I PULL Alex’s hoodie over my head, grabbing fistfuls of its softness to comfort myself. I know I’m overreacting. It was just one weekend with two guys I hadn’t seen in years. But it felt like more: the way they looked at me, the things we talked about, the hours we spent together spread across their bed.
It’s always felt like more with those two. I still can’t wrap my head around how everything can click into place so perfectly while simultaneously not working out at all. First, I was in university with them fighting, and now, I don’t even know what could’ve happened. Like, are throuples a thing? Would they go for that?
Is it even worth thinking about when neither of them even brought it up? Not to mention, we live in different countries. Can’t forget that.
My chin wobbles, and I turn into the curved plastic window, angling my face away from the passenger beside me.
The condensation from my breath fogs up the surface, obscuring my view until I wipe it away with my sleeve, which now clings wetly to my arm.
There are another two hours left of this flight, and I’m going to let myself cry the entire time because when I land, I need to get serious about work and Prosthetics For Kids again. I already took more time off than I’d planned for. More time than I could afford, but I don’t regret it. How could I?
A hand lands gently on my shoulder, and I turn to look at the older woman beside me. She asks with a soft, lilting accent that I can’t quite place. “Are you okay?”
I sniff and do my best to smile. “I’m fine.”
She raises a brow. “Not to be nosey, but you don’t look fine, Honey. Chocolate?”
I take the foil-wrapped chocolate from her and pop it into my mouth. I hum when it melts, instantly flooding my tastebuds.
“Nothing a little chocolate can’t fix,” the woman says cheerily. “I’m Shirley, by the way.”
“Mia. Nice to meet you.
“You too, dear. Now, why don’t you tell me what’s got you all worked up?”
I freeze. “Oh no. I’m fine.”
“You can just cut that out now. I’ve been around entirely too long to fall for that one.”
Shit. I drop my hood to my shoulders and shrug. “I don’t know where to start.”
“Start where it hurts.”
I inhale slowly and let it out. It all hurts. “I fell for my two best friends back in university.”
“Hmm. How did that go?” There’s no hint of judgment in her voice; instead, it’s somehow soothing, encouraging.
I laugh. “Not great. Alex tried to kiss me, and River punched him.”
“Well, that will do it. But that’s not what’s bothering you now?”
I puff out my cheeks and sigh. “No. No, this is a whole other screwup. I kind of ghosted them back then.”
“Ghosted?” Her brows pull together.
“Oh, sorry. I stopped talking to them or seeing them. We call it ghosting because, poof, you’re gone.”
“I like it. I’m going to use that. So, what happened to bring this back up? Did you run into one of them with their family?”
Pain radiates in my chest as I realize that’s a very real future possibility. I swallow hard and smile, processing how I’m now going to explain to this stranger that I slept with two guys? Am I really doing this? “I went to a mutual friend’s wedding, and they were both there.”
She nods along, not interrupting me.
“And, well… Ikindasleptwithbothofthem.”
“I’m sorry, what was that?”
“I slept with both of them.”
“Good for you, Honey.” She practically beams at me. “I always wanted to do that. Two guys at one time. Really missed out on my chance when I was young.”
I can feel my cheeks growing redder by the second.
“Was it good?” she asks curiously.
I’m not sure I can blush any harder. “Yeah…yes…it was good.”
“So tell me. Why are you crying?”
Dammit. I was hoping we wouldn’t circle back to that. “It was only for the weekend.”
“And you want it to be more than that?”
I shrug because the answer is yes…yes, I very much want it to be more, but that’s not happening. “It’s complicated. They live in Boston, and I’m in Ottawa.”
She shrugs as she says simply, “Then uncomplicate it.”
Just uncomplicate it. If only it were that simple. If things had been different, if the universe had conspired in our favor, then maybe it wouldn’t have been so complicated after all…
I lean my back against the scratched vinyl wood panel wall and close my eyes. I can’t wait to get into my apartment, change into some comfy pajamas, and crawl into bed. My phone buzzes.
Alex: Hello?
Alex: M.I.A. you’re missing in action. Don’t make me fly out there.
River: Your flight landed almost an hour ago.
Group chat status.
A message chimes in outside of the group.
Sidney: Please text Alex you’re home so he leaves us alone.
I flip back to the guys.
Me: Home safe.
Alex: Where? I don’t see you.
I ignore the tightening in my chest and type out my reply.
Me: Funny…
River: How was your flight?
Me: Fine. No delays which is a miracle.
River: You’re in your apartment?
The elevator hits my floor, and I’m just about to hit Send on a message confirming I’m at home when the doors open and I spot Jason leaning on the wall beside my door. He’s been acting increasingly erratic as time goes on, and him showing up here’s a bad freaking sign.
“What are you doing here?” I step back, but the elevator doors are closed behind me.
He lifts from the wall and straightens. “Your schedule’s pretty easy to find at the hospital. Says you were gone all weekend.”
“Why do you care?” Unease starts to settle in my bones. That’s a level of creepy I’d like to avoid.
“You haven’t texted me back.”
I’m entirely too tired for this right now. “That’s because there’s nothing left for us to talk about.”
“The hell there isn’t. We’re good together. You know that,” he snaps, and his words slur at the end. He’s drunk. I fold my arms over themselves, remembering how he’d manhandled me the last time he drank.
My body tenses out of instinct, and alarm bells sound in my head. You always hear about exes snapping and going psycho, and there’s something way off base about him showing up like this.
I keep my voice soft. Deescalate. “You’re the one that broke it off.”
“Yeah, because I thought you needed a reminder that you can’t ignore me.”
I’m ignoring you fine now. Rage builds in my chest, but I bite back my words, acutely aware we’re alone. “I told you I wasn’t ignoring you. I just have a lot on my plate—”
“Yeah, your internship and your charity.” He practically spit the last words, and my nose scrunches in revulsion. What the hell was I thinking dating this guy? He continues. “I told you I would take care of you. You didn’t need that job, plus you’re not even getting anything from the charity you spend all of your free time on.”
I breathe in slowly, trying to keep my heart rate steady. “You could have done it with me, you know? If you’d been willing to go to an event, maybe you wouldn’t have felt like you were stuck at home. You know I needed help.”
“Help you? With what? Your pointless charity that’s only managed to help a few kids? You are delusional if you think this is taking off. Look at the time you put into it. What do you have to show for it? Nothing!”
I flinch, and the back of my eyes burn as his words hit their mark. “Just stop. We’re not together anymore. Why are you doing this?”
He stalks closer, leaving only two feet between us, and sneers down at me. “You know what I think? I think you’re doing this for the clout. I think you want to be able to go around all high above everyone and say how you helped the needy children.”
“They aren’t needy!” A spark of anger burns through my self-preservation. “I have the opportunity to make people’s lives better. What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing, Love,” he says, and I wince. It somehow sounds slimy when Jason says it. He takes another step. “I love you. Come home.”
“We. Are. Not. Together.” I grip the handle of my bag in both hands, prepared to swing it at him if he comes any closer.
He scans me, and his eyes narrow. “What are you wearing?”
“What?” The question is so out of nowhere that I look down. Oh shit.
“Whose hoodie is that?” His voice is low, sharp, angry. He grabs my arm hard, and a pained cry breaks free.
“It’s…it doesn’t matter.” Fear alights my nerves, and I try to shift back. My shoulder blades connect with the elevator door. My heart skips frantically. I’m trapped.
He uses his hold on me to shake me. “Where the fuck were you? Were you out there fucking someone else?”
“You’re hurting me.” My mouth freezes open, and his eyes widen.
“You were. You are such a selfish little slut,” he hisses at me. “That wasn’t very smart. You wouldn’t want me talking with the board, would you?”
I swallow back the bile threatening to climb my throat. His dad sits on the hospital’s board of directors, and he has more influence than he should. It’s not the first time he’s tried to use it against me.
“Hey, buddy. Get your hands off of her.” My head whips toward the new masculine voice, and my breath comes out in a whoosh. Mark. I’ve never been so grateful to see my neighbor.
He glances toward me. “You okay?”
I swallow. “Yeah, fine.”
Mark’s brows pull up, and he tilts his head toward Jason. “This guy bothering you?”
Yes. “He’s my ex. And yeah, he is.”
“Mia.” Jason sounds shocked. I have no idea how he can be this delusional.
I push off the door and skirt around Jason, not turning my back to him as I make my way to my apartment. “It’s late. I think you should go.”
“We’re not done talking,” he says through clenched teeth.
“I think you are.” Mark steps fully out of his apartment, revealing his full size. He’s over six feet tall and twice as wide as Jason’s wiry frame. He’s so warm and friendly I’ve always thought of him like a teddy bear, but right now, all tatted up and giant, he’s scary as shit.
Jason must think so, too, because he raises both hands in front of him in a placating motion. “You’re right. It’s late. I’ll talk to you later.” He hits the button for the elevator, and the doors open within seconds.
“Answer your texts next time, Mia,” he shoots over his shoulder as he steps inside.
“Are you going to be okay handling him?” Mark asks the second the doors close.
I rub my palm over my face. What if I said no? “He was just drunk. I’ll talk to him, and I’m sure it’ll sort itself out. If not, I have a friend I can stay with.”
Jax will definitely get arrested if I have to explain why I want to move in there. “I’m fine. Thanks though. Just tired.”
“You need anything, just knock.”
“Will do. Thanks again. Seriously, you really helped me out.”
I shut the door behind me, lock it, then collapse against it, sliding my back down the wood until my ass connects with the floor. Crookshanks meows and weaves around my legs, purring loudly. I stroke his hair and take deep breaths until the adrenaline dissipates enough for me to breathe normally.
My phone vibrates nonstop in my pocket, and I click Accept. River’s face fills my screen, and he scans me back and forth before his eyes meet mine. “Are you alright?”
How the hell did he know?
“Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t I be?” My voice cracks at the end, and the back of my eyes burns.
His brows pull together. “You’re not alright. What happened?”
He sounds so genuinely concerned I nearly crumble right there. I wish I could rewind time. Crawl back into bed between them and just forget about everything else.
“What happened?” Alex shoves his way into frame, and his smile drops when he looks at me. “Mia?” He sounds entirely too serious to be my fun-loving Alex.
“It’s fine. I’m just being silly, really. Nothing happened. He wasn’t even that close.”
“Who wasn’t that close,” River growls low in his throat.
“Um.” Both men watch me through the phone and wait for my answer. “My ex. He…ah…he was at my apartment, wondering why I hadn’t been answering his texts… He was…he was drunk and scared me a little, but it’s not a big deal. Like I said, I was just being silly, overreacting.”
“Mia. Listen to me. First, I want you to check that you locked your door.” River’s voice is a steady command, and I get up and confirm it’s latched.
“It’s locked.”
“Good. Now, I want you to go sit on the couch.” His tone is gentle, like he’s talking to a frightened animal.
I sink into the rough fabric of my sofa and pull my legs up. I flick on the light beside me and look at the two men still filling my screen. “Okay.” I try to change the subject. “What are you up to?”
River lets out a breath. “You’re trembling.”
What? I look at my hand holding my phone, and sure enough, it’s vibrating in the air. I give them a wan smile. “Okay, so maybe I was a little freaked-out.” I punctuate it with a fake laugh, but neither of them matches it. “But I swear, it’s fine. He didn’t even stay long. I’m just tired from the trip.”
“Want me to call Jax?” Alex asks.
“No,” I say too sharply and clear my throat. “The last thing I need is this blowing out of proportion. My ex was drunk. He came to talk, but it’s late. I was alone and uncomfortable. Nothing happened. I’m fine.”
Alex scans my face, and a menacing grin curls his lip. “Want me to talk to him?”
I bark out a laugh, and my tension drains with it. “You’d scare the crap out of him.”
“That’s kinda the point, Kitten.” He winks.
I chuckle. I just can’t with him. “Wait. How did you know something happened?”
“You didn’t answer.” River’s gaze bores into mine like he’s searching for secrets.
“Answer?”
“Check your phone.”
I flip through my texts, and there are at least twenty messages growing in concern. I make a note to message Sidney, who they clearly contacted to tell her I’m fine. The last message mentions if I don’t pick up, they’re calling the police.
“You guys sure know how to freak out.” I force a laugh.
“I hate that we’re not there,” River responds, ignoring my comment completely.
My eyes snap to his, and I swallow. I hate it too. “It’s fine. I promise. I’m just tired.”
“Promise to call us if you’re not?” Alex asks, and he looks so unsure for a moment that I want to tell him I need him. But what good would that do?
“I promise. But I’m good. Really. You guys have a good night.”
“Goodnight,” they reply in unison, and I click off the call. It takes another ten minutes for me to assure Sidney that Jax doesn’t have to come here before I lift Crookshanks in my arms. Heading to my bedroom, I climb in and let exhaustion take me under.
