JOEY
“AND THEN THERE’S Ronan McGarry. He’s a little shit, but he’s relatively harmless,” Lizzie said, reeling off the last on her list of potential troublemakers that Shannon might run into at her new school. “Honestly, though, aside from the odd gossiper or queen bee, it’s pretty mellow at Tommen. Of course, there’s Bella Wilkinson to contend with.”
“Who’s she?” I asked, standing in the kitchen alongside her, mentally taking notes. “Would I know her?”
“Doubtful,” she shot back. “You’re hot, but you don’t have the pedigree to get on her radar.”
I cocked a brow. “Wow. Thanks.”
“Sorry, but you don’t.” She offered me a half-hearted shrug. “You’re a BCS boy from a council estate, and she’s a money starved, fame-hungry whore,” she explained, scrunching her nose up in disgust. “You might be the next big thing for the GAA, but unless you come with all the trimmings – and when I say trimmings, I mean money, a flashy car, and a future playing professional rugby – then she won’t look sideways at you.”
“I’m distraught.”
“Yeah, you really sound it.” Lizzie laughed, slapping my arm. “Put it this way; she would get up on a razor blade if said razor blade came in the form of one of the Academy boys. But she’s in sixth year and really doesn’t bother with anyone from third year, so Shan shouldn’t have any issues with her. Besides, none of the lads in our year are impressive enough to be on her radar. She’s more interested in the older lads, the big-time rugby-heads with godlike status.”
“Like Johnny Kavanagh?”
“Exactly.” Lizzie nodded. “Or Cormac Ryan. They’re both in The Academy.”
“I’ve seen them both play,” I mused, rubbing my jaw. “That Kavanagh lad is seriously impressive, but that Ryan kid isn’t going any further than The Academy.”
“Want to hear a fun inside scoop going around the rugby circle?”
“Not really.”
“Well, I was forced to hear it, so you can, too.”
“Please don’t.”
“Apparently, Bella’s been sleeping with Cormac since before Christmas, even though she’s meant to be with Johnny Kavanagh, but he’s out on injury.”
“Oh, the scandal,” I replied flatly. “What life changing information I have been given about three people I couldn’t give one single fuck about. How will I ever contain my excitement?”
“You’re sarcastic and blunt to the point of being cruel.” She threw her head back and laughed. “I love it.”
“Well, it didn’t take you long to jump back into old habits,” a familiar voice sneered, and I turned my head to see Casey Lordan glaring up at me. “Having fun with your new sidepiece, asshole?”
I narrowed my eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“You,” Casey hissed, pointing a finger between us. “And this little slut.”
“Did you seriously just call me a slut?” Lizzie interjected. “Are you insane?”
“If the dick fits, sweetie,” Casey sneered, giving Shannon’s little pal one of those withering looks, and sloshing wine over the rim of her glass in the process. “And it sure looks like it does.”
“Don’t call me sweetie, bitch,” Lizzie warned, hopping down from the island. “Because you don’t know who the hell you’re dealing with.“
“Pack it in,” I warned, quickly stepping between my sister’s best friend and my girlfriend’s one. “Whatever you think you know, you don’t,” I said, addressing Casey. “She’s my baby sister’s friend.”
“Yeah, sure she is.”
“Yeah, I am,” Lizzie argued from behind me.
“You,” I ordered, turning back to face Lizzie. “Walk away.”
“But…”
“Walk away,” I barked, waiting for Lizzie to storm off, before turning my attention back to Casey. “As for you,” I snapped, tone laced with disgust. “I don’t know what’s after coming over you, Case, but you need to get your head out of the gutter.”
“I saw you all over her!”
“She’s a child,” I bit out. “Have a bit of cop on, will ya? Jesus! And keep your goddamn nose out of my business while you’re at it.”
Doing the complete opposite, she reached a hand up and slapped me across the cheek, and fuck if it didn’t sting.
“Or what, huh?” She pushed at my chest with a surprising amount of force considering she barely reached my chest in height. “What are you going to do if I don’t, asshole?”
“Casey,” I warned, backing up a few steps, only to have her close the space between us. “Back off.”
“Why’d you do it, Joey?” she demanded, pushing and shoving at my chest until she had me cornered with nowhere to go. “You could have left her alone,” she slurred, wobbling in her heels, and I, for some unknown reason, reached a hand out to steady her.
That’s right; I was the eejit who stopped the girl who was attacking me from falling over.
As a thank you, she slapped me again.
Lovely.
“Listen here, you good-looking son of a bitch,” she slurred as she poked me in the chest with her finger. “I don’t care how slick you can move your hips on a pitch – or on a mattress, for that matter – we both know that you are punching way above your weight with my girl.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I demanded, feeling my temper rise. “You sound like a head-case.”
“I’m talking about you breaking my best friend’s heart,” she hissed, poking me again. “Aoife is worth ten of every other girl at this party, and you’re a stupid asshole if you can’t see that.”
“You think I’m fucking around?” I gaped at her. “Are you insane?”
“Oh, I know you are. I just caught you red-handed.”
“Talking,” I spat back. “You caught me red-handed talking to my sister’s childhood friend.”
“Deny it all you want. I know what I saw.”
“You’re deluded.”
“And you’re a dickhead,” she continued her rant. “Aoife was fine with Paul. She was okay. Her life was stable. It was consistent. He was good for her. But you just couldn’t leave her alone, could you? No, you just had to keep chipping away at her heart, until she threw it all away for you. And look where it got her.”
“Now, you listen to me,” I seethed. “If you so much as think about trying to sink your toxic claws in Aoife, and twisting this into something it’s not, then I swear to Christ, Case, I will lose my mind.“
“You lost your mind the minute you decided to break my best friend’s heart,” she snapped. “Aoife Molloy is the single best thing that’s ever happened to you, Joey Lynch, and everyone knows it. She loves you, asshole, despite your reputation and all of the horrible things you’ve done in your past, and instead of treating her with the love and respect she deserves, you trample all over her with your bullshit.”
“You don’t know a damn thing about it,” I snarled, furious. “You have no clue of what’s happening between us, so don’t start harping on to me about shit that doesn’t concern you.”
“I know that you fed her some asshole line about needing space, and then sauntered off without a backwards glance,” she replied, sounding just as furious.
“Casey, stop it!” Molloy’s achingly familiar voice echoed through my head, causing every hair on my body to stand on end.
“Stop it right now,” she ordered, dragging her friend away from me. “Don’t do this.”
“He deserves it.”
“You don’t know anything about it, now stop.”
“I know he hurt you.”
“Casey! I mean it. Let’s go.”
Struck fucking dumb at the sight of Molloy in a skin-tight, backless, red dress, I could do nothing but watch as she completely ignored me, focusing on her friend instead.
“But he hurt you,” Casey continued to slur, pointing her finger in my direction. “You’re so sad, and eating all that chocolate, and it’s all his fault.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Molloy bit out, wrapping an arm around Casey’s waist and pulling her towards the door, never once looking at me the entire time. “Come on,” she continued to say, coaxing her bitchy gal pal away. “I’ll get us a spin home.”
“Molloy?”
“Not right now, Joe.”
My heart bucked wildly in protest. “Molloy.”
“No,” she choked out, before hurrying out of the kitchen with Casey draped around her. “I can’t do this right now, okay?”
No, it wasn’t okay.
It wasn’t fucking okay at all.
My legs were moving after her before my brain had a chance to catch up.
“Patrick Feely is outside with the car,” her neighbor told her, as she looped an arm around Casey and helped Molloy cart her outside to a nearby running car. “He’ll make sure that you guys get home safely. He’s one of the good guys, Aoif. You can trust him.”
“Thanks, Katie,” I heard Molloy reply, as she opened the back door and maneuvered Casey inside. “Sorry about this.”
“It’s totally fine, girlie,” Katie replied, giving her a side hug. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I don’t want to go home,” Casey slurred, slumping into the back seat. “I’m having fun.”
“Yeah,” Molloy growled. “Ruining my life.”
“Don’t be mad at me,” her friend whined. “I’m trying to mind you.”
“I can mind myself, Case.”
“But he made you so sad.”
“Just scoot over and let me in. We can talk about this later.“
“Molloy,” I interjected, grabbing ahold of the door when she moved to climb in beside her friend. “Don’t leave yet.”
“I have to.”
“Why?”
“I’m playing by your rules here, Joe,” she croaked out, still averting her gaze from me. “You do your thing and I do mine, remember?”
“Yeah,” Casey slurred from her perch on the backseat. “Leave her alone, asshole.”
“Casey, it’s grand, stop,” Molloy muttered, cheeks flushed. “Just leave it, okay?”
“Don’t leave,” I repeated, ignoring the evil eyes her friend was giving me. “Don’t go, Aoife.”
“I have to,” she replied quietly. “She’s drunk and I need to make sure she gets home.”
“I’ll take her home, Aoif,” Katie offered up, and I instantly knew which one of her friends was my favorite. “If you want to stay and, uh, talk things out or whatever, then I’d be happy to go with Patrick and drop her home.”
“Thanks, Katie, but that’s putting you out.”
“I don’t mind,” Katie was quick to counter. “I think you should stay and talk to him.” She offered me a smile – albeit a warning one. “Nicely.”
“Hey.” I held my hands up, letting her know that I was fully prepared to comply with her wishes.
“No…” Casey whined. “Don’t do it, Aoif, he’ll only feed you more bullshit.”
“Shush, you!” Katie snapped, quickly climbing into the backseat alongside Casey before swiftly closing the car door.
Moments later, the car pulled away from the path, leaving us standing in a thick, strained silence.
“So, you were just going to leave without speaking to me?”
“I don’t want to argue with you, Joe,” she whispered, arms moving to wrap around her waist protectively. “I’m too tired.”
“I don’t want that, either.”
She nodded stiffly and continued to stare down at her stiletto clad feet.
“Are you going to look at me?”
“Not right now.”
“Why not?”
“Because it hurts too much.”
My heart constricted in my chest. “Baby.”
She swiftly changed the subject by asking, “So, what are you doing at a Tommen party, Joey Lynch?”
“Believe it or not, I was invited.”
“By who?”
“Hugh Biggs,” I replied before quickly turning the tables. “What are you doing at a Tommen party, Aoife Molloy?”
“I was invited.”
“By who?”
“Katie Wilmot.”
I thought about it for a moment before awareness dawned on me. “Wait, your next-door neighbor, Katie, is with Hugh Biggs?”
“Yeah,” she mumbled. “You already knew that.”
I had a vague recollection of Molloy telling me about her friend having a boyfriend on the rugby team at Tommen, but I’d been too strung out to pay much heed to the conversation at the time. “No, no, no, you told me her name was Katie Horgan.” That, I did remember.
“She’s Katie Horgan-Wilmot,” Molloy replied. “Her parents aren’t married, remember? Her mam’s Horgan and her dad’s Wilmot. She has a double-barreled last name, but she mostly goes by her dad’s name.”
“So, Katie is with Hugh.”
“Yeah, they’ve been together for a while now.”
“Well shit.” My thoughts reverted back to the conversation I had with Lizzie, and a pang of sympathy hit me in the chest, before I abruptly stripped all memory of that conversation from my mind.
Not my monkeys, not my circus.
“Why’s she at Tommen again?” I asked, searching my mind and coming up empty. “She’s from Rosewood. Her folks aren’t exactly flush with cash.” Without trying to sound like too much of a dick, I asked, “Shouldn’t she be at BCS with us?”
“You know why she’s at Tommen, Joe,” she muttered, kicking at a stone with her foot. “I’ve told you all about it before, remember?”
Yeah, but I was on another planet and couldn’t hear you.
“Oh, yeah,” I lied, disgusted by just how many ways I’d let this girl down. “I remember.”
“Have you been drinking?”
“I’ve had one drink the whole night.”
“Wow,” she said softly. “That must be a personal best for you.”
Ouch. “I deserve that.”
“I didn’t say that to hurt you,” she squeezed out, shaking her head.
“I wouldn’t blame you if you had.”
“Yeah.”
Another strained silence settled between us, and it made me feel uneasy.
“You do know that Casey was completely off the mark earlier, right? That girl I was talking to back there is a friend of Shannon’s,” I heard myself hurry to explain, heart gunning in my chest. “You get that, right?”
“Yeah.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper when she said, “Katie mentioned something about that.”
“So, you’re okay then?” I pushed gently. “You know that there was nothing going on.”
“No, I’m not okay,” she choked out, voice thick with emotion now. “I haven’t been okay in weeks.” This time she did look at me, and it cut like a knife when I saw the tears pooling in her eyes. “But you seem like you’re doing a lot better, so clearly this break up is working for one of us.”
“Are you serious?” I took a step back, feeling like she had just knifed me in the gut. “You think I’m not hurting?”
“I don’t know how you feel anymore.”
“In love,” I bit out. “With you.”
“Don’t…”
“Nothing’s changed for me, Molloy,” I interrupted, needing her to know. “Nothing.”
“I can’t do this,” she admitted, voice torn. “I can’t.”
“Can’t do what?” I asked, feeling panicked. “Can’t talk to me?”
“Be here with you and not be with you,” she strangled out, pressing a hand to her forehead. “It’s too much. It’s too hard.” Shaking her head, she turned to walk away. “I can’t.”
“Aoife.” A fucked-up combination of guilt and fear coursed through me as I watched her leave. “All I’m trying to do is protect you.“
‘No –’ Swinging around, she stalked back to me, looking mad as hell. ‘No,’ she repeated through clenched teeth, pointing her finger at me. ‘This is not protecting me, Joey. Walking away is not protecting me. Leaving me is not protecting me, dammit!” Furious, she blinked back her tears and glared up at me. ‘That is not how you treat the person you love, which goes to show that you never loved me the way I loved you.”
“Never loved you?” I gaped at her. “Are you fucking crazy? You’re the only person on this planet I do love!”
‘No,’ she snapped, shaking her head. ‘You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to come back and wreck me.’ Placing her hands on my chest, she pushed me back when I reached for her. “You don’t get to tell me you love me and then go right back to breaking my heart!” She choked out another pained sob when I cupped her cheek. “You don’t love me, Joey.” Eyelids fluttering, she leaned into my touch and sniffled. ‘You don’t know how to love anyone.’
‘Maybe I do it badly,’ I strangled out, as my heart splintered apart. ‘But I do love you.”
“You’re a shithead.”
“I know.”
“I can’t live like this.”
“I know.”
“No, I mean it, Joey,” she breathed, jerking away from me with a shiver. “I can’t take another second of it.” With that, she turned on her skyscraper heels and marched back inside the house, tossing the words, “It hurts too much,” over her shoulder as she went.
I knew that I should turn in the opposite direction and walk my ass away from her, but that wasn’t what I did.
No, because like the sick, masochistic fuck-up I was, I followed her back into the Biggs’ house, knowing that Molloy wasn’t one to take being scorned lying down.
There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that she had every intention of making me pay for not giving her what she wanted, which, just so happened to be exactly the same thing as I wanted.
Fuck my life.
