My lungs stop functioning, my entire being pausing as if time has stopped. Nikolai Petrov, the boy I fell for years ago, is kissing me, holding me like I’m the last thing on earth that will keep him tethered to the world.
His tongue probes my lips, and with a sigh, I open them, unable to deny him entry. He tastes like dark shadows, the kind that hides you from the monsters and keeps you safe when the world around you burns. I tighten my grip on his soft suit jacket, pulling him closer as he consumes me.
A sexy groan leaves his throat, his kiss deepening until I’m lost in all things Nikolai. All I can feel is him as he presses his hard body against mine, forcing me to start moving backwards and towards my bed.
My heart races so fast that it threatens to pound right out of my chest, and I freeze when the back of my knees hits the soft mattress. This is wrong. My first time shouldn’t be because I’ve been sold to the bloody Russians like a piece of property. Though a part of me revels in the fact it’s with Nikolai, it’s a mindfuck to have the man I would have chosen be forced upon me.
“Trust me, Solnishka,” he murmurs against my lips, his voice fifty shades of husky that has dampness slicking that place between my thighs.
“I’m scared, Nikolai,” I confess softly, my hands trembling as they refuse to let go of his jacket. He places a soft kiss against my lips before stepping back a little, just enough so that I can take a full breath. It’s not that I don’t want Nikolai, shit, part of the reason I’m still a virgin is because of the man standing in front of me. No other guy seemed to compare, all of them falling short when I thought back to my childhood friend. “It’s just, so fucking messed up, Nikolai,” I murmur, a lump forming in my throat. “This isn’t the way it should be. The way I wanted my first time to go.”
“I know.” He sighs, the skin around his eyes bunching. “But life doesn’t often go the way we want it to, Dorogoi, and we have to play the hand we’re given. We’ll go slow, okay?” he assures me, looking deep into my eyes, his own soft and calming.
Taking a deep breath, I nod and he takes my hands in his, peeling my fingers off his jacket. Then he takes another step back, shrugging out of the garment, letting it hit the plush Persian rug.
“What are you doing?” I ask in a breathy voice as he loosens his tie, sliding it from his collar and then doing something with his hands that creates a double loop before tossing it on the bed. My eyes widen when he takes what looks like a flip knife from his pocket and throws that on the bed too. It lands with a soft thud, and I spin my gaze back to him, transfixed as he pops open each button on his shirt.
“Getting comfortable, Solnishko.” He smirks, and the way his lips tilt up into a mischievous grin does things to me that shouldn’t be spoken about.
I can’t look away as his inked-up hands undo the final button, revealing an equally ink-covered torso. He slides the shirt off, letting it fall in a heap, and lets me look for a moment. My breath catches in my chest as I trace all the furrows and ridges of his beautiful body, the patches of ink making me curious as to why he chose that artwork. I think there are words in Russian, a tally on his neck, what looks like Russian cathedrals and a machine gun with a crow, a skull with a cigar, plus so much other artwork I can’t keep track of. I wonder if it has any meaning. It’s almost crude in its simplicity, but the only colour other than black and grey is red, and the startling pictures all feel dark and a little macabre.
My stare darts down to his dark happy trail when his hands go to his belt, my breaths rasping past my lips as he undoes that with a clink, then pops the button and finally lowers the zipper. He pushes them down his hips, and when he straightens up, a squeak leaves my throat.
“That’s not fitting inside me, Nikolai,” I tell him, my gaze fixated on the very large bulge in his black boxer briefs. “Nope, you’ll rip me in half if that goes anywhere near Evangeline.”
His bark of laughter has my wide-eyed stare darting up to his handsome face, his eyes crinkled in amusement.
“Evangeline?” he questions, one black brow raised as he toes out of his shoes, pulls his socks off, then steps towards me. “You named your pussy, Evangeline?”
I cross my arms over my chest, narrowing my gaze at him. “Don’t laugh at her.”
A mock-serious look comes over his face as he steps back into my personal space, his fucking monster poking me in my lower stomach.
“Oh, I have the utmost respect for Evangeline,” he purrs, his hands coming up and uncrossing my arms. I’d like to say I put up a fight…but that would be a bald-faced lie. Grasping the lapels of my wool jacket, he pushes it off my shoulders, taking it off me and letting it drop to the floor. “And to answer your earlier statement, Kotenok, I’ll make it fit and Evangeline will be weeping for me soon enough.”
I shiver as he slides my oversized cardigan off, taking my tiered gypsy dress in his hands. “Lift.” It’s a command, one that my body follows without thought as my arms lift and he pulls the dress off, tossing it to the side. “Suka, Malyshka,” he hisses, his eyes burning a path across my body, just clad in peach lace and my brown ankle-high boots.
His tongue darts across his lower lip, the move sending heat sizzling across my nerves until I feel as though I’m on fire.
“What do they all mean? The names you keep calling me?” I whisper, needing to break the tension that his hot stare is creating.
His fingers alight on my waist, the touch on my bare skin leaving me gasping and my fingers twitching, but I stop myself from touching him yet, just letting him touch me.
“Malyshka means baby girl, suka means fuck,” he says, his voice the softest caress as his fingers trail a path up towards my breast. My nipples pebble, fire racing across my skin at the touch. “Solnishka is a sunflower, Solnishko is sun,” he continues, his fingers brushing the underside of my breast as a breath stutters out of me. “Dorogoi means darling.” His fingers trace over the swell of my breast, teasing my nipple, and I sway towards him, needing more. “And Kotenok is a kitten.”
“I like that one,” I breathe out, barely able to form a coherent thought as his other hand moves to my back and undoes the clasp.
“I know.” He smirks as the lace falls from my chest. “You are so fucking beautiful, Kotenok.”
He drops to his knees, a rasping breath falling from my lips when his tongue darts out, taking my nipple in his hot mouth and sending a bolt of electricity shooting to my core. My hands fall to the top of his head, tangling in his hair and messing it seven ways till Sunday as he lavishes my breasts with the kind of attention that one might show a favourite dessert.
A low moan fills the room when his lips dip lower, his palms gliding to the top of my lace knickers and pulling them down over my hips. I watch as he stops at my ankles, unzipping one boot and helping it off my foot, pausing when he catches sight of my socks to read the text aloud.
“‘Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn, then always be a unicorn.’ I’d forgotten how much you like, what do you call them?” He glances up at me, his plush lips tipped up in a devastatingly soft smile.
“Uh…” Blinking, I try to clear the lust haze from my mind. “Fun socks?”
“Yes, fun socks.” He chuckles, helping me out of my sock, then moving to the other foot and doing the same before tugging my knickers off until I’m completely naked.
A flush creeps up my skin as he continues to kneel, his gaze fixed on my damp pussy.
“Nikolai?” I question as he continues to stare, his chest heaving.
“Just admiring what is mine, Malyshka,” he rasps, and sweet baby Jesus, that shouldn’t be as hot as it is. Who knew I’d like possessive Nikolai? He leans in, so close that I can’t see his face as he takes a huge inhale, heat making my body bloom hot when a deep growl fills the room. “This sweet pussy is mine, Iris.”
Then he licks a long line up my slit, and my mouth drops open, my fingers gripping his soft hair as he grabs one of my legs, slinging it over his shoulder so he can get deeper.
“Nik!” I gasp, his tongue delving between my slick folds and utterly destroying me as the most obscene noises fill the room. The sucking as he eats me out, the grunts of appreciation that rumble from his chest, and my panting breaths and quiet moans create a symphony of pleasure that I have never experienced before. No one has ever had their tongue in Evangeline before, and Jesus, if I’d known how good it felt, maybe I should have sought it out. Though a part of me wonders if part of how amazing it feels is because it’s Nik doing the eating.
“Don’t hold back, Kotenok. Let them hear who owns this sweet cunt,” he orders, his hot breath against my most intimate of places, adding another sensation that pushes me closer to an edge that I’ve not even reached with my own toys and fingers. I’ve given myself orgasms, but nothing like this. This threatens to undo me in the most delicious way.
“Nik, please…” I moan, not even sure what I’m asking of him but knowing that I need more.
He hisses something in Russian, then he’s pushing two fingers inside me and I’m exploding, wetness coating my thighs as I scream his name. I climax harder than I ever have before, my entire body going rigid as waves of ecstasy flood my very being, and I swear I’m practically strangling him with my leg, it’s clamped so tightly around his face.
Blinking my eyes open several moments later, I find him standing in front of me, his lips and chin glistening with my release, his hands grasping mine and steadying me as I sway a little. A blush makes my cheeks burn, but he just smiles, reaching out to trace my lips with his damp fingers. My tongue comes out, my own musky taste bursting on my taste buds as I lick the tips of his fingers.
His eyes go molten, his nostrils flaring as a shuddered breath makes his chest rise and fall rapidly.
“On the bed, Solnishka,” he commands, and I shiver, my nipples hardening even more as I do as he says, sitting down on the bed, then scooting back.
A part of me knows that this is crazy, that this situation is so far from normal it’s laughable, or would be if it wasn’t so fucked up. But Nik is someone I’ve wanted for years, who I’ve dreamed about and made myself come over ever since I knew what it was I was doing. He’s exactly who I wanted my first time to be with and who I know in my soul I was saving myself for, foolish as it may have been.
In life, we can fight against the inevitable, we can rage and exhaust ourselves against things beyond our control, or we can accept what fate has given us. We can grab the gifts that she throws our way with both hands, regardless of the circumstances, and Nik is my gift in this fucked up situation.
The duvet has been folded and placed on my small chaise, only the white, pristine sheets and pillows left on the bed. I guess they need proof of my virginity, and red really does stand out on white. Shaking my head from the very fucked up nature of this, I focus back on the man who is stripping before me, my pleasure still glistening on his lips.
My chest heaves with my panted breaths, butterflies swirling in my stomach as I watch him slide his boxers down his thick thighs. I swallow hard when his hard cock juts out, thick and long, but my brows furrow when something glints at the tip.
“Is that…a piercing?” I ask, the last word more of a squeak as my thighs immediately close as if refusing him entry. His smile should be illegal as he stares at me, hunger in his dark eyes.
“You’ll enjoy it, I promise,” he purrs, bending down and pulling a small bottle out of his jacket pocket. My brows shoot up as he pops open the cap, squirting a large dollop of clear liquid into his palm, then slicking it over his hard length.
“You always keep lube on you?” I sass, trying to diffuse some of the tension that has my muscles coiled, even after that amazing orgasm.
“Just for you, Solnishko.” He kneels on the bed, his hand squeezing his impressive cock. “You have an IUD, a coil, yes?”
“How the fuck did you know that?” I rasp as he crawls on his knees, taking his hand off himself and gently using both of them to pry my knees apart. My heart feels like it’s going to beat right out of my chest, my palms sweating as I allow him to separate my legs.
“I know everything about you, Kotenok,” he murmurs, forcing me flat on my back when he hovers over me, his arms either side of my head. The blistering heat from his body warms mine, easing my shivers a little. “I’m clean, and I don’t want anything between us, so I’m not wearing a condom.” My mouth parts but he dips down to silence me, his pierced tip nudging my entrance. My legs automatically come to wrap around his waist, the position not uncomfortable even if it is new for me.
“Nik—” I gasp as he pushes inside me, just his tip. It’s so overwhelming. I feel so fucking full already I’ve no idea how he’ll get the rest inside.
“Breathe, Solinishko,” he whispers, kissing my face all over, one of his hands cradling my cheek as he holds still, letting me adjust to the feel of his intrusion. “That’s it, Malyshka, let me in.”
I do as he commands, breathing in a slow inhale that gets punched out of me in a sharp cry as he thrusts his hips forward. Tears blur my vision at the sudden pain deep inside me, leaving me breathless and quivering, wrapping around him more as if that’ll help ease the ache.
“Shhhh, Dorogoi, I’m sorry that hurt,” he soothes, kissing the tears from my cheeks, his body pressed tightly against mine. “Give it a moment, the pain will pass. You’re doing so well, taking me so well.”
His words of praise begin to turn the pain into something else. It still hurts, but after a few moments, I shift my hips, gasping at the way my core pulses with pleasure too.
“Nikolai?” I question, again not knowing what it is I’m asking. But it seems he really does know me inside out because he moves his hips, pulling out of me slightly.
Then slowly, he thrusts back inside, his eyes on mine as he gauges my reaction. I gasp, my nails digging into his shoulders as the pleasurable pain rocks through me. He repeats the move, keeping his pace slow and sensual until my hips begin to move with him, seeking.
“Ready for more, Solnishka?” he asks, his voice strained, sweat beaded on his forehead like it’s taking every ounce of his willpower to stop from ploughing into me.
“Yes,” I breathe out, my hands still grasping his shoulders.
“Place your hands above you,” he orders, and once I do, he takes both wrists into one of his hands before reaching down beside him and grabbing his tie and the flip knife with the other. Doing an impressive half push-up, he threads my wrists through the loops. “If your hands start to tingle or feel strange, tell me straight away, okay?” He pauses, looking deep into my eyes. My mouth is too dry to form the word, so I just nod, giving my consent. He gives me a blinding smile as he pulls out almost all the way. “Such a good girl.”
Then he snaps his hips forward, and Jesus fucking Christ, I cry out his name, the sensation of having him harder, having him deeper almost too much.
“Fuck, Nik!” I gasp as he does it again, and again, his grip holding me in place as he fucks me so hard the headboard hits the wall behind us.
“You can take it, Kotenok,” he grits out, giving another punishing thrust that leaves my legs shaking and the heat in my core building.
My breaths saw out of my chest, my eyes locked on the place where we’re joined. His dick is coated in red, my maiden blood, and there’s something about marking him like that which has the fire building into an inferno, threatening to consume me.
“I’m so close,” I moan, my back arching as my nerve endings tingle.
“Come for me then, Solinishko,” he demands, letting go of my wrists, his hand working between us to pinch my clit hard.
I. Fucking. Shatter.
My body goes completely rigid, my spine bowing as I come so hard my vision wavers. My bound hands grab the pillow above me, my legs shaking and trembling as he keeps pounding into me, his moves becoming uncoordinated and erratic.
“Suka!” he growls, thrusting so deep that I whimper, his body stiffening as he gives little pulses, filling me up with his climax.
A breath huffs out of me when he drops down over my body, covering me with his sweat-slicked skin.
“Shit, Nik, that was…”
Words fail me as even my teeth fucking tingle, and we both groan when he chuckles and my inner walls tighten around him.
“You’re perfect,” he whispers, pressing his lips against mine and kissing me hard, our breaths panting and intermingling until we share the same oxygen. “My beautiful, perfect, Iris.”
He unties my hands, tossing the tie aside and I hold him close, loving the feel of his weight on me, even if he is crushing me into the mattress. It grounds me, lets me know that although my life may have changed irrevocably, I still have Nikolai.
My friend.
My protector.
My soulmate.
