Nicola packs her things up and leaves around mid-morning. Just as she’s leaving though, Amara comes back.
“Hey Layla,” she calls, letting herself in. What’s she doing home? Shouldn’t she be at work? What if she sees something that Nicola brought and gets suspicious?
She’s already suspicious enough. I don’t need this right now!
Augh!
I need to get it together. I’m becoming paranoid. I need to relax and think this through. They thought I was sick this morning. I told them it was dust. There is no reason for my family to suspect anything if I don’t act strange.
So, just be normal.Normal, I tell myself. I’m sitting in bed still when Amara enters my room.
“Why are you home?” I blurt out as soon as she comes in.
So much for acting normal.
“I switched my shift around so I could come check on you,” Amara says, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Don’t worry, I told the dark elf guards you have a case of pillas-pox.”
I roll my eyes. The dark elves don’t know that pillas-pox is a code us humans use to get out of work from time to time.
“I took a night shift, traded with someone from the village,” she adds. “I bet you knowallabout the night shift, right?” she teases.
I stare at her for a second, everything coming flooding back at once. I don’t know why but I burst into tears.
“Shit, I’m sorry Layla. I didn’t mean to tease you! Don’t be upset!” She pulls me in for a hug. “Please don’t tell mom that I was teasing you again. She gets after me for it. But I just thought you could use some cheering up and…”
“It’s not that,” I say, wiping my tears. “I have to tell you something.”
“Okay.” Amara snuggles into the bed with me, sitting on top of the sheets to listen.
“I met someone. One of the dark elf guards. He was nice and charming. Different. We met when I was arguing with one of the overseers…”
“You argue with everyone,” Amara rolls her eyes.
“Yeah but this guard…he was new and he managed to get the overseer to change his mind. He doesn’t see humans as inferior. We became friends and kept running into each other, and…” I trail off, not sure how much I want to admit.
Amara squeezes my hand to encourage me to keep going. “Well I don’t remember how it happened but one day one of us made the first move and suddenly we were kissing one day in the alley after work. It was exciting at first, passionate and forbidden.”
I smile at the memory of those first few months. “We started seeing each other regularly after a while. That’s where I’ve been going every night. He’s sweet but we both knew this wouldn’t last. We always knew our time together had an end,” I finish, starting to cry all over again.
“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry Layla,” Amara pulls me close. “I knew you were seeing someone. It had to be that. I didn’t know it was a dark elf guard but I knew you were seeing someone. And you’re sure you can’t tell him?”
“I can’t,” I shake my head. “He’s always been insistent that what we had between us was just physical.”
“Oh. So…are you keeping it?”
“Yeah,” I nod. “I’m keeping the baby.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Nicola fudged the details of my condition on my paperwork,” I tell her. “She and I decided to put down that I have tuberculosis caused by the dust in the mines. And that as my healer, she recommends me for an immediate transfer to work on the docks in a tropical climate, where I can heal. I’m going to Zerva.”
Zerva is the main island in the Yarcarres Isles, a series of islands southeast of the continent. Though Nicola didn’t ask, I could tell she guessed that the baby is of mixed descent and she assured me that Zerva is a much more inclusive place than here.
“That’s so far away,” Amara says wistfully. “But it’s a good plan. You’ll be safe there, away from the mines. I know you hate it here.”
“I don’t hate it,” I tell her. “I just don’t want to spend my life toiling in the mines. I’ll miss you and I’ll miss Aunt Leandra and Uncle Jethro.”
“We’ll miss you too. But you’re right. Zerva can give you and the baby a better life. I hope that one day I might get to meet my niece or nephew.”
“They’ll be your cousin, too,” I point out.
“You’re more than just my cousin,” Amara says. “You’re my sister. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. And I want what’s best for you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“Thank you!” I’ve given up on trying to stop myself from crying at this point. It’s fruitless.
“Do you want company when you go to turn the paperwork in?” Amara asks as she strokes my hair.
“I don’t need to go to the Lieutenant,” I tell her, sniffling. “But thanks for offering. Nicola said she would turn in her part of the paperwork and all I have to do is show up at his office this afternoon for my new orders.”
“Alright then,” she says, swinging her legs around to stand up again. “I’m going to make lunch. Do you feel up to eating?”
“Now that I don’t feel sick anymore, I’m actually ravenous,” I tell her truthfully. She giggles and leaves while I stay in bed and think everything over.
If I’m leaving, I have to tell Kerym, right? Or maybe I don’t. Will he even notice I’m gone? He might notice but he’ll be disappointed for a few days before finding some other pretty girl to warm his bed, I’m sure.
I can’t tell him anyway. His family would never approve of us. And he’s got grand ambitions. I’ll just get in the way of that. It’s better if I just disappear quietly. Our baby might not know his father but I can love our child enough for both of us.
A smile creeps across my face as I think about the little life that’s nestled itself away inside me, growing and becoming a whole person in there.
It’s amazing. Maybe it’s a sign from the cosmos. Or a gift. Something that shows me that I’m destined for more than eking out a meager life in the mines here on Tlouz.
My mind wanders to the idea of traveling to Zerva. I’ve never traveled anywhere before. I suppose I traveled from Orthani to Tlouz as a baby but that’s it. I’ve never seen any of the world outside of the mining camps here.
My baby will be able to see more of the world too. The thought has me nearly bouncing in my seat. I wonder if I’ll have a boy or a girl. Some part of me wouldn’t mind a girl but I also can’t help imagining a little boy, with Kerym’s violet eyes.
Even if I can’t be with him, at least I’ll be able to take a piece of him wherever I go. I’ll always have that part of him now, that special gift.
Amara comes back to tell me that lunch is ready and I get out of bed and join her for a hearty vegetable soup. She even cut up extra slices of thick, brown bread for me, insisting that I eat her share of the bread for the baby’s sake.
I’m going to miss my family when I leave. I know I’ve been standoffish with Amara lately but she really is like a sister to me. I can’t imagine not seeing her every day. I start crying again halfway through the meal.
“I’m sorry,” I say between sobs. “I don’t want to leave you.”
“I don’t want you to leave me either,” Amara has tears in her eyes too, which makes me feel a little better at not being the only one crying. “But you’re doing the right thing for the baby. Raising a kid here…it’s no life. Even I know that, and I don’t have any current plans of leaving mom and dad.”
“I’m going to miss Aunt Leandra and Uncle Jethro too,” I tell her. “You’ll explain things to them, right?”
I know I will likely be shipped out as soon as I head to the Lieutenant’s office. I won’t have much time to pack or say my goodbyes. Nicola said that there are guards shipping out today and I’ll likely be sent off with them.
“Of course I will,” Amara insists. “I’m sorry you can’t tell them yourself.” She comes over and gives me a tight hug.
It’s hard though. It’s hard saying goodbye to everyone and everything I’ve ever known. I can’t imagine not eating Aunt Leandra’s hotcakes every rest day. Or helping Uncle Jethro till the small garden in the back. I don’t even want to imagine how I’ll get on without Amara watching my back.
“I know I’m doing the right thing. I’m just sorry I have to say goodbye,” I tell her as we hug.
After lunch, Layla helps me pack my few possessions and gives me more bread for the journey.
“Be safe,” she says, hugging me once more.
I give one last look to the house before I head off to the Lieutenant’s office.
