Goddamn her.
Goddammit. I’m not stopping. Fuck it. I can’t.
She just kept pushing and pushing, hitting all my buttons, everything she knew would bring me to this, and I wanted her to. In the back of my mind, I always knew I couldn’t not have her.
I grab her ass in my hands and drop us down to her bed. She unlocks her legs and straddles me, our lips never breaking contact. I love her mouth. Hot and sweet, and she teases me with that tongue—flicking and brushing in ways that drive me insane.
“I hated feeling like that,” she pants.
“Like what?” I run my hands all over her, gripping and squeezing as she breathes over my mouth and grinds on me, making me painfully hard.
“Jealous,” she says.
It takes me a moment to remember we were fighting about April being here. Slipping my hand up her shirt, I take her breast in my palm, and she lets out a little gasp. I groan at finally having her in my hand.
“I know,” I say. “When you left the party with that little shit tonight, I was so pissed.” I bite her bottom lip between kisses. “Like I was fucking seventeen again and someone else was taking what was mine.”
My cock swells, and God, I can’t stop touching her. She’s so damn beautiful. Her smooth skin and mussed hair. The little triangle of red fabric between her legs where I can already see she wasn’t lying about being turned on. She’s wet, and I’m fucking starved to taste her.
Another man to do my job better…. Bullshit.
I brush the hair out of her face as she grinds on me, and we hold each other’s eyes. Hers say everything I’m feeling, and we’re both falling.
Dammit.
“What do you see in me, girl?” I ask, shaking my head. I couldn’t keep a nineteen-year-old woman happy when I was nineteen. Does she think I can do it now?
“You have no idea, do you?” She cups my face, kissing me. “When we first met and we watched that movie together at the theater, I felt so guilty,” she kisses me again, “because when you mentioned the Poltergeist showing, I…I was tempted, because I wanted to see you again,” she confesses. “There was something there even then.”
I sink into her mouth, kissing her long and deep, as I wrap an arm around her body and press her into me. Curling my fingers around the silk at her hip, I feel an urge to bury myself inside her right now.
But no. To her, I’ll end up being a fling, but I’m gonna make damn sure it’s the best one she ever has.
I kiss her neck, sucking and nibbling all the way up to her chin and running my thumbs over her hard little nipples.
“Pike…” she pleads. “Please tell me you have condoms.”
I nod, coming back to her mouth. “In my room.”
“More than one, right?”
I smile. “Yeah.”
“Go get ’em.”
I wrap my arms around her and stand up, taking her with me. “I have a better idea.”
She locks her ankles behind my back, and I carry her out of her room and down the hall to mine. We need a bigger bed.
She doesn’t stop kissing me the whole time, and I almost close my eyes with the pleasure, because I don’t think I’ve ever felt this damn good. She’s going to spoil me so much that no one else will ever do again.
We enter my room, and I kick the door shut behind us, lowering her to the bed. But when I pull away from her and rise, she protests. “No…”
I back up toward the door, watching her—finally having her on my bed—and I feel like I just won the fucking lottery.
Reaching behind me, I lock the door and stare at her, the moonlight streaming through the window lighting her up. She’s sitting with her knees bent, and her hands planted behind her, propping herself up. Her lips are swollen from the kissing, and I’m already imagining her naked between my sheets.
“God, you’re so sweet,” I say under my breath.
A coy smile plays on her lips. “I’m really not.”
I arch a brow at her challenge. “So, what do you like then?”
“What do you do?”
Such a little shit.
Crossing back over to the bed, I lean down over her and fist her panties in my hand. “You said you wanted me to eat something.” I remind her. “What do you want my mouth on?”
She drops her eyes, staring at my lips. “Um…” She swallows and caresses her inner thigh, moving her hand up to the V. “Down here.”
“And what’s down there?” I play with her, staying just out of reach every time she moves in for a kiss. “Use your adult words, Jordan. What do you want me to kiss?”
“Um,” she stammers, turned on and dying for it. “Um, my…”
My…?
She comes in for my mouth again, but I pull away, making her bare her teeth in a quiet, little growl.
“My…”
“Yes?”
“My, um… my cunt,” she whispers.
My eyebrows shoot up, surprised. I wasn’t expecting that word, actually, but okay.
“I want you to kiss and suck on it,” she breathes out, begging. “Make me come?”
And I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment, my dick fighting against my jeans for room to grow.
Fuck.
Anything you want.
Tightening my hand around her panties, I yank and rip them off. The fabric tears clean away and I throw them across the room as she sucks in a breath.
And then I throw my own shirt off and dive down, taking her pretty pussy in my mouth.
“Pike,” she whimpers, clutching my head to her body and falling back on the bed.
Jesus, I’m fucking high. I’ve wanted this for so long, and I finally have her, legs spread on my bed, body begging for me.
I suck on her clit first, stretching it into my mouth and going back in again and again, making her squirm and desperate to come. I lick her up and down, swirling my tongue around over her nub and getting drunk on her scent and taste. After a minute, I lose control, though, and I’m kissing and nibbling her everywhere. I curve my arm under her thigh and grip it for support as I feed off her, doing it as much for me as her. Her back arches off the bed when I flick her with my tongue, and she moans.
I keep doing that until she’s panting so fast I know she’s ready to come apart. Palming one of her breasts, I keep my head buried between her legs until I feel her stomach start to shake and then she sucks in a deep breath and freezes as the orgasm takes hold.
She cries out, letting it go, and I tongue her, not stopping until she starts to calm.
“Jordan,” I whisper against her skin. I don’t know why I say her name, but I think I’m fucking afraid she’s not really here and this is all a dream.
Her fingers thread through my hair, and I come up, hovering over her. Brushing the stray lock off her forehead, I stare down into her, taking in her flushed cheeks and bright eyes, her little shirt that has ridden up, exposing her beautiful breasts and pert nipples.
I dip down, taking one in my mouth, sucking and dragging it out just like her clit. She whimpers, her hands coming back to wrap around the back of my neck. I switch to the other one, trailing one hand down her body and trying to take in as much of her as I can.
I know everything we’re doing is wrong, and I don’t know how I’m going to explain this to anyone, but right here—right now—I don’t want to be anywhere else. I wish I could die as happy as I am right now. In here, in the dead of night, in this dark room, behind a closed door, we don’t need to explain anything to anyone.
For just this moment, it’s ours.
I climb off the bed and stand up, unfastening my belt and opening my jeans. I reach into the bedside table and pull a condom out of the box, rising again and staring down at her. Her legs are closed, one knee slightly arched up, and her hands at her sides, fisting the comforter as she watches me.
“You sure about this?” I ask her.
She nods.
I kick off my boots and slide the rest of my clothes off, standing up straight again. Opening the package, I look down at her, but her eyes have lowered to something else, her breathing growing shallow. I feel a smile tug at the corners of my mouth, wondering how many other adult words she knows.
But I don’t get a chance to ask. She sits up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, and goes for my cock, taking it into her mouth.
I groan and gasp at the same time, her tongue wet and hot as she draws back and sucks in the tip.
“Jordan, please.” I fist the back of her hair, gently trying to pull her away. “That’ll put me over the edge, and I want you to come again.”
Pushing her back on the bed, I come down on top of her, melting into her mouth and kissing her deep. I nestle between her legs, and she bends her knees up as she runs her nails down my back.
Slipping my hand under her, I grip her ass and press our bodies together, the world spinning behind my closed eyes. Having her under me, skin on skin…my cock is so hard, I can’t take it.
This is mine.
Leaning back on my heels, I roll on the condom, never taking my eyes off her.
“I’m a little scared,” she says, worry creasing her brow.
I halt, trying not to squeeze the fist around my cock too hard.
Scared?
“What if I make too much noise?” she whispers.
And I exhale, relieved she’s not having second thoughts. I stroke my cock and come down on her again. “Pull up your shirt, Jordan,” I whisper back. “I want to see your tits when I fuck you.”
Her breath shakes and an excited smile plays on her lips, but she lifts up her shirt for me, and I dive down quickly and snatch up a nipple between my teeth again.
She gasps and spreads her legs wide, and the tip of my cock finds the wet heat of her tight cunt like a fucking magnet.
I come up, propping myself up on one arm, and lean down, nibbling her lips. “Try to be quiet, okay?” I whisper, teasing her. “Can’t have Cramer finding out what I’m doing to his babysitter?”
She laughs, kissing me back. “Yes, Mr. Lawson.”
Reaching down, I hold her eyes as I fit my tip at her entrance, and then I grab hold of her hip and thrust inside of her, immediately overcome with the feel of her and my body shaking.
She arches her neck back and closes her eyes, moaning, and her breasts bounce with the movement
“Oh, fuck, fuck…” she cries. “Pike…”
“I know, baby.” You feel so good.
I thrust again and she clutches my waist to hang on as I slowly pick up the pace, sinking deeper inside her and mesmerized by her body underneath me. I dip down, sucking on her breast as she moans and whimpers.
Coming back up, I kiss her mouth, and she does that thing where she licks my tongue, and I’m spiraling.
“Jordan, fuck,” I breathe out, thrusting faster and harder until the only thing I hear is our bodies coming together.
Her moans fill the room, growing louder, and I kiss her, muffling the noise as she comes apart again, her pussy tightening around my cock as she orgasms.
I look up and see us in the dresser mirror, turned on by the sight of her legs around me. She follows my gaze, mischief flashing in her eyes.
She leans up, whispering in my ear, “I want to see.”
I wrap my arm around her waist and flip us over, so she’s on top. Her T-shirt falls below her breasts again, and her hair tumbles around her in beautiful disarray. I grab her hips just so I can feel her body move as she takes me on. She stares down into my eyes, her hips rolling, her stomach waving, and her ass jutting in and out as she rides me.
Then she looks up, an instant curve to her lips, telling me she likes what she sees in the mirror.
“You’re so tight,” I groan.
She puts her hands on my chest and digs in, baring her teeth and breathing hard as she fucks me faster.
“Yes,” she breathes out, her eyes falling closed. “Yeah, God, please…”
I grab her ass and arch up, taking a nipple in my mouth again, sucking and tugging and then moving to the next one in a frenzy. She leans into me, never slowing her pace, and I can feel the sweat gliding down the small of her back.
I suck in air through my teeth, my muscles tensing, and I’m close. I flip her back over, hungry to be in control again, and her head falls at the side of the bed, too close to the bedside table. I grab the edge of it and whip it away, sending it toppling over, lamp and everything crashing to the floor.
She whimpers and kisses me, caught up in the madness of the moment, too.
“Don’t stop,” she pants. “Don’t stop. I’m gonna come again.”
I press my forehead to hers, both of us damn near hyperventilating as I thrust over and over again, trying to think of anything that won’t make me come, but she feels too good, and I’m too fucking lost.
“Oh, Pike,” she cries. “Right there. Yeah…”
My muscles are burning, my head is spinning, but I don’t break pace, because if I fucking die right now, this is how I want to go out.
“Ah,” she moans, her body tensing and her breathing shaking.
She falls silent and then…she throws her head back and cries out. “Oh, God!”
I kiss her hard, seeing her come again enough to send me over the edge. I thrust hard, squeezing my eyes shut and spilling, diving deep inside her again and again as the orgasm wracks through my body and exhaustion and euphoria set in at the same time.
White hot heat streams from my thighs, and my cock pulses, and everything about her is heaven. Everything feels like it’s the first time.
I come down, resting my elbows on either side of her head and smooth the hair away from her face.
She gazes up at me, her face flushed and shiny with a light layer of sweat. “You didn’t kiss her, did you?” she asks softly.
I chuckle under my breath. “And that’s what you’re thinking about right now?”
She twists her lips in embarrassment, but she presses anyway, “You didn’t, right?”
“No,” I tell her. “And she wouldn’t have spent the night. I was trying to forget about you and how much I wanted this, but it wouldn’t have happened. You were right. I wanted you.”
I kiss her, surprised that even though I’ve come, I’m not done with her. I could stay here all night.
“And that little shit from the block party?” I question her. “Nothing happened, right?”
Her faint dimples grow deeper.
“Jordan,” I warn, furrowing my brow.
She laughs. “No,” she finally answers. “He doesn’t have your body,” she gives my cheek a peck, “or your tattoos,” she kisses my jaw, “or your mouth,” she kisses my lips, “and every word that comes out of it that gets under my skin and drives me crazy in all the best ways.”
I sink into her, kissing her long and hard. The fucking damage is already done. I’ll feel guilty tomorrow.
“One thing, though,” she says, pulling her mouth off mine to leave a trail of kisses across my cheek. “I know you have work tomorrow, and probably want to get to sleep, but I’m kind of hungry. Can we get some ice cream downstairs and then do it again before bed?”
I drop my head into her shoulder, shaking with laughter.
Anything you want, baby.
I roll my neck under the hot spray, every muscle in my body tight and sore. I don’t really exercise, but I’m hardly ever sitting on my ass, so I thought I was in good shape. She shot that idea to shit last night, though. I can’t help but indulge in the fantasy of having her here every day, as many times a day as I want, just for the sake of my muscular health, of course.
But I know I can’t. We did it again last night and then crashed, and as much as I want her even more this morning, now that I know what I’ve been missing, we can’t let this become normal. It’ll be painful enough when it ends.
I shut off the water and step out of the shower, pulling my towel off the hook and drying my hair. The bathroom is dark, because I wanted to delude myself that nighttime still wasn’t over, but it’s just after five in the morning, and I have to be at work in an hour. When I see her again, it’ll be in the bright light of day, and I’ll have to face how I did something so fucking shitty last night.
I finish drying off and wrap the towel around my waist before walking to the sink and brushing my teeth. And trying not to think about the hot, young woman still asleep in my bed in the other room.
I mean, how wrong is what we’re doing? She’s single, I’m single. We’re both adults. Yeah, there’s the age difference, but it’s not unheard of.
And I fucking liked her before I knew who she was. No one else was a factor in that. We’re not trying to hurt anyone.
Stepping back into the bedroom, I look over at her in the bed. Asleep on her stomach, hugging one of my pillows under her head, and her hair fanned out behind her. She wears one of my T-shirts, and although I love her naked, I can’t complain. I love her in my clothes, too.
Walking over to her side of the bed, I pick up my watch off the bedside table—the one not toppled over on the other side—and fasten it to my wrist as I stare down at her.
We’ve known each other less than a month, but I feel like she’s always been there. Like I was saving that side of the bed just for her.
I don’t know if I love her, but I’ve never wanted anything or anyone this bad.
Her foot peeks out from the sheet, and I smile at her pink toes. So very Jordan.
She moans and turns her head, and I raise my eyes, seeing her turn over in her sleep, resting her hand on the pillow next to her face.
The sheet is down at her waist, and the shirt has ridden up, showing a sliver of her stomach, and I let instinct take over. It’s still dark outside.
The night doesn’t have to be over yet.
Peeling down the sheet, I see her hot pink panties, and I don’t mind that she doesn’t sleep naked. It means I get to undress her.
Gently pulling down her underwear, I climb over her, putting one knee between her legs and sliding her shirt up with one of my hands.
I touch her and kiss her softly, moving across her cheek to her ear and back toward her mouth.
“Good morning,” I whisper, nibbling at her.
She moans again, arching to meet my lips which are trailing down her body, tasting her stomach, her hips, and back up to her breasts.
“Isn’t it?” she says, joking.
I chuckle.
Reaching over to my nightstand, I dig out another condom and rip off my towel. “Just a quickie, okay?” I tease. “To get me through the day.”
She moans again, stretching her arms above her head. “’Kay.”
And I dive in.
Several minutes later we’re both panting and sweaty again, and I need another shower, but I don’t have time.
Fuck, that was good. Is it me or does she feel better in the morning?
I look over at the clock. “I gotta go.”
I don’t want to, though. How awful would it be if the boss calls in sick, so he can stay home and fuck his hot, little live-in all day?
Reluctantly, I climb off her and walk to my dresser, pulling out some jeans and a T-shirt. “Do you have to work tonight?” I ask.
She pulls the sheet back up over her and gazes at me sleepily. “Maybe.”
I shake my head. Always playing games.
“Maybe I’ll be home,” she explains, “or maybe you’ll have to find me.”
I close the dresser drawer and open another, grabbing socks.
I turn to her, fixing a stern look on my face. “I’ll be home at five. Be here,” I order her. And then I start to walk toward the door but turn and soften my voice, adding, “Please?”
She grins and turns on her side, hugging my pillow under her again and looking at me with the sweetest eyes. “Miss me.”
I do already.
I leave, closing the door behind me and closing her bedroom door, too. Just in case Cole comes home, sees her empty bed, and starts to wonder where she is.
Jogging down the stairs, I feel an urge to smile even as the guilt knots my stomach. I almost feel normal.
But luckier than any guy I know. The girl of my dreams is in my bed right now, and I get to come home to her, too. She was right. I have everything I need under this roof.
Except my son. This is his home, and he’s not here, and Jordan makes me forget him.
For nineteen years, it was always him. Sacrificing to build my business to be able to give him a good home and education, and either being scared of relationships after what I went through with Lindsay or losing relationships, because other women didn’t want to have to deal with the mother of my child for the rest of our lives. My life revolved around him, but no matter what I did, it all still went to shit. She twisted him up and used him against me, and he doesn’t know whom to trust.
Letting myself be happy with a woman isn’t wrong, but that woman being Jordan is what could break whatever faith he has left in his parents. Why can’t I stop? Why does my heart hurt so much every time she smiles? Or chews on her thumbnail or stands on her tiptoes to reach something in the kitchen or fucking blinks, for Christ’s sake?
I walk into the kitchen and pour coffee into my travel mug. I fasten the lid and grab my lunch out of the fridge, throwing in some extra chips, since I don’t have time for breakfast.
The doorbell suddenly rings, and I turn, scowling. Who’s showing up this time of morning?
Leaving everything on the counter, I walk to the front door and lean over, peering out the front window.
And speak of the devil…
My ex stands out there in nylon workout pants and a matching tank top. Her hair is up in a messy brown bun, but she has a full face of make-up on. She’s the only person I know who gets made-up to go to the gym.
Of course, she probably only goes to meet guys.
I pull open the door, trying to be quiet, so Jordan doesn’t stir.
“What do you want?” I say, holding open the door.
“Well, you’re nice,” she sneers, keeping her arms crossed over her chest. “Ever the asshole, huh?”
And without waiting for an invitation, she walks in, pushing past my arm.
“If you’re showing up at my door at five in the morning, it can’t be good,” I say, closing the door. “Are you drunk?”
She walks into the kitchen, tosses her keys on my counter, and spins around, facing me. “Why is my son living at some random girl’s house and not with you?”
I fight the urge to roll my eyes at her fake concern which is just an excuse to be invasive. “He’s welcome to come home any time,” I explain, heading for the stool and grabbing my T-shirt. “He’s the one who left.”
“Because you’re allowing Jordan to stay. Why?”
I pull the garment over my head. “If you want to know what’s going on with Cole, ask Cole. As for who I rent out a room to, that’s none of your business.”
I comb my fingers through my hair, having forgotten to style it. She’s quiet for a moment, and I don’t look at her as I pull my phone off the charger and stick it in my pocket.
She steps up to my side and takes my chin, forcing me to face her.
I jerk away. “What?”
“You’re flushed.”
“It’s warm out,” I retort.
But underneath my skin, my blood warms and my heart pounds harder. I pick up my coffee, taking a sip to conceal my nervousness. The woman is a shark. She can smell blood across an ocean.
“I know what you look like after you come,” she charges. “So, question is… Is it the sweet piece of teen ass upstairs or someone new?”
I slam my mug down, glaring at her. “That’s enough.”
Goddammit. I forgot how smart she is. I haven’t even left the house yet, and I can’t even get what I’m feeling by the one person I’ve run into. Awesome.
Heading over to the table, I sit down and pull on my socks and boots and gather up everything I need for the day.
“Cole quit his job at the plant,” she finally tells me. “Three days ago.”
I look up, stopping what I’m doing. Three days?
“Let me give you a tip,” she condescends. “Parenting didn’t stop when he turned eighteen and you no longer had to pay child support. He still needs you.”
“Forgive me if I don’t take parenting lessons from a woman who got pregnant so she’d have a meal ticket for the rest of her life.” I turn to her, pinning her with my stare. “Maybe he quit, so he wouldn’t have to work for nothing, since you guilt him into giving you half of his paychecks.”
She slaps me across the face, and my head jerks to the side.
But I just laugh.
Of course, I’m worried. He’s been out of work and hasn’t been home, but I’m not taking a lecture from her. She’s used him, and I’ve had enough of her bullshit.
“That’s the reason you don’t let him come work for me, isn’t it?” I ask, not backing down. “Because in exchange, I was going to pay his bills and give him a stipend to make sure you didn’t get your hands on his whole damn salary. You only care about him when he comes bearing cash.” I gather up my shit and walk for the door, yanking it open. “You know who I’m really jealous of? All the men who got away before you trapped them with a kid. I’m not sorry I had Cole, but I am sorry it was with you. Get out.”
I’m proud I kept my voice down and was able to muster some control, but I’m seething inside. She comes into my house, accusing me of being a bad parent, and then hits me. She’s not my wife and never has been. I have to put up with her, but not with everything.
She stands there, looking almost amused, and finally walks up to me. “Yes,” she says, about to leave but turns and taunts me over her shoulder, “because your house is the only area of your life you can get me out of.”
And then her eyes flash up my stairs and back to me, a sick smirk playing on her lips.
She walks out, and I remain still, everything I felt in my bedroom minutes ago completely gone. Cole is spiraling, and he needs me now more than ever.
And Lindsay knows about Jordan. She may not know anything for sure, but her suspicions will be enough.
She’ll tear Jordan apart. There’s no way I’m putting her through that.
I just wish I could’ve had her for more than seven hours.
