We were baking in the late August sun, sitting poolside in my backyard. A few seasons in the NHL paid well. I’d jumped around to four different teams, so I never really settled anywhere for too long. Most of my life had been like that actually- moving from town to town for different teams. The longest I’d stayed in one place was when I was in high school playing for the Griffins and then college playing up at Brecklin.
After my team didn’t make the playoffs last spring, I knew I wouldn’t be playing another season in the NHL. I’d had one too many concussions and not enough goals, and no one wanted me. That was alright though, I achieved that dream. I just didn’t know what was next and I didn’t know where was next.
After being dismissed I shut myself up in my apartment in New York and drank about a week away in my boxers by myself just binge-watching random ass tv shows and people watching from my penthouse. I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing. Usually when all the guys went home during the off-season, I just stayed and trained right through it. But I had no point to train anymore, and no home to go to. My parents were still in Vancouver, but I hadn’t lived with them since I was probably 14 or 15 and I didn’t even consider that home. If I really thought about it, the most secure and at home I’d ever felt had been my high school years that I’d spent in Minnesota and at the Ice League clowning around with Max and Smitty… and falling in love for my first and only time… with Jules.
At some point in that lost boxer week, I figured people went to work, but what was I even qualified to do? If I was being honest with myself- I barely did college. I had a general business degree but I knew nothing except the ice.
It was Max who swooped in and saved my ass. He had moved back to Northfield about a year after college. After a failed stint with an AHL team and then being demoted to an ECHL team for a season, he retired and started working at a couple different rinks before finding his way back to the Ice League with the Griffins. When he saw I wasn’t re-signed and was probably retiring, he reached out. Thank God for that because who knew where I’d be if he didn’t call.
I’d like to say that I could’ve gone anywhere and done anything, but that wasn’t true. I was pretty lost.
I figured I’d saved most of my money and it was invested here and there, but I was due for one big purchase and that had been this house. It wasn’t huge by any means, but it was sizeable and on a nice street on the wealthier side of town. It was on one of the streets I used to drive down as a teen and dream about living in one day with a family of my own. The kind of streets that were lined with uniform trees that the town decorated at Christmas time and with sidewalks that were kept up through every season. It was just too bad that the second part- a family of my own- wasn’t in the cards for me. But whatever, at least I made it to this side of the town rather than crashing at a billet family’s or Max’s parent’s place like I used to.
“Dude, you need new pool chairs, these are stiff as fuck,” Smitty complained. “And you need sunscreen for pool days, man. You get a big fat zero in hospitality.” Smitty shook his head.
“Well, I’m not shopping. Drink more and you’ll feel less stiff,” I snapped back.
“What’s up his ass?” Smitty asked.
Max sighed, “wouldn’t you like to know, Mr. No Show at tryouts.”
Smitty rolled his eyes, “I told you I’d coach, but I wouldn’t be a part of tryouts. Gives me PTSD.” He shivered.
“Oh, bullshit, dude. I thought you’d know it was important for me to show a strong coaching team from the start,” Max said, giving him a serious look.
“You two sound like damn girls arguing.” I got up to grab another beer from the cooler.
“Isn’t that his like tenth?” Smitty asked with raised brows.
“You a girl? Why are you counting my beers?” I muttered back.
“He’s on the team,” Max said then, cutting through everything else.
I froze. “Who is?”
He looked at me with a solid face, giving nothing away. “Canyon Tate.”
I was having a hard time breathing, I knew what he was saying. I was thankful I had shades on to shield my eyes from them. “That name supposed to mean something to me?” I tried to hold an even and careless tone, but I knew Max could see right through me, he was basically my brother.
“Am I missing something here?” Smitty asked. I felt like punching him in the face. I didn’t want to hear the explanation. Saying it aloud, hearing it… would make it all true… that she’d had a son without me and I’d have to face him on a consistent basis.
“Yeah. He’s Julianna Hurley’s son.”
Hearing it felt like the floor had been ripped away from me.
“No way!” Smitty said in awe. “I thought she was gone for good!”
I felt myself put my beer down, march back into my house and make it to the bathroom before I lost my shit. The thought of talking to her again. Her. Jules. Actually face to face, made me so upset and nervous I puked up my beer like some kind of sorority girl.
