“What was that???” I yell as soon as we’re alone in the car.
The party was pretty much over for me as soon as Darius dropped the bomb on everyone about our sleeping arrangement.
“He was getting on my nerve,” he says.
“Getting on your nerve? Who? Mason? Arrgghh! You have no right to tell everyone that we’re sharing a bed. No right at all! We’re supposed to be friends. Like friend friends! In case you haven’t noticed, friends don’t sleep together. Normally. Why did you go and tell them that?
You’re supposed to be my wingman! You’re scaring all the men away! Wingmen don’t do that!!!!” I stop for a second, out of breath, but I’m not done yet.
He just sits back and watches me having my tantrum. He’s watching me yelling like a crazy woman. His expression is totally bland. Unreadable. The way he’s sitting there though, he looks so relaxed, so sure and satisfied with himself and that pisses me off even more.
“You’re overbearing, obnoxious…you…you…you’re impossible!!! I’m so pissed! So pissed!
Nobody believes we’re just friends now. I can’t even…They said….I tried to…I said…did you…? Nobody…..What??? Ugghh!!!!” I’m just so pissed off I’m sputtering all over the place. I can’t even finish a darn sentence. “Don’t go telling people we’ve slept together!”
“Isn’t that true, though?” he says with a smirk after a beat.
Huh??? “Well….yeah, but you made it sound like…like…”
“Like we’re having sex together every night?”
“Yes!” I hiss at him, feeling my stomach dips at the way he’s saying it.
“At least that got the stupid boy off your back. He was acting like you two were together. It’s grating on my nerves.”
“And you’re not? You’re acting like a possessive barbarian…all caveman-like. Well, I’m a free woman. I don’t belong to anybody,” I announce.
That triggers something in his eyes. He opens his mouth to say something, but then he closes it again. He starts the engine and turns to look at the road. His jaw is set in a stubborn line as he maneuvers the car out of the street full of party goers.
“Mason can act like I’m his wife, it’s none of your business. Why did it bother you anyway?”
“It just did. I don’t like it okay?” He’s scowling fiercely at the truck in front of us.
“Well….” His words throw me off balance for a little while. I didn’t expect him to say like that.
It almost sounded like he’s about to throw a tantrum himself. “Well…it shouldn’t. I can do whatever I want. I can be with Mason if I want to. It’s really none of your concern. You….you can go and be all possessive over Polina” I add for a good measure. Gosh, it still hurts just to say that. Don’t you forget that, Penny!
“I can?” he asks through gritted teeth, his eyes narrowing as he stares out the windshield.
“Yes!” I snap. I want to kick and scream and punch him still. I want to claw at his perfect face and body. I want to do damage. I remember so many nights that I wanted to yell at him, love me!!! Pick me! Why can’t you love me?
Tears pricked in my eyes. I blink rapidly to make it go away. It’s over now…or it should be over now. He made his choice.
There’s a muscle ticking in his jaw. His knuckles are turning white around the steering wheel. He doesn’t say anything, nor does he turn to look at me.
The air is thick with tension between the two of us within the little confinement of the car. We both stay quiet the whole way home which doesn’t take long at all with the way that he’s driving.
Arrgghh!!!! I am so pissed! So pissed! It’s hours after we got home and I’m still pissed.
He’s not sleeping with me tonight. I don’t care if Freddy Krueger himself appears in his dream and tears him to pieces. That would serve him right. I locked my bedroom door, the balcony doors, and even all the windows.
How dare him tell everybody that we sleep together. When I tried to explain, I just made things worse. The more I explained, the worse it sounded. It sounded like I was making up some lame excuses to be sleeping with my “friend”. I gave up. Now everybody thought that we sleep together. I mean, we did sleep together, but not like sleep sleep together. Gah!!!!
Nobody even believed we’re just friends with benefits either. This is so screwing up my chances with other guys. Not that I have much interest in other guys….and that’s all his fault too.
I pound on my pillow, careful not to break it. That’s not very satisfying. That’s it, the resolution is off! It’s so off like wearing socks with sandals…or is that in style now?
My resolution didn’t even last a week. That’s just pathetic. It’s too painful to admit. It’s shameful.
Now I can go back to planning his murder. Only he can inspire this need and craving for violence in me.
I scowl at the ceiling moodily, then glare at the digital clock on the bedside table. It’s almost three in the morning. That means I’ve been lying here planning Darius’s demise for almost two hours now. I need some fresh air before I break something.
I open the balcony door and the wind from the ocean rushes in. Fresh air and saltiness of the sea.
The sound of the waves crashing the shore. I’ve come to love these things now. I’m going to miss this when it’s time to move on.
As I step further onto the balcony, I notice that Darius’s balcony door is wide open. I gingerly walk to the far side of my own balcony, closer to his room and peek inside. I’m just curious, I swear. I’m not thinking of ways to murder him in his sleep. Well, not unless he’s sound asleep.
It’s all his fault that I can’t sleep. So, it wouldn’t be fair if he’s able to sleep soundly and I’m here on the balcony peeking into his room like a thief because I can’t sleep. If he’s sound asleep I have a logical and legitimate reason to kill him.
There’s no movement in his room. I climb onto his balcony and poke my head through the door.
A floor lamp at the far corner is on, bathing the room in its warm glow of light. His room is neat, his bed is perfectly made like he hadn’t even been in it yet tonight.
I climb over the balustrade, peel my pajama top off and jump from the balcony into the pool.
I woke up alone and I’m in a pissy mood this morning. The few lapses I did in the pool didn’t help. To top it off, I couldn’t find my pajama top. I found out that poking around in only your pajama bottom at four in the morning, looking for your top doesn’t help to improve your mood. I toss and turn all night after that. I can’t sleep not because he wasn’t there with me. Nope, that’s not it. Not at all. It’s because I was still pissed with him. I sit at the breakfast table, scowling at the steaming coffee in my cow mug.
Everybody is at the table except for Darius. Where is he? I’m all dressed up this morning and ready for battle. I was expecting him to be here by now..but he’s not. There, right there he’s pissing me off even more. Darn the guy!
“Well, somebody is in a good mood this morning,” teases Genesis.
“I guess she’s back being herself again,” announces Caspian happily.
“I don’t know if I should be relieved or scared,” says Constantine.
“Probably both,” observes Lazarus.
Great, now they’re talking about me like I wasn’t in the room.
“Come on guys, leave her alone,” says Serena, but she sounds like she’s on the verge of laughing.
“By the way, those are interesting…uh..mosquito bites you have on your neck,” announces Caspian casually, touching his own neck. This brings everybody’s attention to my neck. “Just where is Darius this morning?”
The devil! I scowl at him while pulling the collar of my denim jacket up higher. I noticed the hickeys I got from Darius last night when I was getting ready this morning. That’s the reason why I’m keeping my hair down and I’m wearing a high collared denim jacket on an 86-degree Fahrenheit day.
I wanted to cover it with a concealer, only I don’t have one. I never needed a concealer for my skin. I don’t think Genesis and Serena have one either. Besides, they would be suspicious if I asked to borrow a concealer.
Thanks to Caspian, though, now everybody seems to know my business. The mischievous smile on his face makes me want to chuck my cow mug full of steaming hot coffee at his face.
“Just where did you guys go to get mosquito bites?” asks Caspian, still unwilling to drop the subject. Seriously???
Genesis snorts into her coffee and splutters her drink everywhere, coughing wildly. Constantine and Serena slap her back while Eva stares at Genesis with concern. Caspian drops his head onto the table with a thud, his wide shoulders shaking violently.
That’s it! I kick his shin underneath the table.
Darius did come home just before 11 am. I stayed in my room to study. Nope, I wasn’t hiding from him. I just happen to like studying. So much.
I could hear him moving about in his room. I could hear the shower going. I could hear him getting ready. I heard that he has some business to attend to with Eva this afternoon. It’s not like I was listening or anything.
Stop thinking about him. Stop thinking about him. Stop thinking about him.
Suddenly there’s a soft knock on my bedroom door.
I open the door to find Darius standing there looking hot as hell. His light blond hair is slicked back and still damp from the shower. The light blue button up shirt matches his eyes.
I can only stare up at him as he stares down at me, drinking in my features like he’s thirsty. Why does he always have to look at me with that intensity that makes my heart stops before it bursts into a frenzy in my chest? He makes my stomach clenches in the most delicious ways. The thrill just having him look at me this way is crazy. It’s addicting. That’s what kept me going back for three years.
He lifts up his hand and I almost cover my face in embarrassment.
Right there in his hand is my white pajama top that decided to hide and disappear from me last night. Stupid top!
His eyes dance with amusement and his eyebrows rise up in question.
I answer him by grabbing my stupid runaway top from his hand and close the door in his face.
I hear him leaving the house with Eva ten minutes later. No, I’m not listening.
Stop thinking about him. Stop thinking about him. Stop thinking about him.
That’s it! I’m going out…somewhere. I don’t know where yet, but I’ll think of somewhere.
I drove around aimlessly in Caspian’s Spyder Eclipse for about twenty minutes before I find myself sitting on a familiar bench in front of the little lake on campus. My lake. Not many students are about on a Saturday afternoon.
It’s another beautiful day. There are two guys on a red kayak passing through near the other side of the river bank. That’s nice. Maybe I should do that one day. I’ve been sitting here for 20
minutes when I hear footsteps behind me.
Yummy Lip ring!!!
As usual, he doesn’t look particularly happy to see me, but I don’t really care. I’m happy to see him.
“What? Do you live here or something?” I ask him.
“Do you?” he asks back. Good point.
I make room and he lowers himself next to me. We just sit there quietly looking at the lake.
There’s no need for conversation. Yummy lip ring hates small talk.
My thoughts drift back to Darius, as it inevitably does. Always. Me and Darius. We’re very messed up. If I was honest with myself, we can never be just friends. I don’t know what we are.
I’m so confused where he is concerned. Just like this morning, first I want to battle with him, then I want to hide from him. He’s turning me into a crazy woman.
For three years, I convinced myself that I had a chance with him. I analyzed his every movement and his every word. I tried to interpret every look he spared my way, which was a lot, and convinced myself that he felt the same. I mean, you would think a guy wanted you when he seemed like he can’t take his eyes off of you, watching you like a hawk. You would think that he’s attracted at least when he seemed to know exactly where you were in a roomful of people no matter where you roamed and moved to. You would think he must have felt something when he’s all protective, assigning his men to keep an eye on you when he’s not around whenever you’re in Russia. You would think he cared even a little bit when he couldn’t stand it when someone uttered even a single word that he thought could hurt your feelings.
For a second last night, I almost did the same thing again. Overanalyzing. I was almost convinced that he was jealous. Hah!!!
Okay, enough thinking. I hate thinking when it doesn’t get me anywhere. I do that a lot, unfortunately.
“Yummy lip ring?”
He turns to look at me with a raised eyebrow. Looking a bit annoyed as if I had just disturbed him doing some major thinking.
“How many piercings have you got?”
“Five,” he answers, leaning back against the back of the bench.
I study his face and count his piercings there. A stretch lob on each ear, a barbell on his left eyebrow, one yummy lip ring. My mouth drops open when I counted only four. My brain is busy thinking of the possibilities. Now, where could the fifth be?
“I can hear your brain thinking,” he says.
I grin and says, “can I see the fifth piercing?”
His eyebrow comes up again. “You don’t even know where it is, but you want to see it?”
“Sure, why not?” I’m very intrigued.
He stands up and begins to unbutton and unzip his pants.
“Whoa!!! What are you doing?” I jump up from the bench.
“Show you my piercing,” he says nonchalantly shrugging his pants off.
Wow! Seriously??? Cool!!!
“Still sure you want to see it? If you’re too intimidated, I’ll understand,” he says challengingly.
“What do you mean change my mind? Let’s see it!” I exclaim. This is too good! He’s got the Prince Albert?
He shrugs and pulls his boxer down.
No, an apadravya! A shiny barbell goes vertically through the head of his cock, from the front to the back. Wow! Hmmm…He’s got a pretty big pierced one-eyed snake of love right there.
Yikes! Did I really just think that?
“Okay?” he asks, shrugging his pants back on.
I have a lot to say, but all I allow myself to say is, “All I can say is, your mate is very lucky.”
That earns me a smile. A fucking smile! Finally!
“I’m twenty-seven. Don’t know if I’ll ever find a mate,” he says matter of factly.
“Oh, you will,” I tell him confidently and with conviction. “Promise me you won’t reject her and to always treat her right? Promise me you’ll have babies live happily ever after with her?”
Something flashes in his eyes. His eyes soften. It’s gone too quickly for me to understand what it is.
“Maybe, if I ever found her,” he doesn’t sound convinced. “If I promise you that, would you promise me that you’ll never come back here by yourself again?”
“Never come back here? Here as to this lake?” I ask him feeling puzzled. “Why?”
“Just promise me to stay away from here.”
He sounds so serious. It sorta scared me a bit.
“You know you’re really low on self-preservation?” He shakes his head disapprovingly. “A smarter girl would be scared of being alone with a stranger with his pants down in a secluded area like this.”
“Are you trying to freak me out? Why shouldn’t I come here again?” I chose to ignore his comment about me not being smart. I know I’m stupid. Eh…nothing new there.
“You ask too many questions. Curiosity kills the cat…sometimes little girls too,” he says, getting up.
What’s up with men and their cryptic comments? First Darius, then Yummy lips ring…”Are you going now? Will I see you again?”
“Again, too many questions, little girl,” he says, walking away. “Remember your promise.”
“I didn’t promise anything,” I mumble in protest. “Hey! What’s your real name?” I yell suddenly, but he’s already gone.
Lily texted me about another party at Daniel’s frat house tonight. She forgot to mention what the theme is for tonight, but I don’t really care.
I’m going without Darius ruining it for me. I’m sneaking out. I’m feeling like a schoolgirl sneaking out without her parents’ permission. Like I’m doing something bad. It makes me smile a big gleeful smile. It gives me the thrill. I’m not a bad girl, but I’m not a good girl either. I’m just me. Persephone Aspen Ruiz.
I put my hair up into messy double buns with french braids at the back. I have my low waist denim shorts with a wide red belt and a crop top on. The top is short so I can see my belly button.
I’m seriously thinking about getting my belly button pierced as I remember Yummy lip ring’s piercings this afternoon.
My crop top is the same color as my belt. Red. I don’t usually wear red, but I’m feeling rebellious tonight. Red seems like the color for it. I also have a pair of converse on because I’m jumping out of the window and walking all the way to the pizzeria on the main road where I have a cab waiting for me.
I jump out of one of the side windows and my feet land on the soft grass below without making much noise. I stay low and quiet for a minute just in case they heard it. I try to calm my heartbeat. This is giving me a rush. I suppress a giggle. Lycans have a crazy super hearing, I’m not risking getting caught this early in the game.
I know all of them are in the great room where Serena is playing the violin. Paganini, Caprice 24
is drifting softly through the air. I crouch low and crawl on all fours past the big window. I feel like a super secret agent or something right now. I’m such a badass!
I let out a big breath and a giggle when I finally reach the pizzeria and spot my ride to the party tonight. Made it!!!! I just got past a houseful of lycans! Yeah! I’m awesome!!! Super awesome! I did a crazy happy dance and catch the cab driver looking at me worriedly through the side mirror. I jump into the cab quickly before he decides to drive off without me.
Party time! Yeah!!! This time I’m going to enjoy myself without worrying about some hoes plastering themselves onto a certain gorgeous lycan that I have no right to feel possessive about.
