I studied hard for a test I had on Thursday and kept my head down. Cayden was busy at practice before the away game, and after, I’d barely seen him. Now it felt like he was the one avoiding me.
His secrets lay inside me like undetonated bombs. I didn’t know what to do with the information that I’d gotten on him. I felt sick when I thought about it. The newspaper was rolled up and hidden inside a sock, in the back of an old box in my wardrobe, and right now, I’d be fine with never seeing it again.
Had Cayden really killed his foster parents when he was eight? The newspaper had seemed to imply that the public sure thought so. And what had Jack meant about his foster family being cutters? Was that what the scars on his back were from? And his mother OD’d? There was too much trauma to unpack, and I couldn’t handle it. Instead, I went through the motions of normal life while my brain felt like a broken record, returning again and again to Uncle Jack’s rancid trailer.
On Friday, at lunch, me and Eve ran into Ellen outside the cafeteria. The girl who’d started my journey to Midnight Falls in the first place. She was talking to Josh, who had a bandage across the bridge of his nose.
“Oh my God, Josh, are you okay?” I asked immediately. I hadn’t noticed that he was injured before.
He shrugged. “Sure, it was a few days ago, it’s just annoying now.”
“A few days ago?”
“After the game on Monday,” he clarified.
Something that felt like fear skittered down my spine. “How did it happen?”
“I was mugged in the parking lot. Except the mugger didn’t take anything.”
Josh’s tone was hard to read. Did he suspect Cayden? After how aggressive he’d been toward Josh in the game, it was hard not to suspect him.
“Before you ask, I didn’t get a look at the guy.”
“Oh, that’s a shame. Anyway, don’t let me keep you. I have your jersey in my locker, freshly washed.”
“I’ll get it next time. I still need to grab food before lunch is over.”
He and Ellen walked off, and I watched them go.
“I didn’t know they were friends,” Eve remarked and slid her arm through mine, steering me toward our lockers. “Do you think it’s odd timing? You wear Josh’s jersey, Cayden loses it, and Josh ends up with a broken nose?”
“No, I mean, it’s probably just a coincidence,” I muttered, trying to convince myself as much as her.
“Right, like that family’s house burning down.” Eve snorted.
Fear shot through me. I pulled her to a stop in a secluded alcove.
“Look, I don’t think we should talk about that, at all, especially not here. First of all, what eight-year-old can be responsible for anything? Eight is a child. Second, if it’s really true that Cayden is dangerous, I don’t want you on his radar.”
“Asher is my brother, I’ll be fine. I’m more worried about you,” Eve argued.
“I’ll be fine. My dad is there at home all the time, and besides, he doesn’t know we went there. Just don’t give it away, and he never needs to.”
“Roger that.” Eve checked her phone and sighed. “Looks like I have a double shift tonight, so I have to take a rain check on the sleepover.”
“Really? I could just come to the diner and wait for you to finish.”
She studied me. “You really don’t want to be at home, do you?”
I shook my head, words rising and falling behind my lips. I couldn’t find the ones I wanted, because I didn’t know how I felt about any of it.
“I’ll hang out here as long as possible and work on my biology project and then head to the diner, what do you say?” I urged.
She sighed and shrugged. “It’s your night to squander, if that’s what you want.”
The school library was open until nine on Fridays. There was plenty going on at HHH until that time, with all the sports clubs, band practice, and even glee club.
I left the library as late as I could and wandered toward my locker. I shoved the biology project I was working on inside and headed for the bathrooms.
When I got out, someone was playing the drums down the hall, and a janitor was emptying trash cans. I waved hello to him before swinging open my locker. I hadn’t bothered locking it. Advanced-level biology projects weren’t exactly a hot commodity worth stealing. I had to remember to take it home, though, because I needed to work on it over the weekend. I stilled as I realized that my lock didn’t look quite the same as it had a few minutes ago.
The project was gone.
“What the hell?”
“Your friend took it for you. Over to the rink,” the janitor called over to me, being helpful.
Your friend took it? Ice ran through my veins. It seemed my standoff with Cayden was coming to an end. He was initiating contact, or more like provoking it.
If the damn project hadn’t been so important, I’d have just left anyway and gone over to Eve’s diner, but I couldn’t. I had to get it back. What was he up to? After days of the silent treatment, he was forcing contact. After everything in Midnight Falls, I had no idea what to think about him anymore.
Reluctantly, I headed toward the rink. A light drizzle hit my face as I walked across the school grounds toward the separate building. It would be winter break soon, and the weather in Hade Harbor was getting rough. In my hurry to go and get my project back, I’d left my coat in my locker.
I shivered, gripping the straps of my backpack tighter. Don’t be so nervous. He doesn’t even know you went to Midnight. As far as he knows, you’ve just been avoiding him. That’s all. Relax. He can probably smell fear.
With that daunting thought in mind, I pushed through the doors of the rink, surprised to see the foyer dark.
A glow of light came from the corridor leading to the rink. I followed it. The lights blazed over the ice, and John, the guy who drove the Zamboni, was just finishing up. He waved to me as he jumped down and headed off. Practice was over, then, and everyone had left. Well, not everyone, because clearly Cayden was here somewhere. I walked around the side of the ice, just as the lights went out.
I froze.
“John? I’m still here!” I called. Why would John turn off the light when he clearly knew that? My nerves from earlier returned full force. It hadn’t been John. It was Cayden, and he was here somewhere, in the dark.
“Hilarious, Cayden. Give me my project,” I called into the darkness.
“Come and get it, Ladybug. I’ve left it for you in the neutral zone.” His deep voice boomed around the rink.
I couldn’t tell where it was coming from. My eyes were gradually adjusting to the darkness, and the white square of ice was lighter than other places, but I couldn’t make out if there was something there or not. The neutral zone in hockey was the middle of the rink. He wanted me go out onto the ice.
“I sure hope it isn’t made of paper or anything else that will get damaged sitting out there,” he prompted me.
Damn him. I stepped out onto the ice, my sneakers sliding a little until I got my balance. I wasn’t a stranger to ice, thanks to my dad, but still, whatever game Cayden was playing, I was pretty sure he wanted to put me at a disadvantage, so the ice worked well.
I inched forward, arms out, wobbling as I went. It was quiet, and I could only hear my breath fogging in and out. I was cold from getting wet outside and shivered involuntarily. I really didn’t need to get sick right now.
As I moved at a snail’s pace toward the middle, I heard it. The faint swish-swoosh of blades on ice. I stopped, wrapping my arms around myself. The air moved against me, and I knew Cayden had just blown past. My eyes were still adjusting, bit by bit, and I could make out his black-clad shape shooting like a bullet in wide laps.
“Cayden,” I started.
“Have fun on your trip to Black Lake trailer park, Lillian? Uncle Jack had such sweet things to say about you.”
He knew. He knew. Genuine terror gripped me. I scanned the center of the ice. There was nothing there. All of this had just been to get me here, vulnerable. I whirled around and started to run toward the edge of the rink. My feet were sliding madly, and Cayden wove his way closer and closer to me, passing by with small touches that sent me spinning around. Fuck. If he wanted to freak me out, it was working. It was really fucking working.
I fell hard on one knee when he checked me particularly hard as he passed. Pain radiated up my leg as I pushed myself to my hands. My sneakers glided uncontrollably, and I went down again. This time, my hands grazed the ice surface and stung.
“Stop it. Cayden – stop! You’ve made your point.” I tried to sound calm when I was anything but.
He chuckled coldly, the sound skipping to me across through the darkness. “I clearly didn’t make my point, though, did I? You didn’t believe me when I said I wasn’t someone to mess with. You really should have, Lily.”
I slapped a hand down on the ice and attempted to stand again. A shower of ice cascaded across my hand. Cayden had come to a full stop from his great speed, his skates slicing the ice hard, just beside my hand. Any closer and the blade would have touched my skin.
My knee throbbed, and my whole body was sore from falling over repeatedly on the hard surface. I was shaking with cold now. My backpack had fallen off one shoulder, pulling me to the side. I slowly and steadily got to my feet. Cayden made no move to help, simply looming over me in his intimidating black jersey, pads on and all. Blood dripped down from the hole in my leggings to the ice, a quiet drip.
I stood, balling my shaking hands into fists. Finally steady enough on my feet, I brought my eyes to meet Cayden’s. The blue was like a stormy sea, ready to wreck me against rocks at any moment.
“I didn’t believe you, you’re right. I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “But I believe you now.”
My words seemed to take him off guard. His posture softened a fraction, though I could still feel his anger. It swirled around us. I’d never seen him so angry. His fury seemed to burn the air. I had to get the hell out of away from him until a cooler head could prevail.
I edged my bag further onto one shoulder and waited until Cayden shifted his weight on his skates. As soon as he did, I acted. I swung my bag with all my might at his head. He slid to the side, surprised by the sudden move. It didn’t come close to knocking him off his feet, but it distracted him enough for me to turn and run again. This time, my feet managed to keep my balance until the edge of the ice, and I stepped off and sprinted between the seats toward the door at the top of the rink. Cayden had to take his skates off. He couldn’t catch me. He couldn’t.
I burst through the doors leading outside and was hit with pouring rain. The drizzle had turned into a downpour, and it soaked through my T-shirt immediately. My leg hurt, and my nerves felt frazzled as I ran through the puddles of the parking lot. Most of the cars had left already, and there was no one around to ask for help.
“Lillian!”
Cayden’s wild shout sent a sob of fear from my mouth. I turned to see him running toward me, feet bare, the rain glancing off his padded shoulders. I wasn’t looking. I didn’t see the hole until my foot fell right into it. Sharp pain lanced up my leg as I went down. My ankle throbbed. Tears joined the rain on my face as I sat there in a puddle and succumbed to my fate. He was going to catch me. He had been all along. There was no point in running anymore. He was already on me.
“Get up,” his hard voice ground out.
I shook my head, holding my knees to my chest like they could somehow protect me.
“Get up now, Lillian.”
“I can’t.”
His legs were right in front of my eyes. His bare feet shiny and wet. He must have pulled everything off in a bid to lose his skates as quickly as possible.
Then his arms were under mine, and he was lifting me. I gasped when I put weight on my ankle. It wasn’t terribly sore, but it stung. I couldn’t run right now, that was for sure. I was so, so cold, my teeth chattered.
“Look at me.”
My eyes remained stubbornly fixed on the Hellions logo on his jersey. I shook my head.
“Look at me now,” Cayden ground out.
Slowly, my eyes drifted upward. I was so cold I couldn’t feel my lips. I blinked through the rain at Cayden. His stormy eyes were black pits in the rainy dark. He stared hard at me for a moment. I shook uncontrollably now.
He swore under his breath and bent suddenly, hefting me over his shoulder like I was weightless.
“Where a-are w-we going-g?” I asked past my chattering teeth.
The rain continued to soak us through as Cayden carried me back in the direction of the rink.
“No – no, I don’t want to go in there,” I protested weakly. I was freezing, hurt, and scared, but there was also resignation there. Cayden West was determined to have it out, and I was fresh out of energy to escape him.
Besides, there might have been the tiniest part of me that was curious. The tiniest part of me that wondered about this person who had burst into my methodical, orderly, sheltered life, and exploded it from the inside. What was the real story behind all the things I’d heard about him? I couldn’t help but wonder.
We reached the rink, and instead of heading toward the ice to torment me some more, or slice off pieces of me, he headed down toward the locker room.
It was dark, and inside the locker room was darker still. Cayden felt around on the wall and flipped on one of the overhead fluorescent lights.
A weird sound filled the air. It was a gibbering sound of some kind. With horror, I realized it was coming from me. It was the shivering; my mouth let out an involuntary gasp with every shiver.
Cayden headed past the lockers and straight into the shower room. It was a big open space with a row of metal showerheads dotted along the tile.
“Hold on,” he muttered, turning on three of the showers and twisting the temperature to hot. After a moment, steam rose into the air. He carried me over to the shower in the middle and walked straight under the spray.
The hot water sank through my wet clothes and glanced off my back. I hissed. It was so hot it nearly hurt. Cayden shifted me down his body. Every single inch of me pressed against him in a slow slide until my feet hit the floor. I held on to his shoulders for balance as I raised my hurt ankle slightly. Hot, steaming water poured down on us.
“Are you trying to drown me this time?” I asked, my teeth finally stopping their uncontrollable chatter.
“Your lips were blue.”
It was delivered shortly, but the look in his eyes was anything but. It was unfathomable. Bottomless, really. I could fall into those eyes forever. It was then I realized that it wasn’t really anger driving him. It was fear. Now that I knew who he was and where he’d come from, I could see under his cruel, aggressive mask to the boy beneath. Sure, he might have just terrorized me, and I might have let my fight or flight instinct carry me away, but now that I’d had time to study him, the desire to run faded.
The water brought me back to life, warming me through. Something else flickered in my chest, an uncomfortable weight that had lodged there since I’d seen the hopeful little dream catcher in Jack’s trailer with its broken strings. Going to Midnight Falls had changed everything, because I no longer thought about trying to get Cayden kicked out of HHH. It was a truth too big to admit, even to myself.
He watched me as my shivering gradually stopped, his hands sliding up and down my arms. When he spoke, his voice was tired and devoid of anger, like he’d burned through all his fury and all that was left were ashes.
“Why do you hate me so fucking much?” His deep voice nearly broke on the last word. “Is it just about the journal or—”
“You pushed me in the pool and threatened me – you’ve done everything you can to get under my skin and scare me!”
He swallowed hard. “I needed to scare you because I can’t go back there.”
Those quiet words broke through my resentment and anger toward him like none of his hardhanded tactics had managed to do.
“I’ll die first.” That rough admission seemed to cost him, his jaw clenching in anguish.
“I don’t hate you,” I blurted out.
He flinched like he had expected me to say something else, then his eyes flickered to mine, disbelieving.
“I was worried you’d hurt my family,” I continued.
The slight vulnerability he’d shown faded as his mask slipped back into place. “Yeah, well. And now you’re sure, right? What else can a guy like me do?”
His words were filled with self-loathing, and I hated to hear them.
I shook my head slowly. “You’re the one who just chased me across the ice. You’re the one trying to scare me into submission. Why are you trying to be the bad guy?”
“I don’t know how to be anything else.”
“Really? You seem to be getting on with the other Ice Gods just fine. I should be asking you why you hate me so much?” I echoed his question.
“I don’t hate you, Lily. I really, really don’t fucking hate you,” he said solemnly.
Something about his intonation kindled a different kind of heat in me.
“I haven’t fucking hated you since the moment we met.”
“But you threatened me! You tried to scare me.”
“Because you saw too much about me…I didn’t want to look at you knowing that you’d seen it all.” His lips twisted bitterly. “But then you went and found out the rest, anyway. Admit it, you were never that afraid of me then. Not like you are now.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. How could I tell him that he was right, that I hadn’t been scared of him then? But was I scared of him now? No. I didn’t know why, but I really wasn’t. All I knew was that I was drawn to him. I couldn’t keep myself away. Nothing felt normal around him.
“You’re right. I’ve never really been scared of you, Cayden. And I’m still not scared of you now.”
He jerked like I’d slapped him. His eyebrows pinched together, and he leaned down so our height difference wasn’t so unnavigable. Water ran in tendrils down his golden skin, sticking in his long, dark lashes, trailing over his full, sensuous lips. He was beautiful.
“So, it’s not fear now, but pity–is that what you’re telling me?”
His low tone held a warning, but it wasn’t one I was capable of hearing right now.
I snorted, water going up my nose at the gesture. “Fuck pity. You don’t need my pity. You have everything you need to change your life, and you’re doing it. Why would I pity you?”
He seemed taken aback by that, unsure how to react to my words. He stepped closer.
He cupped my face and rubbed his thumbs over my cheeks. “If that’s true, then there’s only one obstacle to getting everything I want…and that’s you, Freckles. Only you have the power to ruin my chances here.”
I swallowed.
“I should hate you. It would be easier,” he muttered, leaning in and pressing his lips to my forehead in an almost sweet kiss.
I swayed into him. In that moment of connection, my ankle fell away and my stinging knee. The fear I’d felt on the ice was gone. In its place was a different kind of fear — the fear of opening your heart to someone. I could tell that Cayden was scared, too. We were just two scared souls tossed around in a world that seemed determined to crush them.
I tilted my face up just as he pulled away and caught his chin with my lips. It should have been awkward, how clumsy and unpracticed we were. It should have felt ridiculous, but it didn’t.
He narrowed his eyes at my upturned face, his hand pushing the wet strands of red off my forehead before he swooped in and kissed me on the lips. This kiss was nothing like the ones before. This kiss was hesitant. A question.
I parted my lips in answer, letting him inside. I was burning for this guy, and I had been since the moment we’d met. Everything I’d found out about him had only stoked the flames of my obsession. He could be dangerous, but I didn’t think he’d hurt me or my family, and that was the truth. He was a fiery ball of anger and ambition, talent, and hurt. He pulled me to him wherever he was, like a magnet I couldn’t escape. I was caught in his trap and I was tired of fighting it.
I was tired of the rules imposed on my life. I was tired of being Coach’s good little girl. Cayden was everything my parents had warned me away from all my life, and now, in his arms, I’d never felt more alive. Just like that, I fell.
His tongue pushed eagerly into my mouth, sliding along my own, and he moaned quietly against my lips. His hands gripped my waist, backing me ruthlessly into the wall behind us. The impact jolted me and took my breath away. Cayden wasn’t gentle, and I didn’t want him to be.
His hands went to the collar of my wet T-shirt, and with a sharp pull, tore the thin material right down the middle.
His huge, calloused hands tugged my bralette from my tits and pushed it up my body, and it felt painful when our lips had to part to get it over my head. He leaned back, steadying me against the wall and watching the water run down my bare chest. His hands cupped my breasts, making them appear even smaller under his huge palms.
“You – I want to see you,” I urged, tugging at the bottom of his jersey. There was no way I was getting that off without his help, considering he still had on his enormous shoulder pads.
Thankfully, he wanted to be bare against me just as much as I wanted to feel him. He pulled his jersey off, seamlessly maneuvering it over his padding, and tossed it aside. He shed his pads, slowly revealing his muscled torso piece by piece. As soon as he was naked on top, he lunged back toward me, capturing my mouth with urgent kisses. I pressed myself against him, delighting in the feeling of my nipples rubbing his hard chest.
I wound my arms around his middle, his muscular frame preventing me from fully embracing him. His lips moved from my mouth down to my chest, and I traced a hand over his back.
Hard ridges of scar tissue met my fingers, and I stilled. Cayden seemed to freeze for a moment.
His mouth spoke against my skin. “Don’t.”
I ran my fingers along the word carved into his flesh, because that was what it had to be.
“Don’t… please.” His voice didn’t sound anything like him.
I dropped my hand from his back and brought it to his face instead. His eyes were lowered to the floor. I cupped his strong jaw, so tense compared to only moments before. I leaned up on my tiptoes and kissed his lips chastely.
His eyes snapped to mine, as if he was surprised that I still wanted him after being reminded of his scars. I still didn’t know what they said, but he thought I did, and that was what mattered.
“Please, don’t stop,” I told him quietly. “Don’t stop touching me.” It sounded like a plea, and maybe it was. I felt like I’d die without his hands on me.
He held my gaze, his hand moving down my hip to the waistband of my leggings. He tugged them down slowly, and I held on to his shoulders as he gently pulled them from my feet. I tugged at the laces of his hockey pants, but he brushed my hands aside to do it himself. His hockey pants fell to the floor, and we were both naked.
The water was still hot. We were probably using up the school’s entire supply, but I couldn’t bring myself to care right now. Not when Cayden West was naked in front of me and looking at me like I was something precious. He straightened up. My gaze ran over him, drinking in the full sight of his glorious body. The bruises that he’d had were nearly all faded, but he also had some new ones, probably from hockey. He paid them no mind as he lifted me into his arms and urged my legs around his waist. My back met the wall as I pressed myself into his arms. Fuck, it felt good to be held by him. He held me effortlessly, his head tilted back to kiss me. His hands were under my thighs, and his cock brushed against my entrance. He was so close. I squirmed in his arms, trying to nudge the head of his cock inside me. Even the tip stretched me.
He growled low in his throat. “If you don’t want me to have all of you, you shouldn’t do that, Lily. I’m only human.”
I looked down at his face, my arms holding tight around his neck. I didn’t want to stop. It was a sudden revelation. From the moment he’d read my journal, or maybe even before then—since I’d seen him at Beckett’s party, and he’d chased me into the kitchen and cornered me—he’d been the one in my head when I imagined losing my virginity.
It had to be him. There was no one else I wanted. As fucked up as that might be, it was an undeniable truth.
I squirmed more, dropping my weight as much as I could, sending the fat tip of him deeper.
He grunted, cords of muscle straining in his neck. “Lily, this isn’t your dream journal. If you want me to fuck you…you need to tell me.”
“I want you to fuck me,” I blurted before I could overthink it or get embarrassed.
He stared hard at me, studying me like I was a puzzle he was determined to solve. Then his lips curved into a dazzling smile and my heart skipped a beat. Cayden West might be the sexiest, most brooding bad boy around, but his smile was a heart-stopper. He looked younger in that moment, free of his usual burdens.
“I’m on the pill,” I said quickly.
He raised an eyebrow at me.
“For painful periods,” I explained. It felt wrong to let him believe I was sleeping around every weekend when nothing could be further from the truth. He was my first, and he should know it.
He swallowed hard, his hands holding me poised on the tip of his cock, keeping me perfectly still, trapped between him and the wall.
“Do you have a condom?” I prompted after a second, my mind skittering to diseases and lack of protection. I should care about it more. I should make us stop until he had a condom on. I knew all this, and yet the thought of stopping was painful.
He kissed me slowly, lightly bouncing me on his cock, not impaling me, not yet, just teasing. Then he shook his head. “I don’t carry them.”
My heart fell with disappointment. He didn’t? I was pretty sure guys like the Ice Gods were ready to throw down at any time, considering the female worship they received.
He sighed against my lips. “I’ve never met anyone I wanted to do this with before, so I’ve never needed them.”
His words jolted me. “You mean you’ve never…” I trailed off, the words too ridiculous to say.
Cayden shook his head, and then a crooked smile touched his lips. “So, go easy on me, Freckles. You’re nearly too much for me to handle.”
“Too much what?”
He was lowering me slowly now, and my muscles ached as he parted them.
“Too much everything. Over and above me, all fucking around me, everywhere I look, it’s you.” His words were raw, pulled from a place of complete truth.
I wrapped them tightly in my heart and willed my body to relax.
He groaned as he pushed his cock further inside me. “So fucking tight. Are you going to let me in, Lily?”
“I’m trying. I’m starting to think this isn’t going to work. You’re too big, and I’m just tiny really, when you think about it,” I rambled. The stretch hurt but felt good at the same time. My head was spinning from the dual sensations.
“I’ll fit. I was made to fill you,” he murmured in my ear. “And you were made to take me.”
His words only relaxed me more, and slowly, his nudging thrusts got longer, reaching deeper, until his hips met mine. He was all the way in, and I’d never felt so full. I wasn’t aware of any pain, other than the dull ache of being filled in a place I’d never had filled before. It was a heavy feeling. I clung on as Cayden rested a moment. I was pinned to the wall by his cock; I couldn’t have moved if I’d wanted to. The thought of it turned me on, just like it did in my dreams.
He kissed my ear, nipping the lobe lightly as he started to move.
“You’re going to destroy me, I can already tell.”
I couldn’t speak. His words were my words. We were each other’s mutual destruction, but right now, I couldn’t think about that, not with what had to be a nine-inch cock sliding in and out of me, parting my untested muscles, drilling me to the wall. He fucked me just like that, the top of my back resting against the wall, his hands pulling my hips against him. I held on, biting my lower lip as the stretch faded and gave way to pleasure.
He cursed, his lips brushing over my neck. “Fuck, I can’t fucking hold it. You’re too much.”
I was startled by his confession. He was going to come. I had pushed Cayden West over the edge. Me. The power was heady.
He pulsed inside me, filling me with warmth. He’d come inside me. His cum was inside me. Just the thought made me feel wicked. He was sunk deep, his entire weight pressing me into the wall. I kissed his neck, fighting the urge to squirm on him. It had felt good, but not like when he’d eaten me out. The stretch sensation had gotten in the way.
I moved my leg, feeling like I should probably climb off his dick if we were done, when his hands tightened on my thighs.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going, Freckles?”
“Um, aren’t we done?” I wondered.
He shook his head, straightening off the wall and pulling me with him, still sunk deep. “We aren’t even close to finished. You haven’t come yet, and we’re not leaving here until you do.”
He turned us, leaning his back against the wall this time. He lifted me and lowered me, and I gasped. He was still hard, and inside me was wetter than ever, his cum lubricating the delicious drag of his cock.
“You like that?” he asked, watching me with rapt attention as I moaned, my head falling back.
I was slack in his arms. I wasn’t even holding on; his strength had completely taken me over. He lifted me faster, dragging me up and down his cock, all the ridges and veins on the long length rubbing me inside just right. He somehow managed to grind me against his hard pelvic bone, and the movement felt like it zapped my clit with pleasure. I stiffened, rising higher and higher.
“That’s right. Fall apart on me. Come on my big cock. Let me ruin you like you ruin me.”
He picked me up and slammed me down, pushing me higher and higher, until my body spasmed and pleasure blasted out. Shocking waves of heat and euphoria jolted through me, reshaping my neural pathways, remaking me as a person addicted to this very feeling, and this man. Only him. I clenched down hard on him, and a deep groan left him as I contracted so hard my pussy became like a vice. He stiffened, and with his groan still on his breath, he came again.
“Fuck me, I can’t hold back, I can’t keep anything from you, and I’m done trying,” he panted in my ear.
I knew just how he felt.
Cayden drove me to Eve’s diner on his motorbike once the rain had stopped. I was wearing his sweats and a hoodie from his locker. It smelled like him, and I never wanted to wash it.
“Can you take the long way?” I asked as he approached me with the spare helmet and pulled it gently down on my head.
“With you? Anytime.” He grinned.
I couldn’t get used to seeing that content expression. It was so different from the serious, intense guy that I’d known before.
I wrapped myself around him as he drove us down the dark winding roads surrounding Hade Harbor. I let my arms fly over my head again and felt freer than I’d ever felt before. I didn’t know what was going on between Cayden and me. I didn’t know if what had happened tonight would ever happen again, even if I wanted it to. It had been just as soul-baring as it had been physical, and I had no idea how to move forward from it.
I only knew that I’d done something I wanted, when I wanted, with the guy I wanted. Now, I had a perfect memory to treasure forever. I’d also decided to lay my amateur investigations into Cayden to rest. My will to go against him had broken when I’d seen the trailer he’d grown up in. It was too late to hate him, especially now that I’d seen so much of his life before Hade Harbor. I couldn’t forget it. I didn’t want to.
He roared into town and let me off outside the diner.
“Are you sure you’re staying with Eve tonight?”
“Yes, we already made plans. Don’t worry, I’m not going to say anything. As far as I’m concerned, I never went to Midnight Falls.” I didn’t bother telling him that Eve had been with me. There wasn’t any point making things more complicated.
Cayden raised an eyebrow at me. “I guess I’ll just try my best to believe you. After all, I still have your journal pages on my phone.”
I frowned at him, climbing off the back of the bike and hopping to the curb. “Don’t remind me. I was hoping we could move on from the constant threats.”
He chuckled. “How about this…we can move on, but you need to write down some more dreams in it. I’ll do my best to make them come true.” He was sitting astride his bike, looking hotter than sin. The original bad boy, temptation in a leather jacket and boots, his hair still wet from the shower.
Oh God, the shower.
I flushed and looked down at the sidewalk. The shower room was too fresh in my mind, and my body was still too sore for him to be looking so hot right now.
“You can keep that one, I guess, as a spoil of war. You gave me a new one, remember?”
He nodded slowly. “When it comes to you, Lillian Williams, I remember everything.”
I had nothing to answer that outrageously romantic statement, and my heart wheezed, desperately in need of some distance from this guy. If I wasn’t careful, I was going to end up with a lot more than a great first-time story. I would end up with a raging, unrequited crush, and seeing as I’d nearly survived high school without dying over any of the Ice Gods, I didn’t want to start now.
“I’m going to go now. Have a nice weekend and everything,” I said, backing away, suddenly unsure how, exactly, to form normal sentences.
“You, too, Freckles. Stay out of trouble…or try, at least.” He shot me one last grin before flipping down his visor and starting his bike.
I watched him ride away, enjoying the sight.
Yep, that was the good stuff.
I headed inside the diner, thinking how ironic his last words were. Before he’d come to town, I’d never had the slightest bit of trouble with anything. Not with my friends, not with boys or schoolwork or my parents. Now I had him, and no one had ever personified trouble like Cayden West. I couldn’t even be mad about it.
Like they said, sometimes trouble wants you. In this case, I wanted it right back.
