The first few days living with Alexander aren’t as awkward as I thought they’d be.
With his busy hockey schedule, we don’t see each other around the house too much, and when we do, Giuliana serves as a good buffer. She certainly keeps things interesting. It’s amazing how many questions her brain can conjure up.
Who was the first person to create pancakes?
How does electricity work?
What happened to the dinosaurs?
What would happen if a cat and dog had a baby? Which of course led to the inevitable, Where do babies come from?
It was fun watching Alexander field that question.
But raising Giuliana is a constant job—one I admire Alexander for. He never complains, and always does as much as he can on his own without having to ask Annie to help. Being a professional hockey player and a single parent is demanding on their own, yet he somehow finds a balance. It makes me wonder how much pressure he feels underneath the surface of his calm façade that he doesn’t talk about.
And it makes me want to help out as much as I can.
Which is why I let Giuliana sneak into my room at 1AM when she tells me she’s scared.
“Can I sleep with you?” she whispers, tiptoeing to the side of my bed.
I dig the heel of my hand into my eye as I stifle a yawn. “What’s wrong, kid”
“I had a nightmare and now I can’t fall back to sleep.”
I switch on the lamp on my nightstand before patting my comforter. “Come on up.”
Giuliana climbs onto the bed and scoots herself underneath the covers, glued to my side. “I had a dream that I was lost. It was really dark, and I couldn’t see anything. I kept calling out for Daddy, but I couldn’t see him.”
“That does sound scary.”
The parenting websites I’ve been on say to validate the child’s feelings instead of telling them something logical, like, There’s nothing to be scared of.
“I used to be scared of the dark when I was little too.”
Her eyebrows shoot up. “Really?”
I nod. “I slept with a flashlight until I was twelve-years-old.”
“Wow. That’s old.”
I smile. “And I didn’t have a big, strong dad like you do to protect you. It was just me and my mom, and half the time she wasn’t home because she had to work late hours.”
“So, what did you do when you were scared?”
“I’d draw. I had a sketchbook filled with the things that made me feel happy, so I could take my mind off the scary things in my head.”
“What did you draw?”
“Flowers, kittens, the beach.” I shrug. “Whatever I could think of.”
“Are you still afraid of the dark now?”
I shake my head. “Nope, not anymore.”
“What are you afraid of?”
I pull a sleeping Dash onto my lap so Giuliana can pet him. “Nothing really.”
Alexander’s voice has both of our shoulders jumping. “Ah, come on. Everyone’s afraid of something.”
Dear God, the man is shirtless. Smooth olive skin. Broad shoulders and chest. Perfectly sculpted abs. Muscle upon muscle. His body is the result of endless hours of training and an athlete’s diet. And fuck if I’m not going to stare and appreciate all the hard work he’s put into it.
But my mouth drops open when I spot the glint of a silver barbell poking through one of his nipples, and black ink on the left side of his ribcage.
Damn. A motorcycle, a nipple piercing, and a tattoo? Color me surprised.
And turned on.
Wearing a pair of low-slung basketball shorts and nothing else, he strides into the room. His hair is disheveled, smushed up on one side, and he rubs at his tired eyes.
Thank God there’s a child in the bed, otherwise I don’t think I’d be able to control myself.
Giuliana pats the bed like I did for her. “Come sit with us, Daddy.”
“Why are you up, little one?” He lowers himself onto the edge of the mattress, shooting me an apologetic glance.
“I had a nightmare and I didn’t want to wake you up because I know you have to get on the plane early in the morning.”
My heart. This little girl is a thinker and a worrier just like her father.
He smooths a hand over her hair. “Aarya has to get up for work tomorrow too, though, baby.”
“It’s okay,” I say, giving Giuliana’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “We were talking about the things I used to do to help me when I got scared as a kid.”
“And you’re not scared of anything now?” he asks me. “Not one single thing?”
“Probably sharks. I wouldn’t want to be in the ocean with one of those.” I hike a shoulder. “But nothing irrational like heights or spiders.”
“How is a fear of spiders irrational?” His eyes narrow. “That sounds like a pretty rational fear to me.”
“Spiders are amazing. They kill all the other harmful insects. Plus, they’re adorable.”
“Adorable?” He scoffs. “Dogs are adorable. Bunnies. Baby chicks. Anything that doesn’t have eight legs and the ability to crawl into your mouth while you’re asleep.”
I roll my eyes. “They want nothing to do with your mouth.”
“Think about it. Why do they need so many legs, hmm? Dolphins have none, and they’re awesome. Dogs have four, and they’re the best animals ever. Why do you need eight legs? It’s not for anything good, I’m telling you.”
“Just look at the way they build their webs, and capture their prey. They’re so intelligent.”
“Spiders are pretty cool, Daddy. Just like Charlotte from Charlotte’s Web.” Giuliana giggles. “He cried watching that movie.”
“I don’t doubt it.” The big softie. I bite my bottom lip to keep from laughing. “Maybe if you learned more about them, you wouldn’t be so scared. They’re as fascinating as bees.”
Alexander closes his eyes and shudders. “I hate bees.”
I arch a brow. “Big Man is afraid of a little sting?”
“Those stingers hurt. People lie when they say they won’t bother you if you don’t bother them.” He swings his arms out wide. “And they have the whole earth to roam around. Why do they always find my ear holes?”
“You liked The Bee Movie, didn’t you?” Giuliana asks.
“Yes, but that was a cartoon.” He heaves a sigh like he’s stressed just talking about it. “Anything with a hive mentality is terrifying.”
“That’s what makes them so amazing. They protect the colony at all costs.” I jump up to my feet and pull Giuliana up with me, lifting her into my arms. “Isn’t that right, Giuls?”
“Protect the colony!” she shouts as I spin her around.
I jump off the bed and fly her into her room, flipping on the lights before I give her a crash-landing on her bed.
She squeals and scoots under the sheets. “Can you lay with me for a little while? Just until I fall asleep?”
Alexander starts to tell her no, but I interrupt. “Sure.” I point my index finger at him. “And you get your butt back in bed because you need your rest.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He backs out of the room with his hands at either side of his head. “Maybe I should be scared of you.”
“You should.” I shoot him a wink and flip off the lights.
I lie with Giuliana until I hear her breathing even out, and then I slink out of her room and close her door.
Alexander is waiting in my room when I get back, with Dash curled up in his lap.
“She’s asleep.” I lower myself onto the foot of the bed beside him. “As you should be.”
“I’m really sorry about that.”
“Don’t be. I’m up a lot throughout the night, so it’s not a big deal.”
Years of being woken up by my mother’s flavors of the week—whether it was the sound of them having sex, fighting, or trying to get into my room—has turned me into a light sleeper.
He shakes his head. “All the more reason she shouldn’t be waking you.”
“It’s okay if you’re jealous that she wants me and not you.” I nudge him with my shoulder, attempting to pull a smile out of him. “I’m pretty awesome. It’s not her fault.”
All I get is a smirk. He’s quiet as his gaze remains on his hands in his lap.
“If you’re worried about being away these next few days, don’t be. We’ll be fine here.”
He nods. “I know.”
“Then what’s on your mind, Big Man?”
“We need to discuss when we’re going to get married.”
Nerves squeeze my stomach. “Sooner than later is probably best.”
“I looked it up online. We need to have a witness there when we sign the paperwork. It seems pretty simple.”
I pop a shoulder, trying to be nonchalant. “I can call tomorrow and make the appointment.”
“That would be great, thanks.” Still, he doesn’t budge.
“Anything else?” I stifle a yawn. “You need to get some sleep before your alarm goes off.”
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small black velvet box. “If you still want to do this, then I’d like you to wear my mother’s ring. If that’s something you’re okay with.”
My eyes widen as I stare down at the box like it’s a live bomb. “I didn’t even think about rings.”
He nods as he flips open the top. “I always imagined I’d use my mother’s ring when I proposed.”
“Is this your proposal?” I try to laugh it off, but it gets caught in my throat.
His eyes flick to mine. “You’d hate it if I got down on one knee.”
I grin, ignoring the fact that he knows me well enough to know that. “Considering this is the only proposal I’ll ever get, I’d say it’s a memorable one.”
His eyebrows pinch together, ignoring my joke. “You don’t think you’ll ever get married?”
“Nope. You’re the only one locking me down.”
The corner of his mouth tips up, as if that idea pleases him.
I gaze down at the ring between us. “It’s beautiful, Alex.”
There’s a pear-shaped diamond in the middle of a thin gold band. It’s not flashy, and the diamond isn’t overly big. It’s classy and simple.
I’m not into jewelry, but I don’t mind this, knowing it means something to Alexander, knowing it’s a piece of his parents that he’s sharing with me.
“If you want me to buy you a new ring, I will. I just figured—”
“No.” I wrap my fingers around his hand that’s holding the box. “I would be honored to wear your mother’s ring. We’re doing this for your parents, after all.”
He slips the ring out of the box and takes my left hand in his. The ring slides over my finger, but isn’t tight enough to stay on it without the diamond spinning to the inside of my hand.
“I’ll have it resized when I get back,” he says, tucking the ring back inside the box. “Annie will be here in case you need anything. I cooked enough meals for the next two days, but I’ll leave my credit card in the kitchen if you want to order anything.”
“Stop thinking, and go to sleep, Big Man. Everything is going to be fine.” I rise from the bed and tug on his massive arm, making Dash jump onto the floor. “Come on. Do you need me to tuck you in, too?”
He chuckles. “Yeah, read me a bedtime story.”
He lets me pull him all the way down the hall and into his bedroom. I shove him onto the mattress and pull the comforter up around him. “Once upon a time, there was a giant hockey player who worried too much. One day, all of his hair started falling out, which was a damn shame because he had a nice head of hair. The end.”
He squeezes his eyes shut as he laughs. “That is the worst story ever.”
“It teaches a valuable life lesson: Don’t worry so much or you’ll go bald.”
“Stick to art and leave the books to Cassidy.” He reaches out and clasps my hand before I walk away. “Seriously, thank you for helping with Giuliana tonight.”
“I didn’t do anything special.”
“You don’t need to. Being you is enough.” His thumb draws lazy circles against mine. “You’re great with her.”
Warmth blankets my body, something unfamiliar tugging at my heart. “Anybody would be. She’s a great kid.”
It’s a shame her mother didn’t stick around to see that. She’s missing out, yet she’ll never know.
I push away the sadness and squeeze Alexander’s hand. “Have a good game tomorrow, Angel Food Cake.”
With those big puppy eyes on me, he brings my palm to his lips and presses a kiss in the center of it before letting go of my hand. “Goodnight, spitfire.”
“Don’t let the bed bugs bite.” I toss a wink over my shoulder when I reach the door. “Or spiders crawl into your mouth.”
A pillow hits me square in the ass on my way out.
