Rune
One week later
“Hey Rune.”
I looked up from the paper I was writing to see Jorie at the door to Poppy’s room. Judson, Deacon and Ruby were standing behind her in the hallway. I flicked my chin in their direction and they all walked in.
Poppy was still in her bed, still in her coma. After a few days, the doctors had said the worst of her infection had passed, and other visitors had been allowed in.
My Poppy had done it. Just as she’d promised, she’d fought to keep the infection from taking her down. I knew she would. She’d held my hand when she’d made that promise. She’d met my eyes.
It was as good as done.
The doctors were planning on bringing her slowly out of her coma over the next few days. They were going to gradually lessen the dosage of anesthetic, beginning later tonight. And I couldn’t wait. This week had felt like an eternity without her, everything felt wrong and out of place. So much had changed in my world by her being gone, yet by contrast, nothing on the outside really had.
The only real development was that the entire school now knew that Poppy didn’t have much time left. From what I’d heard they were all predictably shocked; everyone was sad. We had been at school with most of these people since kindergarten. Although they didn’t know Poppy like our small group of friends did, it had still rocked the town. People from her church had gathered to pray for her. To show their love. I knew if Poppy knew about it, it would warm her heart.
The doctors weren’t sure how strong she would be when she woke up. They were reluctant to estimate how long she had left, but her doctor told us this infection had severely weakened her. He told us we had to be prepared: when she finally woke up, we could be facing only weeks.
As much as that blow hurt, as much as it tore my heart from my chest, I tried to take joy in the small victories. I would have weeks to help fulfill Poppy’s final wishes. I would have the time I needed to truly say goodbye, to hear her laugh, see her smile and kiss her soft lips.
Jorie and Ruby entered the room first, going to the opposite side of the bed to where I sat to squeeze Poppy’s hand.
Deacon and Judson stopped bedside me, laying their hands on my shoulder in support. The minute word had spread about Poppy, my friends had cut school to come see me. As soon as I’d laid eyes on them rushing through the hallway, I knew that everyone knew. I knew that they knew. They’d been by my side ever since.
They were upset that Poppy and I hadn’t said a thing to any of them except for Jorie. But in the end they understood why Poppy didn’t want a fuss. I think they loved her even more for that. They saw her true strength.
Over the past week, when I hadn’t been in school, it was my friends who had brought my assignments from my teachers. They had looked out for me, as I had done for Poppy. Deacon and Judson said they were determined I didn’t flunk out when we’d all reached our senior year together. It was the furthest thing from my mind, but I appreciated their concern.
In fact, this week showed me how much they meant to me. Even though Poppy was my entire life, I realized that I had love elsewhere. I had friends who would walk through fire for me. My mamma also came every day. As did my pappa. He didn’t seem to care that I mostly ignored him. He didn’t seem to care if we sat in silence. I thought he only cared that he was here, that he was beside me.
I wasn’t sure what to do with that yet.
Jorie looked up, catching my eye. “How is she today?”
I rose from my chair and sat on the edge of Poppy’s bed. I linked her fingers through mine and held on tight. Leaning forward, I brushed the hair back from her face and kissed her on her forehead. “She’s getting stronger each day,” I said softly, and then for Poppy’s ears only, I whispered, “Our friends are here, baby. They’ve come to see you again.”
My heart lurched when I thought I saw the flickering of her lashes, but when I stared longer, I realized it must have been my imagination. I’d been desperate to see her again for too many hours to count. Then I relaxed, knowing that, over the next few days, seeing these things wouldn’t simply be in my imagination. They’d be real.
My friends sat down on the couch near the large window. “The doctors have decided to start gradually bringing her out of her coma tonight,” I said. “It might take a couple of days for her to be fully conscious, but bringing her round slowly is what they believe is best. Her immune system has strengthened as much as they think it will. The infection has gone. She’s ready to come back to us.” I exhaled and added quietly, “Finally. I’ll finally be able to see her eyes again.”
“That’s good, Rune,” Jorie replied and gave me a weak smile. There was an expectant silence; my friends all glanced at each other.
“What?” I asked, trying to read their faces.
It was Ruby who replied. “What will she be like when she wakes?”
My stomach tightened. “Weak,” I whispered. Turning back to Poppy, I stroked down her cheek. “But she’ll be here again. I don’t care if I have to carry her everywhere we go. I just want to see her smile. I’ll have her back with me, where she belongs … at least for a little while.”
I heard a sniff and saw Ruby crying. Jorie held her close.
I sighed in sympathy, but said, “I know you love her, Ruby. But when she wakes, when she finds out everyone knows, act normal. She hates seeing those she loves upset. It’s the worst part of all of this for her.” I squeezed Poppy’s fingers. “When she wakes we need to make her happy, like she does everyone else. We can’t show her that we’re sad.”
Ruby nodded her head, then asked, “She won’t ever be coming back to school again, will she?”
I shook my head. “Neither will I. Not until…” I trailed off, unwilling to finish off with those words. I wasn’t ready to say them yet. I wasn’t ready to face all of this.
Not yet.
“Rune,” Deacon said, a serious tone to his voice. “What are you doing next year? For college? Have you even applied anywhere?” He wrung his hands together. “You’ve got me concerned. We’re all leaving. And you haven’t even mentioned a thing. We’re just real worried.”
“I’m not even thinking that far ahead,” I replied. “My life is here, right now, in this moment. All that will come later. Poppy’s my focus. She’s only ever been my focus. I don’t give a damn about next year or what I’ll do.”
A silence descended on the room. I saw in Deacon’s face that he wanted to say more, but he didn’t dare.
“Will she make prom?”
My heart sank as Jorie gazed sadly at her best friend. “I don’t know,” I replied. “She wanted to, so badly, but it’s still six weeks out.” I shrugged. “The doctors just don’t know.” I turned to look at Jorie. “It was one of her last wishes. To go to her senior prom.” I swallowed and turned back to Poppy. “In the end all she wants to do is be kissed and see out prom. That’s all she’s asking for. Nothing grand, nothing life-changing … just those things. With me.”
I gave my friends a moment, as Jorie and Ruby began to cry quietly. But I didn’t break. I just silently counted down the hours until she came back to me. Imagining the moment I would see her smile once more. Look up at me.
Squeeze my hand in hers.
After an hour or so, my friends stood up. Judson dropped papers on the small table beside Poppy’s bed that I used as a desk. “Math and geography, man. The teachers wrote everything on there for you. Hand-in dates and such.” I stood and said goodbye to my friends, thanking them for coming. When they left, I moved to the table to complete the homework. I’d finish this work, then take my camera outside. My camera, which I hadn’t removed from my neck in weeks.
The camera that was a part of me again.
Hours must have passed as I ducked in and out of the room, capturing the day outside. Later that evening, Poppy’s family began filing into the room, Poppy’s doctors following closely behind. I jumped from my seat and rubbed the tiredness from my eyes. They had arrived to begin bringing her out from the coma.
“Rune,” Mr. Litchfield greeted. He walked over to where I was standing and embraced me. A happy truce had settled between us since Poppy had been in her coma. He understood me, and I understood him. Because of that, even Savannah had begun to trust me with not breaking her sister’s heart.
And because I hadn’t left, not once, since Poppy had been admitted. If Poppy was here, so was I. My dedication must have showed that I loved her more than any of them had ever believed.
Ida came over to where I stood and wrapped her arms around my waist. Mrs. Litchfield kissed me on my cheek.
Then we all waited for the doctor to finish his exam.
When he turned to us, he said, “Poppy’s white blood cell count is as good as we can hope for in this stage of her illness. We’ll gradually reduce the anesthetic and bring her around. As she gets stronger, we’ll be able to unhook her from some of these machines.” My heart beat fast, my hands clenching at my sides.
“Now,” the doctor continued. “Poppy, at first, will slip in and out of consciousness. When she is conscious, she may be delirious, out of sorts. That will be from the medication still in her system. But eventually, she should begin to rouse for longer periods of time and, all being well, in a couple of days, show us her usual happy self.” The doctor held up his hands. “But Poppy will be weak. Until we assess her in her conscious state, we won’t be able to determine just how much this infection has weakened her. Only time will tell. But she may have limited movement that restricts the things she can do. It is unlikely that she will regain full strength.”
I closed my eyes, praying to God that she would be okay. And if she wasn’t, I promised that I would help her through—anything to give me just a little more time. No matter what it took, I’d do anything.
The next couple of days dragged by. Poppy’s hands began to move slightly, her eyelashes fluttered, and on day two, her eyes began to open. It was only for a few seconds at a time, but it was enough to fill me with a mixture of excitement and hope.
On day three, a team of doctors and nurses came into the room, and began the process of unhooking Poppy from the machines. I watched, heart pounding, as the breathing tube was removed from her throat. I watched as machine after machine was carted away, until I saw my girl again.
My heart swelled.
Her skin was pale, her usually soft lips were chapped. But seeing her free from all of those machines, I was sure she’d never looked so perfect to me.
I sat patiently in the chair by her bed, holding her hand in mine. My head was tipped back, as I stared in a trance at the ceiling, when I felt Poppy’s hand weakly squeezing mine. My breathing paused. My lungs froze. My eyes darted to Poppy on the bed. Her fingers on her free hand moved, softly twitching.
Reaching over to the wall, I slammed the call button for the nurses. When one entered, I said, “I think she’s waking up.” Poppy had made slight movements over the past twenty-four hours, but never this many and for this long.
“I’ll get the doctor,” she replied and left the room. Poppy’s parents came rushing in shortly after, having just arrived for their daily visit.
The doctor entered seconds later. As he approached the bed, I stepped back to stand beside Poppy’s parents, letting the assisting nurse check her vitals.
Poppy’s eyes began to flutter under her lids, then they slowly rolled open. I inhaled as her green eyes sleepily took in her surroundings.
“Poppy? Poppy, you’re okay,” the doctor said soothingly. I saw Poppy try turn her head in his direction, but her eyes couldn’t focus. I felt a tug somewhere inside me when her hand reached out. She was searching for me. Even in a confused state, she was searching for my hand.
“Poppy, you’ve been asleep for a while. You’re okay, but you’re going to feel tired. Just know that you’re okay.”
Poppy made a sound like she was trying to speak. The doctor turned to the nurse. “Get her some ice for her lips.”
I couldn’t stay back any longer, and I rushed forward, ignoring Mr. Litchfield’s call for me to stop. Moving to the other side of the bed, I leaned down and wrapped my hand around Poppy’s. The minute I did, her body calmed and her head softly rolled in my direction. Her eyes fluttered open. Then she looked right at me.
“Hei, Poppymin,” I whispered, fighting the tightness in my throat.
And then she smiled. It was small, barely a trace, but it was there. Her weak fingers squeezed mine with all the strength of a fly, then she slipped back to sleep.
I blew out a long breath. But Poppy’s hand never released mine. So I stayed where I was. Sitting on the chair beside her, I stayed exactly where I was.
Another day passed with an increasing number of moments of consciousness from Poppy. She wasn’t really lucid when she was awake, but she smiled at me when she focused her attention my way. I knew a part of her, although confused, was aware I was here with her. Her weak smiles made sure there was nowhere else I’d ever be.
Later that day, when a nurse came into the room to do her hourly checks, I asked, “Can I move her bed?”
The nurse stopped what she was doing and raised her brow. “To where, darlin’?”
I walked to the wide window. “Here,” I said. “So when she wakes properly she can see outside.” I huffed a quiet laugh. “She loves to watch the sunrise.” I glanced back. “Now she’s not hooked up to anything but her IV, I thought it might be okay?”
The nurse stared at me. I could see the sympathy in her eyes. I didn’t want her sympathy. I just wanted her to help me. I wanted her to help me give this to Poppy.
“Sure,” she said eventually. “I can’t see that being a problem.” My body relaxed. I moved to the side of Poppy’s bed, the nurse at the other, and we rolled it to sit in front of the view of the pediatric oncology garden outside. A garden which sat under a clear blue sky.
“This okay?” the nurse asked and pushed the brakes down.
“Perfect,” I replied and smiled.
When Poppy’s family came in a short time later, her mama hugged me. “She’ll love it,” she said. As we sat around the bed, Poppy stirred from time to time, shifting where she lay, but for no longer than a few seconds.
Over the past couple of days, her parents had taken turns staying overnight in the family room across the hallway. One stayed at home with the girls. More often than not it was her mama who stayed here.
I stayed in Poppy’s room.
I lay beside her in her small bed every night. Slept with her in my arms, waiting for the moment she woke up.
I knew her parents weren’t exactly thrilled with it, but I figured they allowed it because, why not? They wouldn’t disallow it. Not now. Not in this circumstance.
And I sure as hell wasn’t leaving.
Poppy’s mama was talking to her sleeping daughter about her sisters. She was telling her about how they were doing at school—mundane things. I sat, half-listening, when there was a soft knock at the door.
When I glanced up, I saw my pappa open the door. He gave Mrs. Litchfield a small wave, then looked at me. “Rune? Can I see you for a second?”
I tensed, my eyebrows pulling into a frown. My pappa waited by the door, never breaking our stare. Blowing out a breath, I rose from my seat. My pappa backed away from the door as I approached. As I left the room, I saw he held something in his hand.
He rocked on his feet nervously.
“I know you didn’t ask me to, but I developed your films for you.”
I froze.
“I know you asked me to take them home. But I’ve seen you, Rune. I’ve watched you take these photographs, and I know they’re for Poppy.” He shrugged. “Now Poppy’s waking up more and more, I thought you might want to have them with you, for her to see.”
Without saying anything else, he handed over a photo album. It was filled with print after print of all the things I’d captured while Poppy was asleep. It was all the captured moments she’d missed out on.
My throat began to close. I hadn’t been home. I hadn’t been able to develop these in time for her … but my pappa…
“Thank you,” I rasped, then dropped my eyes to the ground.
In my peripheral vision, I saw my pappa’s body relax, releasing its tension. He raised his hand, as if to touch my shoulder. I stilled as he did. My pappa’s hand paused in mid-air, but clearly deciding to commit, he placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed.
I closed my eyes as I felt his hand on me. And for the first time in a week, I felt like I could breathe. For a second, as my pappa showed me he was with me, I actually breathed.
But the longer we stood there, the more I didn’t know what to do. I hadn’t been like this with him for so long. Hadn’t let him get this close.
Needing to get away, unable to deal with this again, I nodded my head and went back into the room. I shut the door and sat down, the album on my lap. Mrs. Litchfield didn’t ask what it was; I didn’t tell her. She continued reciting her stories to Poppy until it was late.
When Mrs. Litchfield had left the room, I slipped off my boots, and like I did every night, I opened the curtains and moved to lie beside Poppy.
I remembered looking at the stars, then the next thing I knew, I felt a hand stroking over my arm. Disoriented, I blinked my eyes open, the early rays of a new day seeping into the room.
I tried to clear the fog of sleep from my head. I felt hair tickling my nose, and warm breath drifting across my face. Glancing up, I blinked the sleep from my eyes, and my gaze collided with the prettiest pair of green eyes I’d ever seen.
My heart missed a beat, and a smile spread on Poppy’s lips, her deep dimples sinking in on her pale cheeks. Lifting my head in surprise, I held her hand and whispered, “Poppymin?”
Poppy blinked, blinked again, then her gaze ranged around the room. She swallowed, wincing as she did. Seeing her lips were dry, I reached over and took the glass of water from the side table. I brought the straw to her mouth. Poppy drank a few small sips, then pushed the glass aside.
She sighed in relief. Lifting her favorite cherry lip balm from the table, I smoothed a thin layer on her lips. Poppy slowly rubbed her lips together. Not breaking my gaze, she smiled, a wide, beautiful smile.
Feeling my chest expand with light, I leaned down and pressed my lips against hers. It was brief, barely a kiss, but when I pulled back, Poppy swallowed and whispered hoarsely, “Kiss number…” Her brow furrowed as confusion played on her face.
“Nine hundred and three,” I finished for her.
Poppy nodded. “When I came back to Rune,” she added, holding my gaze and weakly squeezing my hand, “just like I promised I would.”
“Poppy,” I whispered in reply, and lowered my head until I tucked it into the crook of her neck. I wanted to hold her as close as I could, but she felt like a fragile doll: easy to break.
Poppy’s fingers landed in my hair, and in a move as familiar as breathing, they ran through the strands, Poppy’s light breath flowing over my face.
I raised my head and stared down at her. I made sure to drink in every part of her face, her eyes. I made sure to cherish this moment.
The moment when she returned to me.
“How long?” she asked.
I stroked back the hair from her face. “You were under a week. You’ve been waking up gradually for the past few days.”
Poppy’s eyes closed momentarily, then opened again.
“And how long … left?”
I shook my head, proud of her strength, and answered honestly, “I don’t know.”
Poppy nodded her head, the movement barely there. Feeling a warmth on the back of my neck, I turned and looked out the window. I smiled. Facing Poppy again, I said, “You rose with the sun, baby.”
Poppy frowned, until I moved out of the way. When I did, I heard her sharp intake of breath. When I looked at her face, I saw the orange rays kissing her skin. I saw her eyes close, then open again, as a smile pulled on her lips.
“It’s beautiful,” she whispered. I lay on her pillow beside her, watching the sky lighten with the arrival of the new day. Poppy didn’t say anything as we watched the sun rise in the sky, bathing the room in its light and warmth.
Her hand squeezed mine. “I feel weak.”
My stomach fell. “The infection hit you hard. It’s taken its toll.”
Poppy nodded in understanding, and then became lost once more in the morning view. “I’ve missed these,” she said, pointing her finger to the window.
“Do you remember much?”
“No,” she replied softly. “But I know I missed them all the same.” She glanced down to her hand and said, “I remember feeling your hand in mine, though … It’s strange. I don’t remember anything else, but I remember that.”
“Ja?” I asked.
“Yes,” she replied softly. “I think I’d always remember the feel of your hand holding mine.”
Reaching out beside me, I lifted up the photo album my pappa brought, placed it on my lap and opened it. The first photo was of the sun rising through thick clouds. The rays split through the branches of the pine tree leaves, capturing the pink hues perfectly.
“Rune,” Poppy whispered and ran her hand over the print.
“It was the first morning you were here.” I shrugged. “I didn’t want you to miss your sunrise.”
Poppy’s head moved until it rested against my shoulder. I knew then I’d done right. I felt the happiness in her touch. It was better than words.
I flicked through the album. Showed her the trees beginning to flower outside. The raindrops against the window on the day it poured. And the stars in the sky, the full moon, and the birds nesting in the trees.
When I closed the album, Poppy shifted her head back and stared into my eyes. “You captured the moments I’ve missed.”
Feeling my cheeks heat up, I lowered my head. “Of course. I always will.”
Poppy sighed. “Even when I’m not here … You need to capture all these moments.” My stomach rolled. Before I could say anything, she lifted her hand to my cheek. It felt so light. “Promise me,” she said. When I didn’t respond, she insisted, “Promise me, Rune. These pictures are too precious to have never been taken.” She smiled. “Think of what you can capture in the future. Just think of the possibilities that lie ahead.”
“I promise,” I replied quietly. “I promise, Poppymin.”
She exhaled. “Thank you.”
Leaning over, I kissed her cheek. When I pulled back, I rolled to face her on the bed. “I’ve missed you, Poppymin.”
Smiling, she whispered back, “I’ve missed you too.”
“We’ve got a lot to do when you get out of this place,” I told her, watching the excitement flare in her eyes.
“Yes,” she answered. Her lips rubbed together and she asked, “How long until the first bloom?”
My heart tore when I knew what she was thinking. She was trying to assess how much time she had left. And if she would make it. If she would live to see her few remaining wishes come true.
“They think about a week, if that.”
This time, there was no masking the utter happiness radiating from her wide smile. She closed her eyes. “I can make it that long,” she stated confidently, and held my hand just that little bit tighter.
“You’ll last longer,” I promised and watched as Poppy nodded.
“To one thousand boy-kisses,” she agreed.
Stroking my hand down her cheek, I said, “Then I’ll draw them out.”
“Yes,” Poppy smiled. “For infinity.”
* * *
Poppy was discharged from hospital a week later. The true extent of how much the infection had affected her had become apparent after a few days. Poppy couldn’t walk. She’d lost all strength in her legs. Her doctor informed us that if her cancer had been cured, over time she would have recovered that strength. But, as things were, she would never walk again.
Poppy was in a wheelchair. And, being Poppy, she didn’t it let affect her one bit. “As long as I can still go outside and feel the sun on my face, I’ll be happy,” she said when her doctor had told her the bad news. She looked up at me and added, “As long as I can still hold Rune’s hand, I really don’t care if I ever walk again.”
And just like that, she melted me where I stood.
Clutching the new photos in my hand, I ran across the grass between our two houses to Poppy’s window. As I climbed through, I saw she was asleep on her bed.
She had been brought home just that day. She was tired, but I had to show her this. It was my surprise. My welcome home.
One of her wishes come true.
As I entered the room, Poppy’s eyes blinked open and a smile graced her lips. “The bed was cold without you,” she said and ran her hand over the side where I usually lay.
“I had to get something for you,” I said, sitting down on the bed. Leaning over, I kissed her lips. I kissed her deeply, smiling as her cheeks flushed in the aftermath. Leaning over, Poppy took a blank paper heart from her jar and scribbled something down.
I stared at the almost-full jar as she dropped the heart inside.
We were nearly there.
Turning back, Poppy shifted to a sitting position. “What’s in your hand?” she asked, excitement in her voice.
“Photos,” I announced, and watched as her face lit with happiness.
“My favorite gift,” she said, and I knew that she meant every word. “Your magical captured moments.”
I handed over the envelope; Poppy opened it. She gasped when her eyes fell on the subject. She searched through every photo with excitement, then turned to me with hopeful eyes. “First bloom?”
I smiled back and nodded. Poppy placed her hand over her mouth and her eyes shone with happiness. “When were these taken?”
“A few days ago,” I replied and watched her hand drop and her lips curve into a smile.
“Rune,” she whispered and reached for my hand. She brought it to my face. “That means…”
I stood up.
Moving to her side of the bed, I scooped her up in my arms. Poppy’s hands went around my neck, and I lowered my lips to hers. When I pulled back, I asked, “Are you with me?”
Sighing happily, she replied, “I’m with you.”
I placed her gently in her wheelchair, pulled the blanket over her legs and moved to the handles. Poppy tipped her head back as I was about to push her into the hallway. I looked down at her.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
I kissed her upturned mouth. “Let’s go.”
Poppy’s infectious giggles echoed through the house as I pushed her down the hallway and out into the fresh air. I carried her down the steps. Once she was safely back in her chair, I pushed her over the grass toward the grove. The weather was warm, the sun shining down from a clear sky.
Poppy tipped her head back to soak in the warmth of the sun, her cheeks filling with life as she did. When Poppy’s eyes opened, I knew she had smelled the scent before she’d even seen the grove. “Rune,” she said as she gripped the arms of the wheelchair.
My heart beat faster and faster as we drew closer. Then, as we turned the corner and the blossom grove came into view, I held my breath.
A loud gasp slipped from Poppy’s mouth. Taking my camera from around my neck, I walked out to stand by her side until I had the perfect view of her face. Poppy didn’t even notice me pressing the button over and over; she was too lost in the beauty before her. Too mesmerized as she reached up her hand and delicately stroked a feather-light touch along a freshly born petal. Then she dropped her head back, eyes closed, arms in the air, as her laughter rang out around the grove.
I held the camera, braced on the button for the moment I prayed would follow next. And then it came. Poppy opened her eyes, completely enraptured by this moment, and then looked at me. My finger pressed down—her smiling face was alive with life, the backdrop a sea of pink and white.
Poppy’s hands slowly lowered and her smile softened as she stared at me. I lowered the camera as I returned that stare, the cherry blossoms full and vibrant around where she sat—her symbolic halo. Then it hit me. Poppy, Poppymin, she was the cherry blossom.
She was my cherry blossom.
An unrivaled beauty, limited in its life. A beauty so extreme in its grace that it can’t last. It stays to enrich our lives, then drifts away in the wind. Never forgotten. Because it reminds us we must live. That life is fragile, yet in that fragility, there is strength. There is love. There is purpose. It reminds us that life is short, that our breaths are numbered and our destiny is fixed, regardless of how hard we fight.
It reminds us not to waste a single second. Live hard, love harder. Chase dreams, seek adventures … capture moments.
Live beautifully.
I swallowed as these thoughts swirled in my mind. Then Poppy held out her hand. “Take me through the grove, baby,” she asked softly. “I want to experience this with you.”
Lowering the camera to rest around my neck, I moved behind her wheelchair and pushed her along the dried dirt path. Poppy breathed in, slow and measured. The girl that I loved drank it all in. The beauty of this moment. A wish fulfilled.
Arriving at our tree, its branches bustling with pastel pinks, I took a blanket from the back of her chair and placed it on the ground. I lifted Poppy into my arms and set us down beneath our tree, the view of the grove spread before us.
Poppy laid her back against my chest. And she sighed, she held my hand that lay over her stomach, and she whispered, “We made it.”
Shifting her hair from her neck, I placed a kiss on her warm skin. “We did, baby.”
She paused for a minute. “It’s like a dream … it’s like a painting. I want heaven to look exactly like this.”
Instead of feeling hurt or sad at her comment, I instead found myself wanting it for Poppy. Wanting so badly for her to have this, forever.
I could see how tired she was. I could see that she was in pain. She never said so, but she didn’t need to. She spoke to me without words.
And I knew. I knew she was staying until I was ready to let her go.
“Rune?” Poppy’s voice pulled me around. Leaning back against the tree, I lifted Poppy to lie over my legs so I could see her. So I could commit to memory every single second of this day.
“Ja?” I answered and ran my fingers down her face. Her forehead was lined with worry. I sat a little straighter.
Poppy took a deep breath, and said, “What if I forget?”
My heart cracked right down the center as I watched fear cross her face. Poppy didn’t feel fear. But she did about this.
“Forget what, baby?”
“Everything,” she whispered, her voice breaking slightly. “You, my family … all the kisses. The kisses I want to relive until I get you back again one day.”
Forcing myself to stay strong, I assured her, “You won’t.”
Poppy glanced away. “I once read that souls forget their life on Earth when they pass. That they have to forget or else they would never be able to move on, to be at peace in heaven.” Her finger began tracing patterns on my fingers. “But I don’t want that,” she added, almost inaudibly. “I want to remember everything.”
Looking up at me, she said with tears in her eyes, “I never want to forget you. I need you with me, always. I want to watch you live your life. The exciting life I know you’ll have. I want to see the pictures you’ll take.” She swallowed. “But most of all, I want my thousand kisses. I never want to forget what we shared. I want to remember them always.”
“Then I’ll find a way for you to see them,” I said, and with the breeze that wrapped around us, Poppy’s sadness floated away.
“You will?” she whispered, hope clear in her gentle voice.
I nodded. “I promise. I don’t know how, but I will. Nothing, not even God, will stop me.”
“As I wait in our grove,” she said, with a dreamy, distant smile.
“Ja.”
Settling back down in my arms, Poppy whispered, “That’ll be nice.” Tipping her head, she said, “But wait a year.”
“A year?”
Poppy nodded her head. “I read it takes a soul a year to pass on. I don’t know if that’s true, but in case it is, wait a year to remind me of our kisses. I don’t want to miss it … whatever you do.”
“Okay,” I agreed, but I had to stop talking. I didn’t trust that I wouldn’t fall apart.
Birds flew from tree to tree, becoming lost from view in the blossom. Clasping our hands together, Poppy said, “You gave me this, Rune. You gave me this wish.”
I couldn’t respond. My breathing hitched as she spoke. I wrapped her tighter in my arms, then with my finger under her chin, brought her to my mouth. The sweetness was still there on her soft lips. When I drew back, she kept her eyes closed, and said, “Kiss nine hundred and thirty-four. In the blossom grove with the blossoms full. With my Rune … my heart almost burst.”
I smiled. As I did, I felt an ache of happiness for my girl. We were almost there. The end of her adventure was in sight.
“Rune?” Poppy called.
“Mm?” I replied.
“You’ve stopped smoking.”
Exhaling, I answered, “Ja.”
“Why?”
Pausing to compose my answer, I admitted, “Someone I love taught me life is precious. She taught me not to do anything to jeopardize the adventure. And I listened.”
“Rune,” Poppy said, a catch in her throat. “It is precious,” she whispered, “so very precious. Don’t waste one single second of it.”
Poppy lazed against me, watching the beauty of the grove. As she inhaled a deep breath, she quietly confided, “I don’t think I’ll see prom, Rune.” My body stilled. “I’m feeling real tired.” She tried to hold onto me tightly, and she repeated, “Real tired.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled her close. “Miracles can happen, baby,” I replied.
“Yes,” Poppy said breathlessly, “they can.” She brought my hand up to her mouth and kissed each of my fingers. “I would have loved to have seen you in a tux. And I would have loved to dance with you, under the lights, to a song that made me think of you and me.”
Feeling Poppy begin to tire in my arms, I held back the pain this image conjured up and said, “Let’s get you home, baby.”
As I went to stand, Poppy reached for my hand. I glanced down. “You’ll stay by my side, won’t you?”
Crouching down, I cupped her cheeks. “Forever.”
“Good,” she whispered. “I’m not quite ready to let you go, not just yet.”
As I pushed her home, I sent a silent prayer to God, asking Him to give her just two more weeks. He could bring my girl home after that; she was ready, I’d be ready. Just after I gave her all her dreams.
Just let me give her this final wish.
I had to.
It was my final thank-you for all the love she’d given me.
It was the only gift I could give.
