“All right, boys. Let The Very Manly Book Club meeting commence.”
I scrunch my nose. “The Very Manly Book Club?”
“We needed a name,” McKinley says.
“That’s not going to be the name of our book club.” I hold up my hand. “And who made you the president?”
“I did.” McKinley puffs out his chest. “You can be the team captain on the ice, and I’ll be the captain of our smut books.”
Jason nudges him with his elbow. “You have to read more than just the sex scenes in order to be the president of our club.”
Trenton chuckles from the row behind us. “You did read more than just the sex scenes, right?”
McKinley scoffs. “Of course I did.”
Jason arches a brow. “What was the main character’s name?”
McKinley flashes a triumphant grin. “Scarlett.”
“Nice job, Mac.” Trenton rubs his palms together. “All right, so what did you guys think about the book?”
Trenton is our new goalie. He got traded from his Seattle team after his fiancée cheated on him with one of his teammates. With us, he doesn’t have to worry about that kind of disgraceful behavior. The Goldfinches are our family, and we’d never do anything to hurt our brothers.
“What I want to know is: What did you think of the fact that your girlfriend wrote a book about four dudes getting with one chick?” McKinley waggles his eyebrows as he gestures between the four of us. “Because it sounds like she’s hinting at something here.”
Jason punches McKinley in the arm since he’s sitting closest to him. “Focus on the book, dipshit.”
“I think this was Cassidy’s best writing yet,” I say. “She made a foursome believable. I was fully invested in each of their relationships.”
Jason’s eyes narrow. “What do you mean she made it believable?”
I hike a shoulder. “It’s not like that stuff would happen in real life, multiple partners like that.”
“It could.” Jason averts his eyes as he flips through the pages of the book in his lap. “It’s not talked about as openly as monogamous relationships, but it’s out there.”
“Mormons are polygamous,” McKinley says.
“That was back in the nineteenth century.” I pinch the bridge of my nose, like I often do when talking to McKinley about history. “Polygamy isn’t allowed anymore, and most Mormons don’t still practice it.”
Trenton nods. “I think that’s why these ‘why choose’ books are so popular. It’s a taboo subject that you don’t see every day.”
“They’re popular because they’re hot as fuck.” McKinley points to his pants. “I had a boner the entire time I read this book. I had to stop and jerk off, like, every chapter.”
Coach turns around from the front seat of the bus. “Something you should keep to yourself, Mac.”
Several of our teammates clap and cheer in agreement.
McKinley coughs out a laugh. “Oh, come on. Don’t act like you guys are any better than me. Reading these romance books is the equivalent of watching porn.”
“Cassidy gets turned on while she’s writing.” Trenton bites back a smile. “I love being her research for these scenes.”
My chest warms seeing Trenton so happy after everything he’s been through. And Cassidy is a sweetheart. Finding true love isn’t easy when you’re in the public eye like we are, and they give me hope that one day something might be out there for me too.
McKinley flips to a page he has tabbed in his paperback. “The camping scene in chapter twelve? That was probably my favorite sex scene in the whole book.”
Jason and I nod in agreement. The group scenes were hot. In real life, I’m a one-woman kind of man. But when you’re reading romance? Anything goes.
Trenton glances around our group. “I also liked the friendship between all the guys. How they were so open with each other, and you could tell that they really cared about each other. It’s like they were a family.”
“I don’t know how they were okay with sharing the girl they were in love with.” I grimace. “Would you be able to watch your girl go down on your best friend?”
Trenton shakes his head hard. “Hell no. I don’t play well with others.”
“That’s because you two are possessive as fuck.” McKinley laughs and then lets his head fall back against the seat, his bright-auburn curls bouncing back as he does. “I don’t know. I’ve never been in love, but I think if you’re in a tight-knit group like that, and you’re all into it, and everyone trusts each other, then I might be able to get into sharing.”
Trenton swings his gaze to Jason. “You’re quiet over there, Stams. Could you watch Kourtney get railed by another dude?”
Jason hesitates before answering, like he’s actually giving it some thought. “I think it depends on the dynamic between the people involved. Would I want to watch Kourtney go up to a random dude in a club and bang him? No. But if it was a person we were both comfortable with, and it was something she was interested in exploring together, then I don’t know if I’d be able to say no to that.”
That surprises me. Jason is wholly in love with his wife. They were high school sweethearts, and I can’t imagine him being okay with her wanting to be that close with someone else.
Trenton’s eyebrows hit his hairline. “You’d have sex with another dude if she wanted you to?”
He hikes a shoulder. “If it felt right, why not?”
“Have you done that before?” I ask.
“No, I haven’t felt a connection like that with another man. But it’s not something I’d be opposed to.”
McKinley pats him on the shoulder. “Why do I feel like you and your wife are into some kinky shit?”
He chuckles. “It’s not about kink. Kourtney and I are honest with each other about who we are and what we want. We’re open-minded.”
McKinley nods. “I’ve been with men before.”
Trenton’s mouth falls open. “I didn’t know that.”
I’m shocked listening to my friends reveal such honest pieces of themselves. I love how open-minded and inclusive our team is. That’s not easy to come by, especially in the world of sports.
Jason shifts in his seat as he continues to talk. “I think it’s more about the connection you have with a person than it is about their gender. So many people are stuck in thinking that they can only be attracted to one kind of person. You always hear women say things like, He has to be tall, or men say, I’m not into dudes. But if we opened our minds to the possibility of falling in love without those restrictions, imagine the kind of love we could find.”
“Kind of like falling in love if we were all blindfolded,” I say. “You wouldn’t be able to focus on what they looked like, or the color of their skin, or what their genitals looked like. You’d have to go on how they made you feel.”
“Exactly.” Jason offers me a grateful smile. “Love knows no bounds. We’re the ones who put restrictions on ourselves and limit ourselves.”
“Love is love.” McKinley nods. “I totally agree.”
We all sit in silence as the bus travels down the road, a bunch of hockey players lost in our own philosophical thoughts about love and its many forms.
Until McKinley’s voice breaks through the quiet. “So, about that camping scene. Have any of you ever thought about getting your dick pierced?”
Trenton cringes. “I’ve heard about how it can increase your pleasure, but I don’t think I could go through with the initial pain.”
“What about anal plugs?”
Coach whips around again. “Mac, I’m about to stick an anal plug in your mouth if you don’t shut the fuck up. Take a nap or something.”
We stifle our laughter so as not to upset our coach.
McKinley leans in and whispers, “Someone should try putting an anal plug in his ass.”
Jason elbows him in the ribs again. “Don’t piss him off.”
“The storyline was good though.” I return our attention to the book before Coach really snaps. “I was on the edge of my seat when their relationship became public and everything was falling apart.”
“I loved how Scarlett was scared of what her family would think throughout the entire book, and then she was forced to face her fears and tell them,” Jason says.
Trenton smiles proudly. “It was important to Cassidy to make sure Scarlett was more than just a toy being passed around. She put a lot of care into writing her character.”
“She had a lot of character growth, and it was beautiful to watch.” Jason lowers his voice. “I teared up during that scene when her mother told her she would love her no matter what.”
Jason and I both lost our parents, and I know he must’ve been thinking the same thing I was while I read that scene. It made me think about all the incredible things my parents are missing out on in my life, and the moments I’m missing out on not having them with me. They’d be so proud if they could see the things I’ve accomplished, that the dreams I used to talk about actually came true.
Once the book club meeting ends, McKinley turns his attention to me. “Hey, Krum Cake. Anything new with you and Aarya?”
“Nope.”
It’s been months since we’ve spoken. I need to focus on finding someone serious—and keeping the villa in my name. I don’t have time to waste on someone who doesn’t want the same things I do.
“I don’t know how you resisted her.” McKinley sighs. “She’s like a Middle Eastern goddess.”
I wince at the reminder. “It doesn’t matter. There’s no point in spending one night with her when it won’t lead to anything.”
Trenton grunts. “She’s like a praying mantis. She’d chew you up and spit you out the second she was done with you.”
“I’d let her. She gives off dominatrix vibes.” McKinley waggles his eyebrows. “Same thing goes for Trent’s PR agent, Celeste. She looks like she’d make you get on your knees and crawl to her.”
Jason rolls his lips between his teeth, hiding a smile, like he’s in on some private joke. “I can get her to stuff a ball gag in your mouth and shut you up for a while.”
McKinley flips him off, and we laugh as the two bicker.
“At this rate, I’ll never find a woman to settle down with,” I murmur more to myself than to my friends.
Jason’s eyebrows pinch together. “You’re still young, man. You’ve got plenty of time to fall in love. It’ll happen when it’s meant to happen.”
“I don’t have time.” I shake my head and squeeze my eyes shut. “You don’t understand.”
The clock has been ticking over my head like a time bomb. Every day I get closer to my birthday is one day closer to losing the villa.
McKinley swings his legs into the aisle, leaning his elbows on his knees. “So, help us understand. What’s going on?”
The guys watch me as I wrestle with what to say. I need to be their unwavering captain. The picture of stability. Not someone with this circus of a personal life.
But being vulnerable with them helps to lead by example. We lean on each other on and off the ice, and if I can’t trust them, then they won’t trust me.
“My grandfather is dying, and he changed his will to take my parents’ villa away from me.”
Jason’s head snaps to me. “What? Why?”
“I don’t know. Just another way to fuck me over.” I scrub a hand over my jaw. “I always imagined I’d retire there. Bring my wife and kids there for summer vacation. But my grandfather put a stipulation into his will that if I’m not married by the time I turn thirty, I won’t be able to inherit it.”
Trenton’s head jerks back. “That’s ridiculous.”
I nod. “You guys know I want to find someone and fall in love. But now it feels like I have limited time, and if I don’t find it, then I lose the house.”
“Can you fight it?” Jason asks. “If your parents left the villa to you, isn’t there anything you can do to reverse his changes?”
“Nope.” I glance out the window at the trees blurring together as we pass them by. “My grandfather has major money and connections, and the will is iron-clad.”
“Damn, that sucks,” McKinley says.
“You could always hire someone to pose as your fake wife.”
All three of our heads turn to Trenton.
He glances toward the front of the bus and gestures for us to be quiet with his finger against his lips. “That’s what Cassidy and I did in the beginning. She posed as my girlfriend for the media.”
“What?” McKinley shouts.
“Shh, you idiot,” Jason whisper-yells. He leans closer to Trenton. “Are you saying Cassidy isn’t really your girlfriend?”
McKinley’s mouth flaps open. “But you’re getting married in a few months.”
I’d be just as shocked as they are if Aarya hadn’t spilled the secret to me at the skating rink.
“We are getting married.” Trenton’s gaze drops to his hands in his lap. “Everything between us is real now, but we didn’t start out that way.”
I rest my forearms on my knees, mimicking the other guys as we huddle together in the aisle so no one else hears us. “How did it start?”
“Celeste thought it was a good idea to get some good PR surrounding me after the bullshit with my old team. So, when those paparazzi pictures surfaced of Cassidy and me in our parking garage, it seemed like the perfect opportunity. Celeste wrote up a contract, had Cassidy and Aarya sign an NDA. Cassidy wouldn’t sign the NDA without being able to tell her best friend what was going on.”
“She told her best friend, but you didn’t want to tell us,” McKinley mutters.
“I’m sorry, Mac.” Trenton looks around the group, making eye-contact with each of us. “I’m sorry for lying. It just… sounded so silly, faking a relationship, as if I couldn’t find someone to love me for real. I guess I was embarrassed.”
“You have nothing to apologize for,” I say. “We all do what we think is best at the time. Just know that we’re your friends and you can tell us anything. We will always be here for you.”
The guys take turns asking questions about Trenton’s arrangement, but the possibilities continue to zoom through my head at warp speed like they have from the moment Aarya told me about this.
I can’t invite a woman into my world, my home, my private life. My daughter’s little bubble has to stay safe. Something like this could jeopardize everything I’ve been working so hard for.
“So, what do you think, Krum?” Trenton snaps me out of my thoughts. “Maybe Celeste can set you up with something similar to make sure you get to keep the villa.”
I rub the back of my neck. “I don’t know, man. Where would I even find a woman willing to do something like that?”
“Why not Aarya?” McKinley asks. “You know she’s attracted to you.”
“And Cassidy has known her for years, so she’s not some random person off the street,” Trenton adds.
“Yeah, but she doesn’t do relationships. I couldn’t even get her to wear my name on her jersey, let alone take it as her last name. What’s going to make her want to pretend to be married?”
Trenton grins like he already knows the answer. “You just have to give her some incentive.”
Money. She does need the money—she said so herself. If I offered her a good amount…
“No.” I shake my head hard as if to shake the idea right out of my head. “I can’t. It’s more complicated than that.”
“How so?” Jason asks.
I glance around the group, not missing McKinley’s knowing stare.
Trenton shared something personal with us. I should be able to do the same. I should be surrounding Giuliana with love, not hiding her from the people who are important to me.
I blow out a long breath through my lips. “I have a daughter.”
The entire bus turns around in their seats, including Coach. It’s pin-drop silent as I find the words to explain why I’ve kept this from the guys for so long.
“She’s three now. Her name is Giuliana.” A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth. “She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Three.” Jason pauses like he’s trying to make sense of it all. “Why did you wait so long to tell us?”
“I’ve been trying to keep her away from the spotlight. You know how the paparazzi can get. That’s not the kind of life she deserves to grow up in.”
“That I get,” he says. “But what about us? You could’ve told us. We would’ve kept that secret for you.”
I nod. “I know you would’ve. It’s hard to put it into words. Maybe a part of me felt embarrassed—not of her, but of the fact that I had a careless accident with a one-night-stand. That her mother didn’t want to stick around to be a part of her life.”
“Fuck her,” McKinley blurts out. “She doesn’t know what she’s missing out on. That is for her to be embarrassed about.”
Coach nods. “We are a family, Krum. And your little girl is a part of our family now.”
Emotion swells in my throat. “Thanks, Coach.”
Trenton smiles. “We can’t wait to meet her, man.”
And then I smile too. Because regardless of whatever shit my grandfather threw my way, I know everything will work out in the end. I have my team, my friends, and my baby girl.
And that’s all that matters at the end of the day.
