“YOU NEED to stop smiling like that,” Grayson said. “It’s freaking people out.”
A few of the rookies who were sitting on a bench on the other side of the locker room were staring uneasily at me. To be fair, Grayson had a point. I’d been staring off into space with a wide grin on my face because training was finally over for the evening, and I was about to see Violet again.
“Yeah, dude,” Parker said from the other side of me. “It’s especially weird when most of the guys are only wearing towels…”
The smile quickly dropped from my face, and I thumped my younger brother.
“Hey,” Parker complained, rubbing his arm.
“Go find someone else to annoy.” I finished packing away my gear and threw my bag over my shoulder. “I’ll see you both at home later.”
“Have fun with Violet,” Parker crooned.
I shot him a scowl, but I couldn’t manage to keep it on my face for long. My chest felt like it was glowing with warmth as I left the locker room. And each step I took seemed to spread the heat further as my anticipation built. I knew it was early days and that Violet and I still hadn’t talked about what we were doing moving forward. But a kiss like that could only mean good things, right?
I expected to find Violet waiting for me by the ice, but as I walked past and found no sign of her, I decided to head for the front entrance. A few Sunshine Prep players were arriving for practice, and they all shot me cold and menacing scowls as we passed. The game this weekend was going to be brutal, and I knew losing wasn’t an option. My teammates and I wouldn’t be able to show our faces around the rink again if we didn’t beat the Saints.
I was nearing the foyer when I spotted Hoffman heading toward me. God, I hated him. Even the way he walked pissed me off. It was more of a strut than a walk. His chin was always lifted toward the ceiling, and he seemed to thrust his arms away from his body, as if he was trying to make himself appear bigger.
When he spotted me up ahead, he made a beeline for me. I was not in the mood for a confrontation with him. Especially when I was about to meet Violet. But I squared my shoulders as he approached. I had no idea what to expect out of him, but I had to be prepared for anything.
“Ready for our game on Saturday?” he asked with a smirk.
I gave him a cold stare in response, refusing to engage in his games. “What are you playing at, Hoffman?”
“Just being polite,” he replied. “It’s going to be a hard week for you when I win the game and my girl back.”
“Good luck with that,” I scoffed before shouldering past him.
There was an especially smarmy look on Hoffman’s face I didn’t like. That was hardly unusual though. The only thing I liked about Jeremy’s face was his crooked nose.
I continued on my way to the foyer in search of Violet, and I smiled when I found her standing near one of the trophy cabinets. She looked lost in thought as she stared aimlessly through the glass. I hoped she hadn’t been waiting for me too long.
“Hey, Sunshine,” I said when I reached her.
“Hey,” she murmured. When she turned from the glass to face me, her gaze stayed low, and I felt a pang of anxiety in my chest when her eyes didn’t meet mine.
“Are you okay?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“You sure?”
“Yep.”
Her downcast eyes and one-word answers told a different story though. She didn’t seem okay at all. What could have upset her? Maybe it was because Jeremy was lurking around the arena.
“Has Jeremy been bothering you again?”
She shook her head.
“What then? It’s me, Violet. You can talk to me.”
A sick feeling swirled in my stomach as she continued to avoid my gaze. She was closed up, keeping her thoughts and feelings deep within herself, protecting them. Could she be having second thoughts about us? Had our kiss been too much for her? Was she regretting breaking all her rules? She’d had a day to consider it now, and perhaps she’d had a change of heart since then.
She drew in a breath. “So, you’re playing the Saints this weekend?”
It certainly wasn’t what I’d expected her to say, and I was still trying to figure out what was bothering her. It was probably another rumor. The game was the last thing I wanted to talk about right now, and it felt like she was just trying to distract me.
“Yeah, that’s right…” I replied with some caution.
“It sounds like it’s a big game.”
“The biggest.”
Her eyes drifted to the trophy cabinet beside us, and she traced her fingers across the glass as she spoke. ‘I guess it’s important that you win, then?”
“It’s important we win every game.” I was still watching her closely, trying to figure her out. “But you’re right. Losing really isn’t an option this Saturday. I’d do just about anything to win.”
“Anything?”
“Uh, almost. Anything legal, that is. You haven’t heard a rumor I threatened the refs or something, have you?”
“No,” she replied softly.
“That’s a relief.” I gave an uncomfortable laugh, unsure where this line of questioning had come from. “So, will you be able to make it?”
“I’m not sure,” she murmured, lowering her fingers from the glass.
Maybe she had to work. She always seemed to be scheduled at the coffee shop when I played. “Well, it might be a good game for you to come to if you can,” I suggested. “If you’re going to see me beat anyone, who better than your ex?”
Her eyes suddenly whipped up, and the pain and sorrow I saw there filled me with dread.
“What?” I asked her.
She gave a slight shake of her head, but I could see she was suffering. Her lips were tightly shut, and her shoulders were slumped. My mind raced as I tried to figure out why she was reacting this way. All I’d done was ask her to come to my hockey game. What was so bad about that?
“I don’t think I can do this anymore,” she said.
“What are you talking about?”
“This.” She waved her hand between the two of us. “I never wanted to get involved with another hockey player. This was meant to be a simple, straightforward arrangement, but it’s gotten out of hand.”
Her words were like a dagger to my chest. This was exactly why I’d been so cautious about telling her how I felt. I knew she wasn’t interested in dating another hockey player, but I’d stupidly opened up to her and kissed her, and now she was running scared.
“It’s my fault,” she continued. “I never should have started this thing with you in the first place.”
The delicate threads holding us together were unraveling, and I didn’t know how to keep them from falling apart.
“Violet, you know I’m not like these other guys that you’re so wary of.”
“Do I?” she replied.
Her words punched me in the gut, but I kept soldiering on, trying to fix whatever was broken between us.
“Yes, you do,” I said, more firmly. “Because I’m not. I know I might have come on too strong, and I know that’s scary after you’ve been hurt so badly. But can’t you see that I will never do that to you. I’m nothing like Jeremy, and I’m nothing like your dad. Forget your rules. We’re perfect for each other.”
She was shaking her head, and while I could tell she was thinking a million things, she didn’t say one of them out loud.
“Please, Violet, talk to me. I can’t fix this if you don’t talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to fix,” she said. “I know our arrangement was meant to end this weekend, but I think it’s best if we call it off now.”
“I’m pretty sure our arrangement ended when we kissed yesterday,” I replied. “Because everything became real.”
“It’s never been real, Reed. It can’t have been.”
“No, Violet. The truth is, it’s never been fake. Not for me.”
Her expression was torn, and evidence of her pain flashed across her face. With the way she was reacting and the vulnerability in her gaze, I knew for sure she had developed feelings for me as well. I thought—hoped—that she would finally believe what I was trying to tell her. But she blinked, and a resolute look entered her eyes. “I wish I could believe you,” she whispered. “But I heard a rumor you couldn’t be trusted. And I think it might have been right.”
“Violet…”
“This is for the best,” she said. “I’m done pretending.”
She wrapped her arms around herself and pushed through the front entrance before heading out into the light snow that was drifting across the parking lot. She never once looked back, and with each step she took, my heart clenched tighter, like it was slowly being crushed by a vice.
I’d messed up. I knew Violet was scared of getting her heart broken again. I’d been though the same thing, and I’d been protecting myself in just the same way since freshman year. But I couldn’t resist telling her how I felt, and it had ruined everything. I usually knew just how to fix things. It was why I enjoyed working on cars. But our relationship wasn’t as simple as a broken engine. And, for once, I didn’t know what to do.
