AOIFE
“IT’S NOT RIGHT, TONY,” Mam said, setting a fresh mug of hot chocolate down in front of me on Friday evening. “It’s been four days. The girl has a right to see him.”
“Listen, Trish, I’m not arguing with you here. I don’t think it’s right either,” Dad replied, sinking down at the kitchen table beside me. “But he’s their brother. He’s the eldest. Their parents are dead. We have to respect his wishes. Darren’s doing the best he can under the circumstances to keep the family together.”
Four long days had passed since the fire that had taken the lives of Teddy and Marie Lynch.
Four days in which I had zero contact with Joey.
Four days since my world had fallen apart when I read the words on what could only be described as my boyfriend’s suicide note.
My mind was still reeling.
My heart was in tattered shreds.
All of this I could have handled, if they would just let me see him.
But no, apparently, I wasn’t what Joey needed right now.
According to Darren, I needed to keep my distance and give his brother time to grieve.
Like hell.
Joe wasn’t just grieving.
If they had him holed up in a room somewhere, then he was going through withdrawals.
He was suffering and the fact that I couldn’t get to him made me physically sick.
“Darren is not the patriarch of the Lynch family,” I spat, feeling my stomach twist up in knots. “He’s a piss poor substitute for the only parent those children ever had.”
“Their mother—”
“I’m not talking about their mother, Dad,” I snapped, pushing the mug away from me. “I’m talking about Joe.”
“Well, when Darren phoned, he asked us to keep Aoife away from the funeral on Monday,” Mam said. “Apparently, Joey is going straight to a rehab facility afterwards, and he doesn’t feel that seeing Aoife will be good for him. In case he changes his mind.”
“What the fuck am I?” I demanded, pushing my chair back and standing up. “The devil incarnate?”
Mam sighed heavily. “Aoife…”
“No, Mam, it’s bullshit,” I cried out, hating myself for sounding so weak in that moment. “It’s not fair. I’ve been here the whole time. I didn’t run away. I didn’t check out on Joey. Six years, Mam. For six years, I’ve stayed, and I’ve helped him. I’ve pulled him out of drug dens. I’ve taken needles out of his arm. I’ve begged and borrowed to pay his dealers and keep him safe, and now, because I’m pregnant Darren’s making it out like I’ve caused Joey’s entire downfall.”
“Jesus Christ,” my father choked out, dropping his head in his hands. “Why didn’t you tell us it had gotten that bad?”
“How could I?” I cried. “Look at how you’re reacting now? You would have fired him from the garage and sent him away, and he doesn’t have anyone else!”
“You’re only eighteen,” he bit back, tears filling his eyes. “I don’t want this life for you.”
“He’s only eighteen,” I shot back, trembling. “And he is my life, Dad. He’s my life and I’m his. We’re a family,“ my voice broke, and I sucked in a shuddering breath before squeezing out, “He’s the father of my baby, and Darren’s taking him away from me.”
“Aoife, pet, I know you—” The sound of the doorbell ringing pierced through the kitchen, causing my father to pause and frown at the closed kitchen door. “Are you expecting anyone, Trish?”
“No, love,” Mam replied, patting Dad’s hand. “I expect it’ll be young Casey. She usually comes over at work.”
“Aoife?” Kev called from the hallway a few moments later. “I know you don’t want me to speak to you, but there’s a woman at the door for ya.”
“If it’s another fucking reporter looking for a statement, I’ll lose my mind,” Dad snapped, rising to his feet and stalking out of the kitchen.
All week, we had been bombarded with phone calls from local radio stations and reporters coming to the house, looking for a scoop.
We were a small country, which meant that fire was big news in Cork, it had even made the national news, and the media was disgustingly intrusive about it. Casey even heard a rumor that the national news broadcasters planned to attend the funeral. It was beyond insensitive to six children who had just lost both of their parents – shitty as they were.
Dad returned a few minutes later with a familiar blonde woman in tow. “Trish,” he said, gesturing for the glamorous blonde to join us at the table. “This is Edel Kavanagh.”
“Hello, Trish,” Edel said, offering my mother a soft smile before turning her attention to me. Warm eyes full of sympathy greeted me. “Aoife love, how are you?”
My mouth fell open and I tried to answer, but I couldn’t get the words out. Not when my entire attention was riveted to the small child whose hand she was holding.
“Oh my god,” I cried, practically falling off my chair in my bid to get to him. “Seany!”
“E-fa,” he mumbled around the fingers he was sucking, before releasing himself from Edel and toddling towards me. His little hand covered in its usual slobber. “E-fa.”
“Oh, Seany-boo.” Scooping him up in my arms, I broke down there and then, as a wave of relief washed through me at the sight of his little curly head. “You have no idea how good it is to see you, baby boy.”
“O-ee sad,” he told me, touching my cheek with his hand. “O-ee miss E-fa.”
The fact that he was trying to speak and doing such a good job at articulating himself only made me cry harder. “Yeah, buddy,” I sniffled, burying my face in his neck and soaking in his familiar smell. “Aoife misses Joey, too.”
“That’s actually what I’m here to talk to you about,” Edel chimed in, taking the seat my mother was offering her. “Thank you.”
“Coffee?”
“I’d love a cup, thanks, Trish.”
“How are the others?” I asked, unable to keep the emotion out of my voice. “And Joe…” Blowing out a shaky breath, I climbed to my feet, taking Seany with me, and returned to my seat at the kitchen. “Is he…doing okay?”
“Thanks, Trish,” Edel said, accepting the mug of steaming coffee my mother handed her, before turning her attention back to me. “Darren, Shannon, Ollie, and Tadhg are doing remarkably well under the circumstances.” She smiled indulgently at the little guy on my lap. “And Seany here is the sweetest little soul.”
“And Joe?”
She shook her head sadly. “Not as well as the others.”
My heart plummeted.
“He’s in bad shape,” she added, and I tightened my hold on the small boy on my lap, feeling like I had a connection to my boyfriend for the first time in days. “He hasn’t spoken a word since the night of the fire.”
“Jesus,” my father muttered, scrubbing his face with his oil-stained hand. “Poor lad.”
“He hasn’t eaten a single bite either,” she offered, concern evident in both her voice and her features. “To be honest with you, I’m not sure he’s even slept. When he’s not vomiting, he’s staring lifelessly at the wall.”
“I need to see him,” I told her slowly, emphatically, fucking desperately, willing this woman to do the right thing for my boyfriend. “You don’t get it. Darren thinks he knows everything, but he doesn’t have a clue. He doesn’t know a damn thing about his brother, but I do. I know Joey. I can help him. I can get through to him, if you just give me a chance.”
“I agree,” she surprised me by saying. “That’s why I’m here, love.”
My brows shot up in surprise. “You agree?”
Edel nodded. “I wanted to have you over that night. I thought it would be good for Joey to have you with him, but Darren had just lost his mother, too, and I didn’t have the heart to fight with him. He genuinely believed that he was doing the right thing for his brother. He was so adamant that he knew what was best.” She took a sip of coffee before setting the mug back down and saying, “But I have a feeling that the best thing for Joey is sitting in this kitchen.”
Her words.
God, her words meant so much to me in this moment.
They curled around my heart like a warm hug.
“You’ll take me to him?”
She offered me a sad smile and nodded. “You should have never been kept apart in the first place, love. It was an error of judgement on my part, and it will never happen again.”
I was on my feet before she finished her sentence. “I’m ready now.”
“No,” Dad blurted out. “I don’t want her to go.”
“Tony,” Mam sighed. “Please just—”
“I’m sorry, I know the lad’s in a bad way,” Dad argued, sounding genuinely torn. “And I would half my heart with him to make him better, I swear I would, but not at the expense of my daughter’s welfare.”
“Tony.“
“Aoife’s over five months pregnant. She needs to be here where she’s safe and not stressed out.”
“I’m going, Dad.”
“Aoife, no, please. Would you just think of yourself for a minute?”
“I’m going, Dad,” I repeated, setting Sean down on his feet. “And there’s nothing you, Darren, or anyone else can say to stop me.”
