My fingers run over the soft skin of her cheek, tracing her features to memorize the feel of them. Valentina fell asleep as soon as she came home from James’ house. I’ve been watching her like a creep for the past half an hour, but I can’t help it. She’s everything to me and admiring her face is the only thing I want to do while she’s asleep beside me.
Val lets out a little, tired groan, her dream creasing the skin between her eyebrows. I smile at her, brushing her nose with mine as I inch closer. Just as my eyes are about to shut, a crashing noise shudders through the house.
“Hmmm?” Val says, raising her head, but she’s still mostly asleep.
“I’ll go see, chérie,” I whisper, and she falls back onto her pillow, trusting me to check on Adrian.
He’s on his knees downstairs, picking up the shards of the vase he broke.
“Are you okay?” I ask when he doesn’t acknowledge my presence in the foyer.
His gaze shifts to my face, revealing to me that something is bothering him through the redness around his eyes.
“Is Val sleeping?” he says, and I nod to assure him it’s just him and me. I help him pick up the pieces, waiting for an explanation. “I’m having a bad night,” he explains, but I already knew that. Adrian is more transparent than he thinks.
“You can talk to me about it, if you want,” I offer, and he drops backward until he’s on his ass, tears falling down his cheeks.
This is the first time since I’ve met him that he’s felt comfortable enough around me to cry, and I’m not sure what to do.
“Do you ever have those nights when you get lost in your head, thinking about everyone you’ve lost and picturing the pain they felt when they left this world?” he asks, and I sit down too.
“All the time,” I admit, doing my best to calm my racing heart.
He wipes his tears, wrapping his arms around his legs and leaning back to look more casual than he’s feeling.
“I can’t get my dad out of my head. The day he crashed into our living room, drunk out of his mind. A small part of me died with him as I watched the paramedics drag his lifeless body from the car. For some reason, I can’t get the image out of my head tonight, and it’s ripping open old wounds,” he says, allowing me to envision what he had to go through as a child.
Chills cover my whole body.
“I’m sorry, I can’t imagine how traumatic it must have been. I was only told what happened to my mom, but, every now and then, I will see an image in my head of her dropping to the ground in the grocery store. I didn’t have to be there for it to haunt me, so I understand,” I reply, and he gives me a compassionate smile.
“It feels surreal when I replay the memory, like a bad dream I had, or a nightmare that’s consuming me.” I nod, moving forward to pick up the shard I’ve been focusing on for a few moments. “Why can’t my head let it go? Why does it have to show me what happened over and over?” he asks, pulling on his dirty blonde hair as more tears fall.
“You miss him, Adrian, and, unfortunately, that’s the last memory you have of him. It’s the most recent and traumatic, so your brain latched onto it. It’s difficult to forget, if not impossible.”
His eyes shift to my face, studying me with an intensity that tells me he needs a distraction, to focus on something else to let go of what pains him.
“Come on,” I say and stand up before holding out my hand to help him off the ground.
“Where are we going?” he asks, letting me pull him up. I place my hand on his shoulder, squeezing it to comfort him.
“You’re going to show me where you keep the broom so I can clean up the shards. I don’t want Val to kill us tomorrow for leaving pieces of porcelain on the ground,” I start, and he chuckles at my words.
“She is really bossy,” he complains with a smile, and I return it.
“Yes, she is, and rightfully so with us,” I add and follow Adrian to the cupboard where the cleaning tools are.
“I’ll take care of my mess,” he says when he grabs the broom, but I rip it out of his grasp.
“No, you’re going to set everything up for a card game of your choosing so I can kick your ass,” I reply and make my way back to the broken vase.
By the time I’ve finished cleaning, Adrian is already at the table on the veranda, staring at the full moon in the sky.
“Are you praying to God to help you win? I think it’s a hopeless case,” I tease, and Adrian lets out a small laugh.
“No, I haven’t prayed since I was a child. I don’t even know if I believe in God anymore, or something like Him. I don’t know.” I was not expecting a serious response from him, but it’s interesting how alike we think.
“I feel the same way, but what I’m sure of is that the people we’ve lost are watching over us, caring for us,” I say as I settle down in the seat across from him. Adrian’s eyes, the ones that remind me of the woman I love, stare into mine.
“I don’t like how close we’re growing, Gabriel. I think I need a break from you,” he points out, and I burst into laughter.
There is the Adrian I know.
“You can try, but I’ll still be here, at your house, bugging you with my presence because Val wants me here,” I reply, picking up the cards to see what I’m working with this round.
“I really don’t know what she sees in you. Your good looks? Your kind heart? Pfft,” Adrian says, and my jaw drops a little before amusement pulls my mouth into a smile.
“You’re a dick,” I say in Italian, and he winks at me.
“Just to you.” I shake my head, leaning it back to let out a sigh.
“Remember who’s teaching you Italian for free,” I remind him while he plays down his first card, making it my turn.
“Remember who’s not beating you up for doing unthinkable things to their little sister,” he replies, shutting me up for good.
Touché, I think to myself before smirking at my cards.
