The first thing I see when my eyes open is a white ceiling.
I don’t know why, but I guess I didn’t expect the afterlife to have ceilings. And if it did, I certainly didn’t expect them to be white. Feels a little cliché.
Plus, I was married to the devil before I died so I assumed that my stay in the afterlife would feature more of the promised fire and brimstone than these spa-like white walls.
It’s only after all those thoughts flit through my mind that I realize I can’t speak because there’s something in my throat. My lips also appear to be at least partially taped. It hurts to breathe and there’s a throbbing ache in my ribs and abdomen.
My gaze slides from the ceiling, down the equally white walls and to some nondescript furniture.
I frown.
Where am I?
Looking down as much as I can without being able to move my head, I see a tube coming out of my mouth. I’m laying in a bed with ugly, pale green bedding. Noises filter through, the steady beeping of medical machinery, and I realize I’m in a hospital.
My eyes flutter close in relief.
I didn’t die.
They fly open in a panic when I think about Thiago. Where is he? Is he okay? Is he safe?
Movement pulls my attention to the right. A doctor stands there, beaming down at me. It takes me a second to place her, but I soon recognize her from when I’d visited my mum.
“Welcome back.” She grabs my hand and squeezes it comfortingly, giving me a brilliant smile. “Your husband is going to be so pissed you woke up when he wasn’t here.” She must read the question flaring in my eyes because she adds, “He’s fine. He hasn’t left your side for a single second in the last two days, he’s even been sleeping in that chair. I finally convinced him to go shower and get changed so he’s going to kick my ass when he comes back and sees you’re awake,” she says with a laugh. “Why don’t we remove the intubation so you can talk to him when he’s back?”
I nod, thanking her with my eyes.
Five minutes later, the tube is gone and my throat is clear. It’s sore and I’m not sure I can even speak, but I try anyway.
“Thank…you,” I say and then smile. For a second there, I thought I’d never get to speak again.
“You’re very welcome. It’s good to see you again, Tess. I’m Cassie, by the way.”
I’m about to answer when I hear a choked sound of surprise. Cassie turns, revealing Thiago standing in the doorway behind her.
He looks exhausted and distraught. Like he’s been put through hell. Haunted eyes come back to life when they land on me. He lifts a hand and rubs it across his jaw, his gaze raking disbelievingly down my entire body.
“Amor,” he chokes out. “You’re awake.”
Tears immediately blur my vision and I reach for him. Cassie quietly slinks away as Thiago clears the space in two steps and grabs my face. His mouth comes down fiercely on mine and he kisses me. They’re harsh, quick kisses, one after the other, his mouth coming down time and time again like he can’t get enough of touching me.
I’m gasping for air when he pulls away.
“Never do that to me again,” he begs, pressing another kiss on my lips. “Never.”
I grab his arms, my hands roaming over his shoulders, as obsessed with feeling him as he is with touching me. Tears of relief and joy stream down my face knowing that we both made it.
“I’m okay,” I promise hoarsely. “I’m okay. What happened to Marco?”
He grabs my hand and squeezes it in his. “He’s dead. Arturo killed him. You never have to worry about him again.”
“And Adriana?”
“I’ve sent men to all major cities in Europe to look for her. We’re also keeping an eye on dark web trafficking sites to see if she pops up.” His jaw works angrily before his eyes drop back to mine and soften. “We’ll find her, I’m sure of it. We can talk about it later.”
Thiago climbs onto the bed beside me and sneaks his arm below my head. He tucks me against his chest, careful to avoid jostling my abdomen. His index comes under my chin and he tips my face up towards him.
“How are you feeling? Are you in pain?”
I shake my head. “Just a little sore.”
A heartbroken smile curls the corner of his lips upward. He strokes my cheek worshipfully with his finger.
“I thought I lost you.” His voice cracks and tears glass his eyes. Seeing my immovable husband emotional over almost losing me is painful and healing at the same time. “I thought you were going to die and that the only time you heard me tell you I loved you was when you were bleeding out in my arms.” He kisses my forehead, his lips lingering on my skin. “I’m so sorry I didn’t keep you safe, but I’m even more sorry that I didn’t tell you every day how much I love you. That it took almost losing you to make me realize how stupid I’d been in keeping my feelings close to my chest. I kept waiting for the perfect moment to tell you. I only realized when you were dying that every moment was perfect because it was us.”
“I love you so much, amor. More than I could ever convey with all the words in the English and Spanish languages. You are everything to me. I knew it before but the last fifty eight hours of agony have made that crystal clear. I will give this all up – the cartel, the money, the influence – if that’s what you want because all that matters to me is keeping you safe.” His arm tightens around me. “We could move to Colombia. I could be a farmer and you could find a way to turn our farm into a profit machine. We could have a smaller life. Any life with you will be big enough for me; all I need to be happy is you.”
My face is a mess of happy tears. When I’d lost consciousness after being shot, I’d gone towards my death at peace having heard his confession. He’d told me he loved me with a fervor and urgency that made it clear he meant every word. But hearing it again now when my life isn’t on the line, when he says it with no obligation or time limit, the words are even sweeter.
“I love you too, baby.” His eyes flutter close and his forehead comes down to rest against mine. “If you’d asked me six months ago if I’d ever say those words to you, I would have said you were out of your mind. But I mean them now, and I mean them from the bottom of my heart. Love was an afterthought in my life, something I was unlikely to experience given I was going to be in an arranged marriage, and if I did, well, “love” in my life hasn’t exactly been pretty so it wasn’t something I yearned for. But I love you in a way I never knew was possible. I didn’t know love like this even existed and I’m so lucky to be able to experience it. You’ve given me the greatest gift I could ask for. I know I judged you and your life, but you’ve proven me wrong time and time again. You’ve been the best husband and partner to me. I never want to be separated from you, not even if we have an argument.” I reach up and kiss him softly. “And you aren’t giving up your family for me. I’m not afraid of this life anymore and I refuse to let Marco change that or have any impact on us beyond today. He doesn’t get to win.”
Thiago smiles delightedly at me.
“You’re the strongest woman I know,” he says. His hand slides from my face and slowly down my body where it comes to rest on my belly. “And you’ve given me the greatest gift.”
I glance down and frown before looking back up at him.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re pregnant, amor.”
I gasp and my hand flies to my mouth in shock. Fresh tears pool in my eyes. I’m a mess.
“What?” I ask, voice quivering.
He nods, a euphoric smile lighting up his face.
“You’re pregnant,” he confirms. “The doctors discovered it when they were running tests. Thankfully, the bullet didn’t go anywhere near your uterus, so the baby wasn’t harmed. You’re only about one month along so they thought you might not even know.”
“I– I didn’t,” I stutter. “I would have told you if I knew. I can’t believe it. Did… I mean, are you happy about it?”
“Happy? I’m ecstatic. I’ve been wanting to get you pregnant since the first time I fucked you, remember?”
He bends his head and drops a lingering kiss on my belly.
“I thought you were kidding.”
“No, amor,” he replies, coming back to a seated position and wrapping his other arm around me. “I’ve always known it was you. Since that very first day.”
I run my fingers lovingly through his hair. “I’m sorry it took me a while to catch up.”
“Don’t be.” He presses his forehead against mine and breathes his next words contentedly. “You were worth the wait, amor.”
