The boys stayed out all fucking night. I have no words to describe the fury coursing through my veins this morning at the thought of them with other girls. How fucking dare they think I’ll behave when they disrespect me like that. If it’s a taste of their own fucking medicine they want, I’ll gladly give it to them.
I find Dmitriy the next day at school as he walks out of the cafeteria. It sickens me to think about what he did in there, but I better get used to it fast. I’m in their world now, and I must learn to play by their rules if I want to win against Daemon.
I follow behind, wishing I could blend in with the crowds. It’s impossible with my pale skin, blonde hair, and white wings. The black dress isn’t enough to make me pass for a fallen angel. Quickening my pace, I seize my opportunity. Dmitriy’s eyes widen with surprise when I push him into an empty classroom and flip the lock. But rather than ask me what I’m doing, his lips quirk with an amused smile. He stays quiet, watching my slow approach.
“I am not a good girl,” I grit out, circling him. “I’m so fucking fed up with such expectations.” My fingers slide over his black wings, which are coarser than my downy feathers. “I snuck out of Eden, but that doesn’t mean I’m good or pure,” I spit.
“I’m starting to get that sense,” he says with a smirk. He looks so much like Daemon, but he also doesn’t.
“Why does Daemon hate you so much?” I continue circling him, trailing my eyes down his body and then back up.
Dmitriy shrugs, his hands in his pockets, his eyes on me. “Old family rivalry between our fathers.”
I like that Daemon hates him. It’s why he’s perfect for what I want to achieve. None of the other angels here measure up.
“I’m not a virgin anymore.”
His mask stays intact and he gives nothing away.
“Daemon stole it from me. Like he stole me from my home.” I come to a stop in front of Dmitriy.
“You snuck out.”
I don’t like his response. Not one fucking bit. “I was near the gates. I could have snuck back in.”
He steps closer, tall and imposing. “Once you enter the woods, you never find your way out.”
“Do you always talk so much?” I ask him as I lean back against the door.
He follows, placing his hand on the dark wood. Beside us, the sconce on the wall blazes brighter, like the fire in his eyes.
“I’ll hurt you.”
“Maybe I want to be hurt.”
His hand flies up and grips my jaw, forcing it to the side. Then he whispers in my ear, “You don’t.”
“I thought you were the kind one.”
His nose descends on my neck, dragging over my skin as he breathes me in. “You’re in Hell, sweetheart. There are only monsters in these woods. Kindness doesn’t exist here.”
I meet his dark gaze. “Maybe I’m the biggest monster of them all.”
He regards me while twirling my silky hair around his finger before pulling sharply. “You’re a pussycat.”
I shove him away and let rip a snarl. “I’m no fucking pussycat!”
I’m a coiled snake in the grass, ready to strike.
“Then show me your lioness.”
Laughter bubbles out of me, the kind that sets off alarm bells. “Lions are herd animals. They kill together, and they also seek the safety of the pack. I’m a tigress, roaming the woods by myself. I kill alone and I rely on no herd for safety.”
“What am I? The unsuspecting antelope?”
I shake my head, my hand sliding behind his neck. “No, you’re the appetizer before the main meal.”
And the perfect weapon to get back at Daemon for treating me like I’m worthless.
I pull him down to my mouth, silencing his response with hungry, deep kisses. If sleeping with the enemy is what it’ll take to break Daemon, I’ll lay my cards out on the table. I’m all in.
Dmitriy lifts me against the door and groans into my mouth. “He’ll kill you if you open your legs for me.”
Heat sinks to my clit at his threat. I want Daemon’s anger. I want him to hurt me and let his monster tear into me. I want to burn in his flames. After all, we’re in Hell.
“Not before he kills you.”
“You’re wrong,” he says, ripping my panties straight off and unbuckling his belt. “If I were anyone else, he would. But I’m his cousin and he can’t kill me.”
“Shut up and fuck me,” I growl.
“Bad girl.” He grins, taking his big, veiny dick out.
“I told you, I’m not a good girl.”
“No, you’re not,” he agrees, lining himself up with my entrance. “And I intend on fucking you like the bad girl you are.”
I cry out when he slams into me and clamps his hand over my mouth.
“Sshh!” he soothes, slowly inching back out, ensuring I feel the slide of his dick before he thrusts back in. “Such a bad little angel. Look at those beautiful tears trailing down your cheeks. I told you I would hurt you.”
Speared against the door, I take his pounding as he pistons against me. I don’t know what feels better. His big cock, hurting me in the most delicious way, or knowing Daemon will kill me for this?
“I want my cum seeping out of you when Daemon finds you,” he whispers cruelly in my ear. “I want to see the fucking fury in his eyes.”
His teeth pierce my flesh, and a hot, burning pain sears through my neck. If I thought Daemon was rough, this is on another level. Dmitriy wants to inflict damage on my pale skin so Daemon will see the masterpiece he carved on my body.
His teeth retract and he snarls in my face, making me whimper beneath his hand on my mouth. “Want to be a good girl yet?”
My head shakes. I never want to be a good girl again. I want to be fucked like a whore, and to be used and discarded. That’s exactly what he does. He uses me to get off, treats me like a fuckable hole, and brings me to climax as a fuck you to Daemon.
And when I orgasm, his eyes spark with something dangerous. “That’s it, let me see you come. Give me those heavy eyes.”
He stills as soon as my muscles relax, spilling his release deep inside me. Then he steps back, shoving me down on the cold stone floor. I stare up at him with my skirt bunched around my waist while he zips himself into his pants.
“I’d call him in here now, so he could see you on the floor, flushed and freshly fucked. But I don’t want to spoil the fun just yet. It’s only a matter of time before I’ll hear his roar shake the foundation of this old academy.” Leaning over me, he cups my chin and says, “You better run while you still can.”
Dariana finds me in the hallway as I walk toward my next class. I’m so sore that I wince with every step.
“Holy crap,” she blurts, steering me over to a nearby alcove. “What the actual fuck, little angel?! Please tell me my eyes are deceiving me. You didn’t fuck Dmitriy, did you?”
I wait for a group of students to walk past in their black clothing. “What’s it to do with you?”
“What’s it to do with me?” she asks incredulously. “Daemon is my friend for a start.”
“Oh,” I nod, “is that why you went behind his back and fucked me?”
She levels me with a look that tells me I’m naive. “That’s not the same thing. We mess with each other all the time. But this,” she gestures wildly at me, “is the worst betrayal.”
The insides of my thighs are sticky with Dmitriy’s cum, my chin burns from his scratchy beard, and my lips are still kiss-swollen.
I laugh bitterly. “They went out to fuck girls last night, so don’t come talking to me about betrayal.”
Much to my surprise, she bursts out laughing. “Is that what they told you?”
Confused, I open and close my mouth.
“They stayed at mine. There was no fucking involved.” She soon sobers when she sees the stricken look on my face. “You believed they cheated on you.”
“Why would they lie to me and make me believe they fucked other girls if they didn’t?”
“To make you jealous.” The way she says it is so matter-of-fact. “And it worked. Not only did they make you jealous, but you went out and detonated the bomb of all fucking bombs.”
I swallow past the thick lump of shame in my throat. “What I do with my body is my choice.” Even if Daemon didn’t fuck anyone last night, he still let that human girl touch him and taste him in front of me.
“Oh, Hell…” Dariana starts pacing in front of me. “When Daemon finds out… shit…”
“What?”
She whirls on me. “He’ll kill you, for starters.”
I walk off and tears prick my eyes now that the anger is settling down. So what if Dmitriy’s sticky cum is trailing a path down my thighs? What does it matter? It was just sex.
Right?
The tears spill over, and I hurry to wipe them away. I don’t know how to handle these types of situations and novel emotions. I’d never had sex before I came here, and I’d never felt these feelings. It’s all so new and scary. And now I’ve acted irresponsibly because I was hurt and angry.
“Stop, Angel,” Dariana says, rounding me. “Baby, it’s okay. We all make mistakes. Some worse than others, admittedly.”
Rolling my eyes, I push past her. Maybe Dmitriy is right? Maybe I should run while I can.
Dariana’s heels click on the floor before she pulls me to a stop again, cornering me between two torches on the stone wall. “Let’s take you home. You can have a shower and wash his scent off you. No one has to know.”
“Dmitriy will tell him.”
“What proof does he have? It’ll be your word against his. And Daemon will think he’s trying to hurt you.”
Flicking my eyes between hers pitifully, I chew my lip. “Why are you being nice to me? This is your chance to get rid of me.”
She steps closer, and our chests brush as she whispers, “Maybe I don’t want to get rid of you.”
It’s hard to breathe when she’s this close, smelling of midnight and late evenings. “Everyone looks out for themselves here, Dariana.”
Her wings unfold behind her, shielding my tear-streaked cheeks from the other students. She slides her warm hand over my breast and up my chest, then wraps it around my throat. “I am looking out for myself, little angel.”
A shiver runs through me when her thigh slides between my legs.
“Let’s take you home and wash you. No one will ever know.”
“Okay,” I breathe out, drowning in her dark eyes and long lashes.
A brief smile graces her lips before she steps back and interlaces her fingers with mine. “Everything will be okay.”
I want to believe her, but when I hear masculine, rowdy laughter followed by heavy footsteps turning the corner, my blood turns to ice.
Alaric notices us first. His laughter dies in his throat and he slaps Daemon’s chest, who looks up. I instinctively back away as my fight or flight response kicks in. Daemon is faster. He catches up to me in four long strides and pulls me into his chest before slamming me against the stone wall.
As he moves my hair away from my neck, his eyes darken. “Who fed on you?!”
This is the moment I planned on squaring my shoulders and telling him to piss off after he fucked those girls last night. Only, he didn’t fuck anyone and I have screwed everything up. He scents the air, then stiffens. It scares me how still he is. I can’t even look him in the eyes. Tears well up and I try to hold them back, but they fall.
“My fucking cousin?!”
“Daemon,” Dariana tries, but he can’t hear her. Not now.
“You fucked my damn cousin?!”
Wincing, I hug my arms around me to protect myself from the onslaught of his anger. I feel dirty. Used. The sick pleasure I experienced earlier fills me with shame now. It was a mistake to leave Eden. I don’t belong here in their world. I don’t belong anywhere anymore.
Daemon looks at me with such disgust that I want to disappear into myself. On either side of him, Ronan and Alaric exchange glances.
With an unnerving calm, the kind of calm that precedes a deadly storm, Daemon steps back and releases a roar so loud that the nearby students startle. Then he’s back with his teeth bared, wings spread, and anger radiating from every pore. “I’ve played nice with you. I’ve given you every-fucking-thing. I even let you attend school here. And this is what I get? Tell me,” he leans in close, sneering, “did he fuck you good?”
Flinching, I whimper.
He doesn’t let up on me. “Answer the damn question. Did he fuck you good?”
“Daemon, please.”
“ANSWER THE QUESTION!”
“Yes,” I whisper, and he drops me like he’s been burned, then stumbles back.
Without another word, he strides off, my eyes following his retreat. Guilt gnaws at my insides, turning my stomach and twisting my organs. Why did I act so fucking foolishly? What did I think would happen? Did I want revenge so fucking badly?
My arm is grabbed. Ronan drags me along without a backward glance.
“Don’t be too hard on her.” Dariana hurries to keep up. “She doesn’t know the rules of this world yet. Fuck, she hasn’t even experienced anger or jealousy before you brought her here. She acted out of spite. So what? Don’t tell me you’ve never done the same?”
“Shut the fuck up, Dari,” Alaric says tersely.
The moment we step outside, Ronan bands his arm around my waist and we set off flying toward their house. I could tell him I know how to fly. But I don’t. I’m numb, focused on the steady heartbeat in his chest. I long for easier times when all I felt was a peaceful calm. Not this brewing storm of emotions. These highs and lows.
We soon land, and they lead me indoors, past the living room and up the creaky stairs. No one speaks. After locking me in my bedroom, they leave, and I sink down onto the bed. The ache inside my chest spreads, pressing against my sternum. How long will they keep me in here this time?
My feet carry me over to the window. I unlock the hatch, sliding the glass panel up. It’s a mild evening, warmer than usual. The night air is alive with the sound of crickets in the tall grass and animals in the woods.
I look back at the door. It’s still locked. They’re not coming back anytime soon. Climbing out on the thin ledge, I heave myself up on the roof, my wings flapping behind me when I feel like I might fall. I don’t.
The wind moves my hair around my face as I straighten up and turn in a slow circle, scanning the trees that surround the house. If I want to see my home again, I’ll need to fly.
I gaze up at the thick clouds, contemplating my options. Can I actually do it? Dariana distracted me last time, but now it’s different—it’s just me. There’s no one here to distract me with soft touches and soothing words of encouragement.
“I can do it,” I tell myself, slowly unfolding my wings. They’re heavy, stretching out behind me, but I’m slowly growing used to them. My shoulders don’t ache as much. I try to flap them like a bird, but nothing happens. Discouraged, I flop down, my wings drooping behind me. What will it take for me to learn how to do such a basic task?
My gaze snags on the trees to my left. When I was young, I fell from one and that’s how I learned to fly. I shoot to my feet, smoothing my hands down my dress while building up my courage. It’s time to fly or fall. After inhaling a steadying breath, I run for the edge, leap off, and for one brief moment, panic overtakes me as I feel myself falling. But then my wings erupt from my back, carrying me higher and higher.
I stare down at the house below. “I’m doing it. I’m flying.”
The wind feels fantastic in my feathers and hair. Cool and refreshing, like a cold shower in a heatwave. I fly in a circle before directing my gaze toward the distance, where the sunbeam lights up my old home like a floodlight. A pang of homesickness makes itself known inside my chest, but something stops me from escaping. There’s a strange tug on my heartstrings. If I had a pair of scissors, I would slice right through them and free myself from the men below.
With that thought in mind, I soar off into the night, ignoring the pull to fly back. I don’t belong to anyone. No one owns me, and no one gets to control me.
I fly for hours until my wings burn with exhaustion and my limbs ache. Still, I carry on. When my feet finally slide into the tall grass outside the gates, I collapse to the ground, weeping with relief.
The golden gates shimmer, tall and opposing, as I slowly rise to my feet. I step forward, my soles sinking into the soft grass. The sound of crickets falls silent at my approach. In fact, everything falls silent, as if the world itself is holding its breath. I’m right in front of the gates, gazing up.
“Hi,” I whisper as a tear trails down my cheek. I feel different now that I’m here, and I know even before I place my hand on the door that it won’t open. The sense of peace and non-judgment I experienced behind those gates is a far cry from the emotions swirling inside me now. But I try anyway as I place my trembling hand on the gate with bated breath. The absolute silence leans in too, waiting.
“Please,” I whimper, pressing my forehead against the gate. “Let me in.”
When nothing happens, I release a sob. “I want to go home.”
Nothing.
Not a bird singing in the trees. Not a cricket chirping in the grass. I taste tears on my lips as I continue crying silently. Then something else happens: anger rises inside me thick and fast. Anger at the fucking unfairness of it all. Curiosity is what led me out here in the first place. The gates let me out. It’s not my fucking fault the wolf steered me off the path to Grandma’s cottage.
“Let me in,” I cry, banging on the shimmering gate. “Let me the fuck in! You can’t let me out if you’re not going to let me back in. Fuck you! It’s not my fault those boys stole me away and introduced me to sin.” I kick it too, for good measure, before collapsing to the ground in a heap of pathetic tears. I can’t stop crying. I just want to go home. I never asked for any of this.
My head snaps up and I grit my jaw. I will find a fucking way in—somehow. Ignoring the pain in my shoulders, I let my wings erupt to their full glory. This time, I don’t doubt myself. I let them carry me higher and higher until I’m flying above the walls, staring down at my home. Everything is so light and colorful. The deer munches on the grass. The hare is there too, just the way I remember it. If I squint, I can make out the houses in the distance. Freya is in there somewhere. I’ve missed her so much.
As I fly closer, I hit an invisible wall. Surprised, I flatten my palm over it and slide it over the barrier. Was it always there?
“Please, no,” I whisper as my hand slams down. The wall doesn’t budge. There’s no way in other than through the gates. I don’t know how long I fly, watching the deer munch and the rabbit hop, before I let my wings carry me down to the soft grass.
Aurelia…
Ronan was right that time in class. The woods call my name. Even now, as I stare blankly at nothing, it whispers, urging me to disappear into its shadows.
Something snaps inside me. I launch myself at my wings and tear into them, ignoring the sharp bite of pain while I rip my feathers out. “Stupid, fucking white feathers.” I rip, tear, pull, and yank, smearing my wings with red blood.
When the strength finally leaves me, I sit in a cloud of floating, swirling feathers. They land around me, decorating the ground in white, like a sheet of snow. The pain is excruciating and my tears won’t stop falling. It’s hard to breathe through this sadness inside me. It holds me in its grip and refuses to let me resurface for air.
My head shakes in denial. I’ve not been banished from my home. I’m not sitting here in a fucking torn-up, feather pillow of confetti because Eden spat me out and refused me re-entry. As if that’s not enough, I can’t fly anymore now that my wings are plucked. The pain is too much. I release an almighty scream, and I don’t stop until my lungs burn with something other than despair.
Silence descends again, thick and heavy. Now I understand why they call this Hell. I’ve killed a girl, and now I sit here, covered in blood, after plucking my own fucking feathers like a distressed, caged animal. My throbbing incisor teeth sink into my bottom lip. I didn’t even know I had those until recently. I’m a monster with white wings. A terrible deception.
That’s how the boys find me—broken and curled up in a pile of my own destruction outside the gates of my former home.
“Holy fuck,” Ronan exclaims, staring down at me and the sea of feathers. Daemon doesn’t say a word. He simply scoops me up and cradles me against his chest. Then we’re off, flying back toward my caged prison.
