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Things We Never Got Over: Chapter 48

THE OL’ SWITCHEROO Naomi

“Five…four…three…two…”

“Wait! What makes you think Waylay knows where whatever the hell you’re looking for is?” I asked, desperate to keep Duncan distracted from his deadly countdown. “She’s just a child.”

“Mmmph mmm,” Waylay grumbled, clearly offended.

Tina didn’t say anything. Her eyes were glued to Duncan, and I was surprised he hadn’t caught fire from the flames shooting out of them. The man had no idea the fuse he’d just lit. I only hoped my sister’s impending explosion wouldn’t get us all killed.

“Simple addition. Tina took the flash drive, and it disappeared. Only one other person in that house. The little brat who likes technology and stealin’ stuff.”

“Tina told you it disappeared?”

“No, Santy Claus did,” Duncan said, rolling his eyes.

“Did it ever occur to you that Tina is hiding the flash drive? Maybe she took it to cut you out of the deal.”

Both Tina and Duncan were now looking at me. I didn’t know if I’d made things better or worse, but at least the gun was pointing at the floor. I dropped to my knees and attacked the knot on Waylay’s wrist.

“Don’t listen to her,” Tina said seeming to come back to life. “She’s just doing what she used to do with our parents. Trying to manipulate you.”

“I hate that shit,” he said, raising the gun once again. “Now where was I?

Five?”

“Nine?” I suggested weakly.

“You have to go to the bathroom,” Tina announced to me.

“What?”

She gave me a hard look. “You have to go to the bathroom,” she said again before turning back to Duncan. “She got her period. You don’t want to shoot her and get period all over the place, do you, Dunc?”

“Gross. Don’t tell me that woman shit,” he complained, looking like he was about to vomit.

“I’ll take her to the bathroom, and we’ll get the kid to talk about where she stashed the drive,” she said with a pointed look in Waylay’s direction.

“Then I’ll run out and get you some of that fried chicken that you like.”

Tina was definitely up to something. She had that crafty look on her face.

And I definitely hadn’t gotten my period. The Honky Tonk Code Red was two weeks out.

“That’s more like it,” Duncan said, satisfied that his woman was back in line. “Wasn’t really gonna shoot you, T.”

“I know you’re under a lot of stress, baby,” Tina said as she dragged me across the room toward a door marked RES OOM. “Take a break. Drink a beer. We’ll be right back,” she called over her shoulder.

She shoved me through the door into a bathroom that needed to be hosed down with a truckload of bleach.

“Take your clothes off,” she said when the door swung shut.

“What? Tina, we can’t leave Waylay alone with him. He’s insane.”

“I’m gettin’ that. Now take off your goddamn clothes,” she said, dropping her pants.

“You’ve lost your mind. This isn’t just another bad decision with horrible consequences. You’ve gone off the deep end, haven’t you?”

“For fuck’s sake. I’m not trying to have incestual relations with you. This ain’t a porno. We’re trading places. He’s not gonna let you walk out of here and get help. But he’ll let me leave.” She stripped her shirt off over her head and threw it in my direction. It hit me in the face.

“Then leave and call the police,” I hissed.

“I’m not leavin’ Way with that stupid motherfucker.”

“You already abandoned her once!”

“I left her with you, smarty-pants. Knew you’d take care of her until I got my score.”

I knew I shouldn’t really take that as a compliment, but it was about as close as Tina got to giving them.

“He’s fondling that Beretta like it’s his dick and he’s got a loaded PPK under the pizza box,” she continued. “You know how to work one? Are you willing to shoot a man in the fucking balls and risk prison?”

“No and yes. If it gets Waylay out of here alive.”

“Well, I’m yes and yes. Pretty damn good shot too. So gimmie your damn skirt. And you go call the cops.”

“Can’t you just send Knox or Nash a text and tell them where we are?”

“Phone’s in the car,” she said, dragging my skirt up her hips. “Dunc’s paranoid about being tracked by the government. Won’t let a cell phone near him here.”

I pulled her shirt over my head. “Fine. Okay. So what’s the plan then?”

“We go out there. I’m you but I give Waylay the code.”

“What’s the code?”

“I say ‘I read this article on the devastation of the rainforest,’ and she knows it’s code for get ready to run.”

I supposed it was Tina’s version of having a family fire drill. “Okay.

Then what?”

“She’ll make up the location of wherever she hid the thing. Dunc’ll send his guys to get it. You’ll leave to get celebratory chicken, but really you’ll go down to the car and call 911.”

This didn’t sound like a great plan. And I trusted my sister about as far as I could spit, which was not far at all. But I didn’t have any other options.

“What will you do?” I stalled. “Even if you get past Duncan, there are men with guns outside.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes to get Waylay out of here.”

I zipped her jeans and then stepped into her boots.

We looked at each other.

“Your boobs are exploding out of my shirt,” I observed.

She reached for the roll of toilet paper. “Stuff.”

“Seriously?” I squeaked.

“As long as you and me have big tits, he won’t notice the difference. He’s seven beers into his night.”

“You have got to get better taste in men,” I complained as I shoved wads of toilet paper into my bra.

She shrugged. “He’s not so bad when he’s not drunk.”

“Yo! Ladies! Get your asses out here. I’m ready to shoot someone.”

“He sounds like a dreamboat,” I grumbled.

“Try not to walk like you got a stick up your ass,” Tina hissed, shoving me toward the door.

“Try to talk like you didn’t have to cheat your way through the eighth grade.”

We returned to Bachelor Central, and I was relieved to see that Waylay was still alive and looking mutinous. Waylon was sitting next to her chair like a guard. His tail thumped when he saw me, and I worried that Duncan would notice.

Fortunately, he was too engrossed in a video game that apparently involved shooting scantily dressed women.

“Ha! Suck my barrel, bitch!”

Tina cleared her throat and looked at Waylay. “I read this article on the devastation of the rainforest.”

Waylay’s eyes widened above the duct tape. I nodded at her, and then at her mother. She blinked twice. Tina elbowed me.

“Ouch. I mean, quit blabbering about reading shit and go sit down over there… by my kid,” I said, tossing my hair over my shoulder and gesturing in Waylay’s direction.

“Waylay, honey sweetie pie, are you okay? I’m so sorry this is all happening. It’s all my fault probably because I’m so snobby and act like I’m better than everyone,” Tina said, flopping down on the torn ottoman next to her daughter. Her knees spread wide, and I could see straight up my—er, her —skirt.

Waylay rolled her eyes.

Behind me, I heard Duncan get to his feet. I was startled by a stinging slap on my butt. “That ass is lookin’ mighty fine in those jeans tonight, Teen,” he said before shotgunning the rest of his beer. He threw the can over his shoulder and belched.

“I have the best taste in men,” I said, glaring at Tina.

“Heh. Your sister has the same thong as you,” Duncan said, pointing at Tina’s exposed crotch. “You guys really are twins.”

The man was an idiot. Unfortunately, he was an idiot with a gun. And I had no better options than Tina’s plan.

“Ti—I mean, Naomi and I were talking,” I began.

“She didn’t get period all over the place in there, did she?”

I gritted my teeth. “No. It’s just the usual bodily fluids all over the floor and walls.”

Tina cleared her throat pointedly. Poor Waylon was looking back and forth between her and me like he was trying to puzzle out what was going on.

“Anyway, your aunt who loves you very much and I talked, Waylay. We agreed that it’s safe for you to tell Duncan where you hid the flash drive,” I said.

“Yeah. You can tell me, kid. I’m trustworthy as shit,” Duncan said, apparently forgetting that he’d just threatened the lives of her mother and aunt only minutes ago.

“Just tell him where you absconded it, and he’ll send his men to go get it,” Tina said, enunciating slowly.

That was definitely not the right use of the word absconded.

Duncan nudged me with his elbow. “Go take the tape off her mouth.”

I approached Waylay and leaned in. “It’s me, Naomi,” I whispered.

She crossed her eyes as if to say “Duh.” Waylon stood up and licked my shin.

“Oh, now he likes you,” Duncan said. “Dogs are as fickle as bitches. An hour ago, he couldn’t stop growlin’ at you, now he wants to hump your leg.”

I peeled back the corner of the tape.

“Sorry, kiddo,” I whispered and yanked the tape free.

“Son of a goddamn bitch, ow!” Waylay yelled.

I suddenly missed Knox from the depths of my soul.

“Tell me where the drive is, kid,” Duncan said. The gun appeared in my peripheral vision as he advanced on us.

Waylay took what looked like a heroic breath. “I hid it at the library in Knockemout. I taped it under a shelf in the historical fiction section.”

Smart, smart girl. If Duncan sent his men to break into the library, they’d essentially be breaking into a police station.

“Thank you for telling us. I’m very proud of you for your honesty and integrity,” Tina said in what I assumed was her impression of me. She sounded British.

“You’ll probably want to go get that now while the library’s closed,” I said to Duncan.

“Yeah maybe,” he said, but his eyes were on Tina, and he looked thoughtful.

“I guess I’ll go get that chicken,” I said, edging toward the door.

“Not so fast.”

I felt cold metal at the base of my neck and froze. Tina’s plan officially sucked.

Waylon growled low. And that, too, made me miss Knox. Even if the man didn’t love me, I knew he wouldn’t hesitate to turn Duncan’s face into an abstract painting.

“My whole life, everyone’s underestimated me,” Duncan said conversationally. “Called me an idiot. Said I was stupid and dumb. So I went with it. Played the moron. People don’t watch what they’re saying around a moron. And they don’t try as hard to hide what they’re doing, Naomi.”

Crap.

“You two are the morons here. You actually think I’d fall for the ol’ switcheroo?” he scoffed.

“How did you know?” I asked, stalling for time.

“Your tits aren’t crooked.”

“You mean Tina’s aren’t.”

“No, dumbass. Tina’s are crooked. Yours aren’t. Who’s the idiot now?”

He said this while gesturing with the gun.

Since it wasn’t trained on me, I turned to face him.

Tina was frantically trying to work Waylay’s bonds free.

Knee. Balls. Nose.

Knox’s instructions came back to me almost as if he were standing next to me.

“I liked you, Tina. Really fucking liked you and now I hafta kill you.

How do you think that makes me feel?” He raised his gun, and I knew somewhere deep inside that this time he intended to use it.

Tina was looking at me hard. And for once in my life, I could read her mind.

“Hey, Duncan?” I said.

The second his eyes were on me, everything moved in slow motion. Tina gave Waylay’s chair a shove out of the line of fire and dove in the opposite direction, reaching for the pizza box.

“This!” I grabbed his shoulders and rammed my knee up into his crotch.

The gun went off as he doubled over.

My ears rang. But I could still hear Knox in my head.

Nose.

Clinging to his shoulders, I brought my knee up again, and this time connected with his face.

I couldn’t hear if there was a crunch, but judging by the way the man crumpled to the ground, I’d done it correctly.

Over the ringing in my ears, I thought I heard more shots. But they sounded like they were farther away. A siren too.

I left Duncan where he lay and sprinted to Waylay. Spinning her chair around, I was beyond relieved to see she was unharmed.

“Are you okay?” I asked, as my shaking fingers started to untie her.

“That was awesome, Aunt Naomi!” she said.

“You stupid piece of shit!” Tina had the pizza gun trained on Duncan as he got to his hands and knees. “You were gonna shoot my daughter, my sister, and me?”

“Mom, the cops are here,” Waylay called as I finally freed her wrists.

Tina gave Duncan a kick to his mid-section. “You’re lucky I don’t have time to shoot you.” Then she turned away from him. “Here,” she said, handing me the gun.

I held it at arm’s length and prayed it wouldn’t go off.

“You’re not seriously running, are you?” I asked.

It was an admittedly stupid question.

Of course my sister was running. It’s what she did after making a mess.

Tina grabbed a grungy black duffel bag off the floor and shoved several stacks of cash into it. Then she dumped the rest of the pizza on top, leaving the piece with the bullet hole.

“I’m allergic to cops,” she said, hitching the strap over her shoulder, and looked at her daughter. “See ya around, kid.”

“Bye, Mom,” Waylay said, waving with her freed hand.

Behind me, Duncan groaned on the floor. Waylon growled.

“Been fun. Thanks for the skirt, Goody. Take care of my kid,” she said with a little salute and then she disappeared out the window onto the fire escape.

The rope finally loosened and I threw it to the floor.

“She’ll be back,” Waylay predicted, standing up and shaking out her hands.

I didn’t doubt it.

“Come on. Let’s get out of here,” I said, putting the gun down and untying Waylon’s leash from the leg of the desk. It wasn’t just my hands that were shaking. Now it was my entire body. I wasn’t going to feel safe until we were home at Liza’s. Maybe not even then. The image of the gun pointing at my niece was permanently engraved in my brain. I doubted I’d ever sleep again.

“Aunt Naomi!”

The panic in Waylay’s voice had me spinning around. Instinctively, I put myself between her and danger and right into Duncan’s bruising grip.

His hand closed around my neck, cutting off my breath.

Blood poured from his nose. For the briefest moment, I felt a flicker of satisfaction that I’d done that. I’d stood up to him. But the moment was fleeting as blackness crept in along the edges of my vision.

“You ruined everything!” he howled.

Time froze and solidified into a picture of the end as he brought the gun to my head.

This couldn’t be how it ended. Not with Waylay watching. Not with help in the building.

Not without Knox.

I felt Waylay’s arms come around me from behind. One last hug. I couldn’t move or speak. I couldn’t tell her to run. My world was going dark.

The door burst open, startling me and Duncan. He turned his head in time to see one of his men fall backwards into the room. Scratch that. He didn’t fall. The man was thrown like a ragdoll.

With the last of my energy, I landed a kick to Duncan’s shin.

“Waylay run!” someone ordered. The voice sounded so beautifully familiar, yet so far away.

Help was in the room.

Waylay would be okay.

I slipped into the darkness.


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