MY MIND WASN’T FOCUSED on hockey as we hit the ice for our game against Sunshine Prep. I’d always been so good at compartmentalizing any distractions and ignoring whatever was happening in my life away from the rink. But today was different because hockey was the whole reason Violet had ended things with me.
It didn’t help that we were playing her ex-boyfriend today. Just the way Hoffman puffed his chest out as he skated only a few feet from me was enough to spike the hot adrenaline that was already pulsing through my blood.
“Don’t do anything stupid,” Grayson warned as we were warming up.
I was scowling across the ice at Hoffman, so it wasn’t hard to tell where my head was at.
“I hate that guy.”
“I know,” Grayson replied. “I do too, but don’t let your anger get the better of you today. I know you’d like nothing more than to smash his nose again, but let’s make him suffer where it’s going to hurt the most. Let’s just win the game.”
I nodded, knowing my brother was right. As much as I might hate the very ice Hoffman skated on, I wouldn’t be doing myself any favors if I allowed resentment to cloud my mind. I’d paid the price for that once before, and the consequences would be far worse if I made the same mistake twice. The Ryker Raiders wouldn’t be happy if I got suspended again, and I refused to have my college career derailed by anyone, let alone Jeremy Hoffman. If I wanted to wipe that smarmy smirk off his stupid face, the best course of action was to channel my anger into helping my team beat the Saints fair and square.
“I’m just glad hockey’s a contact sport,” I muttered as Grayson skated away.
I imagined Hoffman was thinking the same thing because he caught my eye across the ice and grinned. Yeah, this game wasn’t going to be pretty at all.
Unfortunately, as much as I tried, I couldn’t seem to harness my anger and redirect it into my warm-up. I was still tired and distracted, and no amount of visualizing myself checking Jeremy to the floor and scoring the winning goal could focus my mind. My muscles refused to cooperate as if they too were giving in to the agitation coursing through my body. I was making silly mistakes, letting my mind drift at key moments, and forgetting where on the ice I needed to be. Given the concerned looks Grayson kept sending me, I knew my poor performance wasn’t going unnoticed. The game hadn’t even started, and I was already acting like a total rookie.
“You’ve got this, don’t you?” my brother asked as we went to join the rest of the team for our pregame pep talk.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not acting fine.”
“Well, I am.” I glanced up at the crowd. It was stupid to think Violet might come after everything that had happened. But a part of me still stupidly hoped she showed. She hadn’t texted me back all week, and she’d dodged all of my calls. I considered showing up at her doorstep and begging her to reconsider, but I knew it was my over eagerness that had scared her away in the first place. I had no idea how to win her back. Maybe there was no way. All I did know was that standing here on the ice didn’t give me the same rush as usual because I knew it was part of the reason we weren’t together.
“You know she’s not coming,” Grayson said.
“I know.”
“And even if she were here, you’re not together anymore.”
“I know.”
“This is the most important game of the season. No one will stop us from winning the division if we beat Sunshine Prep. Not to mention, there could be scouts watching. And do I have to remind you that this is the Saints we’re playing. We can’t let them win.”
“I know.”
Grayson fell quiet as Coach Ray called for everyone’s attention, but I could see my brother’s focus wasn’t on Ray’s words. He continued to shoot me worried looks, and I knew I hadn’t done much to convince him I was okay. I’d never gone into a game with such a lack of focus before, and I needed to get my head in the right space fast because the first face-off was just a few minutes away.
Once Coach Ray had said his piece, we returned to the ice for the game. The division of red and gold in the stands couldn’t have been more obvious as I scanned the crowd. The rivalry between our teams was clear for all to see, and Grayson’s words rang in my ears. I knew how important this game was to everyone around me.
But as the first period got underway, I was still struggling to focus, and I was playing even worse than I had been in the warm-up. I fumbled the puck, my passes were off, and I ended up on my ass more times in the first few minutes than I usually did in entire games. It was a good thing the rest of my team was on point, because, right now, I was letting everyone down. Still, despite the urgent issue of my embarrassingly bad performance, I still found myself regularly glancing at the spectators, hoping to see a flash of red hair.
Parker scored a goal within the first ten minutes, and Matt added another before the first break. In the second period, the Saints improved significantly. My teammates were getting tired, probably from carrying me the entire first period, and Sunshine Prep scored two goals of their own, leaving the game tied. My shocking performance was summed up in the dying seconds of the period when I accidently passed the puck directly to Jeremy, giving him a free chance at a goal. He easily fired a shot past our goalie, putting Sunshine Prep ahead by one. As the siren blared around me and Saints players and fans celebrated, I could almost hear the collective groan of my teammates. We were losing, with one period to go, and it was all because of me.
My shoulders were hunched, and my head hung low as we skated from the ice at the end of the period, disappointment weighing heavily on me. This was the worst I’d played in a long time. I was letting myself down, my team down, and my school down. And I was already bracing myself for the grueling run that I would put myself through as punishment when the game was over.
“What the hell is going on out there?” Coach Ray demanded, falling into step beside me as I made my way to the locker room. There was a mix of concern, frustration, and disbelief in his hard eyes as he waited for my response.
I couldn’t give him a good answer, so I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“You’ve been having the best season of your life until today. What’s changed?”
Everything had changed. But this wasn’t exactly the right time to delve into my relationship troubles, and Coach Ray was not the right person to do it with, so I remained silent.
“Look, Reed.” He put a firm hand on my shoulder and gripped it tightly. “I know you have a history with this team and their captain. But you can’t let it distract you. We need you at your best out there.”
“I know,” I grumbled. “I’ll try.” I was already trying as hard as I could. I just didn’t seem capable of my best today. But I had no choice other than to keep going.
“You’re our captain,” he finished. “Don’t let us down.”
As we returned to the ice for the third period, I wasn’t feeling any different. The “do better” lecture I’d received hadn’t sparked a fire in me like I was sure Coach was hoping, and even his dramatic team-rallying cry in the locker room hadn’t psyched me up. I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm my pounding heart and relax my chest as I skated to center ice. My team needed me to sort myself out. All I had to do was hold it together for twenty minutes. I could fall apart again after the game.
I repeated that mantra over and over in my head, and just when I started to think it might be working, one of the Saints players knocked his shoulder into mine.
“Watch it,” I growled. Of course, it was Hoffman.
“You’ve been terrible today,” he said with a smirk.
“You’re only up by one goal.”
“Yeah, because of you.” He laughed. “Thanks for passing me the puck by the way. Easiest goal I’ve ever scored. I’m surprised your teammates didn’t leave you in the locker room for the third period.”
“You wish.”
“What’s up with you today, anyway,” he continued. “I hope there’s not something wrong with you and Violet?” He lifted his head to glance around at the cheering crowd. “I haven’t seen her up in the stands. Is there trouble in paradise?”
I knew he was baiting me, but I was still struggling to keep my cool.
“Don’t talk about Violet.”
“Aw, don’t be like that.” Hoffman’s eyes lit with glee. “I’m just worried about her is all. She looked so upset when I spoke to her the other day.”
I narrowed my eyes on him. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, just the little chat I had with Violet on Monday before practice. I thought it was time someone told her why you’re really dating her.”
Monday before practice? That was exactly when Violet had ended things with me. ‘What did you say to her, Hoffman?”
“I told her you’re clearly just out for revenge, like you have been ever since Natalie picked me over you.”
“That’s not what happened, and you know it.”
“Isn’t it?” He smirked. “Well, that’s what I told Violet.”
“So, you lied.”
He shrugged. “I don’t think the finer details really mattered to Violet. Not when she realized that your obsession for revenge had led you to go after the one thing—the one person—that would get to me the most. Her.”
‘That’s not true.”
“That’s not what Violet thinks. No, she thinks these last few weeks have all been about one thing for you—throwing me off my game so you can win today.”
I had no idea how I didn’t lay him out right there. My vision blurred with a red haze. The amount of anger radiating through my body right now couldn’t possibly be healthy. After Violet ended our fake relationship, I was convinced it was because I’d come on too strong. When I’d revealed my feelings to her and kissed her on the ice, the connection between us had been unlike anything I’d ever experienced, and I thought that had sent her running scared. But it seemed Jeremy was the one to push her over the edge by telling her I was exactly the kind of guy she wanted nothing to do with—a hockey-obsessed jerk who only cared about the game.
Jeremy seemed to realize how much he was getting to me because he started to smile.
“I don’t need to date a girl to beat you, Hoffman,” I said.
“Perhaps not,” he agreed. “But she did seem quite convinced when we spoke. It kind of makes me feel like I’ve won today no matter the result…”
Hoffman waited a moment, as if he were hoping I’d lose my cool. He seemed disappointed when I didn’t react. Clearly, he’d been doing his best to get me banned for the rest of the game—if not the season. I was angry, but I wasn’t stupid.
“It doesn’t matter what you said, Hoffman. I’m still going to win both the girl and the game today.” Based on the way I’d been playing and everything he’d just told me, that was going to be easier said than done. I just desperately wanted to wipe the self-satisfied look from his face. However, my remark only seemed to fuel it.
“Except you can’t win both.” Jeremy couldn’t have sounded more delighted. “If you beat me, you’ll only prove to Violet I was right. She’ll know for sure you only care about the game, and you’ll lose her for good.”
“It’s not as simple as that.”
“Isn’t it?” He was far too pleased with himself as he skated away from me to take his position at center ice for the face-off.
Normally, anger and rage only fueled my performance on the ice, but I could feel the seed of doubt Hoffman had planted growing into something ugly beneath my skin. He was just trying to get in my head. I knew that. I only wished it wasn’t working. Would I really lose Violet forever if we beat the Saints today?
Now I knew what Hoffman had told Violet, surely, I could just go to her after the game and talk to her. Regardless of whether we won or lost, I’d just tell her that everything she’d heard from her lying ex-boyfriend was false. But what if that wasn’t enough? I’d tried to talk to her the day she’d ended things with me, and she hadn’t listened. And she’d been avoiding me all week. There had to be a way for me to show her that she was the most important thing to me. Not hockey, not petty rivalries. Only her.
As I slid into position opposite Jeremy, a sudden burst of awareness tingled the back of my neck. I looked up into the stands, and my eyes were immediately drawn to Violet.
My heart stopped beating. It was as if she were the only one in the crowded stands.
She was here. She had come. And as I stared into her bright blue eyes, I knew what I had to do, how to show her what she meant to me. If there was a choice between winning the game or the girl, she needed to know I’d choose her every time.
Even if it spelled the end of the Darling Devils.
