She hasn’t left my side.
Taytum’s legs are hooked over mine, and her hand holds on tight to my arm as fluids rush through my vein in the other. I’m still cagey, and my heart still beats too fast for the athleticism that I possess, but without her, I’d probably be in a straitjacket from the Hulk-like strength I seem to possess when I’m in distress.
I hate hospitals.
The smell.
The fluorescent lights.
The depressing energy that seeps from everyone.
The memory of watching my mother die.
“You definitely have a concussion, and you need a CT due to how long you were unconscious.”
Taytum stiffens, and suddenly, I’m the one comforting her.
“I feel fine,” I say.
It’s partly a lie. I’m nauseated and weak, but the thought of being wheeled into a CT scan without her sends another line of stress down my spine. The sound of wheels against the tiled floor scratches a memory in the back of my head that I hate to think about.
“Ford.” Taytum sits up and peers down at me with a flushed face. “You need a CT.”
“Do I, though?” I ask with doubt. “My head is perfectly fine.”
She purses her lips. “That’s debatable. Even more so now that you have a concussion.”
The doctor chuckles and doesn’t give me an option to decline. “They’ll be up soon to wheel you in. If it checks out, you’re free to go home with a few precautions for the next couple days.”
Taytum thanks the doctor, and I lie back on the bed, trying to calm myself. The heart monitor beeps like crazy until Taytum snuggles back onto my chest and breathes a sugary sigh in my direction.
“Calm down,” she soothes.
I nod and take a deep breath. My arm tightens under her grip, and I rest my hand on her thigh. The room is quiet except for my heart monitor, but eventually, it slows. The longer she lies here with me, the calmer I become.
This moment proves that she came into my life exactly when I needed her to. Even though she started off as a friend-turned-crush, then turned into my favorite target to tease, and now to this…I know that she and I have always been something more.
Always.
“Thank you,” I rasp.
She tilts her head to look up at me. “For what? Making you stress about me so much that I distracted you during a game, and you plummeted to the ice?” She is full of sarcasm. “You’re welcome.”
“I’m never going to apologize for caring about you, and I never want you to feel guilty for it either.”
She lays her head back down, and I let my words rest in between us. Her finger starts to draw on my bicep, and I flex it to make her laugh—except, she doesn’t.
“Tay?”
“I get it now.”
“What do you get?” Hopefully how much I love her.
Her forehead creases. “How afraid you must have felt when I ended up in the hospital last summer.” I grab her wobbling chin and ignore the sting of the IV in my arm. “Or how frustrated you were when you found out that I was messing with my insulin. I get it now, and I’m so sorry, Ford.”
“Hey…” I try to stop her from getting too upset. “It’s okay. Stop crying.” I angle her face to mine and press our lips together. She tastes like sugar, and I can’t help but deepen the kiss. I pull away at the sound of my heart monitor going wild and send her a dark look. “See what you do to me?” I ask.
A soft smile falls to her lips.
“And knock it off. There’s only room for one of us to have an emotional breakdown tonight, and if you have one too, we’re both going to end up in the loony bin.”
“At least we’ll be together.” She laughs, but I catch it on her lips and kiss her again because I can’t help it. When we break apart, I decide now is the perfect time to fill her in on my plans to ease her worries over the insulin.
“Plus”—I keep a hold of her face—“I think I found a way to afford–”
Someone clears their throat and our heads swing to the door. My smile falls.
Emory stands there, still in his hockey uniform, with sweat dampening his hair. His jaw is tense, and the look he gives me is downright lethal.
“How long?” he snaps.
Taytum locks every one of her muscles. “Em–”
He puts his hand up to stop her all while keeping his glare pinned to me. “How…fucking…long?”
Fuck.
“That depends on what you’re asking,” I say slowly. “If you’re asking how long I’ve loved her, then I could answer with years.”
His jaw clenches. “How long have you been fucking my sister behind my back?”
Well, this is going to go over well.
“Emory!” Taytum sits up and gapes at her brother. “Seriously?”
He ignores her. “Answer the fucking question, Ford.”
I answer without any added jokes. “A couple of months.”
His jaw falls before he quickly regains the ability to speak. “Months?”
“Not months!” Taytum corrects, looking over at me. “We didn’t have se–”
“Spare me the fucking details,” Emory interrupts her.
My heart monitor starts to beep again, and Taytum looks at it, then to me, and then to her brother.
I sit up a little taller with my best friend’s sister beside me and try to take the fall for it. “We were going to tell you.”
Emory crosses his arms, and he is in full defensive mode. “I don’t give a shit. You’re not fucking my sister anymore.”
Taytum climbs to her feet, and I hate that she acts like a pillar between us. Anger rushes through my veins, and I fling the heart monitor off my finger because my pulse is only going to continue to get higher.
“Emory, you’re being ridiculous. You can’t honestly expect me not to date anyone for the rest of my life!” She throws her hands up. “God! That’s how this whole thing between us started!”
He runs his hand through his hair with frustration. “This is not about that! Don’t you get it?”
“Get what?” I ask.
Emory’s arms fall to his sides. “How the hell do you think you can take care of someone like her? You can’t even sit in a hospital without the doctors threatening to sedate you.” He points to the door. “Yeah, they told me you woke up and lost your shit like before. Have you ever thought about how you’ll be there for her when she ends up here again? Because we all know how shitty she is at taking care of herself.” His hands go to his waist, and the longer I hear him tell me that I can’t take care of her, the more my blood pressure rises.
Taytum steps in front of her brother. “I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Emory!”
“You are not! You can’t even take the right dose of insulin!”
Taytum’s eyes snap over to me, and through the whizzing of her hair, she looks devastated. I answer her silent question right away. “I didn’t.”
“And then there’s this bullshit! You two with your little secrets!” Emory yells. “What happens when you realize you don’t want her anymore, Ford? Huh? I lose you as my best friend, or I lose her as a sister? I’ve seen it a thousand times before. You say you’re into someone, and then the second it becomes real, you back away and mutter some stupid joke.”
I get up from the bed with the stupid fucking IV pole following me like shadow. “It’s always been real with her, so don’t you dare come in here and spew some bullshit that I’m going to be the one to hurt her. You think I’d risk our friendship or risk disappointing your parents for some casual fling? Do you truly think that little of me, Emory? We grew up together. You know me better than anyone.” I briefly look at her. She’s breathing fast, and her eyebrows are pulled taut. “Besides her.”
“Guys! Just stop.” Taytum tries to step in between us, but Emory quickly moves her off to the side.
“Taytum, go,” I urge.
She stomps her foot. “I am not leaving you two in here like this! And get back in the bed! You have a concussion.”
“Go!” Emory barks, keeping eye contact with me.
Taytum crosses her arms in defiance, but I still try to plead with her. “Taytum, please.”
“And let him hit you? You have a concussion, Ford. I’m not leaving.”
Emory feels betrayed. I get it. But how could he ever think I’d hurt her like that?
“You can hit me if you want,” I say to him, “Disown me as a friend. Tell your parents some bullshit, and get them to hate me too. But it won’t change anything, Emory. I love her. I have always loved her, and deep down, you’ve always known. I wouldn’t risk everything for just anyone.”
Emory grabs me around the neck, and my head instantly throbs. Taytum screams, and I hold up my hand. “Go!” I wince, glancing at her while Emory presses his fingers in harder. My back hits the wall, and the IV pole falls to the floor. “Trust me.” My voice is strained, but I stare at her. “Please.”
Emory knows me, but I know him too.
He has to get his point across.
He has to come to terms with this.
“This is ridiculous, and this is exactly what I was afraid of.” She turns to her brother. “I knew you’d react like this. If anyone is ruining anything, it’s you, Emory.”
Then, she briskly leaves the room, and I’m alone with her slightly unhinged brother, who is no longer looking at me like I’m his teammate. What’s even worse is that he’s no longer looking at me like I’m his best friend either.
