Excess is the living embodiment of its name. Opulence rolls from it in waves, from the vintage chandeliers on the ceiling, to the velvet walls, to the talented, half-naked dancers occupying the various podiums around the club. The ceiling is raised at least thirty feet with lavish candelabras hanging from it. The dance floor is completely packed as music blares from bass boosted speakers.
Thiago pulls me through the throng of people towards stairs that’ll take us up into the VIP area. His arm is outstretched behind him and he holds my hand firmly in his as he shoulders through the mass. I hold on for dear life, afraid of being separated in this crush. When we’ve only made it a third of the way through the crowd, he abruptly stops and turns around.
“What is it?” I ask.
His hands find my waist and he pulls me against him. “This isn’t going to work. I don’t like you being behind me. I need eyes on you.”
He folds me into his side and one arm comes vigilantly over my shoulder. Then he starts pushing through the crowd once more, using his free hand to move people out of the way.
Nestled as I am in his chest, I can feel his heart beating against my shoulder, the rhythmic thudding comforting. I sneak a thoughtful glance up at his face, at the determined look in his eye, the decisive set of his jaw.
I let my hatred of Thiego’s background and his work completely blind me to him for so long. In reality, he’s been my protector. He defends me with a fierceness that knows no bounds, like when he pulled out a gun earlier. He saves me every day, in countless ways, big and small. He always has, since we first met. He might be completely unhinged but not with me. Never with me, except in the ways I want him to be. That’s been the biggest surprise of our entire marriage.
I’m bursting at the seams to tell him how I feel, but I can’t. Not without knowing where he stands.
As we break through the other side of the crowd, Thiago feels the heat of my stare on him and looks down. “Is something wrong?” he asks, his hand on my low back as we go up the stairs.
When we get to the landing, I turn and palm his side. “No,” I say, looking up at him from beneath my lashes. “I just wanted you to know… I misjudged you when we first met. You’re not what I expected, what I thought you were.” I grin. “Well, no, you are, but you’re not that way with me. You always protect me and I… I’ve never had that before.”
He’s dressed more casually than usual in a simple black tee leading into equally dark trousers. The short sleeves of his shirt reveal his corded, tattoo-covered arms. Seeing his sinewy frame against the backdrop of this sultry club sends a pang of lust shooting straight to my pussy. It turns downright painful when those dark, gleaming eyes of his find mine and a smile tugs at his lips.
“I’d protect you with my life, amor.”
My heart pinches at his husky rasp. Thiago bends his head to find my lips, but I turn my face away. He freezes, eyes boring questioningly into the side of my face as a muscle twitches in his jaw.
There’s a mass in my throat that makes it hard to speak. “That’s a lot of effort to go to for someone insignificant.”
He straightens, his tone sharp. “Insignificant?”
“Actually, that wasn’t quite the word you used. You said you weren’t burdened by “trivial, unnecessary emotions” like caring about other people because it would make you vulnerable. That you don’t get attached.” I can hear the bitterness in my voice. “I haven’t forgotten it. It’s a good thing for me to remember.”
The words feel hollow and taste acrid on my tongue, but they have to be said. I’d be a fool to ignore what he told me, to hope that it could change.
Thiago nods slowly. Pensively. He reaches for my hand, hooking a finger with mine. I stare at where we’re joined, taking in the familiar jolt of electricity. He tips the underside of my chin and forces me to look up at him.
“Why?” he asks, eyes searching mine. “Do you want me to feel those emotions for you?”
I try tugging my hand out of his, but he squeezes tighter. “No, I–”
“Because I do,” he finishes, bringing my hand up to his mouth and pressing a soft kiss on my wrist. “I do.”
Emotion rushes to my head and makes my legs quake. Thiago pushes me backwards until we disappear into an obscured corner. His eyes shine in the dark like two beacons hypnotizing me. “And my obsession, my feelings, my constant need for you do make me vulnerable. They’re all weaknesses I can ill afford, that I should protect myself against.”
“How?”
“By letting you go.”
I flinch, unprepared for that answer. The cavernous void that cleaves itself through my stomach leaves destruction and chaos in its path.
As desperate as I once was to escape him, the thought of him discarding me now like I mean nothing is a hundred times more painful.
“You’re going to let me go?”
His nostrils flare. “No.”
My mouth dries at his harshly clipped response.
“Why not?”
A hand palms my throat and angles my head back against the wall. Golden eyes that shine in the dark stare down at me, going from my dilated pupils to my parted lips.
“I’m even more vulnerable without you.” He sounds almost frustrated by the admission. “I’m distracted. Unfocused. Elsewhere. Wondering where you are, what you’re doing, and who you’re with. Whether you think of me and if you smile when you do. I had the mattress in the guest room burned into inexistence simply because I hated the fact that you slept anywhere but with me when you first got here.” His hand tightens around my throat, his thumb rubbing against my pulse point. “I have to change everything about how I operate, how I survive, how I keep myself as invincible as possible, because now my heart walks out in the world free from my chest, wrapped in pink and looking dangerously appetizing to every single fucker in this city and if something ever happened to you I don’t know what I would do.”
My lungs empty at his declaration. At the tormented look in his eye. Then I’m standing on my toes and reaching for him, whispering, “I wouldn’t survive it if anything happened to you,” before I’m claiming his lips with mine.
It’s as close to telling him the whole truth as I can give him right now, those three little words hanging back just behind my lips.
Thiago drags me against him with rough hands on my waist, his lips opening to welcome my tongue into his mouth. He groans sultrily, heating my blood, and grips generous handfuls of my ass, pulling me against his hard cock. His hold jostles the plug inside me and I moan loudly.
A throat clears behind us.
“Sorry to interrupt, jefe. I need a word.” Thiago’s lips pull away with an audible sound and he looks over his shoulder at Marco. “The accountant called with an update.”
He curses, breathing heavily. “Let me get her settled, then we can talk.”
Thiago levels me with a sexually frustrated look that I’m sure mirrors my own. I know it must because his pupils dilate and his teeth grit in pained restraint before he looks away.
He grabs my hand and pulls me down the hallway into a large, lavish room with a private bar, multiple dancers, and couches occupied with tattooed men and women who clearly all belong to the cartel. They all stand and nod at us when we enter and walk past.
“Valentina,” Thiago calls out and a woman around my age with luscious, long brown hair stands and turns around. I recognize her instantly, even if I only caught a glimpse of her last time. She’s the woman in the gold dress. “This is Tess. Marco and I need to talk, can you look after her while I’m gone?”
Her stunning hazel eyes widen when he introduces us. “Of course I can! I’m so happy to finally meet you, Tess. I’ve heard so much about you.”
Thiago kisses my forehead and walks off, leaving me with her and no explanation of who she is to him. I watch him go unhappily, then turn back around with a sour look on my face.
“So you’re close with my husband then?”
Valentina’s eyes widen at the hostility in my tone, her gaze pinging back and forth between mine as she tries to decipher me. Eventually, she laughs, her nose scrunching up adorably. She reaches out to clasp my hand in hers and motions for me to sit next to her on a couch away from the others.
“I’m not sure how much he’s told you about me, so let me make sure there are no misunderstandings between us. I have no interest or designs on Thiago. There is nothing and will never be anything between us. He’s my adoptive brother, that’s it,” she swears. “Plus, he only has eyes for one woman these days so I wouldn’t be concerned about his attention swaying.”
He just confessed that he has feelings for me, but that doesn’t mean it’ll last forever. My father once allegedly loved my mother and look where they are now.
“All men’s attention sway eventually.”
“His won’t,” she vows. “Nothing’s been able to take his attention away from the business, and certainly not a woman. Then one day out of nowhere, he’s chasing you across Europe and forcing you to marry him. He’s yours. If you want him to be, that is.” She tilts her head cutely to the side and peers at me. “And based on this five minute conversation, I think you do. He’s the best you know, underneath all that murderous angst is the most loyal man you’ll ever meet.”
I blush, looking down at my hands. “You speak so highly of him, it’s nice to hear.”
“I grew up with him, he really is my brother. And he cared for me after…” she trails off abruptly, her eyes glassing. She blinks and looks away, shielding the sudden sheen of tears from my view. It’s my turn to squeeze her hand. I can guess what made her emotional.
“After Adriana?”
Surprise colors her features when she turns to look at me. “He’s already told you about her?”
“Yes.” In fact, he’s been telling me more and more about her since visiting my mum in the hospital. It’s like realizing we have shared trauma when it comes to the women in our lives bonded us and made him open up even further.
“Then he’s definitely never swaying,” she says, proudly adding. “You’re in this for life.”
Carefully, I say, “I hope so.”
She claps her hands happily and cheers. “So I was right! I’m thrilled to hear it.” She grabs her glass of champagne and raises it in toast to me before taking a sip. “Does he know you feel this way?”
The truth is I’ve been falling in love with Thiago from the very beginning. It didn’t happen overnight, far from it. It started with raw lust, grew to interest with distance, expanded to fondness when he made sure the fridge was stocked with my favorite ice cream, developed into deep affection when I checked the time on his phone one night and saw that his wallpaper was the hastily taken photo of our signed marriage certificate he’d snapped sitting in the back of his car, bloomed to admiration when he let me rehearse a work presentation with him for hours because I was anxious about it, swelled to adoration when he saved my life, and ballooned into limitless, unyielding love when he took care of my mum. When he checked in with her every day for a week after she came home from the hospital. When he told me punishment for touching her would be the same as the one for touching me.
“He knows I care about him. Deeply. He doesn’t know that what I feel is a little more serious than that.”
She beams. “You should tell him.”
I shake my head vigorously. “No way. We literally just talked about our feelings and he didn’t say it. He would have if he felt it. I’m not going to be the one to say it first if he’s not on the same page.”
I’m not sure why I’m spilling my guts to Valentina when she’s a perfect stranger. It’s something to do with the openness of her face, the way she holds my hand. She makes me want to confide in her. And there’s instant relief in the form of a weight lifting off my chest from letting someone in on my secret, even if I can’t tell Thiago yet.
“Anyway,” I add, waving my hand to put the topic behind us. “I’m sorry for being a bitch ten minutes ago. You understand why now. But if you’re Thiago’s sister, that makes us family so I’m hoping we can be friends. I promise you I’m usually quite nice.”
Valentina laughs delightedly, hooking her arm in mine and leaning close with a mischievous smile on her lips. “Oh, we’re absolutely going to be friends. Technically we already are because I’ve considered you my friend since you made Thiago chase after you, but I’ll give you some time to catch up to me.”
I giggle happily, relieved to have made a new friend on the other side of the cartel line. Except for a couple core people who I see every day, I haven’t really interacted with any of them. That side of Thiago’s life still remains a mystery and I know he likes to keep some separation, to not involve me. But if we’re going to have a successful future together, we can’t keep our lives separate forever.
I assume that’s why he brought me here too, as a first initiation.
“This club is amazing,” I tell her. “Have you been here before? Do you know the owner?”
“I have, plenty of times. The cartel has its own clubs and restaurants, but this is one of our regular haunts when we want to focus on pleasure, not business. And yes, I know Cillian well. I’m sure you’ll meet him at some point,” she says, before adding. “A piece of advice though – don’t stare at him for too long. His wife is insane. She’ll cut your eyes out of your head for looking.”
Before I can answer, a man appears behind her. My gaze lifts to him and just by his size alone, I deduce that he’s Callum’s brother. Valentina’s eyes widen when she sees the look on my face. She’s got an apologetic expression pasted on before she’s even turned around.
“Sorry, Kill,” she says sheepishly.
Luckily, he doesn’t seem put off by her assessment. “Don’t worry,” he grins at me, baring sharp teeth, “I promise that my wife is only as insane as I am.” That manically handsome smile tells me that’s no small amount.
I remind myself not to drink too much tonight. I might not make it out of this club if I do.
Cillian crosses his arms and stares down at me. “I’m glad you like Excess, you’re welcome anytime you want.”
“Thank you,” I answer, rising to my feet to look him in the eye. “I’m Tess, it’s nice to meet you.”
“Oh, I know who you are, Tess. I’ve heard a lot about you. Although, more from my brother than your husband. Diablo’s keeping his cards close to his chest when it comes to you.”
A warm hand wraps around my low back and Thiago pulls me easily into his side. “There’s a reason for that. Tell your brother if he talks to you about my wife a second time, I’ll make sure he won’t live long enough to do it a third.”
Cillian laughs boisterously, clapping his friend good-naturedly on the shoulder. “He mentioned you might say something along those lines.”
“Mhmm,” Thiago responds, hand moving past my hip to cup my ass. “I’ve heard the stories of how insane he was when he first met his wife. You’d think he’d know not to play games with men who feel similarly about their own.”
“Yes, Adélaïde has my brother wrapped around her little finger. Always has, even when he pretended he wasn’t interested. Always will, ” Cillian says, speaking fondly of his sister-in-law. “But you know Callum, war and chaos are his business. He can’t resist the games.”
Thiago grumbles moodily so I wrap my own arm around him and squeeze him playfully. His attention falls to me, his gaze hooding affectionately.
“Come dance with me,” I ask.
Running a finger along my jaw, he questions. “Down in the pit?”
I shrug. “Sure. Anywhere. I just want to dance with you.”
He smiles slowly. Releasing me, he pulls Cillian to the side and whispers something in his ear.
“Of course,” Cillian answers. “I’ll get that arranged for you newlyweds. Give me ten minutes.”
He disappears. Without looking away from me, Thiago calls out. “Get lost, Vale.”
“Not so fast, hermano,” she says, handing me her phone. “Put your number in. I’ll text you next week and we can get a coffee or something.”
“I’d love that,” I reply honestly, typing in my number.
She beams when I hand her phone back to her, then narrows her eyes on my husband. “Good to see you too, Thiago. Always a pleasure.”
Paying her no mind, he sits on the newly empty couch and grabs my waist, pulling me down onto his lap. I whimper when the plug jostles inside me. His hand palms my ass to keep me tightly against him.
“We’re not going dancing?” I ask with a pout.
He thumbs my lips, looking at them lustfully. “We are, but somewhere I think you’ll prefer.”
Looking down, I notice that his gold chain is twisted. My fingers curl under the metal and I tug it around his neck so the clasp is at his nape, the skull and cross hanging on his chest.
“Careful.”
Looking up, I find his head tilted back against the seat, his eyes half-lidded as they stare heatedly down at me.
“What?”
“You’re getting my cock hard.” As he says it, I feel his length throb against my ass.
“All I did was fix your chain.”
The corner of his lip pulls up in a thoughtful smile. “I have no willpower when it comes to you, so if you want to make it to the dancefloor, I suggest you stop touching me with those dainty fingers and stop grinding your ass down on my cock.”
I pout again. “Well, you’re no fun.”
Thiago laughs loudly, his belly moving against my side, and I feel my cheeks burn with pleasure at having pulled that reaction out of him. He nuzzles my neck, his lips finding the column of my throat and leaving a wet trail of kisses that make me shiver against him.
Moving up until his lips find the soft skin behind my ear, he whispers. “You’re everything I hoped you would be.”
A weightless emotion floats up into my chest. Before I can answer, a woman approaches us. “Sir? We’re ready for you now.”
Keeping his hands on my waist, Thiago helps me off his lap and stands. He takes my hand in his much larger one and follows after the woman. She takes us up a flight of stairs and down a few more darkened hallways until we reach another set of steps with an ominous looking door at the top.
Stopping by the railing she points to the door and motions for us to go up. “It’s unlocked,” she says, giving me a smile. “Enjoy.”
She disappears and I glance up at the door before looking at Thiago. “Sketchy location. Have you perhaps finally decided to kill me?” I joke.
“What a plot twist that would turn out to be.”
“Not one I’d personally be a fan of,” I quip back.
He grins, pulling at my hand to make me go first as we ascend the stairs. “Come on.”
When we reach the top, he reaches past me to turn the handle. The door opens and I gasp.
In front of me is a large rooftop with the same decorative style as the rest of Excess. I step outside, stunned by the beauty around me. Thousands of string lights hang overhead and from the sidings, making the entire space look magical. Heating lamps stand at all four corners, basking it in additional warm light and a comfortably cozy temperature despite the frigid winter air. Soft, romantic music plays in the background. It’s empty save for the two of us.
Turning, I find Thiago leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed casually, a captivated look on his face as he watches me.
“This is so beautiful,” I whisper in awe. “Why is nobody else up here?”
Pushing off the door, he comes towards me. “It’s closed until April. The staff only opened it up for us tonight.”
I look up at the tiny lights. Between the rows of strings, thousands of bright stars shine against the black night sky.
“Why?” I ask, breathless with excitement when I look back down at my husband.
Thiago takes my hand and pulls me against him, his other palm finding the curve of my waist. “‘It must be so magical to dance under the stars. I’ve never done it but it’s been on my bucket list forever.’” He quotes the line from my journal from memory still, the words as fresh in his mind as if he’d read them yesterday. His face comes down to press against mine and he whispers, “I want to be the one you cross things off your bucket list with.”
Releasing his hand, I wrap my arms around his neck instead and squeeze him against me.
“Baby,” I hum heavily, unable to say anything else.
“‘Baby’?” he groans huskily. “Don’t look any further for pet names. That’s the one I want. That’s what I want you to call me.”
“Okay, baby,” I answer and he murmurs happily. We hold each other that way, swaying slowly around the rooftop in a dance that’s more of an embrace than anything else. “This is our first dance,” I say and he lifts his head from my shoulder to look at me. “The one at the gala didn’t count since I walked off. But this one is real and it’s everything it should be.”
The words are on my lips to tell him what I feel, to confess what he should know, what I want him to know, because I’m in too deep to turn around anyway, but something tells me it’s not the right time. Not yet.
He threads our fingers together and extends his hand, using the momentum to twirl me away from him. After a second of pause, he tugs, spinning me back down his arm until I’m wrapped against his chest.
His lips search for mine and then his tongue sweeps into my mouth and he kisses me with a relentless passion that steals my remaining breath away. There’s an intimacy to the way he holds me while assertively moving his lips over mine that I’ve never felt before.
Pulling back gently, I look up into his tattooed face. For long moments, we simply stare at each other in comfortable yet charged silence. We dance for another song, then another. And another, until it’s impossible to tell where one song ends and the next begins.
The more time passes, the more he relaxes. He seems lighter than he has recently, the tension having eased from his shoulders.
“You’ve looked stressed the past couple of weeks. I haven’t wanted to pry, but is everything okay?”
An angry rumble rolls up his chest. “I don’t want to ruin the moment.”
My free hand comes up to brush the teardrop on his cheek. I press a soft kiss against his lips. “What you said about being there for the rainy days applies to me too, baby.”
He chuckles. “Touché.”
That tension from earlier returns in the way his jaw sets and his eyes darken. Whatever it is, it’s more serious than usual.
“Someone’s been attacking our shipments over the last few weeks. Based on the specific ones targeted and the frequency, it can’t be someone working independently.”
“So you mean…”
His mouth flattens into a grim line.
“There’s a mole in the da Silva cartel.”
I let him continue to guide us around the rooftop even as my stomach cramps at the thought of what that means. “Shit,” I say.
He snorts. “Shit is right.” He looks above my head, his eyes preoccupied. “And I’m pretty sure whoever it is is also stealing from me.”
I perk up. Moles and attacked shipments, I know nothing about. But finance? That’s my area of expertise.
“How do you know?”
“I don’t. But I strongly suspect it. I have since before I brought you back to London.”
“You’ve looked at the books?”
A storm rolls through his gaze. “Yeah, they’re all adding up, but it makes no sense. Some of our suppliers have reached out to me personally to say they haven’t been getting paid. Those payments to them are logged and the paperwork seems to track. I’ve been pouring over it for months but I can’t make sense of it. I need an expert to figure this out but I don’t trust anyone else to look at them, especially not the accountants since at least one of them is involved in some way.”
“Let me have a look,” I blurt impulsively.
His gaze slides down to mine, the emotion in them hard to decipher.
“I know what to look for when someone is embezzling from a company,” I continue, the words spilling out of me a mile a minute. “I’ve seen it before and I’m always on the lookout for it in our own reporting. All it takes is one person to pull this off and they can get away with it for years if they go unnoticed. But you’ve been alerted to it so the hardest part is already behind you. There are ways to catch them now. Traces and clues and digital footprints they likely left behind like breadcrumbs. I can help you, you just have to trust me.”
Thiago eyes me thoughtfully but says nothing.
Uncertainty grabs me around the throat and squeezes. I’ll be beyond embarrassed if he turns me down.
“I promise I won’t do anything with the information you share with me if that’s what you’re worried about. I can sign an NDA if you want. I just thought…” I pause, looking off to the side. “I don’t know, I just thought that I could help you.”
Seconds trickle by and then a finger tucks under my chin and turns my face back towards him. Golden eyes search mine inquisitively.
“If I give you access to the books and you help me, you’ll effectively be committing a crime.”
I nod, swallowing thickly. “I know.”
“You’ll be crossing a line and stepping into the Underworld, which you told me you hated. There’ll be no going back once it’s done.”
“I know.”
“You could be convicted as an accomplice of mine. You could go to jail.”
My eyes close. “I know!”
He nudges my chin, motioning at me to open my eyes. I do. “Then why do it?”
There’s such an easy answer to that question and it’s on the tip of my tongue, begging to be set free.
I’d do anything for the man I love.
Instead, I tell him a version of the truth.
“Because you need me and I have the skillset to help you, so I will,” I say fiercely. “Plus, I’m your wife which means I can’t be compelled to testify against you — or vice-versa — so I’m the perfect accomplice. It’s a win-win situation.”
He hums, satisfied, and bends his head, nuzzling his face against the side of mine. “You’ve come a long way these past few months, amor,” he murmurs, kissing my neck.
A contented sigh leaves my lips. “You can be very convincing,” I say breathily, cupping the side of his face to hold him against me.
“You tell no one about this.” His tone is categorical. “And if a time ever comes where the NCA comes after us, you will lie and say you never saw a single document, email, receipt, nothing. All you know is I dabbled in imports and exports. You will hide that clever brain of yours behind a very convincing dumb blonde act and you will feign ignorance, do you understand me? You leave me to rot in prison and you save yourself.”
It’s too late for me to do that, I’m too far gone.
Instead of arguing about it with him now, I curl a strand of my hair around a finger, look up at him with wide eyes and jokingly say, “Huh?”
He smirks, eyes shining with pride. “Good girl.”
“Protecting me again?” I ask.
“What did I tell you?”
A smile tugs at my lips. “With your life?”
“With my life.”
