When lunch rolled around, I made my way to the bleachers like my shoes were on fire, eager to see Ethan. I hadn’t seen Fox all morning, but I wasn’t surprised. I never tended to. Something about that bummed me out. We’d had a good time together recently. Maybe if we ran into each other, he’d at least talk to me more or something.
“Hey,” Ethan greeted me, opening his arms wide as I approached.
“How did you get here so fast?” I asked, falling into his hold.
He gave me a long squeeze before pulling away. “I left class early. As far as Collins knows, I’m still in the bathroom.”
“Rebel,” I teased with a laugh as we moved to sit on the bleachers.
“I brought lunch,” Ethan said, pulling a sub from his bag and offering me half. “Hope you like turkey.”
“I do.” I grinned, taking the sandwich from him and biting into it.
He did the same with his half, and we sat eating in silence for a moment.
“How have you been?” Ethan asked.
“Everything seems crazy right now,” I admitted. “And after the weekend, I feel… different.”
Ethan swallowed his bite of sandwich and nodded. “Heard it was a hell of a time.”
“It really was.”
“I’m sorry I missed it.”
Feeling brave, I reached out and rested my hand high on his thigh.
“For what it’s worth, so am I.”
He smiled at me, his eyes twinkling. “We’ll get our moment. No worries, sweetheart. Then the four of us can be together.”
I let out a soft laugh. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
“It’s strange, huh?”
“Yeah,” I admitted softly. “But I like it.”
“That makes me happy. You have no idea how long we’ve all wanted this.”
“How did it even happen?” I asked. “That you guys decided you wanted to do something like this?”
Ethan shrugged. “I don’t know. We were just hanging out one day, and Enzo started talking about it. It sounded fun. We decided it might be cool to try out. We did it a few times with some girls. Not all of us together. Just two of us. Couldn’t progress past that. Seemed to scare women away, honestly.”
I nodded. I could see that. Hell, it had scared me.
“We’ve been looking for our unicorn, I guess,” he finished. “We had our eye on you for a long time. We just needed to get Fox on board with it.”
I bit my bottom lip and asked the question that was burning up in my mind. “What’s up with him? Why did you need to talk him into doing this with me?”
“Aside from your history together?” Ethan asked.
I nodded.
Sadness darkened Ethan’s eyes. “He hated you.”
It felt like a lead brick had fallen into my belly.
“Don’t think what you’re thinking,” Ethan said out softly, taking my hand in his. “He doesn’t hate you now.”
“But why would he ever hate me? We were best friends since we were in diapers. One minute we were everything to one another then nothing. It was like he died when his mom did.”
Ethan sighed and looked out to the empty football field.
“He blames you for his mom’s death.”
His words were like a hammer to my skull. They rocked me, making me choke on my next breath.
“W-what? How? Why?”
“Sweetheart, it’s not my place to say. I’ve already said too much.”
“Oh, no you don’t, Ethan Masters. You don’t hit me with that and then go silent on me. If you know something, tell me. Please. Fox has been mean to me. Then over the weekend, something changed. He was sweet again. Then today, nothing. While he hasn’t said anything awful to me, it’s the silence that’s bothering me. Especially a-after what we did.”
Ethan’s gaze swept over my face, his brows crinkled.
“He’s torn between caring too much and not enough. I know it seems impossible to believe, but he does care about you.”
I nodded, swallowing hard.
“He does, Rosalie. He just needs to deal with his own demons.”
“I don’t understand why he would blame me for Amy dying,” I murmured. “We were at Fox’s house. I-I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was a Friday night. Amy made dinner. Lasagna. My parents weren’t home, so I ate dinner with Fox’s family. We holed up in Fox’s room and watched scary movies.” I frowned as a memory surfaced.
“What is it?” Ethan pressed gently, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
“Amy came up to Fox’s room when he went downstairs to grab us more soda. I-I talked to her. She asked me how school was going. It was just normal conversation. Then I told her about these earrings I saw and fell in love with, but my parents wouldn’t let me get my ears pierced. They were the last pair left. Tiny silver flowers with a small red gem in the center. My birthday was coming, and I told her it was the only thing I wanted.”
Ethan squeezed my hand as I swiped at more tears.
“She left after that. Told us she wanted to run some errands before the stores closed. She never came home,” my voice cracked. “I loved Amy like a mom. She was wonderful. My heart shattered that night when the cops came to the house. I’ll never forget it.”
Ethan wrapped his arms around me as I wept. I’d spent years pushing the memory of that night away. The look on Fox’s face. How he’d fallen to his knees and cried, wails of torment falling from his lips. I’d never seen him cry before. How Kurt tried to hold him. How I did. How he clung to me and begged me not to go.
And days later, he proclaimed his hatred of me.
“I didn’t know his mom, but I know Fox. He needs you, Rosalie. Since you’ve been in our lives, he’s happier, even if he doesn’t look like he is. It’s just a lot for him to deal with.”
“I hope he’s happier,” I said in a shaky voice. “I don’t want him to hate me.”
“He doesn’t. I know he doesn’t. He’s just confused right now. Give him time. He’s come so far already.”
I nodded sadly, unable to shake the questions in my mind. How was Amy’s death my fault? Why did he blame me?
“Do you hate him?” Ethan asked softly.
“No. I… as much as I would’ve liked to, Fox is impossible to hate. Even when I try.”
Ethan smiled at me and pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of my lips. “This is going to work. Believe me?”
“Yes,” I whispered. Because the alternative would break my heart.
