I FELT LIKE SUCH AN IDIOT. I’d just arrived home after my date with Violet but couldn’t bring myself to get out of the truck. Our first fake date had been somewhat successful, but I was still thinking about how she’d frozen up when I moved to sit closer to her in the booth at Nino’s. She’d seemed fine when I put my arm around her at the ice rink in front of Jeremy. I’d even got the impression she liked it. But it must have just been a part of our act to show her ex we were serious. An act she’d momentarily forgotten to continue in front of my friends at the pizza restaurant.
It felt like I’d seen her true feelings in that moment because as soon as our legs had brushed against each other she’d responded as if she wanted to get out of the booth and flee. It was probably because she remembered I was just an arrogant, unappealing jock who she would otherwise be completely avoiding.
I, on the other hand, couldn’t get enough of her. When she was close, like she had been at the restaurant, I found it almost impossible not to try to get closer still. Every time she held my hand, touched my arm, or even just brushed against me, my stomach flipped, and every time I breathed in the sweet scent of her shampoo or watched her tuck her bright red hair behind her ear, I had to remind myself she wasn’t truly mine. I hung off her every word when she spoke, and when she smiled, I could feel myself falling deeper and deeper. I was in serious trouble because I was only becoming more certain she was never going to look at me the same way.
I sighed as I reluctantly summoned the energy to climb out of the safety of the truck and head inside.
“How was dinner with Violet?” Parker asked as I entered through the back door and came into the kitchen. It was a simple question, but Parker had somehow packed it full of suggestion and innuendo.
“Dinner was good,” I grunted, trying my best to ignore the smug grin on my brother’s face.
“Who’s Violet?” Cammie asked as she pulled her head out of the fridge and closed the door. I hadn’t even noticed she was there.
“Reed’s girlfriend,” Parker answered, his grin only growing smugger.
Cammie’s mouth dropped open as she turned to me. “You have a girlfriend?”
“You don’t have to sound so surprised.”
“Of course, I do,” Cammie replied. “I thought you didn’t date. Who is this girl that’s finally tied you down?”
“She goes to Sunshine Prep,” Parker said. He was enjoying this all way too much.
“What?” Cammie gasped. “Why? Isn’t like every girl at Ransom chasing you?”
“No, of course not.”
She laughed. “Are you really that oblivious?”
“He’s not oblivious,” Grayson said, entering the kitchen. “Reed’s just too focused on hockey to worry about shit like that.”
“Oh god. Not you too,” I grumbled. Gray was, at least, coming to my defense, but I still didn’t feel like having a kitchen meeting with all my siblings to chat about my love life. Especially not when my relationship wasn’t real, and I was starting to lose hope it ever could be.
“Well, I’m just glad to see Reed’s finally focused on getting into someone’s pants,” Parker said.
“I’m not getting into anyone’s pants!” I yelled. It was bad enough people I didn’t know said that crap about me. I didn’t need to hear it from my family even if they were just winding me up.
To make things worse, my mom took that moment to enter the kitchen. “Glad to hear it, Reedy,” she said, giving me a pat on the shoulder as she grabbed her keys off the table and left the room again.
Silence followed, but then my siblings all burst into laughter once she was out the door. Even Grayson couldn’t contain himself. Parker was laughing so hard he was clutching his belly. I hoped it gave him a stomachache.
I glared at them all. “I don’t know how any of you have friends,” I said before following my mom out of the kitchen.
I headed straight for my room, desperate to get away from everyone, and flopped down on my bed. Unfortunately, Grayson didn’t get the message.
“You all right?” he asked, leaning against the doorway. I really should have closed the door.
With a sigh, I rolled to face him. It took a lot to make my brother smile, let alone laugh. But he was still smirking after Mom’s comment downstairs.
“I’ll survive,” I replied. It was hardly the worst thing my mom had heard come out of my mouth over the years. If anything, she’d probably be disappointed by the idea I wasn’t intently pursuing women. Our mom gave the Bennet mother in Pride and Prejudice a run for her money. She was far too eager to see her kids in happy, meaningful relationships, and if we’d been born a few centuries ago, I had no doubt she’d have us all married off by now.
“Think I’m just glad she didn’t hear the part about the girlfriend,” I said as Grayson entered the room and sat on my desk chair.
“Yeah, she’d be planning the wedding already.” Gray chuckled under his breath. “At the very least, you’d be forced to bring her to family dinner on Sunday night.”
“I really don’t want to subject Violet to that.”
“I wouldn’t either although Paige would probably like someone to keep her company. Darling family dinners can be a lot.”
“Nah, Paige loves it.” She had been coming to our family dinners every Sunday for years. She was the only one of our friends Mom allowed us to invite, and I was convinced it was because she was secretly trying to get Grayson and Paige together.
“Well, maybe you’ll think about bringing Violet when you’ve been dating a little longer,” Grayson added. “Though, I think you’ll struggle to avoid it once Mom finds out about her. It’s a miracle she hasn’t heard already.”
I nodded, but I was struggling to meet his eyes because I hated lying to Gray. Parker might be a loudmouth, but I knew Gray would keep it to himself if I told him the truth. I wasn’t really sure why I hadn’t just been straight with him from the beginning. Probably because I didn’t want to admit I was living a lie.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide it from him for long, so I drew in a breath and finally came out with the truth. “We’re not really dating.”
“What?”
I slowly sat up straight on my bed. “Violet and me. We’re not really dating. Our relationship isn’t real.”
Grayson’s eyebrows pulled together. “What are you talking about?”
I took my time as I tried my best to explain how Violet and I had come to our arrangement. I told him what really happened at the bonfire. How Violet wanted to get Hoffman off her back and how I’d pretended I wanted to stop girls from throwing themselves at me when in reality I just wanted to spend more time with her. However, I almost immediately regretted opening up to Grayson because the judgment in his eyes was clear.
“This can only end badly. You know that, right?” My brother had never been one to sugarcoat things.
“Probably not my best idea,” I agreed. “But I really like her. And with her refusing to date hockey players and all the crap people say about me, this is the only way I’d ever have a chance with her.”
Grayson rubbed his fingers along the ridge of his nose as though he was regretting his decision to follow me in here. “I thought Parker was the only brother I had to worry about,” he finally said.
“You don’t have to worry about me. I’ve got a handle on the situation.”
“A handle on the situation? It sounds like you’re already half in love with the girl.”
His words struck me silent because I wasn’t sure I could deny them.
Grayson must have realized that because he let out a weary sigh. “Just don’t get your heart broken. You didn’t do too well the last time…”
I narrowed my eyes on him, and Grayson lifted his hands to signal he wouldn’t go any further down that road.
“All I’m saying is be careful” he added before he stood and started from the room.
“Gray?”
He paused by the door.
“Please don’t mention this to anyone. I feel stupid enough as it is chasing a girl like this.”
He gave me a brief nod, turned, and left. Once he was gone, I collapsed back down onto the bed. I hated that Grayson had brought up Natalie, but he was right about me needing to be careful. I hadn’t let myself feel this way about a girl in a long time, and now I finally had, I’d unfortunately fallen for a girl who was adamant I was the wrong guy for her. I could only hope things ended differently this time than they did in freshman year.
At school the next day, I noticed a lot of people giving me curious looks. The attention wasn’t entirely unusual, but I had a feeling the hushed whispers that followed me today had little to do with a ridiculous new rumor or my latest performance on the ice. I suspected it was because I’d been seen out on a date with Violet last night.
“I don’t know why you’re surprised.” Matt said when I brought it up with him. “Of course, people are going to talk.” We were slowly making our way to our lockers after lunch, where it had felt like the entire cafeteria was focused on me. “Showing up at Nino’s with Violet last night was about as official as you can get. You might as well have thrown your jersey on her.”
“Yeah, Violet isn’t really into hockey, so I can’t imagine she’d be too keen on that.”
Matt laughed. “Well, hockey aversion aside, she seems cool. And by the way she was looking at you last night, I’d say she’s really into you.”
I tried my best to ignore his comment. Matt didn’t know my relationship with Violet wasn’t real. Whatever he thought he saw in her eyes when she looked at me couldn’t be real either.
“Did she really call you a pig the first time you met?” I wished I hadn’t told him that, but it had accidentally come out when I’d been trying to explain how I’d ended up dating Hoffman’s ex-girlfriend. I needed to watch what I said if I didn’t want Matt to get suspicious.
“Yeah, we got off to a slightly rocky start.”
Matt grinned. “Sounds like she had you all figured out from day one.”
“Why am I friends with you again?”
He laughed, but chose to ignore my question “Anyway, I think you’re good together. Even if she is from Sunshine Prep and hates hockey.”
I really wished he’d move on from talking about Violet, because the longer he did, the more guilty I felt that I hadn’t told my best friend the truth. I didn’t have it in me though. Especially not after the reaction I’d gotten from Grayson.
“I’m just doing my best not to scare her off,” I replied. It was particularly hard because of the strength of my feelings for her. If she knew I wasn’t playing pretend, we’d be over faster than I could blink.
“A challenge for you, I’m sure.” He smirked. “Especially given all the shit she’ll have heard about you.”
“I’m working on that,” I said. I was doing my best to put any worries she had about the rumor mill to bed. “I think she knows most of the rumors aren’t true.”
“But not all of them. Just last week, I heard a new one. Apparently you made some freshman wet his pants because you looked at him the wrong way.”
I grimaced. “Actually, I think that one might be true.”
“Seriously?”
“What?” I shrugged. “I can’t help it if people think I’m terrifying.”
“Poor kid.” Matt shook his head. “If only he knew the truth that you’re really more of a cuddly bear than a grizzly one.”
“No one must ever know,” I joked.
“So, when are you seeing her again?”
Apparently, we were talking about Violet again. “Tomorrow night,” I replied. “There’s a few things left to do on her car, then I’m going to drop it off at her place after school.”
“Didn’t realize Danny did drop-offs.” Matt was smirking again.
“He doesn’t.”
“Like I said, Darling, you’re just a big cuddly teddy bear.”
I grunted in reply. Mostly because I knew there was little point arguing.
I managed to keep Matt off the topic of Violet until we eventually went our separate ways to our next classes. When I arrived at English lit, I took my usual seat at the back of the room. I was actually glad to be in class for once. I needed the distraction. But only a moment passed before the seat beside me was filled and my peace was over.
“What’s this I hear about you falling in love with a Sunshine Hills girl?” Paige asked, beaming up at me.
It seemed like Violet was all anyone wanted to talk about today. It was bigger news than if I’d just announced I was skipping college and heading straight for the NHL. I knew it had been a while since I’d dated anyone, but it wasn’t that shocking, was it?
“Grayson been gossiping again, has he?” I could only hope he hadn’t told Paige too much about Violet and me.
Paige let out a light laugh. It was so genuine and filled with delight. “Grayson? Gossiping?”
“It’s been known to happen.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, tilting her head. “I think he’d rather have his tongue removed than wag it around with something as useless as gossip.”
She had a point. Grayson hated talking about other people. But then again, he hated talking at all unless it was totally necessary.
“So, you’ve heard all the chatter today then?” I asked. “I didn’t realize so many people saw us at Nino’s last night.”
“Well, that, and Parker did a whole Instagram story last night about the fact you’d found love.”
Damn it. Of course, my younger brother was the one to blame. It was rare that he wasn’t. I’d muted Parker on Instagram months ago because his posts were incessant and, like him, they drove me crazy. I should have known it would come back to bite me in the ass.
“I’m going to kill him.”
“That seems fair,” Paige replied with a grin. “I’m sure most of the school saw it after all.”
“You’re really not making me feel any less murderous.”
“Oh, come on, Reed. You wouldn’t hurt a fly.”
“Why do people keep saying that today,” I mumbled.
“What?” She sounded innocent enough, but her eyes sparkled in reaction. “Maybe because it’s true.”
“It’s not. You’ve seen me play. Our opponents have been known to fake injuries to avoid coming up against me. The rest tend to dodge the puck at all costs when I’m on the ice.”
“You sound like Parker.”
“Please never say that.”
“Besides,” she continued, totally ignoring me. “I like to think the aggression you display on the ice is just another one of your hockey skills. It’s something you only use in games. You’re nothing like that off the ice.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t need the idiots at our school knowing that.”
She let out a sigh. “I hate that you’re always trying to be something you’re not. Grayson hates it too.”
“If Grayson has a problem with me, he can tell me himself. Plus, he’s just as much a Darling Devil as I am.”
Paige laughed, and her eyes sparkled. “That’s because Grayson’s scowl genuinely is terrifying. But you’re an ooey-gooey marshmallow on the inside, and Gray and I both wish everyone else knew it.”
I lowered my head into my hands. “Can we please talk about something else.”
“Naw, but this is so much fun.”
I glanced up at her, my eyes pleading with her to give me a break.
She simply winked. “Does Violet know?”
“Know what?”
“About your soft fluffy center?”
I glared at Paige, which only made her face light up even more. “We haven’t known each other very long,” I replied. “She’s heard more about my devilish reputation than my squishy inner core.”
“Well, just tell her the Reed Darling she’s heard about isn’t the real Reed Darling.”
“I’ve told her I like to maintain a certain level of infamy for hockey.”
“I’m not talking about hockey,” she said. “I’m talking about the fact everyone thinks you’re some serial heartbreaker when really you’re the one who got—”
“I don’t want to talk about that with Violet. I don’t want to talk about that with anyone.”
“I’m just saying, if you opened up to her, she’d be able to understand why you’ve got such an unfair reputation,” Paige continued. “I know it’s been a while since you let anyone in, especially a girl like Violet. But freshman year was a long time ago—”
“Okay!” I interrupted her again. “Okay, I’ll think about it.”
Paige shot me a skeptical glance, clearly unsure whether to believe me. She was right to be suspicious. I had no intention of telling Violet the embarrassing and painful details of my breakup with Natalie. I was already worried I’d bitten off more than I could handle with this fake relationship. Opening myself up even more was just asking for trouble.
“Good.” Paige nodded as though her work was done. “Now, when do I get to meet her. Is she coming to family dinner on Sunday night?”
“What? No!” I almost choked on the words. But then my eyes narrowed with suspicion. Grayson had also mentioned bringing Violet to family dinner. The two of them had definitely been talking—or plotting, more like it. “It’s too early to subject her to my family,” I added.
“Don’t be silly. I’m sure she’ll love them.”
“Then it’s too early to subject her to you.”
She laughed. “She’s going to love me too.”
I didn’t know a single person who didn’t love Paige. She was impossible to dislike. Though, with all these questions she was asking about Violet, I was beginning to wonder if perhaps it was easier than I thought.
I’d instinctively dismissed the idea of Violet coming to family dinner, but as I considered it, I was surprised to find I enjoyed the thought of her getting to know my family. My house was chaos, and my family, especially my siblings, were a lot to handle. Still, I had a feeling she’d fit right in. Besides, it wouldn’t be long before my mom found out about Violet and personally invited her. Especially now that Parker had publicly announced my relationship status on social media.
Perhaps I should ask Violet to come. I’d have to think of a way to link it to our agreement so she didn’t become suspicious about why I wanted her there. And there was also the chance my family would scare her off. But a stupid part of me wanted to take the risk. There was nowhere I was more myself than at home. If I did somehow find the courage to open up to Violet as Paige suggested, that was the best place to do it.
“You really like her, don’t you?” Paige’s voice pulled me from my thoughts, and I glanced across at her.
“I barely know her.” I shrugged.
She shook her head but retained her gentle smile. How could she see through me so easily?
“Whatever, Reed,” she said with a wink. “I look forward to meeting Violet on Sunday.”
