She gaped at me. “I’m sorry, he did what?”
I didn’t repeat the story, instead knocking my head back to down my wine. Snagging the bottle next to her, I poured another ungodly full glass, emptying the bottle and licking the dribble from the neck.
Yep, I’d splurged and purchased an actual bottle the following morning. What could I say, I was having a crisis.
“Then what happened?”
“We both went home. Our own homes. Alone.”
Layla stared at me with wide, unblinking eyes. It was rare to see her speechless. “He said all that to you, and you just went home?”
It was one of my more cowardly moments, for sure. I balanced my glass between two of my fingers, twirling it back and forth, wondering if I should actually eat lunch. “Yep.”
“What in the hell is wrong with you? He’s a catch. A good one, Mads. And Jamie loves him. He’s always talking about him and asking if he’s coming over.”
I set my glass down and pushed it away from me. I needed to get my shit together and be an adult. My shift tonight wasn’t going to disappear just because I’d kissed the man I was in love with and chose to have wine for a meal.
“I know he is, but it’s not fair to him or Jamie for me to jump in before knowing it’ll work out.”
“No one goes into a relationship already knowing it’ll work out. That’s literally the point of dating.”
I grumbled, passing by her position at the bar and throwing myself face-first onto the couch. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be dating material, Layla. I’m a mess.”
She followed, plopping down on top of my ass. Both dogs jumped up from their positions on the floor, excited for a cuddle party, but luckily for my face, she waved them down. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the way they both seemed to huff in disappointment.
She smacked my thigh. “Yeah, you are a mess. A hot fucking mess, to be exact. But that doesn’t mean you’re not worth it, nor does it mean you shouldn’t try. You’ve been single for years, Mads. It’s time to take a chance.”
“I don’t just have me to think about. You said it yourself, Jamie loves him. I can’t do that to him. I can’t tease him with the idea of finally having two parental figures in his life only to rip it away if things don’t work out.”
“Just test the waters then.”
I sent a glare her way even though she couldn’t see my face from her perch on top of me. “I can’t sleep with him. We’re neighbors. If we ended up having no chemistry, and he decided he wanted to hit-it-and-quit-it, he wouldn’t be able to. He’d be stuck seeing my face all the time. Hitting-it without the quitting-it part.”
“So, you’re saying there was no chemistry when he kissed you?”
Even smooshed to the couch, a full-grown woman using me as a cushion, I flushed to my toes, replaying Garrett’s kiss for the one millionth time that morning. There’d been more than chemistry, a lot more. I just hadn’t decided what to do about it yet.
Garrett wanted me right now, but would the excitement of being with me fade after he finally fucked me? He claimed to be willing to wait until I was emotionally ready, but how long would he actually be willing to wait before losing interest? Chemistry didn’t automatically equal long-term feelings.
Not to mention, had he really thought through the fact that being with me meant also being with my kid? That was a huge ass commitment for anyone.
I thought about my sweet, protective, sassy, oddball child, who was currently at a movie with his grandpa. I couldn’t imagine a single person who wouldn’t enjoy having him around, but I was a tad biased.
Did I want to see Garrett every day? Yes. I wanted to watch him and Jamie argue over video games and wrestle on the floor while Rugsy yapped at them. I wanted him to walk up behind me and kiss me sweetly while I cooked dinner or folded his clothes. I wanted to dote on him and be doted on.
Did I also want to strip his clothes off and see if he could back up his claim to have me seeing stars for the first time? Ab-so-fucking-lutely. Pun intended.
But as I’d learned long ago, life didn’t often work out as smoothly as envisioned. In fact, the train usually went off the rails a few times in the process.
Deciding it was in my best interest to change the subject, I rolled to the side until Layla was propped on my hip rather than my rear.
“He said he left Aaron in a porta-potty.”
She shifted forward toward my head, causing me to grunt and squish deeper into the couch. “As in, sat him on top of it or…”
“Or.”
“Oh my fucking God, that’s it. He’s husband material. I’m serious, I’ll take him if you won’t.”
I shoved her off me, laughing and throwing a pillow down on top of her. “Hearing that would break Rick’s heart.”
“Ugh,” she groaned, sliding onto the floor like a slug. Taking that as their official cue, the dogs leapt up, stepping all over her for snuggles and scratches.
Layla had been trying to gently break things off with Rick for a few days now, but the poor guy wasn’t getting the hint. She cared about him and enjoyed playing music both in and out of the sheets, but he just wasn’t passing the soulmate vibe check.
Rick had professed his love the last time she’d hinted at just being friends, and she was desperately trying to avoid breaking the claws out and scarring his lovesick heart for life.
I chuckled, not feeling the least bit sorry for her. She’d done it to herself, and it was only more proof that I shouldn’t jump into dating Garrett. Because if he broke things off, I already knew I wouldn’t recover.
The truth was, I’d rather feel a tinge of sadness every time I looked at him and couldn’t have him, rather than walk through life with a shattered heart.
It’d been an entire week since Garrett had kissed me, and we still hadn’t talked about it. In fact, we hadn’t really talked at all. He’d waved and asked me about my day the few times we’d bumped into each other outside, but that was it.
On Thursday, he’d even helped Jamie practice some goals out in the yard, but had turned him down when he invited him over for dinner.
I felt like in trying to save our friendship, I’d already ruined it. He’d said he’d back off, but I guess I hadn’t realized he’d also meant as friends as well.
I shifted on the bleacher, rubbing subconsciously at my chest, trying to soothe the ache that had settled in and wouldn’t leave. It was late morning, and Jamie’s game would be starting any minute. It was the first one I’d had to attend alone, and I was feeling a little sorry for myself.
Layla had taken a gig to play music at a farmer’s market in a neighboring town this weekend, and my parents were at some kind of fundraiser for my dad’s work. I was whinier about it than Jamie was.
We’d all made plans to have a late lunch together later so he could tell them how it went. He’d asked me twice already if I knew whether Garrett was coming. I hadn’t been able to give him an answer.
I rubbed harder, wishing I lived in one of those fantasy worlds where people could turn their emotions off. When compared to powers like flying, super strength, or speed, I’d take emotional control every time.
Huddling deeper into the blanket I’d finally remembered to bring; I propped my feet on the bleacher in front of me and rested my head on my knees. I closed my eyes and crossed my arms over my face, separating myself from the world.
To anyone looking at me, I probably resembled a woolly cocoon. Too bad I’d be the same exhausted woman when I emerged.
Laughter sounded to my left, followed by the vibrations of someone walking across the bleacher I was sitting on. “Is that you under there, Madison?”
I shot up, nearly tipping backward into the foot space behind me. My blanket puddled around my waist, and I looked up to see Michael smiling down at me.
“Oh. Good morning, Michael.”
“Cold?” He stepped closer, lowering to sit next to me. I grabbed the edges of the blanket, shuffling to the side even though he already had more than enough room to sit.
I huffed a laugh I dearly hoped didn’t sound as fake as it felt. The idea of small talk was already pulling on the last strings of my energy, and we’d only started.
“A little. Just waiting for the game to start.”
He pointed toward the boys huddled up on the field. “Looks like they’re getting ready to run out there now.”
I made do with nodding.
“Do you mind if I sit here, or are you waiting for someone?”
I bit the inside of my cheek at his obvious fishing. He might as well have waved a rod and worm around, but I couldn’t blame him. The last time we’d spoken, Garrett had swept in like a tidal wave, whisking me away.
“It’s just me today.” I turned my attention to the field. I still couldn’t claim to be a fan of sports, but there was something about watching kids run aimlessly around a field for an hour or two that was almost calming. Like watching a fish tank or an ant farm.
In my peripheral, I could see Michael glance my way several times. He clearly wanted to say or ask something, but he hadn’t worked up the nerve. Part of me hoped he never did, as shitty as the thought was. Anytime someone gave me a look like that, they were usually about to ask me something personal.
“Can I ask you something?”
Damn.
I dragged my eyes to him, but he was looking down at his watch, fiddling with the dials, so I looked back at the field. “Sure.”
“Are you free next weekend? It’s Ian’s birthday, and he’s wanting to invite Jamie over for some pizza and cake. I thought…maybe we could…”
His stuttering trailed off, and I frowned, twisting toward him. He was asking about a kid birthday, not dinner and a movie, so why did he sound so damn nervous? I opened my mouth to ask when, only for another voice to beat me to it.
“What day?”
Warmth engulfed my shoulder a second later as a large hand curled around it, tucking me against the jean-covered leg standing behind me. How his lumberjack of a body made it across these rickety benches without me noticing was a feat in itself. The man was stealthy as hell.
Michael looked like he’d swallowed something bitter as he replied, “Saturday afternoon.”
Garrett’s hands lifted just enough to grip the edge of my blanket and pull it higher over my shoulders before dropping to my biceps and rubbing his fingers up and down in a soothing manner.
“We can check our schedules. Maddie works Saturday evenings, but if you’re okay with it, I have no problem bringing Jamie,” he said, directing the last part at me.
Michael glanced over, but I struggled to focus on him when I could still feel Garrett’s words wrapping around me. We. He said we would check, like we were a team, a unit, a family in the making.
There was a funny feeling in my middle that was either my heart pulling a Grinch number and growing, or there was a chance I was about to vomit.
“Yeah, I’m sure we can make it work.”
Michael appeared less than happy about the entire ordeal. “Good. That’s good.” He stood abruptly, muttering something about needing to use the restroom. I watched him leave, wondering if he knew he’d walked in the opposite direction of them.
I pivoted my body, coming face to face with Garrett’s thick thigh. I slid my eyes up his frame, raising an eyebrow in silent question.
His eyes moved over every inch of my face like we’d gone months being apart. The hand on my arm moved to my cheek, cupping it for a fleeting moment before he pulled back and tucked his hands into his hoodie. “Hey.”
I couldn’t hide the smile the single word brought to my face. “I didn’t think you were coming.”
He stepped over the bleacher, settling down next to me. “Is it all right that I’m here?”
Before thinking better about it, I placed my hand on his leg. “Of course, it is. Jamie kept asking me if you were coming. He’s going to be so happy.”
His eyes latched onto my hand before slowly making their way up. “And you?”
“I’m happy you’re here too.” I laughed awkwardly. “I thought you’d finally come to your senses and were avoiding me.”
His brow furrowed. “I was trying to give you space.”
I squeezed his leg once before forcing the mind-of-its-own limb back to my lap. “I needed space from your sex eyes, Garrett, not from you.”
Laughter tore out of him like he wasn’t prepared for it, and a small glowing ember perked up inside of me. It was one of the most beautiful sounds I’d ever heard.
I stared at my child, a knife gripped in my hand, hovering over a half-sliced tomato. “I’m sorry, you did what?”
“I invited him over for lunch.”
Carefully setting the knife down, I wiped my hands on a towel, turning to face the living room and my parents, who were currently chatting on the couch about something they’d read in the news.
“Here,” I confirmed, pointing to the floor.
Jamie opened his mouth, but just then a knock sounded against the door, startling my parents and setting Rugsy off.
I dropped my head into my hands, allowing myself to freak out for a split second before I found my female balls and marched over. Garrett was here. To have lunch with my parents. Dear Lord, they were going to interrogate the hell out of me later.
Opening the door, I stepped back enough for his large frame to squeeze past. He looked like he was about to treat me to a sexy smirk when his eyes darted over my shoulder and noticed the other occupants in the room.
“Hey, Garrett,” Jamie said, popping up next to me jack-in-the-box style.
“Hey, J-man, long time no see.”
Jamie chuckled, looking at me with the orneriest face on the planet, silently saying, See? It’s fine.
I sighed, putting my hand to Garrett’s elbow and steering him farther into the house. “Mom, Dad, you remember my neighbor, Garrett.”
His jaw tensed, a muscle popping, but he quickly plastered a smile to his face and stepped forward to offer his hand. “It’s nice to see you again. Your grandson talks about you often.”
That’s all it took for my mother to melt. “Really? That makes me so happy.”
My father took his proffered hand, giving it a solid shake before lowering himself back to the couch. “So, Garrett, you’re in this same duplex, correct?”
“Yes, sir. In Madison terminology, we’re wall neighbors.”
My father chuckled. “Madison terminology. I like that.”
Garrett turned away so only I could see his face and winked at me before striding off. I was still staring after him, blinking like an idiot, when my mother stepped next to me.
Together, we watched Jamie skip over to the kitchen to talk Garrett’s head off while he started grabbing dishes from the cabinets to set the table.
“Wow.”
“Yep,” I agreed.
“You know, one might think he’s been over for dinner a few times with how well he knows his way around your kitchen.”
I flushed crimson. “The duplex is symmetrical. His kitchen is exactly the same, Mom.”
“You know that from experience, do you?”
I twisted around, my mouth dropping open, but she’d already sauntered off, dragging my dad off the couch to head to the kitchen and help.
Lunch wasn’t anything fancy, just simple sliders with salad, but as long as Garrett didn’t go all caveman on it, there’d be plenty. I was a chair short, so Jamie and I shared one, each balancing on an edge as our elbows sparred for space.
“I talked to Brenden this morning. He called while we were at the fundraiser.”
“Oh?” I asked, talking around a mouthful of lettuce. My brother wasn’t a fan of talking on the phone, so I knew my mother had a point she was working up to.
She took another bite of her slider before she answered, putting her fingers to her mouth and giving me the universal sign for chef’s kiss.
“He’s going to visit for Christmas.”
My fork froze halfway to my mouth. “Really? How’d you convince him to do that?” My brother didn’t avoid us or anything, but his schedule was fluid and usually increased around the holidays, so he rarely made it.
She waved her hand. “He had some project get canceled so he decided it was a sign for him to finally make a trip out here.”
I turned to Garrett, who was shoveling food in his mouth, listening intently. “Brenden is my older brother. He works in the film industry, so his schedule changes month to month. Makes it hard to plan trips.”
My mother cringed. “Speaking of schedule changes, honey, do you think Layla could hang out with Jamie tomorrow? We’ll still have him over tonight, of course, but we got asked at the fundraiser to attend another event tomorrow, and it’d be hard to take him with us.”
My stomach dropped. “She can’t, she’s performing at the farmer’s market again.” Shit. I couldn’t take the day off, there was literally no one to cover for me for that shift, and it was payroll. It couldn’t not be done.
“I’m sorry,” she said at whatever expression was on my face before looking over to my dad, “Maybe we can—”
“I got him.”
I turned to the man beside me, my mouth parted. “What?” I asked, even though he’d spoken clearly, and I’d felt every letter of the sentence echo inside my ribcage.
“I got him.”
I shook my head, resting a hand on the muscles of his bicep and feeling the way they tensed underneath my fingers. “No, it’s okay. I’ll figure it out.”
“I’m sure you could, just like you always do, but I want to. He and I can chill and battle it out on some games until Layla gets home.”
“Oh my gosh, can I, Mom? Please?” Jamie begged, hopping up and down in his seat.
“You don’t need to do that, Garrett,” I said, unsure how to process his open willingness to help. He didn’t even care that my parents were here and listening with rapt attention and bated breath to see if I’d relent.
“I want to, Maddie. Jamie’s the coolest person I know, we’ll have a great time.”
I looked from his calm face to Jamie’s puppy dog eyes and broke. Rubbing a hand down my face, I muttered, “I’m sure I’ll regret this.”
Garrett leaned over, patting me on the knee. “Only in the best way.”
“All right, bud, you heard Grandma, take a quick shower and pack a bag. I’ll drop you off on my way to work.”
He groaned, falling backward onto the couch. “I don’t get why I couldn’t just leave with them now.”
“Two reasons. One, because you need to shower your soccer filth off, and two, so you could hang out with me longer. It used to be you wanted to hang out with me.”
He scrunched his nose like he found the idea utterly repulsive. “I think I’d rather take the shower.”
I threw a pillow at his face, causing him to giggle and leap up, running for the bathroom.
“I’ll get you back later, you little twerp.”
Turning, my eyes met Garrett’s. He was leaning against the bar, watching me with a loaded look on his face. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure what it meant, but something about it had me swallowing, an equal mix of nerves and warmth building in my chest.
We stood there, staring at each other from across the room, the silence broken only by the sound of the shower clicking on and Rugsy re-adjusting the blanket she was curled under.
We hadn’t been alone since the night we’d kissed, and if the look on his face was any indicator, he was thinking about it too.
I exhaled sharply, biting the inside of my cheek and pivoting away from him toward the living room. It wasn’t messy since we’d stayed at the table the entire time, but I still walked around, fluffing pillows and organizing the shoes by the door. I didn’t know what to say or how to feel about the tension in the air, the innate urge to grab him by his ears and eat his face.
Noticing I hadn’t locked the door after my parents left, I walked over and twisted the deadbolt, telling myself to say something—anything—to break the heavy silence.
Feeling pressure on my neck, I whipped around, barely suppressing a curse. Garrett stood less than a foot away, looking down at me with that same heated gaze. Any words I might have said got stuck in my throat when he rested his hands against the door on either side of my head.
“I feel like we need to clear up a few things so we’re on the same page.”
I was effectively caged in on all sides, the chill of the door clashing with the warmth of his body. I struggled to find oxygen, convinced it’d all left the room. Dropping his head near the crook of my neck, he blew air along my skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake.
“So, I’m not supposed to fuck you with my eyes.”
I shook my head, my cheek bumping into the side of his, while certain neglected parts of my body sparked to life with flying banners and fucking blow horns. With him this close to me, his scent filling my nose, I couldn’t remember why I’d ever said that. He could eye-fuck me until I was a mess on the floor for all I cared.
“But you want me around?”
My head bobbed in answer. I wanted him around every damn day.
“Use your words, Maddie.”
“Yes,” I croaked, “I want you around.”
“Why?”
“You’re my friend.”
“Friends.” He hummed low in his throat. “And as friends, am I allowed to touch you?” His arms slid down the door, inching closer and closer to my body. I nodded again, my eyelids fluttering closed.
“How about kiss you?” All it would take was the slightest movement and our lips would touch. I could feel his breath mixing with my own, and it was intoxicating.
I pulled my lip into my mouth, biting down. There was a reason for no kissing, no touching. But fuck me, I couldn’t remember what it was.
“Words, Maddie.”
I could hear the smile in his voice, and like a dam, I broke. I lurched forward, slamming my body into his, and running my fingers through his hair. Gripping two fistfuls, I yanked his mouth to mine in a vicious kiss.
The second our lips touched, his hands were already clutching at my hips like they’d been on high alert, just waiting for the green light.
He gripped me tight, as if worried I’d disappear, but there was no need. I wasn’t going anywhere. Refusing to breathe would be easier than denying this man. His body called to every part of my own in a natural, primal way, and I couldn’t fight it.
I ran the tip of my tongue across his lips, and he opened for me, swirling and caressing in equal measures. It wasn’t enough. My body was screaming and my mind silent for the first time in my memory. I pressed harder, imprinting him into my soul, and sucked his bottom lip into my mouth.
He groaned, lifting my leg and wrapping it around his waist as he shoved me back against the door and ground into me. Noises I didn’t even know I could make were slipping out in breathy sighs across his mouth.
I released his hair and moved my hands down his body, allowing myself to feel every single muscle while he continued to rub against my center.
Giving my mouth one final sweep of his tongue, he pulled away, dragging his teeth across my jaw and down the column of my neck, sucking and licking as he went.
For the first time in my life, I sensed I could reach the brink, sensed I could shatter into a million pieces from a touch that wasn’t my own. And the truth was he was barely even touching me, yet I could feel myself tightening, coiling up like a spring.
He was dry humping me in the middle of my living room with the lights on, against a cold door, and I could still imagine myself screaming out his name.
I gripped his shoulders, fully intending on hiking up my other leg so I could straddle him koala-style. I needed him to take me to my room, and I needed it now. Consequences be damned. But the second my fingers curled around his sexy ass trapezius muscles, the door to the bathroom opened.
Instead of staying where I was or shoving Garrett back, or doing literally anything else, my brain chose option Z.
Squeaking like a mouse in a trap, I dropped straight to Garrett’s feet right as Jamie stepped out into the hall. My ass hit the ground, the impact reverberating through my tail bone all the way up my spine. I winced, raising my head only to get an eyeful of Garrett’s thighs and the enormous bulge straining there.
“Mom? What are you doing?”
“Jesus.”
“You’re doing Jesus?”
Garrett’s deep, hearty laughter hit my ears, and I tipped my head back to see him clamping a hand over his mouth, trying and failing to hold it in. The sight hit me straight in the gut, and I joined him, laughing my ass off, sprawled at his feet.
“I don’t get it.”
I rubbed my eyes with the pads of my thumb and pointer before looking toward my narrow-eyed child. “Nothing, bud.”
He raised a brow, shaking his wet head and walking toward us. “Then why are you on the floor?”
