All night, I dreamed of Errik. I cannot stop thinking about him and our conversation yesterday. When I asked him what I should do about King Henrick, he merely advised me to do what makes me happy.
Sadness settles in my chest. Errik must not have feelings for me like I thought he might. If he did, surely he would have said something. If our situations were reversed, I believe I would have, at least.
Then again, maybe not. We spend time together every day, but I’ve never told him how I feel. Deep down, I fear he would only reject me. I am human, not Mer. And, why would he want me when I am broken?
King Henrick, however, does not seem deterred by my condition.
The first of the sun’s rays filter in from the balcony as Gerold walks into my room. He greets me warmly. “King Henrick has just arrived. His ships were seen down at the docks. You should dress quickly; I will send for you once he is here.”
I’m so nervous, I can hardly think. The man who may be my future husband is here. Compulsively, my thoughts return to Errik. I wish that I were Mer, or that he were human. I love him, but our love cannot be. Besides, I doubt he would ever return my affections. And if I truly care about my people and our kingdom, I will push aside my selfish desires for a man I could never possibly have, and do what is best for them.
I bathe and then dress. Althea comes in to check on me as she does every morning and night.
She takes hold of the sole of my left foot. “Push as hard as you can against me, Halla.”
I grit my teeth and concentrate all my energy and effort on my task. My body is slow to respond but eventually obeys. After I exercise the other foot, her lips quirk up in a faint smile. “There is some improvement.”
“But not much.” I voice the words she does not.
She nods, taking my hand and squeezing gently. “The Fae have many methods of healing. Once they send their Healer, I have great hope that they will be able to help you, Halla.”
“At least King Henrick does not seem to care if I am whole or not,” I say, trying to find the bright spot in all of this suffering. “That bodes well, does it not?”
She smiles. “Yes, it certainly does.”
“Althea, you have traveled far and wide, have you not?”
She nods.
“Have you ever—” I stop short, uncertain how to ask what I want. Drawing in a deep breath, I force the words past my lips. “Have you ever heard of a human bonding to a Mer?”
Her eyes snap up to mine and her expression falters. “Why do you ask this?”
“I… was simply curious,” I lie. “That’s all.”
She sits on the edge of the bed, clasping her hands tightly together in her lap as she straightens. Her gaze meets mine evenly. “I have heard of this. But, as far as I know, such pairings do not end well.”
“What do you mean?”
“One trapped by the sea and the other forced to live on land.” Something akin to sadness flashes briefly behind her eyes. “How could such a bonding ever withstand that kind of permanent separation? It would be doomed to fail from the start, Halla.” Her gaze holds mine. “Do you understand?”
I swallow against the lump in my throat. “Yes.”
“Come now.” She forces a cheery smile to her face. “Let us go meet this King Henrick. I have heard he is a good man.”
I’m anxious, and I don’t like the idea of waiting in my room. So, instead of waiting for Gerold to come back and help me, I wheel myself to the door and push down my pride as I ask one of the guards to carry me down the stairs to the throne room, where I know Gerold will be receiving King Henrick.
As soon as the guard carries me through the doorway, Gerold’s lips tip up in a smirk. “I knew you’d be down here as soon as you were dressed.”
The guard gently helps me into my chair, and I wheel myself to Gerold’s side. I’m too nervous to conjure a witty reply or joke. I push my hands into my lap, wringing the fabric of my dress as I try but fail to calm my nerves.
“Is this what you do all day? Sit here and do nothing?” I cannot help but tease him.
“What are you talking about?” He laughs. “I’m rarely in this room. I’m only here now to wait for your suitor’s arrival. For you, I might add.”
“For us,” I remind him.
He frowns, the mood between us somber now. “You know you need not do anything you do not wish. Please tell me that you understand that, my dear sister.”
“I do,” I reply, thankful that I have a brother who loves me more than he loves wealth. “Even if I refuse his hand, we can still ask him for help.”
Gerold nods, but it is easy to read the fatigue in his expression. The weight of the entire kingdom rests on his shoulders. I cannot imagine how terrible a burden it must be. “I know we should, but I do not know how,” he admits. “I am dreading it, to be honest. I feel like I’ve failed our people, Halla.”
It is rare that my brother is not in a teasing or joking mood. He must be deeply worried that he is not a good king if he is admitting his fears aloud.
He continues. “The dragon’s attack has left us vulnerable. Whatever cannons were not destroyed, their munitions have almost all been spent.”
“Can we still defend the city against pirates?”
“No,” he replies soberly. “That is what keeps me awake at night. We never needed to worry about an attack before, but now that we are weak, I fear it is only a matter of time before they come to prey on us.”
I cannot deny that this news unnerves me. No wonder my brother appears so worn of late.
I take his hand, drawing his attention back to me. “You are a wise, fit ruler, Gerold. I know that you work every day to help with the cleanup and oversee the reconstruction of this city. It is not your fault that the dragon came, but you are doing everything you can to restore Solwyck to the best of your abilities. Anyone with honor will recognize this. If they are truly our friends and allies, they will understand that you are asking not because you failed as a king, but because you are humble enough to seek aid for your people.”
A ghost of a smile curls his lips. “Did I ever tell you that you give wise council, my dear sister?”
“Never.” I grin. “But you may start now.”
