I paced nervously around the kitchen while I waited for Jack to arrive.
“Why are you pacing? What the hell’s wrong with you?” Melissa looked up from her textbook and eyed me.
“I don’t know. I’m sorta freaking out,” I admitted, taking a swig from my water glass.
“About what? Seriously, Cass, I haven’t seen the guy even touch another girl since your crazy date that night.” Melissa tried to catch my gaze, her eyebrows raised.
I shook my head and continued wearing down the kitchen floor. “It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?” She sat up straighter, laying her pencil in between the pages of her book and closing it shut.
I stopped walking, took another drink, and swallowed forcefully. “I just don’t get why Dean can’t take him to the bus tomorrow. Why does he want me to do it? And why is he leaving me his death machine?”
Melissa sighed heavily. “Jesus, Cassie. Can’t the guy do something nice for you?”
“How is that nice?”
“Last time I checked, genius, your car is sitting pretty back at home.” She smirked, her head swiveling back and forth in disbelief at my stupidity.
“So?”
“So he’s leaving you his. That’s nice of him.”
“I guess.” She had a point, but my defenses were still up. “But why is he staying over?”
Melissa’s mouth fell open as she leaned her head back. “I’m such an idiot,” she admitted before smacking her palm against her forehead. “This is your first sleepover with Jack. You’re scared to spend the night with him. That’s what this is about.”
My stomach flipped and rolled with her words. I stared at the black-and-white-tiled kitchen counter, my eyes losing focus until the pattern became an unrecognizable swirl of hazy dark and light hues.
“Earth to Cassie, hello?” Melissa snapped her fingers in my direction and my eyes jerked up to meet hers.
“I’m not scared.” My stupid voice shook slightly. “I’m just…not ready.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because once you give your body to a guy, there’s no taking it back. And once you’ve done that it opens up feelings, emotions, and vulnerabilities you never knew you were capable of having. I’m not ready to give him my heart. What if he breaks it?”
“What if he doesn’t?” Melissa shot back.
The quick knock on the door startled us both and Melissa gathered her composure before I did. “Come in,” she yelled behind her.
The door swung open and Jack walked in, carrying his baseball bag in one hand and an overnight bag in the other. I watched as he dropped the baseball bag next to the door and then disappeared with his overnight bag into my bedroom. I quickly widened my eyes at Melissa before he waltzed back into the room. She stifled a laugh.
“Hey, Kitten.” He nuzzled his lips against my neck and I felt my knees begin to shake.
I forced a nervous smile. “Hungry?”
“Starved,” he answered, before his lips met mine.
All my thoughts scrambled inside my head as I released them and lost myself in his mouth. Warm cinnamon engulfed my senses as his breath and touch consumed me. No matter how hard I tried to fight it, Jack Carter always turned me to mush.
So much for that wall of yours, Cass. Kiss it good-bye.
When he pulled away, I braced my hand against the countertop to steady my shaking body. Once I was certain my legs would carry me without falling, I headed toward the refrigerator and opened the door, tearing through every tray and cabinet.
“Your options are grilled cheese, mac and cheese, or a quesadilla,” I announced, somewhat embarrassed by our lack of food choices.
“I can only pick one?” Jack teased. “What if I want them all?”
“Then you can make them.” I smirked while holding the door open with one arm. “Jack, tell me what you want!”
“I sort of do want them all. Is that bad? I’ll help.” His face crinkled as he braced for my reaction.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Fine. You make the mac and cheese and I’ll make the rest. Deal?”
I watched as the tension released from his tanned cheeks and those irresistible dimples appeared. “Deal!”
“Look at you two. Cooking in the kitchen like an old married couple,” Melissa remarked from a safe distance.
I turned toward her wishing I could suddenly shoot darts from my eyes. “Old married couple, my ass. We haven’t even made it through one road trip.”
Jack put down the pot he held and reached for me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held on to me tightly. “Kitten, are you worried about this road trip? I’m not going to fuck screw up. I promise.”
I avoided his eyes, looking straight past him toward the white wall in the distance. His fingers were suddenly caressing my cheek, before they forced my chin upward. “Look at me, Cass,” he pleaded softly.
I closed my eyes tight before opening them and focusing on his. It was so hard to put my feelings into words, all my insecurities and fears coiled inside me, eating away at the trust we’d built.
“I don’t want any other girl.” He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it gently. “You hear me?”
“I hear you,” was all I could force out in a whisper.
“But do you believe me?” He cocked his head to one side and raised an eyebrow.
I shrugged my shoulder. “I guess we’ll see.”
“Damn straight we’ll see.” He jerked his head playfully. “I’ll prove it to you.”
I rolled my eyes and he pressed his warm mouth against mine, his tongue parting my lips. I jerked away. “If this is your way of proving it…”
His mouth instantly found mine again, the heat between us hot enough to start a fire. The taut muscles of his abs pressed tightly against my stomach. I found myself suddenly aware of his fingers and their location against the small of my back, pulling me against him. His body grew harder with every moment that passed and my defenses lowered.
I maneuvered my hands underneath his shirt and ran my fingers along the curves of his back. His skin was smooth and soft, yet hard and muscular. I found myself unable to stop exploring as I caressed every inch I could reach of his warm skin. Feeling his body this way sent excited tingles shooting throughout my entire body. He pressed the hardness in his jeans against me and I struggled to catch my breath. And even though I wasn’t ready to be one of Jack Carter’s conquests, I found it difficult to resist him when I was this turned on.
Melissa cleared her throat. “Jesus, you two. I feel like I should leave a tip after watching that.”
I peeled my tingling body away from his and wiped at my bottom lip, lust blurring my vision.
“We take quarters.” Jack smirked before leaning in for one last peck.
Melissa’s face contorted with confusion at the inside joke I realized I’d never shared with her. “Whatever. I have to finish my homework. Hurry up and make me some food.”
Jack impressed me by not only helping cook dinner, but cleaning up as well. He attempted to swat me with the dish towel a total of twelve times. It annoyed the hell out of me, but I’ll admit I also found it endearing. I shook my head absentmindedly, lost in thought.
“What are you shaking your head at?” Jack asked, leaning his hip against the counter.
“I was just thinking about us.” I flashed him a reassuring smile as I placed the towel back around the handle of the stove.
“Oh, yeah? What about us?” He took a step toward me.
I put my hand up to stop him. “Just about how differently I feel about you today versus when we met at the party that night.”
“And how do you feel about me today?” He grabbed my hand and tucked it behind my back, pulling my body against his.
“Well, I don’t hate you today.” I smiled, my heart rate picking up speed.
His lips moved toward my face, brushing against my cheek without stopping. “You didn’t hate me that night either,” he whispered, his breath hot against my ear.
Excited chills replaced my will to playfully fight back. I pushed him and spun on my heels away from his hot body. “I have to get ready for bed.”
“I’ll come with you,” he called out to my retreating back.
I stopped and turned to face him, my eyes narrowing. “No, you will not.” I pressed my hand firmly against his hard chest. “You’ll stay right here until I’m done. Go watch SportsCenter or Baseball Tonight or something.”
His eyebrows pulled together. “Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
His face softened, a half smile appearing. “Okay, Kitten. You get ready for bed and I’ll wait here.”
I assumed he thought I was up to something, but the truth was I had no intention of doing anything sexual with him tonight. I wasn’t ready and before this night was through, I was going to have to admit that to him. It was a conversation I dreaded having. I washed the makeup off my face, brushed my teeth, and slipped into my pink tank top and white boxer shorts before reentering the living room.
“You can come in now,” I announced from the doorway.
Jack’s gaze slid over my body, then he pushed himself up from the couch and sauntered toward me, a smile plastered across his cheeks. “Night, Melissa.” He smacked my backside with his hand and steered me toward my bedroom.
“Stop it, brat!” I shouted as I ran into the bedroom. I watched as he closed the door behind him and then reached into his overnight bag.
“I brought you something.” He pulled an empty mason jar from his bag and handed it to me.
I turned it in my hand, my eyes narrowed in confusion before reading the handwritten note stuck to the opposite side: Kitten’s Quarters. I laughed out loud before placing the jar on top of my dresser.
“These too.” He pulled out the bag of quarters from our first date, the sound of them clinking against one another taking me back in time.
“Cute.” I smiled as he poured the contents of the bag into the jar.
“You owe me a lot of touches, Kitten.” His lips pursed together, his tone teasing.
“Apparently. Who knew you could be so clever?”
“Everyone except you,” he answered in that cocky tone so uniquely his.
“Oh, here we go,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Kitten.” Jack’s brows pulled together, his voice stern. “What did I tell you about the eyes?” He took two steps toward me and our faces nearly touched. He brushed his hand along my cheek before placing it behind my neck and pulling my mouth to his. His tongue parted my lips and entered. His hand followed the lines of my curves until stopping on my hip with a firm grip. My eyes rolled behind closed eyelids as I lost myself in his touch.
And as quickly as it began, he pulled away, a satisfied smirk plastered all over his face. He bent down near his overnight bag and pulled out a leather pouch filled with his things. “Is it okay if I jump in the shower?”
“Of course. There’s a towel under the sink.” I smiled, still trying to catch my faltering breath. My eyes refused to look away from him as he ripped his shirt off and dropped it to the floor near my sink. His tanned, well-defined arms caused my insides to stir. He unzipped his shorts before stepping out of them and promptly pressed his body against the counter as he reached for the toothpaste. I forced myself to look away before I started actually drooling at the sight of him in nothing but some well-fitting boxer briefs.
Staying strong tonight might be harder than I thought.
When the shower turned off, he opened the door, my green towel wrapped tightly around his waist. Beads of water dripped from his wet black hair as coils of hazy steam swirled around him.
“Kitten, can you throw me a pair of briefs?”
I tossed off the covers and crept out of bed toward his duffle bag. I opened the flap of fabric and noticed dress shirts, ties, and slacks. “What’s with all the dressy clothes?”
“We have to dress up whenever we travel.”
“Seriously? Why?”
“Because, Kitten, it’s the rules. We have to look presentable. And we’re a professional college baseball team. We have to make a good impression.”
“Huh, I guess that makes sense,” I said, before rooting around for his briefs.
He laughed. “It’s a hell of a lot better than a bunch of rowdy guys in t-shirts and baggy shorts.”
“That’s true!” I rooted around in his bag and grabbed the first pair I could find. “Here,” I said, throwing the undergarment toward his feet.
“Thanks, babe,” he responded before allowing the towel to drop to the floor. I felt my jaw drop right along with it as my eyes refused to look away. My insides flushed with heat as he turned his head to face me. He smiled confidently before reaching for the briefs and slipping into them.
Holy shit. This night might kill me.
“Like what you see?” Jack teased, his eyebrow cocked as he slipped into bed next to me.
“Why don’t you just date a mirror?” I shot back, his cockiness forcing my defensive nature to re-emerge.
“For starters, I can’t have sex with a mirror.” His mouth formed into a slight smirk that made me want to smack him. Before I could respond his mouth was on mine, his tongue minty from my toothpaste.
My tough defenses faded as the warmth of his skin penetrated my thin clothing, his lower body grinding against mine. The feeling of his hardness working against me caused a slight moan to escape from my lips.
“I want you, Cassie.” Jack touched his lips against my neck. His tongue was warm on my skin as he licked his way up toward my ear, his breath raspy and hot. “I want you,” he whispered breathily before nibbling on my earlobe, the grinding between my legs continuing.
“Jack.” I spoke his name between breaths. “Jack, stop.” He stopped moving and I felt his heart thumping rapidly against my chest. His thumb rested on the side of my face as I lost myself in the brown of his eyes. “I’m sorry. I want to…just not tonight.”
I braced myself for his reaction, unsure of what it would consist of. In the past, it royally pissed guys off if I’d asked them to stop. They acted as if it was their God-given right to have sex with me, whether I was ready or not. Guys seemed to change into different people whenever their dicks were involved.
All warmth left me as Jack rolled onto his side, his body still facing mine. “It’s okay, Kitten. I don’t want to do it if you’re not ready.” He leaned toward me, his lips pressing against the tip of my nose.
“Thanks.” I smiled, grateful he didn’t seem angry.
“But you’ll be ready soon, right?” He couldn’t keep a straight face as the words left his lips. “I’m kidding. No pressure.” He smiled, his voice reassuring and calm.
I smiled in relief at his understanding as he reached for me. He hugged me tightly before placing my head against his chest, both arms wrapped around me. “Would it help if you knew I was falling in love with you?”
I tore myself from his grip, my eyes locking on his. “Don’t fuck with me, Jack Carter.”
He stifled a laugh as he reached for me. “I’m not.”
I leaned down to kiss him, my emotions tangling up inside me. “Say it,” I begged as my tongue swept across his bottom lip.
“So much for no pressure,” Jack teased, his eyebrows furrowing.
“Say it,” I begged again.
“I,” he hesitated before looking me square in the eyes, his head nodding, “I love you.” He pulled at the back of my neck, his mouth devouring every part of mine.
“Jack.” I breathed his name as I melted into him, my legs wrapped around his waist. And just like that, those three little words had changed me. Desire overwhelmed me as I longed to be connected to him in every possible way. I wished for the space between us to disappear as I inched my body closer to his. “I want you.”
He pulled back slightly. “We don’t have to do this, that’s not why I said it,” he said, running his fingers down my back.
“I know it’s not, but I want to.” I was actually surprised at myself, my pelvis grinding slowly against his as my desire grew.
“You sure?” He searched my eyes as he asked one last time.
“You trying to talk me out of it?” I teased and rolled away from him.
His eyes widened as he watched me scoot out of my boxer shorts, revealing the light blue thong hidden underneath. He tossed my shorts onto the floor before leaning over and tenderly kissing the top of my foot. He knelt down and worked his hands and mouth up my calf to my thigh, not an inch of skin left untouched. I practically vibrated with excitement and need, but allowed him to continue to explore.
He shifted upward and continued his way up my belly, lifting my tank top off in one swift motion before lightly kissing the space between my breasts. Lowering his body completely onto mine, he pressed his lips against my neck before heading back to my mouth, where I waited anxiously for him.
My hands dug into his back, his muscles hard and tense. I tugged at the waistband of his boxer briefs, trying in vain to lower them. He slipped them off and I felt his excitement grow as his body pressed against mine. “Do you have anything?” he asked before taking the final step.
“You don’t?” I asked incredulously.
“I meant to bring one,” he explained slowly, his breath hot against my ear. “Just in case, you know?”
I shifted my weight, turning to look at him, “Mm-hmm. Just in case, huh?”
“Well, you can’t blame a guy for hoping.” His eyebrows arched. “But I forgot it at home.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously,” he responded solemnly.
“Well,” I hesitated, “I got on the pill when we started dating.”
“You did?”
“Mm-hmm.” I smiled sheepishly, embarrassed at the revelation as he pressed his wet lips against mine.
He pulled away slowly. “I’ve never…” He started to say before stopping short.
“Never what?” My breaths quickened, his hesitance making my confidence waver.
His eyes met mine with longing and uncertainty. “I’ve never done it like this before,” he admitted.
“In a bed?” I teased, unsure of his meaning.
“No.” He paused. “I mean like this. Without anything else.”
I was almost awestruck when I realized that like this meant without a condom. Jack’s vulnerability shone through him in that exact moment like a lighthouse beacon in a raging storm. Somewhere along the way, we’d crossed an imaginary line where feelings and emotions blurred into the unknown. A place neither of us dared go before.
“Really? Not ever?” I slid my hand down the back of his neck, his muscles straining against my fingertips.
“Never. If I didn’t have one, I didn’t do it. There’s never been anyone like you, Cassie. There never will be.” His admission silenced us both as the weight of the moment sunk in.
“Do you still want to?” I trembled as the words left my lips.
He shifted and I felt my panties slide down my legs and leave my body in one fluid motion. That was all the answer I needed as my breathing increased with every kiss, every touch, every electric-filled moment. He stopped and cupped my face with both hands. “You know this changes things.” His eyes searched mine for acceptance and understanding.
“Prove it,” I said with a slight smile, remembering the words I spoke after our first kiss.
“I love you, Cassie.” His voice was so sincere that I blinked back the tears pooling in my eyes.
“I love you too,” I admitted, my protective walls crumbling to piles of dust around my jagged heart.
His lips were instantly back on mine, his tongue passionately exploring the inside of my mouth. With one easy thrust, I felt him inside me. I inhaled quickly, a pleasure-filled moan escaping my lips.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his movement slowing.
“I’m fine, keep going.” I closed my eyes, wanting more.
“Oh my God, you feel incredible.” He breathed heavily against my ear. “Holy shit, I may never recover from this.”
His hands pressed against my shoulders, his muscles flexing as he worked his body gently in and out of mine. I moved my hips in time with his, causing a throaty growl to escape from within him.
I opened my eyes and raked my fingers through his hair. I followed the lines of his body down his back where beads of sweat were pooling. The muscles in his back tensed as I reached my arms around him. My hands came to rest on his backside and I pulled him deeper into me with every thrust. Another throaty moan and he pressed his sweaty cheek against mine, his labored breathing whooshing in and out of my ear.
His breath was hot against my neck. “I’ve never loved anyone before, so go easy on me.”
I turned my head to face him and pressed my mouth against his. “Jack,” I whispered with a sigh. “Don’t stop.” I continued pulling him to me as our bodies slid against each other. His thrusts caused a tension to build inside me, growing quickly as I felt myself striving to meet them desperately, grasping for something I’d never experienced quite this strongly before.
My body tingled everywhere, from my scalp all the way down to my toes. A heated wave of sensation and emotion swept over me, engulfing me as my body seized in a contraction of pulses, all centered at my core.
His movements quickened with urgency in response to mine, and I lifted my hips to rise and fall in time with his. “Cassie…” He stared into my eyes and I smiled bravely, yet for a moment, I felt completely exposed.
“It’s okay,” I said softly, and tightened my intimate grip around him. He bit his bottom lip and his eyes narrowed as I felt him explode and pulsate inside me. He quivered before relaxing and allowing his body to fall on top of mine.
“I…can’t…breathe,” I complained playfully, pushing at his shoulders.
“Sorry.” He laughed and rolled onto his side. “That…was amazing,” he said between labored breaths.
He leaned into me, kissing my nose before propping up on one arm. “I love you. I’m sure I’ll fuck it up because I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. Just promise me that you’ll be patient with me. Grade me on a learning curve or something?”
“You should really go into sales, you know that?” I teased, rolling my eyes.
“Promise me, Kitten. Patience.”
“Only if you promise not to do anything that embarrasses me or makes me look stupid.”
“Deal.” He grinned and I leaned in to kiss his dimples, my limbs tangled up with his.
I’ll admit I was scared. We’d crossed the line and my heart would never be the same, no matter what happened from here on out. But if I wanted him to believe in us, I had to believe in him.
*****
I drove Jack to the baseball stadium at five the next morning. When we arrived, I looked over at the rumbling bus and Jack’s arriving teammates. I laughed when I noticed Jamie, a girlfriend of one of Jack’s teammates, driving a monster-sized truck. She looked terrified behind the wheel and her expression brought me relief since I assumed my face probably looked the same. Glancing over at me, she shrugged her shoulders, and I waved in response.
Jack hopped out of his death machine, grabbed his bags, and sauntered over to the driver’s side where I reluctantly sat.
“Take care of my pride and joy.” He grinned, his dimples making an appearance.
“You know it’s just going to sit in the parking lot at my apartment, right?” I shrugged.
He laughed before grabbing the back of my neck and pulling me toward him. “I’ll text you when I get there.” His mouth covered mine as hoots and hollers filtered into the air. He pulled away, turned around, and flipped off his teammates.
“Amateurs.” He laughed.
“It’s the first time they’ve ever been able to give you shit. They’re excited.” I pressed my lips together and smiled.
He leaned in, giving me one last kiss before walking away, his body disappearing behind his two large bags.
