I head back down to the docks immediately, telling the crew to turn the boat around and sail right back to Zerva.
“We just arrived!” the captain says with a scowl.
“And you can just turn around and leave,” I argue back. “Do it or I’ll make your lives harder!”
The crew are understandably peeved about the sudden change of plans but it doesn’t take much to change their minds when they see exactly how little I wish to be crossed right now. I don’t have the patience to deal with sulky sailors. Not when there’s a woman and child waiting for me on the other side.
I can’t believe I was stupid enough to leave them. I can’t believe I didn’t fight harder to stay. I should have put my foot down with Layla and told her that she was coming with me whether she liked it or not.
“Hoist anchor!” the captain yells. We’re about to take off. I hope my father doesn’t try to stop me. No one better try to stop me or I’ll cut them down. I’ll kill anyone who gets in my way right now.
As I’m standing there on the ship, leaning on the railing, dread grows inside me. I’m not regretting standing up to my father because I’m glad I said something, I just worry that my outburst has put Layla and Jasper in danger. There are very real consequences to human-elf relations. Plenty out there are vocally opposed to the idea.
It’s not illegal but there are dark elves who might just lash out at Layla for her choice. My heart beats furiously as I try to calm myself, reckoning that I’m on my way back and everything will be fine.
But what if a hit-team gets to them before I can? What if father exposes everything that’s happened and I lose all of my power and standing before I can secure a place for us all?
Or worse still…what if father has them killed?
I wouldn’t put it past him. He can be scary when he wants to be. He was always incredibly strict and harsh with us growing up. He may never have beat me but he was certainly a tough disciplinarian.
Memories of being forced to stand at attention for hours surface in my mind. If I acted out, I might be forced to go on long marches before I could have dinner. I decide now that I will never do that to my own son.
We’re cutting through the dark waters quickly, thankfully. I can’t have anything delaying me from getting back to Layla or Jasper. It’s already late at night.
“Can we arrive before midnight?” I demand the captain.
“Not likely,” he answers, eyes never leaving the horizon. “There’s no good wind. We’re having to sail through as best we can.”
Not good enough. At this rate, we won’t arrive until tomorrow. I have to get there sooner. What if there’s already an assassin being notified by messenger karasu?
“Hoist the aft sail!” I order the crew. “Find a headwind, now, or I’ll have your heads!” They give me dirty looks but refrain from saying anything. A muscle in the captain’s cheek is flexing as he grits his teeth.
“There must be something you can do!” I shout at the captain. “I’m not in the mood to be trifled with! Get this ship sailing faster or you’ll lose your head!”
He glowers at me. This won’t do. I don’t have a lot of money but I’ll do anything to move this damnable ship along faster, even if it means rowing the thing myself. “Here,” I hold out a bag of coin, pressing it into the captain’s hand. “Find a way.”
He looks down and nods once. “Hoist the aft sail and wake the night crew up,” he yells. “Let’s get this boat back to Zerva.
I breathe a sigh of relief. We’ll get there as soon as we can now.
Layla is there right now, thinking that I don’t care about her. I should have fought harder, I should have told her the truth.
I can’t waste another minute of our lives without telling her how much I love her. She should know that I’ll follow her wherever she goes. If she wants to stay on Zerva, I’ll stay with her. We can build a life together there.
I’ll give up my job, my position as Lieutenant, anything. I just want to be there to see Jasper grow up. I missed so much and I can’t bear the thought of missing more. If I have to get a new job on the island, I’ll find a way to do it.
The wind picks up speed and I grin. We’ll get there before the break of dawn at this point.
My mind drifts back to my family as we sail farther away from Zhoig. I envy my brother. Salnath and Ursalah seemed so happy together. They’re so excited to welcome their daughter into the family.
He’s the only one in my family who has ever tried to be supportive. I don’t think I gave him enough credit growing up. It was hard to live in his shadow, always being compared to him.
But he seemed genuinely happy for me when I told them about Layla. That means so much to me, that I know that I have someone in my corner.
Gods, Salnath is so lucky. He gets to be with Ursalah from the beginning of the pregnancy all the way through. I wonder how Layla looked when she was pregnant. I’m sad I missed out on the sight of her with a rounded, swollen belly, carrying Jasper inside her like the world’s best secret.
I’m going to make it up to them though. I’m going to be the best dad, I won’t miss out on anything else. Jasper is going to have a baby cousin soon too! Maybe Jasper can teach Ariah a few things about magic.
Salnath wanted to meet them, I hope that means he’ll be okay with Ariah and Jasper being friends. I want them to be friends. I want my son to know his cousin.
We’re getting closer now. I can feel it in my bones.
Just when I think things are going well, everything starts to go wrong. The winds pick up speed and the night sky grows thick with clouds. Rain bursts from the cosmos like angry tears of the gods.
A storm hits, delaying our trip.
The captain orders me below decks, as I’m no use to the sailors and a liability if I get swept overboard.
I end up stuck in my tiny cabin, the ship tossing us from side to side as the storm rages. Glowering at the ceiling, all I can do is lay there.
Shit! Why are the gods against me? I still don’t believe in them but I’m starting to suspect that they have a vendetta against me for my disbelief.
I cling to the bed, praying in my head that I make it to Zerva without incident at this rate. If I perish, at least I die knowing that I did everything I could to get back to my family. It’s not like I haven’t sacrificed everything for her. What’s my life at this point?
The storm is tossing us about so hard that it’s all I can do to hold on. Should I try to get some shut eye? At this rate we’re going to take longer to get to Zerva than I expected.
It feels impossible to sleep but at some point I must drift off because I end up waking up in the morning to the first break of dawn, the storm over.
I rush to the deck, trying to figure out where we are. The captain looks irritable. “We’re about twenty miles off course,” he snaps. “Thanks to your orders to rush, we hit the storm at the wrong time. We’re going to be a bit later than I planned.”
Sighing, I head to the upper decks to look out at the waters, hoping to catch a glimpse of Zerva the minute she comes in sight.
My mind drifts back to Layla and Jasper. Did they sleep alright last night? Did Jasper stop crying at some point? Does Layla miss me or was she glad I left?
It doesn’t matter. I’ll win her over. I’ll do whatever it takes to win her back. Even if I have to grovel at her feet, I’ll make sure she knows that she and Jasper come first from now on.
I’m never going to miss another moment of their lives. Jasper still has so many firsts and I can’t wait to see every single one of them. Maybe Layla will be willing to meet my brother and his mate if I tell her how supportive they are. Then Jasper can definitely meet his new cousin.
It will be so wonderful to have them with me. I can’t wait for them to show me everything in their lives that I missed, everything that they’ve built together. I’ll have to find something to do now that I’m no longer going to be a Lieutenant in the service.
Maybe I’ll fish. Maybe I’ll become a merchant. Who cares! That’s the beauty of it all. I’m free now. It’s scary but it will be okay with Layla and Jasper by my side.
I’m pulled from my thoughts when the sailors begin shouting that Zerva is coming into view.
We’re almost there!
