When morning comes, I’m excited at the thought that I’ll be meeting with Errik later. I dreamed of him again last night. I reach up and gently touch my lips at the memory of his mouth against mine. It was my first kiss. I know he only did it so that he could save me, but I cannot stop thinking about it.
Gerold carries me downstairs for breakfast. As we sit across from one another, he tells me about the progress that has been made on the modifications to the castle to accommodate my chair.
I listen half-heartedly, putting on my best cheery face because I know how hard he’s trying to make things easier for me. But the thought of being bound to this chair forever is devastating.
As Gerold drones on, I glance at the grand staircase beyond the open double doors. We used to slide down the bannisters when we were children. Althea was always after us to stop, but we would continue anyway.
I stood at the top of those stairs in my most elegant dress and crown to greet Prince Edwyrd when he came to Solwyck seeking my hand for a betrothal. We danced most of the night in celebration after Father sealed the arrangement. I was not in love with him, but our conversation flowed well. In his eyes, I could see a man would listen to me as his partner. I’d hoped that love might come later between us, but I know now that it never will.
“Are you paying attention?” Gerold’s voice pulls me back from my thoughts.
Tears sting my eyes, but I blink them back. “Of course, I am.”
Sadness fills his expression. He reaches forward and takes my hand. “Halla, I do not mean to upset you. I am simply trying to make it easier for you to navigate the castle with your chair.”
I pull my hand away, clenching my jaw as I study him. The pity in his eyes is more than I can bear. “You’ve already given up on me.”
“Never,” he denies. “I—”
“Yes, you have,” I state firmly. “Just admit it.”
He sighs heavily. “I have not given up hope that you may walk again, Halla. Why do you think I’ve sent for Healers from all across the land? I’ve even begged other kingdoms, that are not our allies, for their Healers as well. I will not give up until we’ve exhausted every possibility.” He frowns and lowers his gaze. “Only then will I allow myself to accept it.”
“Accept what?” I ask, my tone sharper than I’d intended.
He sits back in his chair and scrubs a hand across his face. “Why do you do this?”
“Do what?” I shoot back.
“Take your anger out on me.”
His words pierce my heart as sure as any dagger. My anger dissipates immediately, and I reach for his hand again, squeezing it gently. “I’m sorry, Gerold. Forgive me. It’s just—” my breath hitches. “Sometimes I feel so helpless, and I hate that. I hate having to rely on others so that I can get around.”
“I know, my dear sister. I’m so sorry this happened to you. There is not a single day that I do not wish it were me in your stead.” His eyes brighten with tears. “It should have been me, not you, Halla.”
“Do not say that,” I tell him. “I love you and I would never wish to trade this with you, Gerold.” I pause as my gaze drops to my legs. “I would not wish it on anyone.”
After breakfast, I make my way down to the shoreline. The ocean is calm today. The waves gentle and rolling instead of turbulent like they were only a few days ago. Staring out at the crystal blue sea, I breathe deep of the crisp, salted air that blows in off the water.
I’ve always loved the sea. I used to live for days like this. I’d run along the beach and then dive into the water to cool myself after. Althea used to tease that I was born part fish.
I cast my gaze out to one of the rock formations, far in the distance. I used to challenge myself by swimming to it. It would take every bit of my effort to make it there and then back again.
Clenching my jaw, I allow my gaze to drift over the sea. I curl my hands into fists at my side. I have never backed down from a challenge and this will not be any different. Whatever it takes, I will strengthen my body and I will walk again someday.
Carefully, I peel off my clothes, leaving me only in my undergarments. I push myself out of my chair. For a moment, I wonder if I’ll be able to stand. Instead, I drop to my knees on the pebbled shoreline and drag myself into the water.
“Halla!” someone calls out, and I recognize Errik’s voice right away. He swims up beside me. “Your knees are bleeding. Why did you not wait for me to help you?”
“I’m fine,” I tell him.
“Does it not hurt?”
“No.” I hate that it doesn’t pain me when I know it should. I change the subject. “How did you know to meet me here so early?”
“I took a chance.” He grins. “And I’m glad that I did.”
He’s so handsome, and when he smiles, my entire body flushes with warmth.
He places two fingers up under my chin, tipping my face up to his. “What does this mean?”
“What?” I ask, not sure what he’s talking about.
He brushes his thumb across my cheek. “This red coloring that blooms across your skin.”
My face turns even redder. “It happens when we’re excited or nervous about something,” I explain. “It can also happen when we’re attracted to someone.”
He studies me with an intense gaze. “Why do you turn this color now?”
“I’m excited to swim.” The lie burns my tongue. “That’s all.”
A gorgeous grin curves his mouth. “All right. Then, let’s go.”
He follows beside me as I do laps back and forth between the rock formation we met at yesterday and the shore. I’m able to kick a bit with my legs, but not much. After a while, the muscles of my arms begin to burn from the exertion.
I stop and turn so that I can float on my back. Errik mimics this, floating beside me. “Why do you push yourself so much? Why not just enjoy swimming?”
I stare up at the clouds, watching the birds flying overhead. I point to them. “You see those birds?”
“Yes.”
“I want to be free like that again.”
He turns his gaze to me, his brow creased slightly.
I continue. “I used to feel like I could do anything. But now… I just feel so weak sometimes. I hate having to rely on others to carry me places that my chair cannot go. I just… want to be free and strong again, Errik.”
“You are strong,” he says.
“No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are,” he counters. “I have seen Mer who have lost the use of their tails after a back injury. They still have the use of their arms, but… they give up. They refuse to swim anymore and eventually just allow themselves to fade away.” His eyes meet mine. “But you do not do this. You have not given up. You are stronger than you realize, Halla.”
“Not strong enough for some,” I murmur, more to myself than to him.
“What do you mean?”
With a slight clench of my jaw, I cast my gaze to the sky again. “My betrothed has rejected me because of my… condition.”
“Then, I say you are well rid of him,” Errik states firmly.
My eyes snap to his.
“He does not deserve you.”
A smile crests my lips. “Thank you, Errik.”
“You do not have to thank me for speaking the truth.”
I study his glowing blue eyes, noting the kindness behind them. “You are strong, Halla. Even if you do not believe it.”
I hope he is right. Sometimes, I feel as if I will break from my sadness. I turn my gaze back out to the water and begin to swim more laps. I refuse to give up. Someday, I will walk again.
After I’ve done several more laps, Errik and I lay on our sides, facing each other in the sand. The small island rock formation providing privacy from the rest of the world as we gaze out at the setting sun.
The last of its golden rays casting shimmering reflections across the water’s surface in a dazzling display. “I didn’t realize it was already so late,” I tell him.
He smiles. “Neither did I.” He rolls onto his back, folding his hands behind his head. “My father’s probably going to be furious when I get home. He hates when I’m out late and especially when he finds out it’s near the shoreline.”
“What about your mother?” I ask.
His expression falls. “She died when I was a child. She and several others were trying to help a ship that had been caught on the open sea in a storm.”
I go still. “Was the ship called The Queen’s Pride?”
“Yes, how did you—”
Tears fill my eyes. “My mother was on that ship. She died that day as well.”
He reaches across and takes my hand. His palm smooth as silk as he squeezes it gently. “I am sorry for your loss, Halla.”
“And I’m sorry for yours too, Errik.”
He lowers his gaze. “My father hates humans now because of what happened. He blames them for her death.”
“My father felt the same about Mer,” I offer. “But my brother and I do not share his beliefs.”
A faint smile curls Errik’s mouth. “My brother and I do not share our father’s either.”
“You have a brother?”
“Toren. He is a few years younger than me, and not quite as handsome.” He gives me a teasing grin. “Do you have more siblings?” he asks. “Or is it just you and your brother?”
“Just me and Gerold. He’s a few years older than me. We’ve always been close.” I pause. “I’m so thankful I did not lose him that day too… when the dragon attacked the city.”
Still holding my hand, Errik brushes the pad of his thumb across my knuckles. “I am sorry about your father, Halla.”
Emotions lodge in my throat, but I somehow manage to speak around them. “Thank you.”
As his gaze holds mine, there is something about him that draws me in. It’s as if my soul somehow recognizes his. I remember my mother telling me the story of how she met my father. They fell in love at first sight.
I’ll admit that, when I got older, I did not believe such a thing was possible. But now that I’ve met Errik, I am beginning to think that I may be wrong.
There is something so familiar about him. The silence between us as we lie on the sand is neither awkward nor strained.
“Do your people believe in fate?” The question escapes my lips before I even realize I’ve spoken it aloud.
His glowing blue eyes study me. “Yes, we do. My parents were fated to each other.”
A faint smile crests my lips. “So were mine. At least… that’s what my mother always told us.”
“It’s strange, is it not?” he asks. “When you think of all the people who had to meet so that we could be here now.”
“What do you mean?”
“All of our ancestors.” A smile tilts his lips. “If they had not met, neither would we. So, in a way,” he says. “Fate led us to each other, Halla.”
His gaze holds mine as he reaches out and gently tucks a stray tendril of hair behind my ear. The gesture is so intimate, my cheeks flare with heat. “If I were human, what would we do, Halla?” he asks softly, and I wonder what he means.
I can interpret his words a hundred different ways, but I hope it means he feels for me as I do him.
Yet, even as I think this, I know it is impossible. He’s not human and I am not Mer. No matter how much I wish I could be.
“Halla!” Gerold calls out from the shoreline. “Where are you?”
“I’m here, Gerold!” I reply. “I’m coming back!”
I turn to Errik. “I have to go. Will I see you tomorrow?”
He flashes a gorgeous smile. “Yes.”
