I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER than to fall for another hockey player. I’d been beating myself up with that same thought all week. Athletes weren’t like us normal people. They lived their lives like they were playing by a different set of rules and all that mattered was winning the game. I should have known better.
No matter how many times I repeated that phrase in my mind, I still jumped back and forth all week about whether I’d done the right thing in breaking things off with Reed. I didn’t want to believe what Jeremy had told me, but I kept coming to the same conclusion. Our fake relationship was all too convenient, and the reasoning Jeremy gave made far too much sense.
His warnings about Reed reminded me exactly why I was so wary of jocks. To them, I would always come in second to their own pride and the game they loved so much. The allure of victory was always their ultimate motivation, and it blinded them to everything else. A relationship built on that was always going to end in disappointment and heartache.
Reed’s words at the ice arena had also hit me hard. I’d already decided to end our relationship early, but the way he’d confirmed he’d do practically anything to win and then suggested I come to the game to watch him beat Jeremy had only solidified the decision in my mind. It made me feel like everything Jeremy had said was true. And it made the thought of dating another hockey player fill me with such a clawing sense of claustrophobia that I’d needed to get out of the arena, out of my fake relationship, and as far away from the feelings I had for Reed as possible.
Even if Reed did harbor some feelings for me too, we’d only known each other a few weeks. Could they really eclipse his hatred for my ex and his determination to defeat him in their upcoming game?
He’d tried to contact me constantly this week, but I’d ignored every call. I didn’t know whether I could believe a single thing that came out of his mouth, and it felt much safer to keep my distance entirely. I couldn’t risk seeing him or even hearing his voice because I knew it would test my resolve to the breaking point. I had to stay strong.
However, reminders of Reed followed me constantly at school. The game and the rivalry between the Devils and the Saints was all anyone talked about. By Friday, I was more aware than ever before of just how much this game meant to the team and everyone else at school. The corridors had been transformed with gold and white streamers hanging from every surface. And if I didn’t already hate Jeremy’s face enough, every wall was plastered with posters of the Saints players, and everywhere I went, there he was, leering back at me.
Even the teachers were excited for the game, some going so far as to wear golden outfits in support. Luke must have been the odd one out. He either forgot his school had such a big game coming up or he was wearing a red tie in protest. Reed had certainly made an impression on him, and I didn’t have the heart to tell my uncle it had all been a big, fat lie.
When the school day ended on Friday, I was relieved to escape beyond the walls that were practically bursting with school spirit. Mia had a debate meet tonight, so I walked to my car alone once the final bell rang. As I reached Betty, I noticed a tall figure leaning against her. My heart skipped a beat when I realized it was a Darling Devil, just not the one I might have expected.
“Grayson?” I said as I approached him. “What are you doing here?”
He eased himself off my car as he straightened. Even though he was only slightly taller than Reed, it felt like he was towering over me. And despite the fact he was behind enemy lines, he held himself calmly and confidently. He was wearing his Ransom Devils sweats, making no effort to hide his identity from the many Sunshine Prep students who were walking past through the parking lot, either whispering about him or shooting him death glares. I wondered if he even noticed because he had no reaction. Maybe he was so used to being despised by people in Sunshine Hills that the negative attention just deflected straight off him.
“I’m here to talk about you and Reed,” he said.
“Well, I’m sorry you came all the way over here, but I’ve got nothing to say.”
Grayson was standing right in front of my driver’s side door, and while I knew he wouldn’t stop me from getting in the car, I didn’t exactly feel like moving him out the way. A small part of me was also intrigued by what he had come to say despite what I’d just told him.
“Reed’s a mess, Violet.”
“He is?” My chest clenched. Reed wasn’t the only one.
Grayson nodded. “He’s been a mess all week. I pretty much have to drag him out of bed to get him to school each morning. And he’s all over the place at training. I’m worried about him.”
My arms instinctively crossed over my chest, skepticism creeping into my thoughts. “Are you sure you’re not just worried about the game this weekend?”
Grayson frowned at me as though the concept that he would lie to me or try to trick me was completely foreign to him. “No, that’s not what I mean. Why would you say that?”
I hesitated before I answered. I didn’t want to discuss what Jeremy had told me with Grayson. He’d only deny it to protect his brother. But also, I still felt a little ashamed that my ex’s words had gotten to me so easily.
“I just know that the game is the most important thing to Reed right now.”
Grayson’s trademark frown was still creasing his forehead, but his expression somehow seemed softer. “Do you really believe that?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
He shook his head, like he was disappointed in me. “Because if you knew Reed at all, you would know that’s bullshit,” he replied. “There’s plenty that matters more to him than the game. Like his family, his friends. And now, you.”
His answer cut me deeply, and I struggled to stop tears from welling in my eyes. I thought I knew Reed. I thought I might be one of the few people who actually saw the real him. But the doubt Jeremy had cast over our time together had made me question absolutely everything.
“Look, Violet,” Grayson continued. “I don’t know what you’re feeling, and I’m sure you have your reasons for not being with Reed. But I do know how he’s feeling. He cares about you. He has done since the first time he saw you kicking your car.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because he told me. I’ve known about the fake relationship from the start, and the only reason he agreed to that was because he liked you. Because he knew about your stance on hockey players, and he thought this deal was his only chance at spending time with you.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but he cut me off.
“I tried to convince him to tell you the truth, but he wouldn’t. He was worried if he came on too strong he’d scare you away, and it seems that’s exactly what’s happened.”
His stare was penetrating, cutting through all the excuses I’d used to convince myself Reed was a bad idea like a razor-sharp knife. Grayson was right. I was scared. But I wasn’t running away because Reed had come on too strong like he suggested. I was terrified because my feelings for Reed were too strong, and I couldn’t risk repeating past mistakes. I’d been screwed over by a hockey player before, and the risk that was going to happen again felt too great. So, yes, I’d fled at the first sign of trouble. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t the right decision. Not when, despite Grayson’s attempts at reassuring me, I still harbored lingering doubts about what Reed’s true intentions were.
“I’m sorry, Grayson,” I whispered. “It’s just not going to work out. But, good luck with your game tomorrow.”
He nodded as though he had nothing left to say. “I’m sorry, too.” He shrugged. “Just think about what I’ve said. So many people see the worst in Reed, but I didn’t think you were one of them.”
He turned and made his way back to his truck. I stayed rooted to the spot until he’d pulled out of the parking lot and disappeared around the corner. His parting words had caused a lump to form in my throat. I’d thought the same. That I’d never let myself get swayed by the wild rumors and gossip that constantly followed Reed around. I’d never been put off by his reputation. Until now.
If I’d been confused and upset before, my conversation with Grayson had only made it worse. But like he said himself, he didn’t know what I was feeling, and I did have reasons for not wanting to be with Reed. But with every day that passed, those reasons were becoming harder and harder to justify. For all I knew though, Grayson just wanted me to come to their game so Reed could shake off whatever was distracting him and play well enough to beat Jeremy and the Saints. Either way, I wasn’t going to be there to find out.
“You’re really not coming?” Mia asked. She was waiting by the counter at Hug in a Mug, dressed in warm clothes with her bright school scarf looped around her neck.
“I know you hate them both,” she said. “And you probably hope the ice rink melts, their sticks break, and they are cursed by a bad case of jock itch. But this is the biggest game of the season. Everyone from school will be there…”
“Jock itch, really?” I smirked.
“It was either that or crabs.” She leaned against the counter, adjusting her bag across her shoulder. “Would it really be that bad to come to the game?”
“Yeah, it really would,” I said. “Besides, can’t you see I’m working?”
She lifted an eyebrow as she surveyed the clean countertops, the freshly swept floors, and the empty café. Even the coffee machine was sparkling clean as it had barely been used today. “There’s no one here, Vi. The whole town’s at the game, and the weather’s so terrible I doubt you’re going to get customers anytime soon. I’m sure Nicole can cover for you.”
“I totally can,” Nicole called out from the storeroom.
I still couldn’t bring myself to contemplate it. I was trying to avoid the feelings that bubbled up inside me whenever I thought about Reed, so watching him play hockey certainly wasn’t going to help with that. “I think you should come,” Mia said. “I still refuse to believe Reed didn’t have real feelings for you.”
“I told you about his history with Jeremy…”
“Yeah, but does that really matter? You were using him to get to Jeremy too, if I recall.”
“And I was totally up front about that,” I murmured. “Why did he keep all this stuff from me?”
She shrugged. “I can’t answer that, Vi. But it’s not like he went out of his way to pursue you and trick you into dating him. You were the one who kissed him at the bonfire. The poor guy was just standing there minding his own business, and bam, your tongue was down his throat.”
“Mia,” I groaned. “You’re not helping.”
She let out a sigh and seemed to relax a little. “I’m just trying to make you realize that things between you and Reed aren’t as black-and-white as you think. Does it really matter why you both got into this fake relationship at the start if the feelings at the end were real?”
I knew she was talking sense, but I wasn’t in a very rational place right now. Maybe Reed had developed feelings for me over time, like I had for him, but that still didn’t explain why he was keeping so much from me. Jeremy’s story seemed to fill in those gaps.
Mia looked like she wanted to continue trying to convince me, but she could probably see how drained I was and thought better of it.
“I don’t have to go to the game,” she said, sympathy in her expression. “Do you want me to stay here?”
“And ruin your date with Grant? I don’t think so.”
She gave me a small smile. He’d finally asked her out. It might have only been to see a hockey game together, but I knew she was over the moon.
“Do I look okay?” she asked.
“Gorgeous,” I replied. “And you’re not even wearing your first-base outfit.”
She folded her arms and raised an eyebrow at me. “Uh, only because you ruined its magic by not kissing Reed that night. I’m still angry at you about that, by the way.”
“I kissed him the next day.”
“It’s not the same.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll find another piece of lucky clothing to replace it.”
“Oh, I have,” she replied. “I’m wearing my lucky lingerie.”
My eyes widened. “What?”
Mia laughed at my shocked expression. “Head out of the gutter, Vi. I didn’t say my get lucky lingerie.” She shook her head. “I was wearing this bra when Grant asked me out. I’m sure he’ll ask me on a second date since I’m wearing it today.”
“I’m sure he will too.”
She laughed once more, but as she glanced up at the clock, she swore. “I’m going to be late. Are you sure you don’t mind if I take your car?”
“It’s fine. It’s not like I’m using it.”
“Thanks. I owe you.” She rushed over to give me a hug. “I’ll text you updates about the game and boo whenever Reed or Jeremy have the puck.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Sure, I do.” She smiled. “I’ll see you later.”
And then she was gone. The café felt so much emptier without her in it, and I really wished we had some more customers to take my mind off Reed and the game. Nicole was doing inventory out back, so I couldn’t even chat with her to fill the silence. That left me alone with the many thoughts I was trying my best to avoid.
I decided to wipe down all the tables again to pass the time. And once that was done, I went over the chairs and menus too. I was interrupted by just one brave customer who had ventured out in the storm for a cup of coffee. They must have been the only person within a twenty-mile radius not at the hockey game. But serving them was a nice distraction, and I was relieved that all they wanted to talk about was the weather. Once they left, the silence returned, so I decided to clean and organize the storage shelves. This place was going to be sparkling before my shift was over.
When the bell above the front door chimed, I turned, hoping to see another customer, but I was surprised to find Paige bursting into the café.
“Paige?” I gasped. “What are you doing?” The big game had already stated. Surely, she should be at the arena watching Grayson and the other Darling boys play.
“What am I doing?” she said through panted breaths. “The more important question is, what are you doing?”
“Uh, I’m working.”
“Obviously,” she said. “But why aren’t you at the game?”
“Uh…” I was still getting over the shock of seeing her here. “Because Reed and I aren’t together anymore.”
“Yes, I heard. But he’s playing terribly, and I know it’s because you guys broke up. I don’t know what happened, no one will tell me, but I’m guessing he messed up somehow. Is there any way you can forgive him? I think he needs you there.”
I paused as I considered the best way to answer. I wasn’t sure how much Paige knew about my arrangement with Reed, but at this point there was no point in hiding the truth.
“There’s nothing to forgive. Reed and I were never really in a relationship, Paige.”
The way her eyebrows pulled together in a confused frown told me she’d been completely in the dark about our deal. “What do you mean?”
“We were only pretending to date.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Well, you might think it sounds ridiculous, but I needed to show my ex I’d moved on, so Reed agreed to help. And Reed…” I hesitated as the words stuck in my throat. “He had his reasons too.”
“Which were?” Paige prompted.
I didn’t know anymore. Reed had originally said it was to keep his adoring female fans off his back, Jeremy had told me it was for revenge, and just yesterday, Grayson said it was because Reed had liked me all along. I knew which one I wanted to believe, but that wasn’t the one I thought was genuine.
“My ex is the captain of the Sunshine Prep Saints, Jeremy Hoffman,” I said “Reed never mentioned it, but I recently found out he and Jeremy have a nasty history. I thought Reed was pretending to date me to ward off other girls, so he could concentrate on hockey, but I now know the real reason was to get back at Jeremy.”
Paige’s expression shifted back and forth between confusion and thoughtfulness as I spoke.
“Get back at him for what?”
“I guess Reed and Jeremy both liked the same girl a while back, but she chose Jeremy.”
Paige shook her head and then let out a hushed laugh. “Are you talking about what happened with Natalie?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, that’s not the way it went down,” she said, softly smiling at me.
“It isn’t?”
“No, not at all.” She leaned forward on the counter and placed her hands on mine. “Reed and Natalie started dating in freshman year. Reed was totally head over heels for her. It was really cute.” She laughed again at the memory, but then her face fell.
“It didn’t take long before Jeremy got jealous,” she continued. “I don’t know why. Maybe he didn’t like sharing his best friend. Maybe he genuinely liked Natalie. Or maybe the friendly competition on the ice that had been the basis of their friendship for years finally boiled over.”
She was watching me closely as she spoke, like she was trying to gauge my reaction. I kept my face as neutral as possible, but my heart was beating at a record pace, and my mind was racing even faster.
“If you ask me,” Paige said with a shake of her head. “Jeremy’s just a dick. But whatever the reason, he went after Natalie. They ended up getting together behind Reed’s back, and he didn’t find out for months. Reed was heartbroken when he eventually caught them.”
I was struggling to keep my emotions under wraps. This wasn’t the story Jeremy had told me at all. Of course, he was actually the bad guy in this situation. Deep down, I’d known he was just saying those things to get to me, but I’d let them wedge their way under my skin. I’d been too scared to take a leap of faith with Reed, so I’d welcomed Jeremy’s attempts to clip my wings. There was still one thing that didn’t sit right with me though.
“If that’s true, why didn’t Reed just tell me?”
Paige rolled her eyes. “I tried to get him to,” she said. “But he never talks about it with anyone. He really changed after what Jeremy and Natalie did to him. He shut almost everyone out and threw every piece of himself into hockey. The Darling Devil rumors started to build up, and he embraced them, claiming it was good for his reputation on the ice. But really, he was just hiding the real Reed Darling from the world so he wouldn’t suffer similar heartache again. That was until he met you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve watched him come to life again these last few weeks, and I know it was because of you, Violet. Despite all the walls he puts up, you somehow got through to him, and he fell for you.”
As she spoke, my throat constricted, and a mix of conflicting emotions flooded my chest. It tore me up to learn Reed had experienced a similar heartache to me. But it felt even worse to know that while Reed had put his heart on the line and told me how he felt I’d been too scared to do the same. My instincts had urged me to flee at the first sign of danger, and I hadn’t been brave enough to stick around when there was even the slightest chance what Jeremy told me was true. And I’d foolishly believed this game was more important to Reed than I was.
“Whatever was going on with this fake relationship,” Paige continued. “I don’t buy it. I think you’ve fallen for him too.”
I knew I couldn’t deny my feelings any longer. They were growing and swelling inside of me, bursting out of the box I’d desperately tried to lock them in, as if they had a life of their own.
“Everything I felt for him was real,” I whispered.
Paige’s face lit up with a warm smile. “Then what are you waiting around here for?”
I hesitated. I felt like a baby bird standing at the edge of a precipice, trying to decide whether fear would hold me back or I would jump and try to fly.
“Trust me, Violet. Reed would never hurt you. Just give him a chance, and I know he’ll prove that to you.”
She bit her lower lip as I thought over what she’d said. Paige was right. After what she’d told me today, the least I could do was give Reed a chance. If he genuinely returned my feelings and he ended up losing his big game because I allowed my fear of being hurt to hold me back, then I would never forgive myself.
I refused to be scared anymore, and I felt my resolve strengthen within me. “Do you think we can still make the game?
“Yes.” Paige clapped her hands together with excitement. “If we leave now, we can get there for the final period.”
I glanced over my shoulder, surprised to find Nicole had emerged from the storeroom and was leaning against the door frame.
“Go,” she said as she caught my gaze. “Go get your guy.”
I shot her a grin before I turned to Paige. “Any chance I could get a ride?”
