Approximately Three Years Ago…
I’m out of breath, and my heart is beating rapidly in my chest. It has been a week since I’ve last worked out, and it is already affecting me. School is piling on the stress, making it impossible for me to do anything I genuinely enjoy. After finishing my run, I walk back to Aunt Carolina’s house, briefly stopping by my favorite smoothie shop.
When I get back to the house, Aunt Carolina is luckily out with her friends. Adrian is racing in Spain this week, which means I’m all by myself. Before I can feel lonely, my phone vibrates. Gabriel’s name flashes on my screen, and I get excited while my stomach turns upside down. It’s been a month since I’ve last seen him, but we speak on the phone almost three times a week. We also text a lot or send each other content over social media, which we know the other person will enjoy.
Quickly, I take a shower and make myself somewhat presentable. Gabriel and I usually video call, so I must look as attractive as possible. My phone vibrates on the bed, and I throw myself on it, briefly fixing my appearance. Gabriel is lying on his hotel bed, a beautiful smile on his tired face. He’s slowly been growing a beard, but it is still patchy. I don’t mind it because he looks sweet and sexy with a bit of stubble. The yellow shirt he’s wearing complements his green-brown eyes. We make conversation about how our week has been so far, and when he flashes me his breathtaking smile, which is decorated with charming dimples, I melt.
“How is your brother doing? Jean, right?” Gabriel’s face lights up, and he smiles brightly.
“Yes, Jean. He’s doing okay. He’s got a lot of schoolwork he likes to complain about,” Gabriel informs me as he rolls his eyes. “Jean is a bit dramatic when it comes to school.” I chuckle, but I can’t help but feel bad for his brother. I understand how challenging school can be. After all, I’m still going through it myself.
“So, what else is going on?” I ask him after we make awkward faces at each other and laugh. His smile slowly fades, and he bites the inside of his cheek before he speaks.
“I met someone. Her name is Kira Delgado, and she is an actress. She is brilliant and funny, and I am going to see her again when I get back to Monaco.” I am close to hanging up.
“Gabriel, I gotta go do homework,” I excuse myself after listening to him gush about Kira for almost five minutes, even though it feels like he’s been talking for an eternity.
The initial excitement of talking to him over the phone has faded and left nothing but hurt and disappointment in its place. I text my brother and see if he has time to talk to me. Adrian responds instantly and tells me he is ‘preoccupied’. I shake my head and smile at my phone. He seems to be ‘preoccupied’ a lot recently, which is good. Adrian is usually too responsible, which is precisely why I am happy he is enjoying life. However, I am sad I can’t talk to him right now. I need someone to take my mind off Gabriel, and the only other person I can think of is James. I text him to see if he has some time, and within minutes, my phone rings, and James’ name flashes on my screen.
“Helloooo,” I say, relief washing over me. I need James to tell me about his life and make me forget about my own.
“Hi, gorgeous,” he chimes into the phone. “You miss me?” I let out a short laugh before I assure him I do. “I miss you, too, luv.” I hold back the tears that threaten to leave my eyes and scold myself for wanting to cry. “Katie and I broke up,” he informs me, and my mouth falls open.
“How come?” I ask, still shocked by this new development. James and Katie have been dating for two years, and the last thing I knew was they were happy together. This is as much of a surprise to me as Gabriel having a girlfriend.
“I don’t love her; I don’t know if I ever did,” he plainly admits, and my mouth opens wider. I am glad we are not on a video call because my facial expression would only make him feel worse.
“I thought you did.”
“So did I, but I don’t think it was love I felt,” he whispers in the softest voice.
“Have you ever been in love?” He stays quiet for a very long time. It isn’t a bad question, and most of the time, James opens up to me about everything, but the silence on the other side of the line drives me crazy.
“Your brother is outside of my hotel room. I have to go. Bye, darling,” he lies and hangs up. I know Adrian is busy and wonder why James would lie to me.
For the rest of the day, I stay in bed and do my homework. Aunt Carolina comes home eventually but doesn’t bother to let me know. She simply goes to bed, and I figure she has already eaten. Everything is routine in Los Angeles. I go to school, get home, work out, train in the simulator, do my homework, prepare some food, take a shower, and go to bed before waking up and repeating the same shit.
