bleeding neck. ‘Nice and slow.’
She nudged herself to the edge of the veranda and I panicked. ‘Don’t jump,’ I warned her. ‘Just drop your legs down, and I’ll grab them.’
Thankfully, Shannon listened to me and gingerly lowered her legs. ‘Good job.’ Catching ahold of her legs, I wrapped an arm around them and held my free hand up for her to take. ‘I’ve got you,’ I promised. ‘Trust me –’
I didn’t get a chance to finish my sentence, because Shannon quite literally flung herself down to me.
Catching her easily, I hooked an arm around her back and lowered her to her feet. ‘Don’t you ever do that to me again,’ I choked out, breathing hard from the almost heart-attack she gave me. ‘You could have killed yourself.’
‘Sorry,’ she whispered, burying her face in my chest. ‘Thanks for coming.’
‘Where’s Joey?’ I asked as I led her to my car.
‘He’s gone, Johnny,’ she sobbed. ‘He left.’
‘And Darren?’
‘He went to find Joey,’ she sniffled, sinking into the passenger seat. ‘It’s all gone to hell.’
‘Is your mother in there with him?’
She nodded. ‘I couldn’t do anything. He just…he just showed up and she was standing there. I was afraid so I ran and left her with him.’
‘Good,’ I told her, drowning in the relief that she had the good sense to run.
‘No, no, it’s not,’ she argued weakly, sounding confused. ‘It’s not good at all.’ Shaking her head, she pressed her fingers to her temples and exhaled a ragged breath. ‘He came upstairs to make sure I was asleep and he was being nice.’ She looked up at me, wide-eyed and terrified. ‘I don’t understand what’s happening here.’
‘Where are the boys?’
‘In their rooms.’ She dropped her head in her hands and sobbed. ‘I panicked. I should have brought them in my room with me, but I…I couldn’t think straight.’
Jesus Christ. ‘Okay.’ Trying to keep my voice calm, I pulled my phone out of my pocket. ‘I’ll call the Gards. He’s not allowed to be here. They’ll arrest him –’
‘Wh-what? Johnny no, no, no –’ Shaking her head, Shannon lunged for my phone. ‘If you call them, they’ll take us away right now,’ she choked out, panicking. ‘I’ll be sent away.’ Tears streamed down her cheeks. ‘I won’t see you again.’
‘No, you won’t,’ I tried to coax. ‘Nobody’s going to take you anywhere –’
‘You don’t understand,’ she sobbed. ‘You don’t know how it works, but I do.’
I stood there, feeling at a complete fucking loss. What the hell was I supposed to do? I couldn’t just walk away from this. ‘Shannon,’ I tried again. ‘I won’t let anyone take you. My parents said that they’ll –’
‘You don’t get it,’ she sniffled, cutting me off. ‘If the Gards come, they’ll call Patricia and the social workers.’ A huge sob racked through her frail body. ‘We’ll be removed from the house, and you won’t be able to stop that. No one will.’
‘You can’t live like this, baby,’ I choked out, feeling the anger rattle through me. ‘It has to stop.’
‘I know,’ she sobbed. ‘I just don’t know how to stop it.’
Releasing a low growl, I ran my hands through my hair and looked back to the house. ‘Listen, just stay in the car, lock all of the doors, and wait for me.’
‘Johnny –’
‘Just stay here,’ I said, trying to keep my tone gentle. ‘I need to get the boys. I can’t leave them in there with him, okay?’
‘No!’ Springing out of the car, she clutched my t-shirt. ‘He wants us all in bed. If he sees you, he’ll know I called you – he’ll know I’m not in bed – and I don’t know what he’ll do.’ She shook her head vehemently, fingers knotting tightly in my t-shirt. ‘He’s calm now, but if you go in there, he could hurt them. He could hurt you! You don’t know what he’s capable of, Johnny. You don’t!’
Red flags were shooting up all around me. ‘I won’t let him see me,’ I told her, keeping my voice steady. ‘I’ll sneak in, get the boys, and I won’t get caught. I promise. But I can’t leave them inside that house, Shannon.’
She looked torn, watching me with a pleading expression. ‘Then I’ll come with you–’
‘No, you won’t,’ I practically hissed, guiding her back into the passenger seat, my heart hammering at the thought of her going anywhere near that man. ‘Just stay in the car, baby,’ I ordered, slamming the door shut before she had a chance to respond, and hurrying back to the house.
My hands were shaking when I grabbed the wheelie bin and quietly dragged it over to the veranda. I hated heights, but not as badly as I hated this bleeding house. Climbing on top of the bin, I hoisted myself up onto the veranda, trying not to think about what I was doing, and praying Shannon had the good sense to stay in the car. Grabbing the window ledge, I hauled myself through her bedroom window, careful not to make a noise. The overwhelming stench of whiskey was the first thing that hit my senses as I quickly moved the furniture she had piled against the door.
Drunk bastard.
Every instinct inside of me demanded that I go downstairs and rip his fucking head off, but my brain was louder, screaming at me to get these kids out of this house, and take Shannon away from here.
Don’t lose it, I mentally chanted as I worked to clear my path, be smart.
You can’t protect her if you’re in a prison cell, Johnny.
Keep your goddamn head.
They’ve been through enough.
Get them out of here!
Heart hammering in my chest, I unlocked her bedroom door and slowly pulled it inwards, wincing when it creaked. The silence in the house was eerie and the hushed voices drifting up from the kitchen had me on edge. Shannon was right. Something was very wrong about this picture. Stepping over a puddle of god knows what, I crept into the landing only to freeze in terror when my eyes landed on Sean who was toddling down the steps on his bottom.
On complete impulse, driven forward by my gut instinct that was screaming danger, I whispered his name, ‘Sean.’
He paused on the turn of the staircase and looked up at me, wide-eyed and fearful, and I swear to god, my heart cracked clean open in my chest.
Smiling as brightly as I could, I waved and gestured for him to come back up to me. Horrified didn’t begin to cover the feeling that engulfed me when I watched a wet stain spread across the crotch of his Bob the Builder pajama pants as he obediently toddled back up the stairs towards me. Come to look at it, he was wet all over.
Jesus Christ…
When he stepped back onto the landing, he just stared up at me, hair drenched, clutching a raggedy looking teddy bear, looking all wide-eyed and broken as he sucked on three tiny fingers.
‘Hey, Sean,’ I whispered, crouching down to his level and almost spluttering when the smell of whiskey hit me. ‘Do you remember me?’ I asked him, eyes watering from the stench. ‘I’m Johnny.’
He looked up at me with those big, lonesome eyes and nodded slowly.
‘Do you want to come for spin with me again?’ I asked, desperate to get him the hell out of this hellhole. ‘Does that sound like fun?’
Silent as a ghost, he nodded again.
‘Good boy – I’m going to pick you up, okay?’ I coaxed, slowly stretching my hands out to him. ‘I’m not going to hurt you. I’m a nice friend, remember? I’ve got that fast car and a shit ton of sweets for you –’ I slowly lifted him into my arms like he was a bomb that could detonate at any minute. Jesus, he was soaking through. ‘Good job, buddy,’ I coaxed when he didn’t resist me. ‘I’m going to take you to your sister now, okay?’
‘O-ee.’
I froze, stunned to hear him speak for the first time. ‘Hmm, Sean?’ I whispered, heart in my mouth. ‘What did you say?’
‘O-ee gone,’ he whispered, touching my face with his slobbery fingers. ‘O-ee.’
‘I know, buddy, but he’ll be back soon.’ Shifting him onto my hip, I moved from door to door, checking each room for the boys. ‘I’m going to get you some help. I’ll take you back to my house where there’s no mean shouting – and you can have a bath. A big bubble bath with ducks and everything. We’ll get that dirty booze off you.’
‘Daddy bad,’ he whispered, stroking my jaw with his chubby fingers.
‘I know, buddy,’ I bit out. ‘But I won’t do that to you.’
‘Daddy ow,’ he whispered. ‘Ow, ow, Daddy.’
Keep the head, Kav.
Don’t lose it while you’re holding a toddler.
‘You like Bob the Builder?’ I asked, distracting us both from the very real fact that I was about to commit kidnapping. Again. ‘Me, too. I love Bob. Bob’s the bleeding best –’
‘Fuck off!’ a familiar voice spat from behind the locked door at the end of the hallway when I tried the handle. ‘I’ve got a knife.’
‘Tadhg,’ I whispered. ‘It’s okay. Open the door.’
‘Who’s there?’
‘Johnny,’ I told them. ‘Don’t be scared, lads. I’m going to get you out of here.’
‘I want to go,’ Ollie said from behind the door.
‘Shut up, Ollie,’ Tadhg hissed. ‘We don’t know for sure if it’s him.’
‘It is him,’ Ollie choked out. ‘He’s got the funny voice, Tadhg.’
‘It is me,’ I coaxed, striving for patience when all I wanted to do was kick down the door and drag them out of here. ‘I’m here to get you out, boys, but I need you to be as quiet as you can. Can you do that? Just whisper and don’t make any noise.’
I waited a solid minute and a half before a click sounded and the bedroom door cracked open just enough for two blond heads to pop out. ‘How come you’re here?’ Tadhg whispered, watching me with mistrustful eyes.
‘Shannon called me,’ I replied calmly. ‘I know he’s down in the kitchen with your Ma, and I’m here to get you guys out.’
‘Can I come?’ Ollie asked, looking at me with a hopeful expression.
‘Of course,’ I strangled out, voice thick with emotion. ‘I’m here for all of you.’
‘Ollie!’ Tadhg whisper-hissed. ‘What about Mam?’
‘I don’t care,’ Ollie cried as he pushed back the door and slipped into the landing. ‘I don’t want to be here.’
‘What about my Mam?’ Tadhg asked, eyeing me warily as if he was weighing up his options. ‘Can she come, too?’
‘If she wants,’ I forced myself to say. ‘But I have to get you out without your Da seeing us first, okay? Then I’ll come back for her,’ I added, trying to find a way to sway him out of that room. ‘I’ll take you to my place and then I promise, I’ll come back and get your Ma.’
His nostrils flared. ‘Really?’
I nodded. ‘Really.’
He studied me carefully for a moment. ‘Will your Mam be there?’
‘Yes,’ I replied evenly, sagging in relief as he loosened his grip on the door.
‘Will she give us ice-cream again?’
‘Definitely.’
He glanced back to his room and released a sigh before turning back to face me. ‘Okay.’
‘Okay.’ I sighed in relief and gestured for them to follow me into Shannon’s room. ‘Listen, the door’s locked downstairs, so we’re going to have to climb out the window.’
My heart was racing so hard, I was afraid the toddler in my arms could feel it. In fact, I was sure he could because Sean pressed his small hand to my chest and whispered, ‘Bang, bang.’
‘We can’t climb out the window,’ Ollie said in a hushed tone, when I leaned out the window with Sean in my arms. ‘You’ll drop him. And I’m scared.’
‘It’s okay,’ I bit out, knowing there was no safe way to get three small boys out of a two-story window without killing them. ‘We’ll figure something else out.’
‘How are we going to get out?’ Tadhg asked, sounding panicked. ‘Are we stuck?’
‘We are stuck,’ Ollie wept. ‘Daddy’s downstairs and he’s going to kill us if he sees you.’ Sniffling, he added, ‘He said we were all supposed to go to sleep, and we’re not asleep!’
‘Something’s wrong, Johnny,’ Tadhg strangled out. ‘We’re in trouble, aren’t we?’
‘No, no, we’re not,’ I assured him, heart racing. ‘I promise, I’ll get you guys out of here. Your Da’s not going to see us. Everything’s going to be fine.’ Searching the tiny bedroom with my eyes, I said, ‘We just need to find Shannon’s house keys.’
‘She keeps them in her coat,’ Ollie choked out, visibly shaking now. ‘She always hangs it on the bannister downstairs.’
Nodding, I desperately tried to rein in my emotions as I shifted Sean onto my other hip and held a hand out for Ollie. He came willingly, wrapping his arms around my waist with a death grip. ‘Don’t be scared,’ I whispered, trying to console him. ‘We’re going to creep downstairs as quiet as we can, okay?’ Looking to Tadhg, I said, ‘Hold Ollie’s hand and stay right behind me.’
‘What if he sees us?’ they both asked.
‘He won’t,’ I whispered, making yet another promise I wasn’t sure I could keep as I moved for the staircase with Sean clung to me like a baby monkey. ‘Don’t make a sound,’ I whispered. Barefoot and in their pajamas, Tadhg and Ollie both nodded and trailed after me without a word.
As I crept down the wooden staircase that was slippery and wet, I felt the worst pang of remorse in my heart for the way these kids had to live. When I was nine, I’d been playing with Pokémon and building forts. When I was twelve, my biggest concern was scoring a try. I couldn’t comprehend what these boys must be feeling.
‘Good job,’ I whispered into Sean’s ear. The further we descended down the stairs, the harder he shook in my arms. ‘We’re nearly there.’ Never in my life had I been so glad to see a khaki coat as I was when my eyes locked on Shannon’s one resting on the bannister. Slipping off the wet bottom step, I managed to right myself before toppling over. Regaining my balance, I slid my hand into the pocket of Shannon’s coat and almost wept in relief when my fingers closed around her key chain. Glancing back to Tadhg and Ollie who were standing on the bottom step, I gave them what I hoped was a reassuring smile. Both boys sagged in relief when I waved the keys in front of them.
‘It doesn’t have to be this way,’ I heard Shannon’s mother weep and I froze, heart jackknifing in my chest. Swinging my gaze to Tadhg and Ollie’s terrorized faces, I held a finger to my lips. ‘You know I love you,’ she continued, voice low and hushed. ‘We can sort this out, Teddy, but not if you–’
‘Marie, Marie, Marie,’ their father slurred. ‘It’s the only way.’
A small whimper tore from Sean’s throat and I tucked his face into my chest, praying to all that was holy to help me get these kids out. ‘Shh,’ I mouthed, rocking him in my arms. ‘Shh.’
‘Not for them,’ their mother sobbed. ‘For us maybe, but not them, Teddy.’
‘They are us,’ he replied in an eerie tone of voice. ‘They’re all us.’
‘Please,’ she continued to sob quietly. ‘I love you, Teddy. Don’t do this. I love you.’
‘This is the only way,’ he replied calmly. ‘Now have a drink with me. It’ll take the edge off it.’
Holding a hand up when Tadhg started to move towards me, I glanced around the hallway, wondering how in the hell I was going to get these kids to the door without their parents seeing us. The kitchen door was wide open and they would have a perfect view of the front door.
Forcing myself to breathe slowly, I kept my back to the wall behind me and edged closer to the door, gesturing for Ollie and Tadhg to follow me slowly. That bleeding staircase was like a deathtrap. Ollie slid clean off the bottom step and lunged for me. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he clung to me tighter than Sean was. ‘Shh,’ I whispered when he hiccupped a tiny sob. ‘Shh, buddy.’
Trembling from head to toe, Tadhg skated across the floor to my other side, burying his face in my side, and my heart cracked clean open. I knew this kid was prideful. He was badass for twelve. To see him fall apart like this was sobering.
Smoothing a hand over his blond head, I carefully moved for the door with the three of them literally hanging off me, wary of the water on the floor, and never once taking my eyes off the kitchen doorway as I moved.
When I reached the front door, my eyes landed on their father slumped in a chair at the kitchen table, with his back to the door. Several empty bottles of whiskey and vodka were lined out on the table in front of him, and I knew if he turned around right now, I was going to kill him. I’d made the decision the minute I heard his creepy voice and I was oddly at peace with it. If he put a hand on these children, I was going to bury the man.
Focusing on keeping my hand steady, I slid the lone key into the lock and slow turned it back, wincing when it clicked.
A loud cough from the kitchen muffled the noise and I jerked my head back to see Shannon’s mother staring right back at me.
Holy shit.
My heart stopped in my chest and for a few terrifying moments, I waited to see what she would do.
She nodded.
I hesitated.
She nodded again.
Keeping my eyes glued to her, I slowly pushed the handle down and swung the door inwards. She coughed loudly again, drowning out the creak from the hinges as I pushed Tadhg and Ollie through the small crack in the doorway.
With Sean in my hands, I turned my back to leave, but quickly swung back to face her, hovering anxiously in the doorway.
‘Go,’ she mouthed, looking me right in the eyes. ‘Go now.’
‘What about you?’ I found myself mouthing back, feeling torn and conflicted.
‘I’ll have a drink with you,’ Mrs. Lynch said in a calm tone, eyes glued to mine. ‘A goodbye drink.’
‘Good girl,’ her husband slurred, shoulders slumped.
‘I’ll close that door first,’ she added. ‘We don’t want to wake them.’
‘That’s right,’ he replied, nodding his head. ‘It’s better if they sleep through it.’
Standing up, Mrs. Lynch walked calmly to the kitchen door, face void of all emotion, eyes locked on mine. ‘Get them out,’ she mouthed slowly. ‘Take them away from here.’
Stunned and confused, I hovered at the front door with her baby in my arms. ‘Come with me,’ I mouthed, urging her to just run. ‘Come on.’
She shook her head. ‘No.’
‘Why?’
‘Just go.’
‘I can’t.’
‘Go now!’
‘I’ll come back for you.’ Feeling at a complete loss, I exhaled a ragged breath. ‘I promise.’
‘Don’t come back.’ She shook her head. ‘Just save my children.’ Her gaze flicked to Sean who had his face buried in my neck and a lone tear trickled down her cheek. ‘Tell them I’m sorry,’ she mouthed and then she closed the kitchen door.
Silently reeling and still clutching her youngest child in my arms, I slipped out of the house, quietly closed the door behind me, and ran for my car.
