Prove it were the two words she said to me before hopping out of my car and running through her apartment door that night. She didn’t trust people either. Or more to the point, she didn’t trust me. Cassie Andrews didn’t need rescuing, but I still wanted to save her.
She wanted me to prove that she was different from all the other girls I’d been with. Apparently she didn’t realize she already was. I asked her out on a date and I never ask girls out. Hooking up at a party or a club was one thing. That’s easy. I can do anything with a beer in my hand, or an audience watching.
But asking Cassie out in the daylight, dead sober, with no one around…that was something I’d never done before. She made me nervous as hell. I knew she wasn’t like other girls the moment I saw the disgusted look on her face after I called her “Kitten.” Most girls would have creamed their pants if I called them that. But not Cassie. She looked like she wanted to punch me in the jaw.
And I’ve wanted to kiss her ever since.
The first order of business in my prove-to-Cassie-I’m-serious agenda consisted of ditching my usual table filled with random fan-girls to sit with her in the student union. I figured that giving her priority attention in public showed my intent. The whispers and comments were brutal that first month with my teammates bagging on me every chance they got. Not to mention the relentless advances from what appeared to be every female on campus under the age of thirty.
I never realized how exhausting it was to turn women away. It was one thing to hook up with them and then call it a day, but to be off the market completely was something I’d never dealt with before. To put it simply, girls don’t like being rejected, especially if it’s because of another girl.
But no one knew what it was like to be me. I’d finally met a girl who didn’t try to impress me. She didn’t care about what I did as an athlete; she cared about what I did as a person. I was jumping into this thing with both feet. Holding on to Cassie with both arms.
Number two on my list consisted of spending as much time with her outside of school as possible. I made myself a regular at the apartment she shared with Melissa, where Cassie and I had become masters at making out.
I never knew you could spend hours just kissing a girl. I never knew because I’d never done it before. In the last month, I’d learned just how erotic kissing could be. Many nights I’d left her place unsatisfied sexually, but completely content emotionally.
I sound like a fucking chick. I want to go drink a beer and punch something.
That’s better.
With enough food on my tray to feed an army, I passed a group of panting girls in the student union on my way toward Cassie. A sorority chick named Andrea stopped me with a hand on my arm. I moved away from her touch, scowling at her hand. “What?” I asked sharply, uninterested in whatever was about to spill from her lips.
“Our sorority formal is coming up, Jack.” She paused, her eyelashes batting at a ridiculous pace. “And I thought you could come with?”
“No.” The huge smile fell from her face.
“Why not? Is it because of her?” She sneered in Cassie’s direction.
“None of your business, Andrea. And if you ever refer to my girlfriend like that again, I’ll find someone to teach you a little respect.”
She huffed at me, all offended, and I walked away, noticing Melissa laughing in my direction.
“You girls are a species all your own.” I shook my head in disbelief as I nudged my tray against Cassie’s.
She glanced around at the girls whispering and watching us. “Tell me about it.”
“It’s been a month, ladies. Time to get over it already.” Melissa waved her hand into the air, her voice raised.
“Sorry to put you in the spotlight, Kitten.” I knew she hated it when I called her that, but I couldn’t help it. I liked it. I tossed my arm around her shoulder and pulled her into me, my thumb caressing her soft skin. Her hair tickled my neck as it fell around my back and I wished I could hold on to her forever. I kissed the top of her head before letting her go, her green eyes forming half moons as she smiled.
“I guess it comes with the territory.” She looked at me, her cheeks tinged with pink.
“The territory of being Jack freaking Carter’s girlfriend,” Melissa added with a laugh.
“Glad you’re on board with this, Melis.” I smiled, encouraged by her attitude.
“Jack, you’re still an asshole but you’ve grown on me. And if you hurt Cassie, I’ll break your pitching arm. Capisce?”
“Capisce,” I responded, purely to humor Cassie’s fun-sized best friend.
I leaned into my girl, the smell of her shampoo engulfing my senses. “You know I’d never hurt you on purpose.”
Cassie immediately turned to face me, her eyebrows pinched together. “That’s not really reassuring. You know that, right?”
“I’m just being realistic. Don’t want to make you promises I can’t keep,” I added, hinting at rule number three of her boy test.
“So you can’t promise that you won’t hurt me?” Her tone was annoyed and I instantly wished I could take back my words.
“Cass, I don’t ever want to hurt you, but I can’t promise you that I’ll never screw up or make you mad.” I paused, trying to make the thoughts in my head come out right.
“He’s good at pissing people off. Isn’t that right, big brother?” I looked up to see Dean smirking at me, and took a half-hearted swipe at him as he sat down next to me.
“That’s the rumor.” I nodded with a smile.
“Plus, if he pushes you away, then you won’t be the one who left him. He’ll be the one who made you leave,” Dean added defiantly.
I glared at my little brother for his openness in such a public space. I glanced around, making sure no one was too close to overhear.
“I don’t plan on going anywhere.” Cassie put her hand on top of mine and squeezed. “So don’t try to make me.”
Relief coursed through my body with her reassurance. I had spent so much of my life convinced that no girl would ever want to be with the real me, that I’d never given anyone a chance to prove me wrong. If my own mom didn’t love me enough to stay, how would anyone else?
“Jesus, I’ve never met two people more scared to let someone love them than the two of you,” Melissa remarked with a frown.
I opened my mouth to protest when she continued, her ponytail bobbing from side to side as she moved her head. “And don’t even try to deny it. You’re both all messed up from your stupid parents. Cassie here,” she lifted her hand in Cassie’s direction, “with her dad’s constant lies and inability to follow through on even the simplest, most mundane thing, has been disappointed and let down most of her life.”
Her hand pointed in my direction. “And you, with your mom up and leaving, telling you it was your fault because you were a bad kid. You’re convinced that no one will ever stick around. That eventually, they’ll leave you too. And somewhere in your twisted, screwed-up psyche, you probably think you deserve it.”
Melissa had finally dragged my sorry story out of me, late one night when the three of us were hanging out at their apartment. Cassie had kept her promise and hadn’t told her best friend, so it was up to me to fill Melissa in. Damn, it seemed like such a good idea at the time.
Melissa took a quick breath and then delivered her final assessment. “You’re both so screwed up alone that together you’re like the perfect mess.”
The table fell briefly silent as her rant sank in. I thought about protesting, but wasn’t sure she was all that wrong.
“That’s an attractive analogy. Thanks for saying I’m screwed up.” Cassie’s voice was sharp, her feelings clearly hurt.
I shot Melissa a murderous glare before reaching for Cassie’s chin and turning her face to mine. “I’ll be the perfect mess with you anytime.”
Cassie quickly swiped under her eye and leaned her head against my shoulder. She released a deep sigh. “Melissa just doesn’t know anything about having messed-up parents. Hers are perfect. She can’t relate.”
“Hey! It’s not my fault I won the parent lottery.” Melissa eyed Cassie. “Plus, we both know I’m not strong enough to deal with the shit you’ve dealt with. I would’ve had a nervous breakdown by now. I could never handle everything your dad’s put you through.”
Cassie’s body shook lightly against mine as she released a slight laugh, causing the tension in my chest and back to release. I realized in that moment that her feelings affected my own. I’d never let anyone hurt her as long as I was around. And if they did, I’d sure as hell make them pay for it.
“I don’t know if it’s because I’m strong or because I’ve gotten really good at turning off my emotions,” Cassie commented, her voice soft.
“It’s definitely both.” Melissa turned to me. “And Jack, I’ve never seen anyone completely shut off the way this one can.” Her head tilted toward Cass. “If you push her too far, she’ll flick off like a light switch. It’s scary.”
“Really? That’s impressive,” I teased as my fingers caressed her side.
“You won’t feel that way if she does it to you. Trust me.” Melissa’s face was the scary kind of serious.
“Well, I hope I never have to see it.”
“If I didn’t compartmentalize, I’d never be able to function! It’s the only way I can survive without being a total basket case.” Cassie’s face was serious as she defended herself.
“I get it, Kitten. Still impressive.” I smiled as she looked up at me.
“So when do you leave for Texas?” Dean’s question changed the subject and broke the tension. Thank God for little brothers, especially those who can talk around a mouthful of cheeseburger.
“We fly out Thursday morning. Why?”
“Just wondering.”
Cassie sat upright and turned to face me. “What do you do when you’re there? Like how does it work? Do you practice? Do parents go?”
Cassie always had a million questions about everything, but it turned me on. She was so damn inquisitive and smart. “Well, we typically fly in the day before our games start. We check in at the hotel. We’ll have practice and work out and have dinner as a team. Some parents go, but not many.”
“Does everyone get their own room?” she asked, her voice half impressed, half shocked.
“No.” I let out a laugh. “We share rooms.”
“Do you have like bed checks and stuff?”
I nodded and noticed Melissa’s elbows planted firmly on the table, her ears taking in every word. “We do. Usually Coach comes by and makes sure everyone’s in their rooms by ten.”
Her face softened. “Any other rules?”
I felt my mouth form a half smile. “No girls and no drinking,” I said with a chuckle.
She shoved against my shoulder. “I’m sure those rules never get broken, huh?”
“Nope. We’re all complete angels when we’re on the road.” My gaze darted between Melissa and Cassie, then fell on Dean, silently daring him to contradict me.
Dean let out a hearty laugh. “Angels, my ass.”
“No, wait wait wait!” Cassie’s voice broke through the chorus of laughter. “Do you guys sneak girls in your rooms? Like random strangers?”
I felt her eyes pierce mine. She wanted the truth and I didn’t want to lie to her. “Yeah.”
She rolled her eyes at my one-word response.
“Kitten. The eyes.”
“You’re such a pig.” She shook her head with disgust.
“This isn’t news! But I’m a changed man, Kitten. I swear it.” I took her chin in my fingers and pleaded, wanting her to believe me.
“We’ll see about that.” She stared back at me, her smirk evidence of her disbelief.
“Care to make a wager?” I offered, dying to loosen up the tense atmosphere.
Her face crinkled at my suggestion. “Please, tell me you don’t need a bet to stay faithful. I swear to God, Jack.”
I felt her body tighten as she angled away from me. With one humorous comment, I’d changed her body language completely. It was as though I could feel her replacing the bricks around her heart that I’d already knocked down. One by one, she cemented them back into place where she felt they belonged.
This away series was going to be the first real test in our relationship. She wasn’t sure she could trust me. I didn’t blame her though, but I was damn sure going to prove her wrong.
