“I CAN’T BELIEVE you got chased by the cops and made out with a Darling Devil this weekend. The most exciting thing I did was sit at home and watch a Minnesota Wild game with my dad,” Mia complained as we made our way to the cafeteria for lunch on Monday. I’d told her about my kiss with Reed on Sunday night, and she hadn’t stopped talking about it since.
“How is that fair?” she continued.
“Do you have to talk about it so loudly?” I hissed.
“Talk about what?” she replied with a wide grin and projected her voice even farther down the hallway. “Your steamy ice kiss with Reed freaking Darling?’
“Stop!” I gasped, slapping her on the arm.
“What’s the problem? I’m surprised you’re not shouting it from the rooftops yourself.”
I shook my head at her. “Well, that would be a bit odd seeing as everyone is supposed to think we’re in a relationship already. Plus, I’m more worried about people thinking I got chased by the cops. It was just some Saints players pulling a prank.”
“True,” she replied. “I’m impressed they had the balls to do it. Although I guess it’s not that unusual.”
“What do you mean?”
“Every season before the Saints and the Devils play each other, they try to psych the other team out and get in their heads,” Mia explained. “Last year, some of our players snuck into Ransom High and covered the grounds in Saints posters and glued angel feathers all over their devil mascot.”
“Angel feathers?”
“Well, it was supposed to look like an angel,” she clarified. “I’m assuming the feathers came from some unfortunate local chickens.”
“Wow.” I shook my head. “They take this hockey rival thing really seriously, don’t they?”
“It is serious!” Mia gasped. “The Devils got payback by padlocking every entrance to our ice rink so the team couldn’t practice the day before the game.”
“Okay, okay. So, when are they playing each other?”
“Uh, the game’s this weekend. You didn’t know?”
I shook my head. This was the first I’d heard about it. Given how hockey crazy everyone at school was, I must have been the only person completely oblivious to the fact the game was coming up. The strangest thing was that Reed hadn’t mentioned it once.
“So, tell me about the kiss again,” Mia said. “How steamy are we talking? I need details.”
“Oh my gosh, stop saying steamy. I’m not giving you details.”
“Come on. I haven’t kissed anyone in forever.”
“Nope.”
“At least tell me how Reed reacted when you guys kissed. I was the one who told you to do it, after all.”
Mia did make a valid argument. She’d convinced me that kissing Reed would help me find out whether he had feelings for me or not. In the end, he made it pretty clear even before we kissed. But I guessed I owed Mia some form of answer. “He reacted like it meant something to him,” I said. “Like it was real.”
“Why can’t I have something real?” She sighed dreamily in response. “Hell, I’d take something fake at this point.”
As we passed Mia’s locker, she decided she needed to stop and grab some lip balm. “So does all this mean you guys are done playing pretend?” she asked as she rummaged through her bag.
“Maybe.” My brow furrowed. “I’m not sure. We didn’t exactly get a chance to talk about it.”
“But you’ll talk about it when you meet up tonight, right? And make it official?”
“Uh, I don’t know, Mia.” I was surprised by how uncertain her question made me feel. I’d thought a lot about the kiss since Sunday morning, but until now, I had avoided thinking about what it meant going forward. Was our fake relationship now over? Was that what Reed wanted? Was I really about to start dating another hockey player? These were all questions I didn’t need to answer when I was living happily in a perfect post-kiss bubble.
“Right, I get it,” she replied with a mischievous grin. “There won’t be much talking when you see him tonight.”
“You know that’s not what I mean,” I said. “But you’re probably right. I do need to talk to him.”
Mia seemed to sense the change in my mood because she reached out and rubbed my arm. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about. You know he cares about you.”
“I think so.” I nodded. “That doesn’t mean he wants a relationship with me.”
“And what about you?” she said. “Are you sure you want one with him? You seemed pretty set on sticking to your no-jock rule after Jeremy…”
“I thought you wanted me to go for it.”
“I’m just playing devil’s advocate…”
I shook my head at her.
“Seriously, though,” she continued. “You shouldn’t feel like you have to rush into another relationship. I’m sure Reed would wait if that’s what you wanted.”
I fell silent as I considered what she said. I’d been so caught up in my feelings I hadn’t really thought about whether I was rushing into things with Reed. Whether I was ready to break my own rule again and get into another relationship. But when I considered the alternative, the thought of not being with Reed, I felt a little empty inside.
“I want to be with him, Mia. I want to be with him for real.”
Her face had been serious, but a wide smile suddenly lit up her features. “Good. Because I’m almost certain he wants the same thing.”
When she finally found her lip balm, she closed her locker and skipped off toward the cafeteria. I had to jog to catch up with her.
“You’re very invested in this,” I said. “Reed and I, that is.”
“Oh, I’m totally invested. I didn’t do enough to help you avoid Jerkemy. And I think Reed might be good for you.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.”
I didn’t have a chance to wonder if she was right because Mia’s face scrunched with distaste. “Speaking of Jerkemy…”
I followed her line of vision to where my ex was lingering at the entrance to the cafeteria. When he spotted us coming toward him, he straightened and forced out a friendly smile. It was obvious he wanted to talk to me, but I could think of nothing worse. Ducking into the girls’ bathroom felt like a far more appealing option.
“Cover for me?” I begged Mia.
“With pleasure,” she replied.
I disappeared into the closest bathroom and released a relieved breath as I heard Mia loudly telling Jeremy he must have imagined seeing me with her. He’d tried to corner me a few times last week, and apparently, he was going to keep trying this week too. I’d been dodging him as best I could. Was Jeremy ever going to accept I’d moved on? Maybe he would now that I actually had.
When I arrived at the ice arena for Reed’s practice that evening, I couldn’t tell if the goose bumps on my skin were from the cold or the nerves I was feeling at the thought of seeing him again. I was definitely anxious but also filled with excitement and anticipation all at once.
Only a day had passed since we’d kissed on the ice, but that day had stretched on like forever, and it had felt like tonight was never going to come. I wasn’t exactly sure where we stood after our kiss. But I did know I was done with our fake relationship, and I was hopeful he was too.
I hurried across the parking lot, driven by both my desperation to see Reed and my desperation to get out of the cold. But just as I reached the front door to the arena, someone behind me grabbed the door handle, pulling it open for me. I was already so on edge and full of adrenaline that the gesture took me by surprise. My pulse quickened further still when I saw Jeremy propping the door open.
“After you,” he said, waving me through the door. I glared at him for a second, not sure I wanted to accept even the smallest gesture of help from him, but then I took a breath and stepped through the entrance.
“Violet, hold on,” he called after me, but I ignored him and kept walking. At least, I tried to.
Jeremy grabbed my arm and yanked me to a stop. “Look, I know you don’t want to speak to me, but this is important.”
I ripped myself from him his grasp. “I’ve got nothing to say to you, Jeremy.”
“Please, Violet. You need to hear this.”
“Now’s not a good time. I’m already running late.”
I started to walk away from him, but this time, I was stopped in my tracks by Jeremy’s voice. “He’s using you!”
He’d shouted it so loudly several people who were hanging out in the foyer glanced our way. It felt like I was always cold these days, but the chill his words sent down my spine caused my whole body to shiver.
I slowly turned to face him. I didn’t want to make a scene, especially when I knew Reed would soon be finished with practice and could show up any minute. Tonight wasn’t supposed to be about my ex, and I knew I should ignore him and just keep walking. But something made me hesitate, and there was a feeling in my gut that told me I should at least hear him out.
I glanced around to make sure we weren’t drawing any more attention and took a few steps toward him.
“What are you talking about?”
Jeremy tentatively edged closer to me as though he was worried a single wrong word might spook me. “Look, I know I messed up,” he said, readjusting the large bag slung over his shoulder. “And I know you hate me. But I still care about you, and I can’t sit by and do nothing anymore. Reed Darling is using you, Violet. He’s using you to get to me. To get in my head and throw me off my game.”
I sighed and shook my head. Was Jeremy so arrogant he thought this was all about him?
“My relationship with Reed has nothing to do with you.” I replied tightly. It might have started that way, but I liked to believe it didn’t anymore.
“Come on, Violet. Don’t you think it’s just a little convenient Reed suddenly decided to date the ex-girlfriend of his biggest rival?”
‘Jeremy, stop…”
“And that he started going out with you right before we faced off on the ice in the biggest game of the season. You know we have a game against each other this weekend, right?”
My stomach dipped because that was something I’d only learned today. Was this why Reed hadn’t mentioned it? Had he deliberately kept it from me?
Jeremy must have assumed my silence meant I didn’t know, so he continued. “Reed and I are playing each other this Saturday, Violet.” He repeated it a little softer this time as though he was gently trying to make it sink in. One part stuck with me in particular: the game was this Saturday.
That was the same Saturday as Reed’s winter formal. The final day of our fake relationship. I wanted to ignore Jeremy’s accusation, but a lump was forming in my throat. The fact my arrangement with Reed was due to end immediately after such a big game between him and Jeremy felt off.
“This game means a lot to everyone,” Jeremy added. “But it’s different for Reed. He will do anything to win.”
From the way he was looking at me, I knew he meant I was that anything. I drew my arms around myself, wishing I could just shut out what Jeremy was saying.
“Why would he do that?” The words rushed out of me. “Why would Reed go to such lengths to get an edge in a game of hockey?”
Jeremy’s lips twisted in a look of sympathy. “He hasn’t told you, has he?”
“Told me what?”
“That Reed and I used to be friends.”
“What?” His words bounced around in my mind, but no matter which way I considered them, I failed to believe they were true. Reed and Jeremy hated each other. I’d heard plenty of shocking things about Reed over the last few weeks, but somehow this was the least believable of them all. Everything else my ex was saying at least seemed plausible, but this was just a step too far.
Jeremy released a long, hard sigh. “It’s true. Ever since we were kids. We were inseparable on and off the ice.”
“But didn’t he break your nose a few years ago?”
“He did.” Jeremy nodded solemnly. “All because a girl he liked happened to pick me over him. Natalie and I got together in freshman year, and Reed couldn’t handle it. He tried to steal her away from me, but when he realized he couldn’t, he got his revenge another way. He’s been out to get me ever since.”
Silence hung between us. I didn’t want to let Jeremy’s words get to me, but I couldn’t seem to shake the things he’d told me. “I-I don’t believe you.” I could barely get the words out.
“I’m telling the truth. Here, I’ll show you…”
He took me by the arm and pulled me toward one of the trophy cases that lined the walls by the entrance. He walked straight up to the glass and pressed a finger firmly against it. There were countless awards, statues, and pictures in the cabinet, but Jeremy was pointing at a large wooden trophy that took pride of place on one shelf. Above it, there was a picture of a hockey team. The kids in the picture must have been around twelve at the time, and right in the center were Jeremy and Reed with their arms around each other’s shoulders and wide grins on their faces.
Anyone who knew the pair would have recognized it as them immediately, but any doubts I might have had were quashed when I saw both their names listed at the bottom of the photo, side by side.
I quickly shook my head. “No, you can’t have been friends. He would have told me.”
“Like he told you about Natalie? And the game this weekend?”
Jeremy lifted a hand and gently rubbed my arm as I stood staring into the trophy cabinet in stunned silence. I wanted to deny everything he had said, but as I stared at a younger version of Reed, I wasn’t sure I could. There was no denying what I saw in the photo. A clear bond between Jeremy and Reed.
“He wasn’t always a Darling Devil,” Jeremy murmured. “Once upon a time, he was very different. The day he broke my nose was the day everything changed…”
His words caused an involuntary shiver to run down my back. Jeremy must have taken my reaction as acceptance, and he sounded slightly more confident when he continued.
“I’m sorry, Violet, but you can’t trust him. Everything Reed has said to you or done for you has all been to make you fall in love with him so he can get his revenge. He wants to destroy my game and steal my girl. He wants to take everything from me.”
My mind started to spiral as I thought it over. If Jeremy was right, that meant everything about my relationship with Reed had been fake—even the parts I’d felt certain were real. Him going out of his way to help me with my car, inviting me to family dinner, and kissing me on the ice. Had Reed been playing me since the moment we met? I wasn’t sure what to believe or what to think. But I was staring at a photo of Jeremy and Reed together. A photo of something I thought was impossible. And all I could think as I looked at it was, maybe, I didn’t know as much as I thought.
Was this why Reed had been so quick to agree to our arrangement? Because I wasn’t the only one who had wanted Jeremy to pay. Because I was Reed’s perfect revenge.
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s not true. I know it isn’t.” No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t make myself sound convinced.
‘I’m really sorry, Vi,” Jeremy said, the look of sympathy returning to his face. “I wish it wasn’t.”
He walked off without another word, leaving me still staring at the photo that sparked a thousand questions and just as many doubts.
Jeremy had said that Reed Darling would do anything to win, and Reed had once told me something similar: that it was his job as captain to do whatever it took to guarantee victory. Could I really just be a tool to help Reed achieve that? A way to make Jeremy pay for a perceived wrong years ago? Was it possible that Reed only kissed me yesterday to make me foolishly believe this could be real?
I’d been coming here in the hopes of ending our fake relationship. I thought I was ready to take a risk and see what we could be when all the rules and restrictions were stripped away. But now I wasn’t so sure.
There were so many questions churning through my mind, most of which I was afraid to have answered. This was exactly what I’d wanted to avoid and why I didn’t want another relationship. But, more importantly, this was why I had my rule against dating jocks. Never trust boys with killer smiles and strong right arms, my mom had always told me. And run in the opposite direction if a guy’s life revolved around a sport.
I didn’t want Jeremy to be right, but deep down, a part of me already believed he was. Amid the haze of emotions and uncertainty that was clouding my mind, a single thought shone clearly. As much as my heart might resist, I knew I needed to put a stop to this before I got really hurt.
