The next few days are like Groundhog Day.
I keep Alexander company for as long as visiting hours will allow me. My time is spent talking to him and filling him in on how Giuliana’s doing in school, and telling him all the funny questions she’s had, because I know how much he hates missing out on time with her.
My evenings are for Giuliana, helping her with homework, making sure she feels surrounded by the people who love her, and trying to make things as normal as possible in her father’s absence. McKinley has been over a lot too, making sure to keep the smile on Giuliana’s face.
Nighttime is the hardest. That’s when I Google all the possible outcomes of a man in a coma. Everyone keeps telling me to stay positive, to keep the faith that Alexander will wake up and everything will be okay. But I can’t delude myself. I have to keep my feet on the ground. There’s a chance Alexander might not wake up. There’s also a chance he wakes up and suffers from amnesia, or lifelong complications. The longer he stays in a coma, the worse it gets.
Of course, I want him to wake up. I wish for it with every fiber of my being. But I have to prepare myself for the worst.
Saturday morning, I open my eyes in Alexander’s bed and spot Giuliana beside me. Every night, she starts out sleeping in her own bed—only because I know her father would want her to maintain her routine—but every morning when I wake up from a broken night’s sleep of tossing and turning, she’s always here beside me.
I drag myself out of bed, and Ellie trots behind me while Dash stays curled up with Giuliana. I take the dog for a walk, feed her, and then down a cup of coffee so I can get back to the hospital.
“Aarya, you have to eat.” Annie casts me a dejected glance. “You can’t survive on black coffee all day.”
“I’m not hungry.”
She heaves a sigh. “Listen, I need to talk to you about something before Giuliana wakes up. Can we sit down?”
The tone of her voice has the bile churning in my empty stomach. “What’s wrong? Did the hospital call while I was asleep?”
She shakes her head. “No, but I need to show you something.”
There’s a manila envelope sitting on the dining room table, and Annie slides it toward me as we take our seats. “This is Alexander’s will.”
I almost vomit on the spot. “Oh, fuck. I don’t want to see this.”
“I’m not showing you this because I think he’s going to die. I’m showing you this because I think you could use a pick-me-up.”
I stare down at the envelope, too scared to open it. “This feels morbid.”
Annie ignores me and flips it open, and points to one of the bottom paragraphs. “We discussed this about a month ago.”
My eyes scan the page until my vision blurs. “Why would he do that?” I shake my head. “I can’t…I can’t…”
“He wants you to be Giuliana’s legal guardian should anything happen to him. It used to be me, but…” She huffs out a laugh. “I’m getting old, and I think this is the best decision for her.”
Me?
Me.
Giuliana’s legal guardian.
“Why wouldn’t he talk to me about this first?”
She chuckles. “Probably because he knew you’d say no, like you are right now.”
Panic licks up my spine. “I… I’m not a mom. I’m no good at this,” I stammer. “Look at me. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Sweetheart, you have been the most wonderful addition to this family. That little girl looks at you like you hung the moon. You’ve done everything you can to ensure her health, happiness, and safety. And you give her love. At the end of the day, that’s all that matters.”
“How is this supposed to cheer me up?” This is overwhelming at the very least.
“Because it shows you how highly that man regards you.” Annie swipes away a tear. “He has fallen so deeply in love with you, and it has been an honor to sit here and watch it all unfold. So, hold onto that reminder. Hold onto the hope that he’s going to come back to you.”
The sound of Dash’s meow pulls my attention to the hallway, where he and Giuliana step out into the dining room.
I push my lips into a smile. “Hey, kid.”
But she doesn’t smile back. Her tiny sniffle gives her away.
Fuck.
“I miss Daddy.”
I open my arms wide, and she crashes into me. Her little body shakes as she cries, and I hoist her onto my lap so she can koala herself around me.
“Why is it taking so long for him to wake up?” she wails. “Isn’t he done healing already?”
My throat burns. “I know it’s taking a long time.”
I can’t deny her frustration. It is taking a long time, and this really sucks. She’s allowed to feel it. She’s allowed to throw a tantrum if she wants to. I’m surprised it took her this long.
It’s in this moment, holding Giuliana as she breaks down in my arms, that it hits me.
It doesn’t matter what I think of myself. It doesn’t matter if I think I’m a good mom, or fit to take on this role. I’m here regardless. I’m in it. And this kid needs me. So, I’ll be whatever I need to be, do whatever I need to do, in order to ensure that she has everything.
Even if it means being her mom.
“You have a visitor in the waiting room,” the nurse says, standing in the doorway.
I glance at my phone, wondering if it’s McKinley or Cassidy, though neither of them texted me.
Annie pushes out of the chair and takes Giuliana with her. “We’ll go get some dinner.”
“Bye, Daddy.” Giuliana waves at Alexander’s lifeless body. “We’ll be right back, okay? Maybe you can wake up and have dinner with us.”
Another knife slices through my heart.
The nurse walks out with Annie, and I tell Eddie to follow them instead of staying with me.
Several minutes later, footsteps sound in the hall. I glance over my shoulder, but I’m not greeted by McKinley’s orange curls, or Cassidy’s hopeful hazel eyes. A tall, frail man stands in the doorway wearing an expensive-looking suit. The fluorescent lights shine off his bald head, his face covered in wrinkles.
“Nope.” I stand and point my index finger at him. “Get the fuck out of here.”
He arches a bushy gray brow. “Excuse me?”
“I know who you are, and you’re not welcome here, Lorenzo.”
A smirk plays on his thin lips. “Is that any way to speak to your grandfather-in-law?”
I open my arms wide. “We’re surrounded by lots of pointy objects, so unless you want one jammed in your eye socket, then I suggest you turn around and leave. Cancer will be the least of your worries when I’m through with you.”
A surprised chuckle leaves his mouth as he strides into the room. “Well, you’re a charming young lady, aren’t you?”
I grit my teeth. “I swear, I’ll call security and have your ass throw out of here.”
His feet halt, and he holds up his hands on either side of his head. “I just wanted to see how my grandson is doing.”
My eyebrows hit my hairline. “Your grandson? You mean, the one you’ve ignored for the last twenty-nine years of his life? The one you’re trying to con out of his parents’ villa? That grandson?”
He smirks. “And you must be the wife he’s arranged to con me out of the stipulations in my will. Tell me, how much is he paying you? I can offer more.”
I make a gagging sound and scrunch my face. “Eww, you want me to marry you? Sorry, but I’m not into sugar daddies.”
He chuckles. “You know what I mean, Aarya.”
The sound of my name in his mouth sends an eerie shiver down my spine. “I’m only going to say this one more time: Leave. Now.”
I slip my phone out of my back pocket and tap out a quick text to Eddie telling him I need his assistance in the room, but to keep Annie and Giuliana away.
“I’m not here to cause trouble. I feel for you, truly. And I can offer you a way out. You didn’t sign up for all this.” He waves his arm, gesturing to Alexander. “You thought it’d be easy, didn’t you? He buys you an art gallery in exchange for a marriage agreement. You go on a few dates, you spend some time acting like a couple. But this is too much of a commitment. Are you prepared to stick by his side for as long as this lasts?”
His insinuation is insulting. “I will stay by his side for as long as I have to, because I am his wife and I love him.” I lower my voice and clench my fists as I inch toward the old bastard. “Maybe a heartless piece of shit like you would pretend to marry someone just to get one over on your dying grandfather, but Alexander would never do that. He’s a better man than you ever were.”
He ignores my jab. “How long do you plan on staying married? Six months? One year? It’d have to be at least that to make it look legit. Or maybe you’re just waiting for me to die.”
“How could you do that to your own daughter?” I ask, turning the questions around on him. “Do you ever think about her? Do you regret the way you treated her while she was alive? Do you wish you could have a second chance to make things right with her?”
“Would that make you feel better, to know that a father regrets not being in his daughter’s life? Do you wonder if yours thinks about you at all?”
This motherfucker.
For a split second, I envision jumping on him like a spider monkey and clawing his eyes out of his face. But that’s what he wants. That’s why he’s here, to get a reaction out of me.
Instead, I smile. “No, I don’t think about my father at all actually. Just like Alexander won’t think about you when you’re gone. It’s amazing how the trash always ends up taking itself out.”
He heaves a sigh. “This is my final offer, Aarya. Name your price, and you can get out of this mess.”
This mess. Alexander’s life hangs in the balance, and he’s referring to it like an inconvenience.
“Take your money and shove it up your ass, Lorenzo.”
Eddie strides through the doorway and wraps his hand around Lorenzo’s arm. “Time to go.”
“One more thing.” I stand in front of the old man and square my feet as I look into his soulless eyes. “I hope the cancer eats away at your insides, and you die a slow, painful death. And I hope the last thought that crosses your mind is the fact that no one on this earth gives a shit that you’re dead.”
Lorenzo shakes his head and turns to leave without another word.
Alone in the room with Alexander once again, I return to my chair beside his bed. I lift his hand and place his palm against my cheek, closing my eyes and wishing his thumb would stroke my skin like it used to.
“I hope you heard that, Big Man. Because I meant what I said to your scumbag grandfather. I love you, and I’m not going anywhere. And if you would just wake up, I could tell you that. I’ll wait here for as long as I have to, but the coffee here sucks and this chair is really uncomfortable, so if you could hurry this along, that’d be great.” A manic laugh bubbles out of me as I start to cry. “I miss the sound of you laughing at my sarcastic jokes. I miss you calling me spitfire. I miss riding with you. I miss…I miss everything about you. If you don’t come back to me, how am I supposed to go on? You’ve engrained yourself into my life, and now I don’t know how to do this without you. You changed everything for me, and now I need you to come back. Giuliana needs you. Your team needs you. So, I’m gonna need you to open those puppy dog eyes of yours now.”
I stare at him, willing his eyelids to flutter. Willing his hand to twitch against my face. Waiting for a sign, for something to give me even a spark of hope.
But he doesn’t, so I bury my face in his blanket and cry.
Several minutes later, Eddie returns to the room. “All clear, Mrs. Krum.”
I turn around and give him a feeble smile. “Thanks.”
He glances down at me before he goes, and says, “Remind me not to mess with you. You’re terrifying when you’re angry.”
