I woke up to something poking me. Again. I groaned, cracking an eye open before quickly shutting it again. It was still dark, so my alarm shouldn’t be close to going off yet.
I sighed, determined to enjoy the last few moments of sleep, but that same sensation prodded me again.
Something was digging into my back. Rugsy often laid against me, but she typically aimed for my legs, and this didn’t feel like her. I slowly reached my arm back, wondering if maybe I’d fallen asleep with my laptop still on the bed again.
My hand hit something warm and hard. And slightly rounded? What in the world? I twisted, sliding my hand up in an attempt figure out what it was I’d almost fallen asleep on.
“Something in particular you’re searching for?” A rough, raspy voice asked, thick with sleep.
I dug my nails into the limb I was gripping, my eyes shooting open. A leg. I was touching a leg. A knee, to be exact, and it did not belong to me.
Inhaling sharply, the previous hours came flying back to me in excruciatingly vivid colors. Aaron coming over, Garrett disposing of him or who even knew what, and lying in bed together.
Ask me in the morning.
Holy hell, he’d stayed the night. Knowingly and purposefully stayed. Well, more like just a couple hours, but still, he’d come in with the intention of falling asleep.
Oh Lord, I needed to slow my roll. He was just being a friend. A friend who sacrificed his entire night to help me and be with me, but still. Just a friend.
I eased onto my opposing shoulder, painfully aware of every morning I’d ever woken up and how much of a zombie I always looked. He was sure to be tucking tail and ditching soon. Then again, he’d already seen me slick faced and puking, so who knew.
The first thing I saw as I finished my snail-like turn was an arm resting on top of the comforter an inch away from my own. My eyes traveled up its length, noticing with a mixture of both disappointment and relief that he was still wearing his shirt.
I continued my perusal, stopping at the scruffy jaw and lazy grin that greeted me. The dimples peeking out to say hello sent my heart aflutter, but it was the intense gaze, tracing every line of my face, that was going to be the death of me.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning,” I whispered. “What time is it?”
“About five.”
Good, I still had an hour before I needed to get ready for work. Thank God I was used to running on little sleep. Before thinking better of it, I heaved a sigh, puffing my cheeks out.
The moment the air left my mouth, I froze in horror, yanking the comforter up to cover my face. Morning breath was no one’s friend on a good day, but I’d fallen asleep without even brushing my teeth.
Oh, hell no.
I lunged up, knocking into his bent knees and practically climbing over him to reach the edge and jump off. Dashing into the bathroom with nothing but a quick, “I’ll be right back,” thrown his way, I shut the door on his responding chuckle.
Feeling minimally better after I’d brushed my teeth, I gathered my hair in a messy bun. Garrett was in my bed. Jamie could see him and would know he’d stayed over. I covered my face with my hands, what had I gotten myself into?
I splashed water on my face, giving myself a mental pep talk. I could do this. I just needed to get rid of him before Jamie got up. I opened the door, preparing myself for the eye candy sight of Garrett lounging in my bed, but the spot he’d been in was empty.
“Feel better?”
I jumped, twisting to see him standing near the edge of the bed, holding his phone. Blushing ten shades of red, I mumbled out a yes, and made my way past him to find a clean sweater.
He grabbed my wrist as I passed, twisting me to face him. His fingers brushed along the curve of my jaw, and my eyes widened, my pulse echoing in my ears. He leaned down, placing his mouth above the shell of my ear. “Then can I kiss you now?”
Like a deer in headlights, I stared up at him, slack jawed and completely caught off guard. “You want to kiss me?”
“I wanted to kiss you the moment I opened my eyes and had to bat your wild hair out of my face to see you snoring beside me.”
But why? Literally nothing he’d just said was attractive. He tilted his head to the side, his tongue pushing into the inside of his cheek, and I realized I’d voiced my question out loud.
“It baffles me how a woman as beautiful and amazing as you can see herself in such poor light.”
I frowned. I liked to think of myself as a good mom, and I definitely worked hard, but beautiful and amazing were pushing it.
His gaze intensified, hardening with his determination to prove whatever he saw on my face, wrong. “Have you never woken up next to a man who couldn’t wait to press his lips to yours? Where just the sight of you next to him was driving him wild?”
“No. You’re the first man I’ve ever woken up next to besides my ex.”
His tongue wet his bottom lip, and I swore his chest moved a little faster. “It’s really been five years since a man has touched you? Kissed you?”
I gripped the hem of my shirt and nodded, watching his eyes darken like he wanted to consume my soul. Heat flared between my legs, and I could feel my nipples hardening against my shirt.
“All this time, you’ve never wanted to take someone home? Just one night to release all that stress and tension I see in your shoulders every day?”
Without meaning to, I huffed a laugh, and he quirked an eyebrow in response, waiting for my answer. “Sex…” How did I explain this? “Sex has never been much of a stress reliever for me. So no, I’ve never wanted to take someone home.”
Although, with the way he was looking at me, I was second-guessing that thought process.
He took a step closer until his stomach brushed against my peaked tips, and my lungs started working double time. “You don’t find yourself ever needing release at all? Needing someone to help you find that sweet spot and press it over and over again?”
My legs were full on shaking now, and I had to squeeze my thighs together to control the throbbing that was taking over every thought in my head. The hint of a smirk on his lips let me know he hadn’t failed to notice.
It didn’t matter, my voice gave me away a second later anyway. “In another world maybe, if anyone other than me could find it.”
His head pulled back, an incredulous look in his eyes. “Wait, you don’t mean—as in, ever?”
I looked away, knowing every visible inch of my skin was vibrant red. How the hell had we even gotten here?
“As in ever. My body doesn’t work right, I guess. I enjoyed sex just fine, but I had to, you know, handle things myself later.” I waved it off like it didn’t bother me to have spent my entire adult life feeling like I was broken.
He heaved out a sigh, brushing the pad of his thumb across his bottom lip. “I can’t decide if I want to go find that bastard all over again for ever making you think it was a you thing, or if I want to spread you out across that mattress and show you how goddamn wrong you are.”
Could you orgasm from just verbal stimulation? Because if you couldn’t, I was about to be the first. I’d break the fucking records. “You want to have sex with me?”
“I want to do a lot of things with you.”
He reached out to wrap his hands around my waist, but I stepped back out of reach, watching his eyes immediately shutter.
“I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship, Garrett. I wasn’t lying that day to Layla. I don’t have the time a relationship deserves.”
His features relaxed. “I know you’re new to the idea, but you don’t have to be in a relationship to enjoy the feel of someone’s skin, Maddie.”
Looking toward the door, I rubbed my palms down my thighs. When had I started sweating? “So, you mean friends with benefits. No feelings.”
His eyes flared as he approached me again, brushing his lips across my cheek. “I promise not to catch feelings if you don’t.”
I shuddered, goosebumps covering my neck and arms. My body had never reacted like this to someone before, and the thought of this man touching me had me wanting to climb to the rooftop and agree at the top of my lungs.
I cleared my throat, then swallowed. I opened my mouth to say something I’d probably regret, only for a light, rhythmic tapping on my bedroom door to pull me back to the present.
Jamie. My kid was here. This is why dating was off limits for me. I couldn’t be thinking about Garrett’s chest, and thighs, and the hardness I’d felt, and fuck. I was in so much trouble. I put a large amount of space between our bodies, turning toward the sound.
“You need something, bud?”
“I woke up on the couch and you were gone.”
I shrank in on myself. And the most self-centered parenting award goes to? “I’m sorry if I worried you, I was going to let you sleep while I took a shower.” Which was kind of true, at least.
“Okay.”
It was silent for a moment, and then I heard the sound of his door. I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. When I looked up, Garrett was smiling down at me, his dimples on full display, like he knew exactly what I’d been about to say before the interruption.
“All right, you go jump in the shower and get ready. I’ll make coffee and find some breakfast for J-man.”
A large finger pressed on my lips, stopping the reply from exiting my mouth. Taking his time pulling it back, he pointed to the bathroom. “Shower. I’ll whip something up for you too.”
Satisfied with my silence, he ripped back the covers and wrapped those bulky arms around my miniature dachshund, cuddling her to his chest, and left.
I watched him amble out and pressed a hand to my chest, wondering how much this dream would hurt when it crumbled all around me.
